Age Difference Too Great?

My sons are 6 years apart, and they have a "normal" sibling relationship--filled with love, anger, togetherness and arguments. They have a very good relationship and I wouldn't have it any other way.

i am the oldest of 3. i am 35 i have a brother who is 28 and a brother that is 22. We are all extremely close and alway have been. Age is not a factor. I now have a son who is 9 and my daughter is 14 months, i really thought that the age might be factor but they absolutely love each and play together all the time. if fact my son is very helpful. its great! i say do what heart tells you to.

There are lots of people that have children far apart in age. I am 25 as well and had my first daughter very young. When my husband I decided that it was time for another child she was 6 years old. Her and my son get along great; she loves to me a mini mommy and he loves his big sis. If you feel that you're ready to have another child go for it.

The age difference will be GREAT! I have two step daughters that were 10 and 12 when my son was born and I LOVED having older kids around. I don't think it's fair to put the work load on the older kids but it was nice when we were driving around town to have someone in the backseat to hold the bottle or give him back his pacifier when he was screaming. And my step daughters absolutely LOVED having a little baby around. They would always ask to feed him and hold him. The younger one would lay on the floor next to him and fall asleep with him. It was ADORABLE! It will bring out so much good in your girls as long as it is not their responsibitlity to help but their choice. My son is now 2 and a half and the girls still have tons of fun with him. And he LOVES having big sisters. Anytime they come over he is just so excited to play with them. He could care less about me when they are around. I think the age difference will be something you are grateful for. Go for it! S.

I am 9 years older than one brother and 11 years older than my other brother. I was so excited as a child about having younger siblings that I really took care of them quite a bit from newborn to adulthood. I am not saying that it was all roses-lol but I can honestly say my brothers are still my best friends. My youngest brother has moved several hours away by plane but we still talk every week and plan holidays together. My other brother is married with kids as well and we always arrange family events together a few times a month. I think if you have a great family than the age difference really doesn't matter.

Hi there, I'm a mother of two. 4 and 10 are the ages of my children. My daughter was six when our son was born. A real live baby doll for her. She has always been like a mother hen and protects him fiercely from the world. It's been a really mellow time. I've enjoyed it tremendously. I would say that both my kids really had little competition,and were more like only children maybe in some ways. They both got a lot of nurturing. I would recommend it. Of course later in life it may be harder, but then again when your children grow up and move away. you'll still have one at home. Maybe your empty nest will be an easier transition?

I am a 40 year old, part time CMT. I have a 13 year old, 10 year old and 2 year old. Although their relationship is different than if they had been closer in age, the bond the older two have with the youngest one is so strong. They took the role of little mommy, baby sitter, and in the past two years have learned patients, responsibility, and basically how to care for another human being. All of which I get high compliments on when we are out in public and others see how they interact with my 2 year old son. On the other hand, I am 40 years old and am exhausted when my head hits the pillow at night. But as I doze off, I thank God that I have had one last chance to experience the little miracle that my 2 year old is to me! In my eyes the age difference between the kids haven't been an issue at all.

Hi M.,
My biological son was 6yrs old when we adopted his little brother (at birth) My 6yr old loves being a big brother and has always helped out. Now that they are 10 and 4 they love playing games together. Also my best friend has custody of her nephew who is now 18 And they just had a little girl. I don't really think age is an issue. As long as you make special time for each child.

I have three wonderful boys! Ages are 14, 10 and 2. The 2 year old has been a true blessing to our family and the two older boys are wonderful with the baby. I feel that my two older boys have really matured with having to help with the baby. My husband and I are very careful not to push to much responsibility on them but they have taken to really helping out with baby brother. Actually they have been asking when we are going to have another baby and they are requesting a baby sister this time.
A little about me:
I am 36 years old. I have 3 wonderful boys and a husband that is every womans dream. I work full time and so does hubby.

