Ok, so My son (17 months old) will not leave the bathtub. He loves his bath from the moment he gets in. He makes the usual "shocked" face when I pour water over his hair to shampoo it, but the bursts out laughing. I know this is probably a dream for most parents, so I will get to my problem. When it comes time to get him out, he SCREAMS. He hits, he bites, he scrambles to get back in. I have tried everything from warning him (3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute til its time to get out) to letting all the water drain before I get him out. He would rather sit, shivering, in an empty tub, than get into nice warm jammies! I have tried making his baths not so fun (where it is just him and the water, no toys, no bubbles) he still didn't want to get out. Im afraid one of these days he is going to hurt himself (he started a new thing of banging his head and poking his eyes when he does not get his way, which I will probably be posting another question about here soon!) He is getting harder to hold down, as he kicks my 6 months pregnant belly! What should I do?
Have you tried a good old fashioned time out? If you give him a count-down warning for the bath ending and he still throws a temper tantrum, I'd sit his little fanny in time out. When I was a kid (even this young) I learned to behave & listen to mom & dad. If I didn't, it was 10 minutes in time out...and the 10 minutes didn't start until we were done crying and yelling. It worked really quick... Good luck
That behavior is unacceptable, and unless you teach him that, there's no reason for him to think that he needs to stop doing it. When a child acts up, it's their way of expressing their dislikes and frustrations. THAT part is okay, but it's OUR job to teach them what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable. If he's hitting, throwing a fit, and not obeying the fact that it's time to get out of the tub, you need to discipline him. My son sometimes doesn't feel like getting out either, but in the beginning of him getting upset about it, I spanked him. I would say "I know you don't want to get out, but I said it's time to get out, and you can either obey and come out, or you can get a spanking for not obeying me." If he didn't make a move to get out, he got a whack on his bottom. If you're not a spanker, you'll have to think of another way, but I'm telling you what, spanking WORKS, it has for centuries, and will continue to work. Just remember when you're dealing with him, that YOU are the parent, he is the CHILD and it is YOUR rules that he has to follow. He's plenty old enough to know when he isn't allowed to do something, you just have to make sure you teach that to him.
Set a timer for the alotted time and then let the water out and make a game of it.
I would drain the water out. Then I would allow him time to settle down. I would let him cry it out. I would leave the room and then come back in a few minutes to check on him.
Drain the water, dry him off (as well as you can), leave him there. He'll get lonely and cold and come out. Just keep an eye on him and walk out of the room.
A timer is an amazing parenting tool. It takes the pressure off you and places the "blame" on an inanimate object. (I'm not making this up - I got this advice from my pediatrician and several parenting books) Decide how long he gets in his bath. Let him play for, say 15 minutes, then give him 5 minutes for washing and picking up his toys, and when the timer goes off, that's it. It's amazed me how well it works for lots of things.
this is a couple that raised 4 daughters and have a "ministry" helping families.
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=1
check them out, and remember that consistency is the key.
E.
Hi K.,
It is a possible red flag that your son is this rigid about a sensory experience ending. He is very young, but if you have any other developmental questions later about your sons behavior, you should put this one in that category too and act sooner rather than later.
For instance, if in the next year you question his speech and language abilities, or if you wonder if his play skills are typical when he is three, then when you seek out profesional help for those things and you should mention this need for a specific sensory experienc and his extreem response to it ending. Children can display sensory warning signs much earlier than they display a full developmental issue. Don't panic about it by any means, but keep it in mind and act as soon as you have any cause to say "hmmmm?"
We also had this issue early, and it did turn out to be something we needed help with. Water was extreemly comforting to my daughter from a very early age, and we used it as a reward for good behavior and as a way to calm her too. We did try showers, and she stayed in these forever too, but it was not standing water, so I felt like I could read a book in the bathroom when she was little, or after she was a little older, I could leave her for a minute or two and she would be safe, just don't let him have anything to plug the drain with!
You could also try a water play table, if he is willing to switch to using water on his hands only in a toy durring the day, he might not need as much time in the tub at night. If he is seeking full body sensory experiences, it may not be enough. Once he is a little older, he may enjoy a large tub of dry beans or rice to play with for a sensory break, and if you are willing to put up with a little mess now, a wash tub full of corn meal gives them something to feel, and is harmless if they eat it. These things helped us, but she always was attracted to water, and still seeks it out for the sensory feedback she gets from it.
Hope all goes well,
M.
About me: Mom of three, age 8-15 (two with developmental disabilities) worked as educational advocate
Okay so this is not fun.... I have been there.My now 11 year old daughter was the same way and I know it sounds crazy, but I set a timer, then let the water out of the tub while she was still in it. When the timer went off the water was gone and she got out. Not always happy, but less of a struggle than before I did this.
Now to the bright spot!! My daughter loved water so much that I put her on a swim team when she was 5 and now she is the Number one swimmer in her age group for the nation, yes nation and she still loves swimming. I still have a hard time with her getting out of the tub, but I took the positive spin and now she is the happiest when she is in the water and hopefully it will end up paying for her college some day!! lol So try and be positive and try the timer.
K.,
I had this problem with my son years ago...(he's 24 now) and we just told him that if he didn't get out before the water was out he might get sucked out of the tub with the water. After that we had no problem getting him out of the bath. It then became a game to see if he could get out before the bathtub emptied. Now later (I would say around 4-5 years) he would stay in the tub for hours if I would have let him. I hope this helps you out.
C.
Is there another activity that you can intice him out of the tub with that he may be just as excited about?
Your goal is to get him out of the bathtub peacefully, if I understand you correctly? This may sound really, really silly, but can you give him a bath right before lunch or dinner (or maybe even breakfast) and then bribe him with the food being on the table? I realize that many people say to bath your child before bedtime as part of a routine and to relax the child. Only in your case, your son relaxes and then is all bent out of shape when he has to come out of the bathtub. So, maybe just changing the time when you give him a bath would help? The other thing I thought about was maybe get a laundry basket, fill it with a couple of towels he can sit on and some water toys and tell him that the water in the bathtub has to go bye-bye but he can continue his bath in the laundry basket on the floor? Maybe he'll climb out of the tub for it? Granted he might be sitting w/out jammies in the laundry basket but at least he came out of the tub by himself. And if he sees that your will spend some more time with him and play with him (while drying him off), that might be even more incentive for him to come out of the tub.
