6 Year Old Terrified of Tornados

Updated on May 11, 2017
J.N. asks from Westerville, OH
19 answers

Hello mommies :) I have a 6 year old girl who is absolutely terrified of a tornado sucking us all up. She's had a fear of them since she was about 3-4 and the sirens had gone off at my moms house. We went into the basement until it was clear and all was fine.
This episode started two weeks ago Friday when the sirens went off while she was at her dads house in Newark. After that she had nightmares for a week and has been telling me every few hours how the clouds look like a tornado cloud, or the sounds she hears could be the sirens, or the way the wind is blowing could be the start of a tornado. She has never been near one, witnessed one or anything that could have traumatized her like this. About a year ago we started learning about them, how few there are in Ohio, how they form, etc but it hasnt helped at all. I watched her tonight during a simple rain storm (no thunder, no lighting) and she had deep fear in her eyes. She jumped at every sound, whether it was a plane, a car driving by or something on TV. It just seems to be getting worse as she gets older, not better.

What can I do to help her get over this? So far I've tried to be overly protective and reasurring. Thanks in advance ladies!!!

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Do you have a weather alert radio? This has been one of the best investments we have made. You can set it to alert for various watches and warnings. When the weather is nasty, my 8 year old will ask about the watches and warnings. He is a lot calmer knowing that the alert is really loud and will wake up mom and dad so we can get to the basement. I was concerned about it waking up the kids, but it hasn't in the three years that we have had it. It's a comfort to me too. I don't like thunderstorms myself, but I sleep better knowing that we will be alerted.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

Perhaps getting her involved in making tornado emergency kits could help. It could give her a sense of control over an otherwise uncontrollable situation. You can even hold tornado drills, it might help give her some confidence that she knows what to do and when to do it. Maybe if she feels there is something she can do to make were she is as safe as possible it will help her relax.

Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from Columbus on

Ok, I just tried to post this and I don't think it worked, so if I've just posted this incredibly long response twice, I do apologize.

I'm not actually a mother (I got signed up for this site when a friend of mine planted a tree in my honor, I think), so I've never responded to a question before, but this one reminds me very much of my own experience, so here goes.

I had periods of deep fear like this during my childhood, and I did not actually grow out of them as an adult. When I was 19, I went through a period during which I was terrified that an asteroid might obliterate life on earth. I was actually majoring in engineering and minoring in astronomy at the time, so I knew how silly I was being, and this made the whole thing even more irrational and frustrating. I could not control my fear, and once the physiological symptoms set in (pounding heart, cold sweats, stomachache, etc.) it would get away from me entirely and become an entity completely apart from anything my rational mind could say. I would hold my breath in the morning before checking the internet news, terrified that the front page story would be that scientists had discovered an asteroid hurtling towards earth and we all had a week to live. After months of lying awake at night and losing sleep due to my fears of death by gigantic space rock, I finally told my boyfriend about my fears. God bless him, he never laughed at me or called me silly, he just laid out the facts with regard to how unlikely that really is. Just having someone who supports me and doesn’t talk down to me when I have these fears has really been an enormous comfort.

The asteroid thing was not the last episode for me. I suffered a nervous breakdown during my first year of graduate school (at the age of 23). I had a displastic mole removed from my arm and became terrified of developing skin cancer. I literally felt like I could feel cancers growing in the moles on my body. I was in such a state of heightened adrenaline for so many days on end that I woke up at 2:00 am one morning, heart pounding and unable to breathe. I checked myself into the ER, where the doctors gave me sedatives. The next week I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and began taking antidepressants. I have been under psychiatric care since (the past 5 years). It has really helped me, as have the yoga and meditation classes I have taken. I see my fears now as part of the way I experience the world, and something that I can forgive myself for, live with, and control. I haven’t had an extreme episode since, but I feel like if I do I will recognize it for what it is and get through it. So what I’m trying to say is not that you should automatically take your daughter to a psychiatrist, but that you should keep it in the back of your mind that if these episodes persist into early adulthood it would be a good idea to suggest that she seek help. In the meantime, show her support and let her know that her fears are irrational, but also that that doesn’t mean that she herself is silly. Maybe help her try to find some ways to deal with the episodes. Reading fiction works well for me, since I apparently use the same part of my brain to visualize a story as I do to visualize how horrible it would be if whatever thing I’m currently obsessing about actually happened. Be someone that she can talk to honestly about her fears. I never felt able to discuss my problems with my parents, since they typically responded (it seemed to me) with a combination of dismissiveness about the irrationality of my concerns and worry that I was somehow abnormal. Also, teach her how to take care of herself (life skills like cooking, first aid, how to handle money, etc) and remind her that if something bad does happen, she can handle it. I’ve read that people with generalized anxiety disorder are typically very intelligent (extra brainpower = extra capacity to think up scenarios and worry about them), so I’m sure you’ve got a very smart little girl who will do great things one day! And even if this problem does persist, there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.