No, not at all. I am 35 and my oldest brother is 9 years older than i am (my sister is 6 years older and my second brother is 5 years older.). When I was a kid, he always looked after me, he was a hero in my life. Even now we are close and we get together monthly to play board games with our spouses and families. We BBQ in the summer and have a great relationship. When he had children, they were my children in a way too. I had the relationship with them that their father had with me. They are 17 and 15 now and have that relationship with my sons, 9 and 4. I love having that age difference, it was a good thing for me. With all of my siblings the age difference was not a problem, they protected me and helped me as i was growing up. They understood things that my parents were too old to understand and gave me advice that i took to heart. go for it, have another child, the age difference won't be a negative thing unless you treat it that way. Your daughters will follow your lead. Good luck.

I teach at a middle school in SF and we have lots of parents with a 12 year old and also an infant or toddlers. Whatever you decide you would not be alone.

Hi M.. I too have kids 10 months apart. I also have two that are 6 years apart. On the positive side, it's nice because the older kids can help more and they are more independent so there is more time to dedicate to the new baby. There is also the posibility of having an older sibling babysit as they get older, at least once in awhile. On the negative side, it's like starting all over again because the new baby doesn't have someone close to his age to play with. The other negative is that as they get older, the older ones will have their interests and you will still have a preschoolers interests so it's dividing time between places. Not to mention driving to different schools to get kids to and from each day. It can add up to a lot of driving time to different things to make sure each one gets what they need - but that can be with kids that are close in age too. Just because they are close in age doesn't mean they will have the same interests.

Considering I have six kids, we have all kinds of age differences. From 10 months up to 13 years. The three older kids help out with the younger ones - read to them, play with them, change diapers, etc. Each of the older kids have stories they love to tell people about their experiences with their younger siblings.

for the longest time i kept telling everybody "i'm done". i'm married and worked full time while raising my son who is 19 now. my son was active-and-a-half even all the way up to now. by the time we were going to try again, i did the math and there was no way i could with one going to college and the other in kindergarten. so we waited and after a miscarriage, 17 years later - a girl. this time i am staying at home and enjoying watching her grow up. she is a blessing and keeps me occupied from missing my oldest away at college. i'm practically starting all over again, but its worth it.

Hi M.,
I don't think it's that big of a difference. The two you have now will love having a baby around. I have five beautiful girls and their ages are 23,21,17,12 and I was just blessed again with a new baby girl and she is now 9 months old and I love every min. of being a new mom again. My younger sister had one girl and when her daughter was 9 she had a son and he is 2 now and her third child is a 5 month old boy. It is hard starting all over again at first but the blessing are many. Another child to love and to love you back is always a blessing.
Good Luck and God Bless

Hi there,

We have 5 girls ages 21,18,12,8,& 6 and there aren't any problems. Actually it's been great having built-in sitters! LOL But seriously, the younger ones love having older sisters to go to, and the older ones thought it was cool having really little sisters.

I have to say that the cuddliest "pairing" of siblings in my house is the one between my 9 year old son, and his 17 month-old brother. Second to that, would be the relationship between my 7 year old daughter, and the same lucky toddler. (My 5 year old son, also adores his brother, but his patience with the toddler years is somewhat shorter than that of his older siblings.) In our house (and since we homeschool, there may be some social differences here, I dunno), all the kids play together, and yes, they bug each other, and tell each other to get lost from time to time. But EVERYBODY adores the baby, even now that he's a stubborn, crafty, kamikaze toddler. The other factor, in our case, that may have contributed to the very close relationship between the older kids and the baby is the fact that the baby was born at home, with the older sibs present for the birth. From the time of my pregnancy onward, the sibs always felt like this was "OUR" baby. They had the advantage of falling in love with the baby right in those opening minutes of his life. So, all that to say, go for it! Initially, my daughter (age 6 when the baby was born) took the lead in becoming "little mommy", and made herself a baby expert. You may discover that you have two "little mommies" right off the bat, particularly if they are helped to bond with the baby during your pregnancy. Enlist them to sing lullabies, pick out clothes, refill the diaper supply, find the dropped tube of diaper ointment, and later, to "show your brother a picture book while I get dinner ready", or "sit on the floor and hold your brother while I answer the phone" For us, the time of pregnancy and early baby days was a great time to talk about the facts of life, human development, healthy pregnancy(laying the foundation for great grandkids someday), and then a wonderful firsthand education in birth, baby care and breastfeeding. The sibling relationship is the longest relationship we'll ever have in life, and the more, the better. No gift will ever outlast a sibling.

