1 y.o. Twins Biting Eachother

what worked and i still have to do this is...i read him this series of books .."Mouths Are Not For Biting" "Hands Are Not For Hitting" and "I Can Share" honestly they work...i don't know if she's a bit young still ..but it's really helping my son. good luck

**Adding This:
ALSO, another thing I do with my kids is, instead of saying "NO" to everything, I simply say "stop" when they are doing something they shouldn't. Kids get desensitized to the word "no"....but if you say 'stop' it conjures up a different reaction in them. And they stop. If my son is across the room for example and is doing something naughty, I simply say "stop" or I give the sign language for it holding up my hand... and he knows instantly to 'stop.' No need for yelling across the room and saying 'no' and then explaining everything and getting ignored. Many times, I will say his name to get his attention, then I point at him and say "stop. now." and then he will. Versus if I say 'no' they just act like they don't hear you. Ha, ha. So I have found the word "stop" to be more useful many times.

You could try and teach both twins, sign language. That way, they have a way to communicate... teaching them functional words/signs for things such as: help, more, hungry, stop, happy, sad, milk, eat, etc.

But at this age, it's common that they bite. Some even hit and slap and pull hair. It's developmental and exploring. Certainly, they won't be fully cognizant of "our" rules. So, just keep in mind the age appropriateness of whatever method you use. Usually at this age, it being distraction and redirection methods. Yes, time outs are too much too soon. Or, you could try a 'time-out' for the toys... meaning, taking the toy away for a moment... if she bites. Then when she stops, PRAISE HER, and give the toy back.

It's also common at this age that they laugh and think it's 'funny' when they get told 'no' or scolded. Again, it all has to do with ages and stages and the developmental ability of the child.

Main thing, is not 'expecting' a child to be and act older than they are, and to expect said reactions to be more in line with an older child. Versus just a 1 year old. Expecting 'more' than what is indeed age appropriate, will only lead to frustration for Parent. At this age, your daughter IS acting normal.

A great book is: "Your 1 Year Old" which you can get from www.amazon.com Its a real easy fast read, and simply explains a child's age characteristics, and so that they parent can understand and know their kid is normal and ALL kids do things like this.

I would again, teach them sign language and 'manners.' Simply saying "please..." and "thank you...." and "your'e welcome..." for things. It's also 'modeling' for your kids, what is appropriate or not. But again, it takes time for the said behavior to sink in... so be patient. Things like this are not learned auto-pilot... and it takes a whole childhood to learn 'our' ways and rules.

My son also laughs and thinks it's funny when we scold him for hitting his sister, on purpose. We do the 'toy time out' with him, and this works. The key thing is... see what makes your child tic. For us, scolding or saying 'no' does not work with my son. But if we explain to him and describe 'why' something is not okay...then he is more prone to behaving in the way we wish. Which is understanding that hitting 'hurts' others and that he then 'apologize' to his sister and hug her. Then we always praise him for the desired behavior. And not giving attention to the 'negative' behavior.

All in all, this is normal for kids this age. "Parents" magazine www.parents.com also gives good run downs of what to expect at each age. And how to handle it.

Kids at this age are also starting to assert themselves and have a sense of self... so 'helping' them to handle things positively and while allowing them to explore themselves and situations are a balancing act. They are ALSO developing more 'emotions' which they never had before... so all of this combined, is a doozy for them. They simply do not know how to cope or handle all the feelings they have. So, we need to teach them. Just like a coach teaching a child how to play a sport.

But I would utilize sign language. Even if they do talk, or not at this age... it is real handy and useful for a child. Both my kids really benefited by it. AND... in tandem with that, teach them the 'names' of feelings, and the emotions... and empathy. Even if they are a bit young to completely understand it now... through repetition, it will be learned and they will understand in time. I did this with my daughter, and before she was 2 years old, she was very articulate for her age, in regard to feelings and what the reactions are in others, and could tell me the exact words for what she was feeling. :)

Also, their attention span at this age, in conjunction with their memory... plays into it as well. So, if she bites...you have to have a related reaction to it right then. Not 5 minutes later. By then, its too late and they might not make the 'connection' to why they are being reprimanded for something later. And yes, then they walk away. Their mind is simply on to other things by then. Kids get distracted easily! :)

Anyway, just some ideas. Hope it helps.
All the best,
Susan

It sounds like the one twin is needing some one on one attention. I have heard if you don't one will turn out the bad twin and one the good twin. They form this very early. Look for there own love language. I'll bet the biting twin has a different love language than her sister. There is a book the five love languages of children, if you can't find that get the Five love languages and it will help you find you daughters. In the book it says that if one kids love language is the same as yours you usually give that more because it's yours so that child will fill more loved. Also have them do different sports and different musical instruments so they don't feel they have to compete. Good luck. M. R

I am a twin (in our 30's now) and had to laugh at this...When my sister and I were little, she was the biter. I never bit her back, and I guess our mom couldn't figure out any disciplining that worked either. Well, one day I had had enough-I bit her back and she was so shocked I guess, that she never bit me again! Not to say that you should just let your other daughter bite her sister, but that's what happened with us. Sorry I don't have any helpful advice, but I thought you might appreciate a funny story. Whatever happens I guess you can be assured that she will grow out of it eventually, especially as she learns words and can better communicate what she wants, feels, needs.