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P.A.

answers from Youngstown on

Since her fear is spreading, start by tackling how she is during regular storms. Make sure there's no lightening, and turn it into fun. From your front porch or steps, go out and dash in the rain in the front yard. Then hold her hand and run with her. Try to play in the rain for a few, splash in puddles etc. Then just go in the house and have some yummy snacks, make cookies, whatever she likes. If there is thunder, try to have a contest to see who can make the loudest booms, get closest in timing theirs to match the actual thunder, etc. Just have fun. When the storms are bad, or the clouds are kind of ominous, remind her how most are just bad rain storms, etc. Do keep educating her. Make up a special activity kit for when you do have to go to the basement. Most of all, just make sure you aren't acting nervous at all. When I was little my mom did the above things with us, and several tornadoes did go by in the distance. She had us out on the porch watching. Of course, that was in the 70s, and the sirens didn't go off unless one was actually spotted. While the newer standards are safer, they also make alot more people anxious. Hopefully she'll outgrow it if you persevere.

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K.C.

answers from Cleveland on

A disturbed girl in my daughters kindergarten class(and 1st grade too) told my 5yr old that her father was killed by a tornado. She was very descriptive and it freaked my daughter out. We had just moved to the prairie so everytime it stormed she wigged and was irrational. I don't know your daughters personality but this is how we handled it:
(ps she is 8yrs now and wants to see a tornado live)
1)I asked her what part scares her and let her talk about it and made a list of what upset her(when there was no storm)
2)then I addressed the list of stuff one at a time
3)I asked her what she thought would make her feel better, -when she was worried and also -when there was a storm
4)I told her what made me feel better when I was her age and scared.(I would pray the Hail Mary over and over-obviously this only works if you do that sort of thing) AND my father took me onto the front porch to watch thunderstorms roll in so that I went from being afraid to loving them.

They have a kit, http://www.discoverthis.com/tornado-maker.html where you can make your own. This should help but only you know if it will freak her out or improve things.

My daughter finally calmed down when I explained that I had been in a tornado and nobody had been hurt, that people actually follow tornados and take pictures of them, that tornados never killed anyone it's actually stuff flying around from the wind that's hurt people so if you pick a safe spot in the house and at school it will be OK.

When you were at your mom's house did anybody panic? If your mom was the one who got worried and thus your daughter maybe she can talk about how it isn't a big deal and calm her down.

I hope this helps. Hang in there.

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M.N.

answers from Cincinnati on

Teach her -You have been doing this.
Have a safety drill - it will help in all situations
Acknowledge her fears - Our bodies have a fight or flight response for a reason. Too many times we want to 'fix' whatever ails our child, but fear is not something we can change. You can try to find out the root of the fear, but she needs to understand it to work through it. My children are still fearful of high winds, but they know that if the sirens go off, along with the weather radio with a red alert, it is time to head to the basement. A tornado went through our area 10 years ago. With knowledge of the situation and caring adults, she will (excuse the pun) weather the storm! Please give her an extra hug and tell her it is ok to be fearful in certain, but not all circumstances.

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

When I was about 8, I watched a tornado skip over my grandparents neighborhood. It was one of the worst tornado's in Louisville's history in 1974.

