5 Yr Old Won't Wake up to Go Potty

My five yr old boy wears Goodnights every night still, he has never once woken up dry...he does now wake up and change his wet Goodnight...so i guess that's progress, but he is just a really sound sleeper, and while the cost stinks, it beats changing sheets daily...

You're not alone. My nearly 8-year-old is still in pull ups at night and we don't make a big deal about it. My almost 4-year old (also a boy) NEVER needed pull ups at night. They are just two totally different kids.

Our son is exactly the same way. His 3 year old sister has been diaper free at night for a year and he's 6 and still in pull-ups. It's tough for all of us. But I just explain to him that his body is different and he's accepted that.

My Pediatrician suggested I look at www.tryfordry.com but honestly I think it's just something they have to outgrow. Their bladders are still too small to hold it in all night I guess.

No good advice, just an "I hear you sister". *Sigh*

This is not abnormal for boys. There is something about their sleep that they just don't feel the urge. A friend of mine got a belt her son wore and an alarm would sound to wake him to go.sometimes he slept through it, but I will say, he grew out of it. No concerns, sometimes they sleep so hard they just don't realize. The one thing she realized os the more she brought it to his attention, the worse he did, anxiety, I am sure. Her girls were easy. I would say, you could ask the doctor about the belt, if that would give you peace of mind, but I am sure he will grow out of it. Her son would even spend the night with friends, put on a Good night privately in the bathroom with his jammies. Take a plastic bag, change in the morning, if wet, tuck wet thing in bag and put in suitcase and discard when he got home. He grew out of it. Good luck!

My 5 yr. old boy is also wetting the bed 3-4 nights a week. Our Dr. said that 30% at this age still are. He wears pull-ups most of the time. If he has a couple dry nights in a row I let him go in underwear. I know it's frustrating but I think my guy just sleeps so sound, one night I was up with the other little guy and noticed the 5 yr, okd was wet. He sleeps right through it. He wants to wear underwear so I know if he could he would. Keep trying. M. Ruder

Hi T.
My daughter is almost 7 and still wears a pull-up at night! my neighbor has 5 children, and the 2 oldest were very slow to be dry through the night (their almost 7 year old still wears a pull-up too)
This is not that unusual, and can be less of a problem (sleep deprivation!) for you if you just let him outgrow it. My pediatrican offered suggestions ranging from drugs to behavior modification, to doing nothing and letting her outgrow it (his recommendation). He assured us that our daughter is still within the range of normal. He said that, statistically, there is probably at least 1 or 2 kids in her first grade class who are still wet at night too. I think among 5-yr-olds only about 50 or 60% are dry through the night (don't quote me, but look up the stats) So, your son is not alone! Many parents will still not even talk about it, because they think it is a stigma, when in fact it is totally normal developmentally! If a child has a small bladder coupled with being a very sound sleeper, you get a kid who still wets at night.(asuming there is no underlying medical issue, like a bladder infection)
If you want your sleep back, and a happier son and mom, I would try to take yourself out of the equasion by creating a situation where you are not required to wake him up to go.(you can't teach him to wake up on his own anyway, and he probably does not even remember that it happened!) The problem you have is to convince him to go back into a pull-up at night, which might be tricky. He may have picked up on your concern and frustration, since your first two did not have this issue. He wants to be big like his sisters, and wants you to be pleased with him! Talk to him honestly about his bladder and how soundly he sleeps. He is old enough to understand. Maybe you could try putting a lot of the responsibility on him to pick out what type of pull-up he wants to wear (there are some cool new types now that look like boxer shorts or pajama bottoms), to change and clean himself up, and to change into "big boy" underwear in the morning. Try to convince him that it's nothing he can control until his body grows, which is the truth, but he CAN be a big boy by dealing with the situation he is in right now. Since it is already a negative issue in your house, I would give him some big-time "Big Boy" rewards for wearing the pull-ups. My daughter is starting to be dry on some mornings, and we try to give her a lot of praise, but not draw too much attention to the whole topic, since it has not been a huge negative issue in our house. She does lament once in a while that she wishes she were dry all the time, but we just try to be positive, and assure her that it is normal, and when her bladder grows, she will be dry.
I would discuss this with your doctor, and look in any Childcare books you can find. (T. Barry Brazelton is my favorite, or Penelope Leach)I know how you feel, though! My older son(almost 16 now) was dry at night when he was around 3 or 4, so at first I was wondering what was going on with my daughter (plus, I think this issue is more common with boys, but I had the opposite experience!) Like they always say....none of them goes off to high school in diapers! So, try to relax and let nature take it's course. He will be fine! PS: Restricting liquids does not really help, and just makes the child more negative about the whole thing...I mean, I wouldn't let him drink a big glass right before bed, but don't get overly focused on that. Good Luck

