13 Year Old Daugher Wants Uggs

I think you should let her earn the whole 140.00. She is learning that she will need to earn the money to get what she wants. Who knows what will happen while she earns the other 110.00. My neighbor has her children earn 150% of what they want to by, take what is left over and put it in a savings account.

I'd say her money is her money. She can't learn how to be wise with it unless she gets to make the decisions with it. If she wants to pitch it in the gutter, it should be up to her.

Hey - be glad that she's willing to work for the money and save for something she wants! That's huge!

C.,

It's not really her money. When she pays for her food, shelter, and basic life necessities, then her money is her money to spend however she wants. And if you are coming up with jobs just so she can earn money, well, that's like the summer work program. Fake jobs are created just so kids have a job in the summer. It costs more from others' pockets than the kids are earning. It's got to be real work. Better yet if she earns it from someone else for babysitting, cleaning, etc. and not from you or it's really like you are paying for them if it's more than she normally gets for an allowance.

However, it's just the brand name that she wants, because there are plenty of copy cat boots that look like Uggs at a fraction of the cost. Does she hang around with other kids who have Uggs? Are these kids more affluent? You obviously aren't wealthy or you wouldn't be here asking or saying they're expensive. Now I'm all for quality and balancing that quality with price, but I looked up the Uggs, and they were about $140, right? That IS a lot unless you're well off. I realize there's a lot of leather and stitching to those boots, and they are probably good quality, but.. she has a perfectly good pair that "don't match everything"...Uh, that's a big clue there! :) Make her wear those! (Or sell them to offset new ones?)

How did she get the first two pairs? That's a problem. She's managed to get them twice, so why not now? How old was she when she got the first pair, now outgrown? Were they a gift? Maybe you should just say although you allowed her to have them before, you have changed your mind because it's not necessary to wear designer labels. Or something else you'd rather say.

Does she ask for other designer label clothing? Are you wearing designer labels? Even if you do, you can justify it because you are an adult, paying for your living expenses, and children aren't entitled to all the rights and priveledges of adults...and responsibilities and stress and ......

Good luck! Let us know what you decide and how it turns out. I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice here to sort through and figure out what might work best for you.

A precident was set by allowing the first two pair of uggs. She is willing to work to earn the money to purchase them. She realizes what the cost is and that once she has spent the money she has earned it is gone and she will be starting back at account value zero.
If she is working to earn the right to purchase something she wants and it is not harmful/distasteful like a motorcycle or a tatoo then I think she should have the uggs she has worked so hard and saved for.

I believe that when children want something special that it is important for them to earn the money themselves. My suggestion is to look on line for better prices. I do think that there are eveeral web sites that carry Uggs.She is willing to work for the money and that is a very good sign. When the money is gone then it should be gone and other things that she may want and or could have spent the money on would have to wait.I would pay her what ever is fair for the job completed and let her buy the boots.

I looked up these boots and they appear to be no more than a fashion statement. If you don't feel they are worth that amount of money and are not willing to buy them for her then just remind her tht her feet are still growing and she may need another pair in less than 6 months.I would let her do chores and earn the money but they should be extra chores not her daily chores.

Hi C.,
I seem to have a bit of a different view here. I love UGGS simply because they are so comfortable and I wear them all winter as well. I cannot do a knock-off...I do not know why, I just cannot. i just do not think they have the same comfort level or quality. I had my first pair for years and I just broke down and bought another. Now, I am 33 yet I have to admit that my 4 year old son has ugg boots as well. I find that if I spend money on something I feel is quality whether for the look or comfort level, I just seem to wear them so much more then if I buy something that is less expensive just for that reason.

Ok, so, I do not have a teenager yet I am sure that what they wear at school these days is quite important to some of them. At least she is not asking you to buy them. It really is her money and if she is responsible enough to earn it then she should be responsible enough to spend it on something as innocent as a pair of boots. I mean this is not just a general allowance, she seems to be making an effort to do specific chores for money. Don't you remember when you wanted something so badly as a teenager that it just became the most important thing to you ever? My sister was a saver...never spent a penny of her allowance and I used to take the dollar and run to the candy store. I have to tell you that to this day, I know what I want and I know I want certain things a certain way and I work my butt off to get them for myself. So spending money when I was younger as soon as it hit my hand did not make me a spoiled brat that did not appreciate things, it made me want to work hard since I knew that I wanted nice things in life and that I would not rely on anyone else to get those things. I was the only one of my college friends that had a job lined up right after graduation...started the next week and have not stopped! I can relate to your daughter and I think a pair of boots if fine...as you said she does use them all of the time! I also think that you probably do an awesome job of just not letting her get everything for nothing and are teaching her that high priced items come with a high work price tag!