Wishing you many blessings as your family expands!
-Val

Hi M.,
I have three children. 18, 10, 9. I have a wide spread due to an etopic preg. My 18 yr says that her brother and sister we fun for awhile. Now, she says that they were the best birthcontrol for her. She does not want to go out and have kids until she about 25 yrs old. They fight due to the age differences. The 18 yr old does not have the patients, she of course also thinks she knows it all. Just remember that no favortism is the best method. Love them all the same. You will here your not preg. again are you. Reminding them that they will enjoy the baby as much as you do and you will continue to love them same. Yes the baby will take more time from you at first but, there will always be time for them. Having my 18 yr old getting diapers wipes, warming up bottles for the two your ones helped at first. She felt involved, until she went back to just wanting me to herself. Then I knew it was time for some personnel time just for her and I. Just enjoy.

My little sister and I are 5 years apart. While we were growing up, she annoyed me to no end. However, I was able to practice shaving on her before I had the courage to shave myself, I learned to braid her hair - then mine, and I always had someone to try new (read that stupid) things with. I love my sister to death, she is the nicest person I have ever met. I cannot imagine my life without her. Was it all peaches and cream growing up? No. She was quite a bit younger than me, but I was able to pretend she was a doll (and changed her many times a day while until she was about 3 and told me to stop and bit me)! I think if you and your husband are ready, then the rest will all work out. As many people say, there is no right time to have a baby.

I have two sons who are seven years apart and it has been a great experience. We had lots of time with our first son, and were able to spend lots of time doing things my younger son liked to do while his older brother was in school.

Sometimes when we went on outings, the age difference came into play (going on different rides at the fair or Disneyland, or different ends of the pool)) and my husband and I would have to take each boy to do different things, but eventually the younger boy caught up and really enjoyed having his big brother to show him things and do things with him. There were issues like teasing for a while, but that phase passed also.

They are now 14 and 21 and are so close. My younger son looks up to my older, and loves to be with him. We think it worked out great.

P.S. My younger sister and I are ten years apart and she is one of my best and closest friends.

Dear M.,
It is so great that you're thinking about another baby! I have 16 year old daughter and 8 year old son. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to have my son 8 years leter after I had my daughter. She was such a great help, and when she was 12, she became a free babysiiter. I'm sure, it'll be different, when you have your new baby, but is not going to be as difficult as it was when you had two little girls at one time...
Oh, I have a formula for the sex of the baby. If you'd like to use it, let me know... I counted my little boy...
Sincerely.
J.

Hi M.,
My husband and I have two 15 yr olds, and a 2 1/2 yr.old little girl. We didnt necessarily want them that far apart but we had a hard time getting pregnant and so here we are and she is so wonderful! She has been the best gift for all of us. I wont say that there havent been challenging times, but she is everyones little girl. For the older kids, they get to see how much work it is and they help out with her all the time. She has a very special relationship with each of them. We have a boy and a girl that are older. It just works out! Just be prepared that you might not get that little boy! I think that if you want another child, go for it.... They are always such a miracle and a blessing! I wouldnt do it any different if I had the chance.
Good Luck,
L.