T.,

This is very common for boys. Both my oldest boys (10 &9 now) were in pull ups until about 5 or 6. They are just hard little sleepers. I wouldn't sweat it. The pull ups are expensive, but 1 a night isn't so bad. The co. that makes pull ups have shorts, or brief style and are not so much like diapers. I was concerned with this as well with my two boys, but when my ped. looked at me and said, "no one ever goes to high school wetting the bed" It did kinda put it all in perspective. If you are both really determined, there are alarms that can be used. They wake them if they start to go. I know they can be rented, but wouldn't be able to tell you where to look.

good luck to you, and hang in there. This too shall pass.

M.

My daughter is only three but just yesterday my pediatritian told me that only 50% of 5 year olds are night time potty trained. I hate to admit but I wet my bed until I was around 10. My older sister and younger brother never had this issue. I had horrible self esteem issues growing up feeling like there was something wrong with me or that I was dirty and bad. Please be patient. Try to talk him into pull ups because I think wetting the bed and having to wash himself and change the sheets is far worse on his self esteem than a pull up. Also, he nees his sleep and you do too!

Maybe he's eating veggies or something at nighttime that promotes the bladder to eliminate. Can't hubby get up and put the child on the pottie? I feel bad for the poor child. He's probably embarrassed to death. Good luck mommy

We have used the Malem Bedwetting alarm. It works well, but you have to stick with the program or you will have poor results. They are pretty expensive, but worth it. My son is 8 & we tried it, worked great, now we need to try it again. We must not have used it long enough, but I have read & been told that if you stick with it, it will work for the long haul. Also, they can be purchased on Ebay.
Check them out at: bedwettingstore.com

Strange as it sounds, having their adnoids removed helped to keep them dry at night. When we first went to see the ENT, he asked if our oldest was dry at night and when we told him no, he said wait until after the surgery, he was fairly certain that he would be. Sure enough, that was the case. I'm not saying that all kids need to have their adnoids removed but mine both did. Not having them allow the kids to sleep deeper because they can breath easier.

We used the goodnights - we didn't call them diapers. We called them "white undies" and that seemed to work with my kids. I would much rather deal with the cost than having to wash bedding every day. Not to mention how that must make your son feel when he is wet in the morning.

Best of luck.

I would talk to your doctor. My daughter is 5 1/2 and is still in good nights. She doesn't always have an accident but does often enough to warrant them. Her doctor said that it isn't unusual at this age. Also look at family history. It turns out my mom also had problem until she was much older. The doctor said that it is not a medical problem it is just that they aren't physically ready yet. We had stopped the good nights for a while and tried waking her up to go in the middle of the nights. That backfired and she began to have night terrors.
The best thing for us has been to continue with the good nights. Everyone gets sleep and we try to talk to her about it so she isn't ashamed. It's not her fault that her body doesn't wake her up. Good luck!

Don't force it. In fact ignore it all together as being able to hold your urine while you are sleeping is NOT a learned skill but rather a chemically controlled thing. It would be like asking a 4 mos old to start walking - their body just is not able to do so no matter how much you ask them too. (you can google this and find tons of support for this, it is just a fact.)

So, wait until he goes a week of being dry in his pullups, and stop the stress. Stop interrupting his sleep and let him sleep soundly and pee in a pull up.

N.

Our 7 year old daughter still has trouble at times. I agree to try setting an alarm to get him up to go to the bathroom. It will just take time.

This is totally normal. My older boys never had the problem but my youngest son wet the bed off and on till he was 12. The doctor said it is often hereditary and I asked my mother in law if any of her kids had wet the bed and sure enough my husband's brother had the same problem. He is also dealing with the same problem in his oldest son. All you can do is limit the liquids. I wouldn't allow liquids after 6:00 but my kids always went to bed at 8:00. My son had friends who wore the diapers. My son didn't wear the diapers because he almost never wet the bed but I was always nervous for him when he slept at a friend's house. But somehow he never had an accident, I think he might have been sleeping lighter and more concious about getting up to go to the bathroom. Good luck, I know it is difficult to deal with. Just don't make your son feel bad about the accidents, he really has no control. I put a cover on my son's bed to protect his mattress.

Well T. this is really a tricky situation.For me my daughter is nine and sometimes wet the bed.I will not allow her to drink or have anything that contains sugar two hours before she goes to bed.Yet as I said before she still wets the bed.Things for her has gotten better over the years it is lessfrequent now.I do know that she sleeps really hard and this is a huge problem.If I wake her to take her in the middle of the night shedoesn't remember.She sleeps through the whole thing.For me I just hop these nights become less and less.Now my neice took her tten year old son to the doctor and he was given pills that stopped him from wetting the bed.However when he doesn't take the pills he wets the bed.So thats why I say bed wetting is a tricky thing and it definitely differs in child to child.I do hope you get a resolution.Because I have tried almost everything and I could definitely use some more advice or tactics.

