Our 3 year old daughter has been coming into our bed every night. She is not afraid & has no real reason to be there. It is making us lose sleep terribly. Looking for way to nip this behavior in the bud. Any suggestions?
there is great success with a reward system as Michelle M has mentioned. I think it is a great idea.
I however, cosleep with my younger children. I am here to say that my 18 year old dd is living proof that they go back to their own beds sooner or later, with out pushing.
Hi my daughter slept in my bed until she was about 5 which is when she started school and was told that that is when she had to sleep in her own bed. I actually didn't have a problem when that time came. I always say to other parents who i know have the same problem that they are only little once so enjoy it while you can, i enjoyed bonding with my child at that time and wouldn't change it for anything. That is just my opinion and most don't agree with me but i also got much more sleep than those parents who fight it LOL!! Hope this helps!
I would go take her out and buy her some new sheets for her new bed. make a big deal out of it and tell she can only have them if she sleeps in her own bed. you need to tell her she needs to go to her own bed. does she start out sleeping in her own bed? Put her back in her bed when she comes to your bed. if she starts getting upset tell her she has her own bed and so does mommy and daddy. it may take a few days and she may try to come back to your bed but be consistent and firm. she will understand soon enough.
My 3.5 yo daughter does the same thing. I let her crawl into bed then immediately tell her it's time for her to go back to her bed and I take her back to her room. She'll then spend the rest of the night in her own bed until she wakes in the morning. She's been doing this for about 3 or 4 months now. I hope one day it stops, but until then I need to keep consistent. Good luck :)
You could buy her a really cool bed that she loves and then threaten to take it away if she doesn't sleep in it.
My oldest daughter did this at about the same age.
What we did to stop it was buy an fairly inexpensive (about $10) toy that she wanted to use as an incentive for her staying in bed. Then we made a calendar that she could "X" off the days that she stayed in her own bed, and once she got 7 days in a row, she could have the toy. We had hung the toy on the wall above the calendar--just out of her reach.
It was important to have the toy for her to see. We tried doing it by telling her we were going to get it...and I think that was too abstract for her age.
We didn't make a big fuss about it, and were completely non-punative with it. If she came into our bed..."Oh, I guess you needed a snuggle. Well we'll just start over tonight with working on earning your toy." If she stayed in her bed "That's great, you are one day closer to getting your toy." It took her less than 3 weeks to earn it, and by then she was pretty much broken of the habit.
Oh, and we bought an alarm clock for her and covered over the minutes, leaving just the hour exposed. We told her that she could come over to our bed when it got to 7. I think that having some sense of how much longer she needed to stay in bed helped her.
Just keep taking her right back to her own bed and explain that everyone sleeps in their own bed. I think the sooner you stop it the more success you'll have!
A baby gate across her bedroom doorway is a wonderfull thing! We did this from the very first night of toddler bed time. It got our girls into the habit of staying in their room at night. When they were potty trained it wasn't an issue as they never went at night and my hubby would open the gate when he got up in the early morning hours. Then he would put the gate at the top of the stairs so that no one would be roaming around the house if I was asleep. It worked great for us. Best wishes
If this is really getting to you, I would try the Ferber method. You really have to read the book to understand the concept but it nips this in the bud in about a week. It involves closing your daughter's door for a few seconds each time she gets out of her bed. When you open the door, ask her if she wants her door open. She will say yes, then you leave it open and you go back to bed. Each time she gets out, her door goes closed for a few more seconds. Works like a charm. My husband didn't want to do it this way, so we used a gate in the same fashion. It took longer to get the same result because the gate doesn't really have the same effect. Our son is now six and he only comes in if he is sick or has a bad dream. He doesn't even remember why he has such good sleeping habits!!
Our daughter used to do this and we got her a light that she could turn on next to her bed. It's a fish light that spins, so she watches the fish swim around. We also put a CD player in her room with fish songs on it and she enjoys watching and listening. She did so well we've now upgraded to a real fish in an aquarium instead of the light.
Just be consistent with whatever you decide to do. It will get better!!
hello B.: i feel the only way to deal with this is to just do it. she will cry and have a fit but will get over it. the older she gets the harder it will be to break her of it. my ex allowed her to sleep with him every night and when he moved out it was a nightmare to break her of at 5. remember, unless you want her sleeping with you every night for the next 6 more years or so...id break the cycle now. also remember, when breaking a cycle with a young one, it gets harder before it gets easier so just bear with it (as hard as it will be) but keep you ground and it will happen.
my son did the same thing, we used the chart. made it together, let him decorate it, picked a "prize" (his was seeing Spiderman Live) and made the rule that after 7 days in a row he could have the prize. At that age, they can understand rules and the way it works. He achieved the goal in the first 7 days. It was the easiest thing, and I wondered why I didn't try it sooner. I'm not a huge fan of bribery, or rewarding for something that should just happen, but come on, we all need our sleep! Good Luck!!
I have the same problem with our 4 year old. If we aren't to tired we move her back to her bed.
Every time she does that, pick her up and take her back to her room. Unless you are potty training her for nighttime, place a gate across the doorway to her room. It won't be easy at first, but it will be worth it. It is definitely time to get your child to sleep in her own bed all night.
Have the two of you tried to put her back to bed in her bed, staying with her until she falls asleep? In the beginning it is very difficult and she will be up more than one time during the night (reminds me of infant time). BUT if you are constant and consistant about it, she will eventually sleep through the night and prefer it that way. I know it is sooooo much easier to let her sleep with the two of you so you can get some sleep, but she is getting bigger and is not the wee one she used to be. I have had to do this with each of my children. Each one is different, so it depends on your daughter how long it will take to get her to sleep all night in her own bed. Hope this helps...
Hi B., I went through the same thing with my son at about the age 2 1/2. It certainly makes a difference on your day when your losing sleep that's for sure. It is all about consistancy. I agree with making a big deal out of a new bed or bedding or something of that sort. You can even buy her a new stuffed doll or sometihing for her to sleep with. They have teddy bears where you can slide a picture in the front. I gave that to my son with a picture of he and I in it. It seemed to help a bit. I do have to say, just keep putting her back in her bed. It may take a few nights and a long few nights at that But it will be worth it. Don't give in to her at all. Remember, CONSISTANCY. Good Luck and I hope you get some rest.
A. P
www.greensthewaytobe.com
I had the same problem last year with my girls (now ages 5 and 7). The girls like to get rewards so my husband and I put three quarters outside their bedroom door each night. If they got out of bed they would lose a quarter each time it occurred. The girls quickly decided to stay in their own beds so they could collect their reward. Eventually they saved enough for a special treat that they decided on. Good luck.
My daughter did the same thing. Except part of her reason was that she kept falling out her toddler bed. We asked her why she would come every night and at first she didn't say why. then she told us that she fell out her bed. So one night we let her sleep on the futon and she didn't come to our room. It seems that she needed more room. We bought her a full size bed and haven't seen her since.