We had all kinds of tornado drills at school and information about them during our classes. I know she's probably only in Kindergarten if that, though.

Like others have suggested, it might be a good idea to have a "emergency readiness plan" and a box with all the appropriate things in it (bottles of water, batteries, a weather radio, flashlight, blankets, etc.) and have a designated spot for it in the basement.

Keep reinforcing to her that tornados don't happen very often where you are, that not all storms produce tornados, etc. When I lived in Louisville, the sky always seemed to turn green when tornados were most likely to occur. We always knew not to start worrying until/if/when the sky started turning green.

Do tornado drills in the house, and let her be part of the "solution"....ask her "Okay - if we hear the sirens, what do we do? Right, we go to the basement. Then what? Check the batteries and turn on the radio, right? Then what?" Maybe it'll help set her mind at ease if she knows what to do.

Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Toledo on

Im 24 and STILL terrified of storms/tornados! haha...

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P.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I was right where you are! My son was terrified of tornados when he was 6. He still is scared of them (he's 8 now), but he is not like he was. I think you get a game plan set, you develop a little tordado bag, with radio or tv with batteries, (Although, I think watching the weather on tv makes it seem so much worse then it is some times), flashlight, blankets, maybe a special book to read or game to play. Anything to help during that time. Discuss with her where you will go and what you will do if a warning comes again. I think by addressing my sons fears ahead of time so he knew we had a plan and I knew what I was talking about, helped alot. Also, I think several time the warning came and we did not get much of a storm helped also. He figured out that not every siren meant a tornado. He still get nervious, but I think he is reassured that I have a set plan (even if we are in a car, he knows I have a plan) it helped alot!

Good luck, I know it is very difficult to deal with. You can't rationalize a true fear, so just talking/explaining usually will not work. But I think by staying calm and having a game plan your daughter will see and feel your control of the situation.

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S.M.

answers from Toledo on

my daughter is going through the same thing...it all started about a year ago when she watched a movie on tornados with her father - which i've thanked him repeadetly for. but since she's been in school with the tornado drills and knows what to do if there actually is a tornado, she's gotten a lot better about. mainly talking to her about it has helped the most to explain that tornados do not come with every storm...its also helped that when a storm is starting to come in i'll show her that the clouds are just moving fast, not in a circle so there is nothing to worry about...she still will ask about them, but she doesn't have the nightmares or get scared by them.

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D.K.

answers from Cleveland on

I was the same way when I was younger. I was so scared that a tornado was going to come and I wouldn't be home with my mom. She was my security during storms and I felt she was the only one who could protect me.

To this day, I still have a fear of tornados. If there is a bad storm, I am nervous that it will turn into a tornado.

I know that is not what you probably wanted to hear, but every child is different. My mom would always assure me that we were safe. There is nothing different that she could have done for me to get over my fear. Your daughter may just outgrow it, or she may not. Just don't brush it off when she is afraid. It could make her fear even worse.

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A.J.

answers from Cincinnati on

I saw a segment on FOX 19 this morning about this very thing. I am not sure if FOX 19 has posted this on their website but check it out. They gave some advice on how to educate and handle children who freak out during storms. Good luck! Sorry I do not have more info to give you as i caught the tail end of the segment.

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

If it were my child, I would probably go to the library and get some books on tornadoes. That way she can see exactly what they are. Right now, all she really knows is that they're dangerous enough to make you go into a basement and hide from it, and that they come during storms. She may still be a little scared, but atleast she'll have an understanding of them. I can remember when I was really little and my family had to quickly pack up at the beach because a tornado warning had been issued close to our town and it was headed our way. The whole place was chaos and it was very scary. I was frightened of them also, and a few years later when I was in 2nd grade I decided to do my science project on them. Once that was over, I don't really remember being as afraid of them. I was still afraid, but I don't remember having an obsessiveness of the fear anymore.