There is 14 years between me and my sister and 15 years between me and my brother. My parents divorced and then had their respective kids years later. I have to say that even though we did not grow up together I am very close with both of them. I feel that I have a unique relationship with each of them that I wouldn't trade for the world. I don't think that any age difference is too much or to little, as people we create each relationship differently. I am now 38 any my siblings are 24 and 25 and I feel that my relationships with them couldn't be better.

S.

HA! Age difference too great? No way!!

My children are 10 years apart, same dad -- a 5-year-old girl and a 15-year-old boy. They ADORE each other, and have a very special relationship. And, my son has learned so much patience and wisdom from his littler sister, he is going to be a great dad one day. His little sister has a 'big guy' in the house in her corner, which she needs as I'm a single mom.

There is NO SUCH THING as having a child too late...go for it!

Hi M.... speaking from experience of the 7 to 8 year age span between children, I had a second child when my first was 7years old, and she was like another mother. She pitched right in changing diapers and everything. So you'd have double the help! The only thing is, it seems like the baby grows up too fast,because he or she learns alot from the older siblings. Now my oldest daughter has 3 children of her own, the first 2 less than 18 months apart, and the 3rd, 6&1/2 years difference, so he is learning things from a 10 year old and a 8& a1/2 year old. The 2 oldest love and adore their baby brother and are big helps. So don't worry about the age difference,things will be fine. Hope this helps. CJ

For what it's worth-
I have a brother 4 yrs older and another who is 6 yrs older. My brothers and I remain extremely close. In fact, I worked FOR my brother (6 yrs older) for 8 yrs in the Silicon Valley. Our personalities were very much in line with oneanother. Now I enjoy him being the "next leader" in our family as our parents age. He has been fortuate enuf to do well in life (financially and personnally) and he is for certain, a terrific mentor for me. My other brother (4 yrs older) is just as wonderful but our personalities are a bit different so I rely more on my older brother for perspective on my topics.

The age difference for us was ideal (in my observation). They were old enough to teach and include me in LOTS of their activities as we grew up. I learned and respected them and as a result it felt mutual. I found that it was difficult to find a husband with qualities that came anywhere close to those of my brothers. Alas, I did find that special someone.

I'd say go for it. You'll have 2 terrific extra helping hands this time around. It'll be a great experience for your girls to appreciate and respect all that Motherhood presents...on a full time basis. Could be just the right antidote for the "teenage" years!

Best wishes for you and your decision.
-P

Hi M.,
I have 2 brothers who are 11 and 13 years older than I am. Sometimes I think I had the ideal situation! I really grew up as an only child, and had all my parents' attention. I was perfectly happy and not lonely. Now, as an adult, I am very close to my brothers and am so glad they are in my life. I guess I kind of got to know them later in life. So I think whatever you decide will be just fine for your kids. The real question is you and whether you want to "start over" by bringing a new baby into your life. But the great part is, you are so young!! I just turned 41 and although I'm happy with my 2 boys, it would have been nice to have the option. I would go with your heart. Also it always seems to me like having a new baby with older siblings would be so much easier since they are in school (my boys are 2 yrs apart).

I have an older son that is almost 6 years older than my middle son. My oldest is now ten my middle is 4 and my youngest is 3. I found when I had my second child and my oldest was 6 years old, he was a great help. He loved to hold the baby and get diapers and feed him a bottle (once I was done nursing) he played with his brother and still does. I was also very worried about the age difference, but it is actually great! They play together and my middle son really looks up to his big brother and my oldest looks out for his younger syblings. I think you should go for it, if you want another baby, I think you will be plesantly surprised how much your older children will pitch in without even being asked, especially because they are girls. I have two little sisters that are 10 and 12 years younger than me and I remember taking care of them and I loved it.
Good luck to you,
A.

