My 2 1/2 yr old daughter just started a montessouri school last week. She started out strong not crying or even caring if i was around. This week is a different game she saw the other children crying and carrying on so she figured well i will get attention to if i act the same way. Today she cried, screamed and threw herself into the door screaming for me and the teachers just let her carry on. My heart was breaking please someone let me know what to do
Thank you all for your advice. I took everyones suggestions and started having short and sweet goodbyes. I also sw the teacher and asked that she engage my daughter when i leave. Together we worked as a team and my daughter loves school and has benefitted from the social interaction with other children. I have had some other instances arise where my daughter was left in her poop for an hour and a half and it was covering her dress and tights. Noone changed her so i do feel it is important to trust the teachers but also to speak up when something is unacceptable.
She's not having a hard time adjusting to school. Two yr olds are the kings and queens of drama. Don't be tempted to stay to comfort her. Just cheerfully get her to school, talk about all the fun she'll be having as you get her inside, give her a quick hug and kiss, and leave.
What you are describing is typical for some preschool children that age. If the teachers are handling it properly, and yes, letting her cry for a few minutes until she calms down is ok, then she will eventually stop.
In my many years as a preschool teacher I have always given the child some time to get their feelings out before I intervene. I would then offer them a choice of an activity to do to give them some control. If they decline, I allow them to stay where they are and observe our morning routine from a distance. Usually within one week of this the crying stops because we had lots of fun in my class.
And yes, crying is contagious, at that age especially. When one starts, another will start, and another. If you trust your daughter's teachers, trust that they have the experience to handle the situation. This transition is really harder on parents than it is on kids.
Dear M.,
I am the owner of a Montessori School and September is a difficult month with new children transitioning in. What I like to do is before the children start I have them come for half hour visits each day for a week and even though there are some tears when they start it never lasts longer that two weeks nor does it last all day. I have worked at other centers before I became an owner and I knew children who would cry for a month or longer. It is very scary for children when they go to a strange place with strange people. This is why I like them to come for short periods of time so they can adjust easier. I do ask my teachers to try to engage them in an activity to distract them, however that does not always work. I also assist my teachers when they have a crying child because crying is contagious. I don't believe in just allowing a child to carry on without trying to assist them. If the teachers have tried and she is still crying then I would say she just needs to find her own way. What ever you do make your goodbyes short and sweet. The biggest problem we have is when parents hang around. Trust me she will not stop crying while you are there. Give it time I am sure she will be fine. Good luck!!!
It is so heart breaking to watch our children so upset when we leave them. This is completely normal. The "newness" of school has probably warn off for your daughter, and now she's not so eager to go to school. We had this problem at our old daycare. I would stand outside the door and see how long it took for my son to calm down after we left him. Usually, after walking out the door, he calmed down and only put the show on for us. You should see if this is the case. I think I would mention to your daughters teacher that she is having a hard time adjusting, and perhaps they could take her from you when you leave to distract her. The teachers are probably having a difficult time managing all the crying children, and perhaps, allowed your daughter to carry on since she has never thrown a fit before. Please talk with your daughters teachers, I'm sure that they'd be more than happy to help your daughter adjsut to school. Give them some ideas on how to make your daughter feel comfortable.
Amy is right on target. Plus I know that if the child does not calm down a few minutes after you leave then they will let you know. I would also suggest keeping goodbye's short and simple, the more drawn out the more tears. And see if you can bring in a transitional object, and explain to your dtr that it holds all your love. My son used to bring in a stuffed frog and also have family pictures in his cubby.
