10 Year Old Who Hates Baths and Showers?!

Updated on February 26, 2008
C.N. asks from South Bend, IN
6 answers

I have a 10 year old very healthy female. I am currently working more on her weight that seemed to just happen overnight. However, she has a huge problem with taking baths and showers. I have to literally make her get in there and sometimes when I don't want to be bothered I let her just wash up. She thinks it takes too much time and would rather just wash up and run off to school. I have talked to her about how it's more important for women to clean good and have good hygiene. I've even went so far as showing her how to clean herself.I don't know what else to do. On the flip side I have an 8year old who is his correct weight and size who wants to take baths everyday and lay in there for hours at a time. This has caused us to be late some mornings. When I just wants him to go in and wash up quickly he gets upset. I'm at my wits end with these 2. Help Please!!!

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Ah the stage to not shower. Has she always been like this or is it new? I personally remember all of us (me and my 3 siblings) going through this stage, and it comes at the worst time...hitting puberty, really starting to stink and get yucky hair and really needing one daily. My brothers were actually worse. Let her choose a shower time. I absolutely HATED getting up in the morning for a shower and would do much better if I stayed up 15 minutes later to take one rather than get up early in the morning. My mom also started letting us pick out our own shampoo and conditioner and soaps. But know it's just a stage.
As for weight, I wouldn't do more than try to teach her about a healthy diet. It's normal to gain some weight before you go through a big growth spurt. You have to grow out a little before you can grow up. She is getting ready to start puberty and therefore gaining weight to help her as she goes through such a big change. Encourage her to love herself and by doing so she merely needs to eat healthy. If your already eating healthy than don't push the weight issue so much. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

You could try making bath/shower time in the evenings and quick wash-up in the mornings. Or you can try just putting your foot down. "I'm your mother and I'm telling you to do it, so do it, now."

Good luck.

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L.W.

answers from Columbus on

Hi C.,

Maybe it's an age thing because I went through the same thing with my daughter from about the age of 11 to almost 13 1/2.
She would throw a fit when I told her she had to shower. I went through the same talks as you and even bought her a book for teen girls about the importance of their body and nothing helped. Then one day close to the age of 14 it started and now she showers every night without being told. Now we are on the other end and she can stay in there for 45 minutes so I have to cut her off after 20. I also am going through the same thing right now with my 13 year old son. The joys of parenting! lol..
L.

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S.L.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Hi C.,

I can relate to your problem. My 10 year old daughter puts up a fight every time she is asked to take a shower or bath too(usually every other day, unless she had a game or practice on a non-shower day, then she has to take one). We always do our showers in the evening(usually after dinner, but sometimes before). If she is really tired then it is worse. My strategy is this; I will always give her advance warning, sometimes in the morning before school, or sometimes right after school"tonight is a shower night, so make sure you get your homework done before dinner." If you can, have them shower/bath in the evening, that way you won't have to worry about morning time constraints. If she gets tired really early, then have her shower after she gets home from school. Like you, I talk about why it is important to shower and be clean. She will still argue at shower time, but she knows that it is not a choice, and if she wants to watch a little TV or have reading time before bed, then she better not waste too much time arguing, or she will lose out. I hope that this helps you, just remember, in a few years she'll probably want to shower twice a day;)

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M.H.

answers from Bloomington on

I don't have personal experience with this, but maybe letting her choose her own shampoo and scented body wash would help. There are usually a lot of choices at the Dollar Store or make it really special with a trip to Bath&Body works where you can smell all the smells and test out different products. It might change her perspective on it?

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I always try to be incredibly diplomatic when I speak with other mom's on here. I found something in your request a little un-nerving for me. You said you were working on your daughter's weight problem? I just want to caution you to tread very very lightly there. I was criticized for my weight when I was growing up. I was never obese, just a little chunky. My aunt that raised me was incredibly negative about my weight. I went through most of life feel unpretty and unworthy. I actually wouldn't eat for days at a time and then I would gorge myself. I still have a very unhealthy relationship with food. If she feels ugly or devalued, she may not see the reason to take showers. In no way do I mean to criticize you as a mother. I'm sure you're doing what's right for you and your daughter. I'm very sorry if I offended you in any way.

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