I have two girls that are 11 months apart. They are 4 and 5 right now. I also have a 12 year old girl. Eventhough they fight like sisters will, I am amazed at how close they all are. The little girls look up to their sister and their older sister really has learned to be a responsible and caring child from this experience. Do they have things in common? No, not exactly. But I see how having a younger sisters has allowed for my older one to slow down growing up. She still enjoys being a child herself and I think it allows for her to give herself permission. There is so much peer pressure out there and what a great reason to stay away from it as long as you can and enjoy the great things that these kids share with one another. Good luck,

Hi M.
I am the grandmother of three children, and the age different is just as you are speaking of. The 2 girls are the oldest and the master of the three is the youngest and they are all doing great, father, mother, 2 daughters and 1 son. GO FOR IT..
Keep us updated.

Good Health to you..

R.

My sister and I are 7 years apart. At first it was really hard for me to accept her, I was used to being the only child, but then she became more or less like my toy doll that I could dress up and play with. The one thing that was really hard was we never really contected until recently. Mostly becuase as I was becoming uninterested in things she was just starting to find them out. I can say that we really didn't become close until about 3 years ago, but ever since then it has been really great. If you really want another baby go for it. Since your older 2 have each other already it might not be so h*** o* them.

I'm a mother of four...My older daughters were 9 & 7 when my son was born, then just 2 wks. ago I had my last daughter (my son is now 14 months)...the older girls LOVE the babies. The enjoy helping, and it is nice to have them help entertain and soothe. Go for it.

Hello M., My oldest was 13 and my second child was 10 both boys at the time when I had my daughter Deziray. I thought the many years in between would be crazy but it turned out great, Both my boys adore her, they have play time with her, read to her, walk the dog her they love to teach her new things, Her dad was in a accident and now he is in a care facility so having the boys much older has really helped, they help so much and they love it. I think the age gap is not a problem as long as you keep them all close , always doing things together.... Good luck.

Hi M.. We have 4 kids ages 13B,11G,7G,6B, so you can see that there are many sibling relations with different age spans. At times each pair has been closer or farther apart. Today, the boys (7yrs apart) are quite close ... often playing together after school by wrestling, hide and seek, throwing ball, trampoline. As a Mom I have really enjoyed seeing the older ones learn how to be role models with the younger ones whilst maintaining their playfulness.
My advice...go for it, but also ask yourself if you would be willing to go for 4 so they are in "pairs". PS I work full time as well, it can be done :)

My children are grown but I had my first child at 19 and second at 21, both boys. Then I adopted a little girl when I was 28 so there is 6 year difference between my youngest boy and my daughter.
The boys loved her and there wasn't any jealousy. She grew up having two big brothers who she adores.
I don't think the age difference is a problem. You will enjoy your new baby even more and your two daughters will seem really grown up in comparison.
Good luck

We have three boys, ages 7, 12, and 17. They do interact, although there are lots of differences in what they like to do since they are about 5 years about each way (oldest two are 5 1/2 years apart, younger two a little over 4 years apart). It is nice to have older ones who can really help with caring for your younger ones, reading to them when they are toddlers and later babysitting. The challenge is to find things you can all do as a family. We find camping to be a good all-family activity, and my husband and I take turns doing the more challenging hikes with the older ones while the other does something easier with the younger one.

I am glad you are prepared to have another baby of either sex, because though we would have loved for our third to be the girl we don't have, we ended up with another boy. Each boy has his own personality and we are happy with all three.

I have 3 boys. My boys are ages 6, 7, and 15. My oldest boy loves having little brothers because it lets him have a reason to play like a kid again without looking goofy. I think they would do fine with the age difference.

I just had a baby boy on 12.28.07. My daugther is turning 11 on 2.11. of this year. She loves her brother and is the biggest help. She even jokes that she does not need to play with dolls now because she has one. We just make sure that she gets special time with us to make the adjustment of going from only child to sister easier and we include her in everything for the baby. We encourage her to brag about her brother or tell stories before we do and insited that she be the first person in the hospital to hold him after my husband and I (she got to fight of the grandmas). I think that as long as your prepared and you include your other 2 kids in the process that there is no right or wrong age difference between kids. Good luck

My brother and I are 8 years apart, and it was hard. I wouldn't change it for the world now though. We are closer than ever. Their were issues, the fact I was 16 and he was 8 and my folks thought they had a built in baby sitter. Me going to school and he got to spend the day at the movies with mom, when he was little. But now...he is my best friend, and also he is the guardian for my kids should anything happen to us. I say go for it!!!!