Totally agree with Susan and Julia!!

This is a matter of the word 'no' meaning nothing to a child this age. I got some great advice from our communication therapist about discipline...'how is he supposed to know what the word means if you haven't shown him?' For us it was kind of a light bulb moment, but I agree that redirection has been very successful and I also use the 'toy timeout' for when he misuses a toy and I've warned him with 'that is not safe' or something indicates the actions is 'dangerous'.

As for biting, my son at around 15 months started hitting me and laughing and running away (waddling away). So, I had to start with a very firm 'stop it' and of course the expression on my face to go with it. Then, I would follow up with a 'hitting is not okay, it's not safe and it hurts people'. Over a couple weeks of repitition and the firm words, he got it and once he got older I even added the 'please say you're sorry'.

Whatever you choose to do, just know it's totally exploration of self and her surroudings. She's not doing it out of spite or to be mean, it's just something new and different and she doesn't know yet why it's wrong.

Be consistent and be firm, and she'll understand it's not okay.

Good Luck

When my b/g twins were 1, my daughter would bite her brother out of frustration also. I just stayed consistent with sternly telling her "No Bite" and then redirecting her attention. I was careful not to let my anger, frustration and dismay show because that would cause her to laugh. It required me being very attentive to their play so that I could stop her before she could actually harm her brother, but within a few weeks, she stopped biting. I didn't feel that time outs would have any effect on her at that age since she was not yet even 1 1/2. It was a very trying few weeks, but my motto "This too shall pass" came to fruition and they moved on to a new stage (and new problems - lol).

sorry for the late response. But you need to grab her hand & bite her so that she puts the 2 together. When she bites herself she stops when it hurts a little. But if she is bitten seconds after she bits she starts to realize that it hurts. She's crying I'm crying. If you bite her hard enough the first 2 times she won't do it again. But this won't work if you give her a lecture on bitting hurts first. Just grab and bite her back. then give the lecture, see that hurts. You have caught her off gaurd and it was fast enough that she is still thinking about her bitting her sister. Good Luck.

My oldest Bit once, 2nd bit twice, 3rd bit twice. Then they get it. I bite and someone is going to bite me.

J.

I don't know how many months your girls are, but with my 2nd daughter we had to start the time outs at 18 months and she understands them, she is 20 months now and when we say no, do you want a time out she really understands! We put her in her crib for a time out with lights on and door open or closed and time for literally one minute. She does not hit her big sister any more! Good luck!

I think that briefly removing her from the situation and putting her in the playpen is a wise move when you haven't been able to prevent biting. I wouldn't call it a "time-out", but just tell her that biting is not acceptable. After she's removed, then pay attention to the child who is behaving more appropriately. You don't want the girl who is biting to get lots of attention for it. Some kids like any type of attention (positive or negative) Are you able to provide close supervision when the girls are playing together? Do you think they are together too much of the time? Maybe they could be playing by themselves sometimes. Kids that age don't share of course- but biting is so drastic, that it needs to be stopped. I would really try and give the girls lots of positive praise when they are playing well by themselves or together.

My background is I've been working in special ed for 30 years. I have 3 kids of my own ( 2 grown, 1 a good teenager). I never had the experience/joys/challenges of having twins of my own. I am sure that it can be very challenging.

I hope this helps.

I have twin girls too and they are doing the same thing, the only difference is both of mine are biiting eachother. I have tried everything you said but all the do is laugh like it's a joke! now for the past week when they bite eachother I just take them away from there sisters and put them on the other side of the room have them play with theselves for a little it seem to be working so far

Hi C., I had twin sisters come along when I was 15.

My suggestions, is keep doing what you are doing and be consistent. They may not know right away what no means, but they are learning every day. I read to give a quick nudge/flick on the cheak while sternly saying no if she bit while nursing and it worked, she quit. The other thing I did was discontinued nursing for a moment and told her no biting. The "time out" told her there is no reward for biting.

As for a comment I saw about bad twin/good twin, my sisters often changed roles. One would be a cryer or trouble maker, while the other was the sweet heart...and then they would switch. It happened all through their upbringing.

Twins are great and cute, but they are a lot of work because it is exactly what they say...double the trouble.

Best of luck.
C.

good homeopathic constitutional remedy can deal with issue with great success. choose practitioner who's primary or better yet, only healing modality is homeopathy. no use if it is ND, MD, OD or chiro who does homeopathy "in addition to..." these guys are good for acute, not constitutional.
Good Luck
V

A few years ago I babysat my grandson quite often. He had a TERRIBLE biting problem - especially me - even though I know he loves me very much. One day I had an idea. I remember when I was little my mother would get the "Fels Naptha" from the laundry room and rub it across our front teeth for just a second. Not much biting happened after that. So I went to the kitchen, took the liquid dishwashing soap - put just a teensy drop of it on my finger and rubbed it for just a second across his front teeth. He screamed and ranted for a bit - I said nothing - He never bit again. A few months ago I heard Dr. Phil make this suggestion - so I can't be too far off. Good luck!!!