Hi T.,
Have you thought about trying a bedwetting alarm or enuresis alarm? Prior to children, I was in the medical supply field. We used to sell quite a few of these with very positive feedback. It is a sensor you place on his underpants and it sets off an alarm, either on his wrist or by his bed or yours...depending on the system. Most are intended to wake the child up at the first signs of dampness so the child wakes up and goes to the bathroom. They used to run about $50 but may have gone down now that it is not so new of a product. You can look up bedwetting alarms or enuresis alarm and get oodles of info. These used to only be available at a medical supply store, but now you may be able to find them at your drug store. You might even try eBay as you might be able to get one for less than a store. Either way, it is a pretty reasonable solution compared to paying for diapers. I hope this helps. :)

I have the same problem. My 5 year old son sleeps until he is wet and then wakes me up to change bedding etc. I also try to wake up in the middle of the night to take him to the bathroom. My daughter who is 8 never wet her bed. If you find a solution please share otherwise know there are other moms with the same problem.

There is also a medication DDVAP which helps with night time bed wetting. It is prescription, and usually used for kids who are a little older and still having issues with bed wetting - but just so you know it's out there.

My son is 5.5 years old and he still wears diapers at night because he won't wake up to go. He cries about the diapers and doesn't like to wear them, but they are always FULL in the morning. Anyway, I talked to his pediatrician and he told me that some boys it can take up to year 7 before that part of their brain develops to "tell" them to wake up to go to the bathroom. I, personally, don't want to wait until 7, so I bought one of those bedwetting alarms. I bought mine off of ebay but bought it brand new from a store. We tried it one night and it was going off every 1.5-2 hours. So, then I stopped since he was getting up for summer camp and didn't want to mess that up. We will try again over Christmas break. But, the alarms do really work. You just have to be diligent with getting up and taking him to the bathroom when it does go off. My son would wake up, but he kept trying to take it off and not go. He thought he could fall asleep to it- we got one that vibrates and rings so he hopefully wouldn't fall back asleep. So, no great advice, but just wanted to let you know we are going through this as well. He's been potty trained for over 2 years now. It's so frustrating!!!

He's a bedwetter. Both my brothers were, my uncle, and my husband. It is more common with boys. They sleep so soundly that they don't wake up. My mother had to set her alarm for two times every night. She didn't let them have anything to drink after dinner and dinner time was one small glass of milk.

They wet until they hit puberty. The older one wet until he was almost in highschool. The younger one wet until he was in middle school. It was very embarrassing for them both, but they couldn't help it.

My mother even had them medicated at one point. We were in the military and the base hospital suggested a new medication. My cousin even got on it. To make a long story short my cousin overdosed on it and died at age 7. Turns out it was an experimental drug and the military didn't feel the need to tell my parents. It was building up in their systems.

You will probably have to set your alarm, restrict beverages, and so forth...but be patient. He can't help it and will outgrow it. One thing my mother did was to make them responsible for stripping the bed and putting the sheets in the wash when they had an accident. She wasn't mean about it. She just explained that it was helping her if they did that for her. Then at night they would help her clean the mattress cover with Lysol and then put new sheets on the bed.

My success was taking the boys to the potty w/i 2 hours they went to sleep. (I'm usually still up) I walk them slowly, talking softly and helping them with it all.
After a week or so, they started getting up themselves and going. We have an occasional wetting but they usually wake up just after and we get it cleaned up right away.
I think its more of a habit they learn.

Best of luck & much patience~

You know what my son was like that too, until about 1 month b4 1st grade this year. We spoke to him about being a "big" boy and not wearing diapers anymore. Not to say he didn't have accidents. Thankfully I had one of those big pads that they use in the hospital and he always sleeps on that. Doesn't soak thru to the bed that much. Anyways, took about 6-8 weeks, but now no more diapers and we got him a swatch watch as a reward. He's been wanting a watch.
My understanding is that it takes boys a bit longer to get their bladder control.
C.

First, boys tend to have a higher rate of bed wetting. My son was such a sound sleeper that he did not wake up to go either. We stopped him from drinking anything and it did not help. We could move him while sleeping and he didn't wake. Then he slowly got a better control but still wakes up occasionally wet-though his bed is not wet and it is relex upon waking and that he just makes it to the bathroom. It takes time to outgrow and just keep working with him. Maybe you could get him an alarm clock to wake him to go?