No I am a mother of 5 and my kids ages are 25, 23, 14,5yr.old and a 2 year old. I enjoy the help from the older kids remember age is just a number and there is always a nice time for a baby don't let that distract you if you if you really want a baby especially a boy I have 2 boys. I noticed you said you and your husband work full-time may I ask you if you will have time for another baby cause let me tell you it is alot of work.

What a great time to have a new babt for you and for the girls. They are at the age where they will bond very strongly with the baby..perfect time if you are gonna do it at all..NOW is when..and they are old enough to help too,l and they will thrive on being the 'best' one with him or her. Also it teaches them to be more patient and sharing and compassionate. Just remember, if you get pregnant to let them know you are not feeling as energetic as before so they will need to pamper you a bit, it will make them feel like they are included from the start so it is 'our baby' not mom's baby only. sacrifice is a great teacher.
Gen

My oldest son is 20. I have a two year old boy and a four year old boy.
Go for it!!!!!!
Age is a ...... a number.
Siblings, no matter what age, are ...forever.

Hi M.,

My siblings are 6 and 9 years older than I. My relationship with them was just different from most sibling relationships. I never felt like an only child, but looking back I was very much like an only child. My siblings were both in college when I went into 7th grade. I wouldn't hesitate to have an other child if that is all you are concerned about. My daughter is 10 years younger than her step-sister and they have a very sweet bond.

I recently had a baby, and her siblings are 5 and 7 years older. I can honestly say that it was the best decision ever and the older kids are wonderful to their baby sister. We have had almost no issues so far with rivalry or jealousy. I had thought that I was not going to have any more children after the first 2, and I am so grateful that I had her.

I am 8 almost 9 years older than my little sister. When she was born. When my mom was pregnate I was so exited I loved feeling the baby is my moms tummy. I also have a younger brother that is 5 years older than my sister we would try to guess what sex the baby was. When my sister was born I mother hened her to death. I got to help out a lot. I loved it. AS I got to be a teenager it got harder I lived with other family for personal reasons, that made our relationship very distend. For a while she pretended that she only had a brother. That was hard. Now that she is a sinor in high school and I am back in the picture, its wonderfull we can have are girl talks and keep our secrets that sisters have, and all the good stuff.

If you really want another one go for it. Let the girls you already have help with things, buying baby stuff, picking out the name, planning for a shower. They may even injoy toing to drs appts with you and seeing an ultrasound or two with you. When the baby is born they can help alot then to. Just remember that they are still kids themself and don't expect them to everything. The age thing is not a bad thing as long as you don't let them feel left out. Its all in how you do things.

Good luck

I was so very excited when I was 7 and a half and my baby brother was born. I helped out alot with him and loved it. I think you will be fine. If anything, the baby will likely have more attention that you dreamed of.

Your third child will essentially be an only child. My brother was born when I was 7 and by the time I was 18 (he was 11) I had moved out. When our family gets together he remembers things he did with my parents but not me. We don't remember happy times as a family, "remember when dad did such and such?" I remember being a teenager and always having to be quiet so my younger brother could sleep, etc. And your daughters will lose you when you're immersed in the first year of your new baby. I think a gap, if it can be avoided, is not a positive thing - but it probably depends on the family.