I would let her earn the rest of the money.....even if they are expensive, she is using the money she has earned to buy them and that's very responsible of her!

Hi. I would let her raise the rest of the money and get them. She has a goal set and is working for them.

How much do you normally spend on a pair of shoes/boots if she needs them? If it's $30, then tell her she needs to pay for the other $110. She's right, it's her money and she can spend it on what she wants... and it sounds like right now she wants a pair of uggs. Stand your ground! If she blows the money on something else, then she didn't really want the uggs... she needs to learn to budget and prioritize spending toward what she really wants.

When I was a kid, my parents stopped paying for all music, movies, snack foods, 'extra' clothes (stuff I didn't need but wanted), etc by the time I was 10 or 11... if I wanted it, I used my allowance and money earned from odd jobs. It's the best way to teach budgeting -- even though she'll probably say she hates you now, she'll thank you for that in 10 years.

She'll also learn to respect her stuff more if she has to work so hard to buy it. It might take a few times but sooner or later she'll learn to take care of the expensive stuff because she'll know it's not easy to replace.

Check eBay or maybe even Platos Closet for "pre-worn" ones.

Did you get $140 boots when you were a kid?

Its her money and she can do what she wants with it. However I am of the feeling that if she does not want to save her money to buy the uggs then she won't get them. I have personally never understood the facination with name brand clothes. I have alway bought the best quality/value verses the brand name. My family had a lot of financial issues off and on while I was growing up, so I always had to wear hand me downs, discounted clothes and those my mom made for us. If we wanted a special item/style and it was not in my parents budget (or just plane crazy) then we had to save up for them on our own. Also you can go to the store and try them on and then try to find them online at a much cheaper price. Good luck.

I'd let her get them but only with her money. I wouldn't buy them for her. My daughter who is only 7 is familiar with my "I was going to buy you a ___ fill in the blank, boots, coat, hat--" at Target for "$x" you can do that and if you want something more expensive you can have that amount of money and add your own to it to get something else" lecture. She choses and then I don't nag but I think it does teach her the value of money already. I have things that aren't practical that I love but I had to buy them with my own cash.

I have nieces who wear uggs, so I know how important it can be to a teenager--I'll be there myself in about 10 years too =-) I'd say it's her money, so let her spend it how she wants, but why not suggest instead of buying one pair of boots, how about a few outfits to match the pair that doesn't go with anything? Of course, there's always Christmas coming up if she can wait that long maybe Santa could bring them =-)

Tell her to look on eBay. I'm sure they have some deals.

I know you already posted a result but I wanted to support your decision. As long as she was willing to earn the money AND she really wears them, I think you did the right thing. Good for you!

I say let her get them (when she earns enough money ofcourse!).

I am really impressed that you are pushing for your daughter to earn things rather than just giving them to her. I have a daughter like yours and she uses her babysitting money to buy the things she wants. (Her taste is so much more expensive than mine.) In this case I'd probably let her use her money to buy the uggs because it seems like a huge deal to her. It gets to the point where you have to pick your battles. How important is this to you? Good luck!

C.,

When your 13 namebrands clothes, shoes and purses are almost everything to you. Its all about how ppl perceive you. You want people to like you and think you have money. Especially if all the kids around you have it already or you want to one up them. This is probably why your daughter wants so badly to have another pair of uggs.

The only reason I would let her get them is if she already had a light tan or dark tan pair and wanted a black or leather one. If she just wants a light tan and darker tan then its kind of silly because any color tan would go w/ the same things. Also if she wants to spend her money on one thing instead of getting mutiple clothes or shoes than thats her choice and she has to save up for anything else she wants. I wouldn't let her get them and then take her shopping too.