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G.M.

answers from Columbus on

J., my son is 18 now but he had this fear as a child. It was awful, he would be petrified, and I couldn't console him. I tried all approachs, then when he was 8 or 9, we had a tornado run right down the road from us. We had to have neighbors kids stay the night and electric towers were destroyed and we drove around and looked at it all, discussed how we were protected by God or Angels, we really didn't care but we were safe. This helped him get past the fear, I don't know why or how but from that storm on we just went to the basement and played board games or anything to keep our minds off of the storm and he was fine. I feel for your daughter, it's terrible to be that scared, I pray you find a way to help her through it. Good luck!!

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi J.!

I have a soft spot in my heart for your daughter because I too, am terrified of tornados. Phobic really. The things that help me the most and helped me the most when I was young were:

First, is something my mom used to say to me. "I haven't let anything happen to you yet & I will make sure nothing does." It gave me a sense of security that Mommy is watching & ready.

Second, let her feel safe. If there is a bad storm coming through, let her go in the basement or sit in the bathroom with her favorite doll or toy. Let her know it's the safe place & she's OK. I know I needed (and still do) to have a sense of control.

Finally what helped me was knowledge. Tons and tons of knowledge about the topic. How to look at the radar maps. The darker the color the worse it is. That way if just a rain shower or run of the mill storm is coming through you can show her, "look, it's only yellow rain or it's just a little orange storm." Help teach her watches & warnings and the differences between them. Let her know, if she doesn't already, what county she is in so she can see for herself.

I hope this helps. If you believe in past lives, such as myself, it could be a past life related experience that has her scared. Something to think about. If you don't believe, then she may have seen things on TV about tornados & that scared her. Or even a combo of the two.

Good luck J.. Hugs for your little girl too...

A.

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

The library has several good books about tornados and several movies about them. Someone when the sirens went off told her a horror stories about them and this is the result. My sister-in-law has an extremely over concern about them and passed it on to her children. They were totally amazed about my attitude and reaction to tornado watches, warnings, and the sirens.
I lived in Lake Country IN for the first 28 years of my life, in Marion County for the next 22 and now in Hendricks County. I have been through tornados all of my life and seen the destruction they can and will cause. Take her outside to watch clouds and how they move. Teach her about the greenish sky that announces the reality of one in the area, let her know about the rain, hail, stillness, and the wind sounding like a train engine if there is one in the area. React with common sense to the warnings but do not be hasty, nervous, etc., yourself. Make the time in the basement or other sheltered area fun. Let her make melted crayon pictures, play games, tell stories, etc., and act normally yourself. This goes further to laying her absolute terror to rest than anything else can do.

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son, 6 y/o, worries about A LOT of things. He is ok with thunder and lighting, but doesn't like tornadoes, or the lights going out. Last night he had a crying fit when lighting came "an inch from hitting his window" and it made the lights flicker. It really wasn't that close at all, the storm was still pretty far off, but the lights did flicker with it.
We have to go as far as not watching the weather in the same room as him if there are even slight storms in the forecast because he too will get on his tornado kick--How bad are the winds going to be? How many trees might we lose? What does it sound like again? Can we read my tornado book (NEVER read it around stormy days lol) He remembers the big wind storm from last Sept. still. He was actually at Kings Island with his Dad and they had to close down all the rides and such. But as soon as the wind starts to blow he starts thinking it's going to be that bad all over again.
Each time I educate as much as I can, reminding him that it is safe and what we would do if things got bad and so on. I also try to distract him. Yesterday I had him roller blade in the basement to feel better--he feels safe down there in a storm and he was busy doing something fun. He also can't hear as much of what is going on outside down there. It worked. We only had 10 minutes of tears right after the lights flickered the once.

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R.M.

answers from Detroit on

Thank you for asking this question!!! My son is 5 1/2, and has the same phobia! It started 2 weeks ago when around April 30th, the Tornado Warning Alarm Drill went off at noon.
He's so bad, he WILL NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE to play outside. He won't even step out on the porch. I have talked to him about this, there's no tornadoes in Michigan, to no avail. What helped you? Any suggestions?

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would explain to her about the warning system on the TV news, and that you will take precautions when necessary.
then, when it storms, go by what the weathermen say.
Beyond that I would ignore it.

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