HI M.,
As someone coming from a similar situation growing up ( I am 29 now) (I was born on my brother's 12th B-day & my sister is 9 years older than me) I see pros & cons to the situation.
I pretty much grew up as an only child in the house. This had it's good & bad. I didn't have siblings that were young enough to have sibling bickering with but they both did seem to resent me as the baby...
The pros were that when my parents divorced at my age of 10 & I lived until I went away to college with my Mom; I was able to develop a deeper relationship with my Mom that I never would have experienced with other siblings in the home. To this day she & I are very close. I was also allowed to invite a friend to most anything to keep me company when we went out or on the weekends so I developed life long friendships with friends that replaced the sibling relationships that weren't being had.
A huge con for me is that I always longed for a bigger family meaning siblings my age & to be accepted by the older siblings I have. It was something to this day that I wish I had & that has affected my view on having an only child.
I am 4 months pregnant now with my first child & this idea of more children is one I go back & forth on due to what I have lived.
Lots to think about but I think the bottom line is that if you feel you have enough room, time, money & love to fit another child in without taking away from the 2 you have in the long run.... do what's in your heart as a mother. My mother calls me her little angel because I was unplanned yet she finds so many reasons in her life that I was brought into it.

M.,

My kids are 16 years apart. Medical complications kept us from having our kids close together but it is a blessing. Our daughters LOVE our son and are even more doting than siblings closer in age. It IS like having two generations of kids tho'. So it's not the same experience as having them close together. I would say that if it feels like there is a person missing at your table then you should seriously think about adding to your family. With the arrival of our son we just knew that everyone was in our family now.

C.

My youngest boy was born two days after my daughter's seventh birthday. (I also had another boy when my daughter was three.) From day one, Kati and Jordan were extremely close. She adored him; she was even there when he was born, and was one of the first to touch him. (My older boy was, in my opinion, a bit too young to attend the birth.) I think you will find that your two kids will dote on their baby brother/sister and that they do not have the rivalry that is typical with siblings closer in age.

Hi M.,

My younger sister and I are 7.5 years apart in age. We never fought at all because we had different toys, different tastes in clothing, different rooms, etc etc. I "played" with her more or less like a living dolly until she was old enough to assert her own will - it IS true that, because of the age difference we were never playmates, but that was never an issue. I went to school, and already had my own friends, and was basically able to take care of my own needs like dressing, bathing, feeding myself and entertaining myself. My mother has told me that she actually really appreciated the age difference as I was able to lend a really good helping hand when she needed it - if she needed to run to the bathroom or take a shower, I was there to keep an eye on the baby for her. I happily babysat for extra money when I was a teenager too. Also, it was far easier for her to explain the whole new baby thing as I already knew where babies came from, what having a sibling would entail, and had none of that "sibling drama" that some children experience when a new baby comes into the home. It was actually VERY easy, says my mother. She did not plan on us being so many years apart, but she had a lot of trouble getting pregnant the second time - she is now glad we were so far apart. I say go for it! Ive known many sets of siblings far apart in age, and you are still very young, so have that baby!

Good luck!

I am a 37 yr old mother of 3 with one on the way. My kids are 11y (boy) 6y (girl) 5y(girl) and one due in July. The age difference tends to depend more on your children not the age. My son gets along with my daughters great for 60% of the time. I believe the saving grace is that my girls are only 14 mos apart and they are the ones that I have the greatest trouble with. They either really get along or they don't. My son only gets upset with his sisters when they don't respect his personal space. You have the two girls older and then a younger child (boy or girl) should be ideal. I would think the girls would love to be your helpers and big sisters to a new sibling. You will have a huge change in your life. Sleeping in will not be the option. Getting in and out of the car at the store will be girls wait while mom gets the baby out. But I think the girls will be a big help and then proud to be more responsible and proud to be big sisters.

I have had 3 children 3 years apart...and my oldest and my youngest are 6 years apart....

they are 1,5, and 7. Even if you had them back to back there would still be a chunck of time between the oldest and the youngest....

go for it.....you will love all the help from the older ones....:

I have a 17 yr boy , 13yr boy and 8yr girl. It actually is a nice age difference. My oldest boy is very protective of his sister and loves her dearly.I do have my moments with the 17yr and 8 yr old but there are more good moments then bad. The only thing I have learned is a lot of patients is needed when they are grouped this far apart. Girls are more mothering so they will help you. My kids are the reverse so it is a little different.

