I have been bathing my little girl in the tub since she was about 3 months old - i just find it easier than those baby tubs. I would always sit her in, then lay her down (in shallow water), wash her, then let her sit up and splash around/play. Well last Thursday we had a terrible evening - she wouldn't eat her dinner and I got terribly frustrated and she was overtired and crying by the time we got to the bath, plus I was in a very stressed out state rather than my usual cheerful self. WHen I went to lay her down, she looked at me and started crying and turned over and tried to crawl out of the tub. I quickly finished washing her (a mistake, I probably should have removed her right away but who knew) and got her out. SInce then, the last 4 nights she's fine until I try to sit her down (I haven't tried to lay her down again) in the water, then she starts screaming and clinging to me to get out. I feel so awful, and I haven't been able to wash her properly. Most of all, I don't want her to be afraid of water, or the bath. SHe doesn't seem to be afraid of the water itself, as she doesn't start crying until I sit her down. Tonight we tried the kitchen sink as my mother thought she might feel better there but it was the same drill. I've tried a whole flock of new rubber duckies with no luck. Tomorrow I was thinking I would get in the tub with her and give that a try. Any advice is appreciated, I feel so terrible that I might have caused this frightened reaction and would love suggestions on how to get her past this. I feel like such a bad mother!
Thank you all for the great responses. I felt so much better hearing others had been through the same thing. I did get in the bath with her and didn't try to sit her down - just let her stand until she WANTED to sit down and play with the toys. I bathed with her for three nights, no problem, then put her back in by herself the fourth night and she was fine! Today she went in the little plastic pool in our yard for the first time and loved it too! So thanks everyone for the advice and even more just for the moral boost.
Try getting in the tub with her. When we moved my daughter from the infant tub to the big tub she was a little afraid because of the size - I got in with her for a couple of nights and then she was fine.
I do not have much to say about getting her over the fear besides putting some bright colorful water toys in..but you really should think about not bathing her every night, IMHO a baby does not get very dirty and it really dries out their skin. If you went to just a few times a week and not every night she might start enjoying it again.
But some water toys and maybe a wash cloth puppet could help her start liking it again.
PS I had my sone right after I turned 39..tired has a whole new meaning
Hi J.,
I also have a 9 month old and I have a 3 year old. Both my kids got to a point that I couldn't lay them down. I just changed the way I did bath time. I would wash there hair first, let them play then I would finish. I wash her hair sitting up. I get a cup and give her one too. It's quick then they could just play the rest on the time. This is also the age that they find fear. Good luck with everything. I hope that this helped.
It's funny to hear someone else describe this, because it's EXACTLY what my daughter went through at that very same age a few months ago. She acted completely terrified like she'd almost drowned there the day before or something. (Which she hadn't of course, but she was completely hysterical nonetheless. Absolutely petrified, as a matter of fact.) I did some research, found out it's normal and kept offering her a bath at her normal time every night as usual. I got a few new interesting bath toys for her that she'd never seen before and played with them in front of her to peak her interest as the tub filled and then I got in with her for a few nights. She was fine with this, but started the hysterics again when I tried to bath her solo a few nights later. It took a few nights of leaning over the tub and singing and playing with her toys while she watched, and she'd be having the time of her life dipping her hands in the water from the outside, but she would not let me submerge her to sit in the water at all. This also went on for a night or two, and finally, I sat her down in the tub with her protesting, but not hysterical like before. I glossed over the protests with singing, splashing, laughing and playing and at some point during the bath, she came around and stopped the behavior all together. When her toes hit the water, she fussed and kicked but I completely ignored the fussing, told her she was fine, mommie was there, and kept splashing, playing, singing & laughing like it was nothing. I'd say there was probably about a week and a half to two weeks of this phase total start to finish. Thankfully, it resolved itself and she LOVES her bath again. Count on having a night or two where you just run the water and stand outside the tub with her playing over the side patiently while trying to re-interest her in the bath. I'd recommend that you also not try to dunk, lay her down or wash her hair for those few nights that you're trying this as well. Use a washcloth to rinse her hair without getting her face wet and that should help too.
Hang in there & good luck!
Don't make her sit down. Get a bath mat or some non slip stickers for the tub, and let her stand and hold onto the edge of the tub while you bathe her. If she's really upset after bathing, get her out. Also - unless she's really getting dirty - playing outside or getting into something gross - she probably doesn't need a daily bath.
Hi there!
It's definitely nothing you are doing wrong so don't blame yourself!!! They all go through this stage...my youngest son just went through it at about the same exact age so I researched online and found that it's very common at that age. She will get over it, it doesn't take too long actually. Before you know it she will be loving the tubby again. I got a fun bubble maker for the tub and that seemed to take my son's mind off being scared too. You can get them at wal-mart and they are inexpensive, in the baby section. Good luck and it will faze out like most stages they go through!!
My 2 year old goes through this every few months for a few nights. Definitely don't blame yourself! I just keep bathing her, but keep it brief if she's upset. We also sing songs which is a fun association with the tub. Sounds like it will be a phase- try not to worry!
My son went through this at almost exactly the same age. We had no idea what caused it. It is not the best alternative, but we just stopped pushing it for a while and bathed him standing holding onto the side. He was willing to do that but didn't want to sit down. Eventually he got over it and sat back down. It never impacted him in regards to other water -- he loves to swim!
J.,
What does she want to do, just stand? Let her do that for a while, don't put much water in there. After a while, she'll probably want to sit down on her own. She'll get tired of standing. I think your idea of getting in the tub with her is a good one. Try that for a while; then she'll probably go back to liking it ok by herself. I'd just skip the lying her down part...maybe that's scary to her and now she has to find out, probably with a little time, that you are not going to lie her down. It might take a little while for her to trust that, but she will, before you know it. You are not a bad mom...at all. This shall pass before you know it...It's one of the little problems, believe me.
Experienced mom of 3 now grown girls
Hi J.,
I don't think that you should worry. When we transitioned from the kitchen sink (it was big and she was 2 1/2) to the tub, our daughter was not happy. We tried everything--she would literally try to get out of the tub. Bath time happens to be daddy time, so dear husband was starting to get irritated and dread this bonding time with his daughter. One night I got into the tub with her. We bathed together, I just didn't do my hair. I washed all of my body parts--and hers--talking about it and playing at the same time. She was happy as a clam. Not only have we not had any problems since, we can't get her out of the tub now, and she wants to be in it several times a day!
Dear J.
That what our daughter does she put her banisuit ont and she sit in the bath tub with our grand daughter and they have fun she play with her.Let us know how you gonna make out.
Try a bubble bath. Too many and she's at a risk for UTI, but if it'll get her in the tub...
I think getting in the tub with her is a great idea. It will reassure her that nothing bad will happen. After all, if Mommy is in there, how bad can it be? I did that when my son was a baby. He hated gatting a bath and screamed and cried all the way through. After I sat in the tub with him a few times, I din't have any more trouble.