Not to put a damper on your mood. It is your choice. Unfortunately we live in a world of buy, buy, buy. Kids need to learn how to save and invest also. SO she has saved the money for an item. SHe spends the money and has has nothing left. All you have taught her is how to spend her money. SHe needs to learn to use a portion for savings and investing. Investing makes more money. You can start small, mutual funds but you have taught her a life long lesson. Another thing I didn't see here. Does she understand how blessed she is to be able to buy boots when there are some kids who barely have anything. Are you teaching her about helping others in need? The economy has impacted many families in our region. This upcoming season is great opportunity to teach our children about helping others. I try to teach my kids God first, others second, myself last. That is a legacy I would love to leave my kids. Maybe there is something you can do with her old boots or maybe there is something else you both can think of.

I think that too many parents today don't teach their children how to save money. I WISH my mother had taught me that some goes to savings, and some for spending, because I basically grew up not ever saving. If I had money left over after paying rent when I moved out, I spent it. I thought it was crazy how a friend of mine always had $500 saved in her savings account when we were 18, because I couldn't imagine having that much saved. Little did I know, it's easy to save, you just have to change the way you look at money. Instead of looking at money as stuff to buy things with, you need to teach your children to look at it as a seed, and they also need to realize that you HAVE to have money in the bank for emergencies when you're older, so why not start getting in the habit now? It will change the way she spends money when she's on her own. My kids are 5 and 7, and ever since they first started getting allowance, which was about two years ago, I've always taught them about saving money. When they have about $30 in their piggy banks, we take about $5.00 of it out to buy a toy with, and put the rest in their savings accounts in the bank. The kids go with me and give the teller their money themselves. They both have well over $100 in their accounts now. They are taught that it's okay to spend money, but you have to save money too. They absolutely have no problem with having to put some in the bank and love being able to spend some of what they earn. As they get older, they'll have more spending money since they're allowance will go up, but I believe that atleast 50-75% of their money should go right into savings while they're growing up. My kids know that when they turn 16 and want a car, my husband and I will match them dollar for dollar, and if they're asked what their money they're saving in the bank is for, they'll say they're saving it to earn interest, but also to buy a car when they learn to drive. If every single time your daughter saves up enough money to buy something, you let her spend every penny of it without saving, you're not teaching her the lesson of creating wealth. You're teaching her habits that could lead her to live a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle because if she has the money, she will have learned that it's okay to spend it all. Trust me, I have a 16 year old sister, and my mom and stepdad are paycheck to paycheck people. Well, now they've passed it on to my sister because the minute she has money in her hand, she either wants to spend it, or she'll add it onto an amount she's saving to buy something particular. She'll spend every cent on whatever she's saving for, and has nothing left, doesn't even have a bank account! I'd say if your daughter wants uggs that cost $140.00, tell her sure, but she needs to put 25% or 50% in the bank first, have her figure out how much that would have her saving, and let her learn the importance of having money in the bank and not spending it now, while she's still young. She'll thank you for it later because she'll be able to leave money in the bank without having the urge to go shopping.

I didn't even know what they were until I read the other answers. Tell her if she wants them bad enough she will earn and save her money for them. She won't like it but if she wants them bad enough she will save like mad to get them.

These are just my personal thoughts about your situation. I never mean to offend anyone or make anyone mad.

$140 dollars for shoes? NO. Especially since you are a one income family with other children in the household. If these shoes were as important to her as she says, she would be willing to save the money she is given. I would let her know both of these things. Put the whole situation in front of her. And that you are not going to go out of your way to give her more money for everyday chores just so she can have these shoes. my 16 and 10 yr. olds both understand that we are broke right now. They don't ask for things like that because they understand the situation. They also know that when mom gets back to work, things will change but that they will not be given things that I think are frivelous.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that I have been able to help in some way.

hi C...if yer daughter is willing to save her that much money, let her. She is being responsible with her money, better then her goin out every week buying cds, movies, make up, anything just becuz she has money to spend. If you are concerned, maybe compromise with her. Agree she can buy them ( i do NOT know what Uggs are), but you would like her to wait until she earns alil extra money so she can put some of it away. Christmas is coming up or maybe a b-day, if she can spend $140.00 on herself, you would like her to share that with someone else also. just a thought. GL:)