I'm also a mother of two. I had my first son when I was 27 years old and then 13 years later when I was 40 I had my little girl. Age difference really does not matter with kids, they still love, laugh, fight, and even cry as if they were only 2 years apart. It is such a wonderful thing to watch my son with his little sister and see the love and bond that they share. So if this is something that you both want....I say go for it and don't worry about the age difference.

If you want to have another baby, M., have another baby. The older kids will adjust. This is your family! Go for it!

M.,
My sister and I are 7 years apart. I also have a brother 9 years apart and another 12 years apart.
My sister just got married this past Sep. and she asked me to be her matron of honor. In the speech I gave I talked about our distance in age. It really did feel like a huge distance at some points. However, I have nothing but love and care for her. When she was born she was a real play toy for me. I was very helpful to my mom because I had a real interest in babies and nurturing. I do believe I am a better mother because of that experience. I was also more privy to how much work a child entails (good info for a teenage girl)
There was a time when my sister and I seemed to live way seperate lives. I did not know her high school friends much. She dated the man she married all through high school and I did not have a chance to get to know him either.
Within the last year and half, my sister and her husband moved to my home town. I was shocked that she would choose to do this. Within the last year I feel like I have gotten to know my sister as an adult, and I feel so priveledged to have this time with her.
As we get older the age difference gets smaller. I treasure my sister and our relationship and could not imagine my life without her.
A sibling, no matter what the age, is like an extension of you.
So I say go for it! That child will be loved and appreciated just as much as one that is closer in age.
p.s. I was just at a wedding shower this summer and a question was asked of the groom, "What was the most memorable and favorable day you can remember?"
His answer was, "the birth of my little brother" They are 10 years apart.

G. C.

Hi...

My husband has a sister 8 years older and a brother 12 years older....they disliked him as a child...they got babysitting duty...now in their 50's and 60's things are good...I think you are the key...the girls will want to help out some...but after the newness wears off so does the fun...

Good luck,
T.

My Husband is 10 years older than his 2 sisteres. He is so protective of them and closer than I am with my 3 siblings that are all withing 4 years of me (older and younger). It all depends on how your family dynamic is. If you decide to do it just make sure you talk to your girls and get them involved so they dont resent ayour baby. Being older and having responsibilities in helping with the baby will help their nurturing instincts come out. I have talked to a few women who regret deciding against another child when they were strongly considered it... they adjust and accept it, but it always is in their minds as a missing piece of their family.

My husband and his younger brother are 8 years apart and have been very close all their lives.

Hi M., My sisters and I are all 6 years apart. Although I was like a second mom to the youngest with a 12 year age difference, it was fine. The middle sister and myself had some difficulties growing up but I don't necessarily think that was because of the age difference. We are the best of friends now and a lot of people think we are twins. I love the age difference. I have a son that is 3 years old and if I was to have another child I would definately wait until he was 5 or 6. There is something to be said for having children in different phases of life. Good luck!

Hi M. M,

I am a mother of 3 and my childerns age vary from 9,7,and 2. I can tell you from personal experience that age difference might not be a bad thing. My daughter is 9 and she is my biggest helper. My oldest son is 7 and he loves his little brother and is very protective of him. So far haven't noticed any problems.They are all very close. and just think that in a few years your oldest will be able to babysit and you won't have to pay an arm and a leg for childcare. I say that if you want another one go for it

Hi M.,
I can completely understand your concerns about having a large age gap between your children. I have an 8 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. Honestly, in looking at the way these 2 kids relate to each other is wonderful. My daughter is such a big help and my son loves her so much. They are far enough apart that they don't compete for attention and my husband and I make a point to do private activities with each one. For example, once a month, I take my daughter and we go on a "Hot Date" while my husband takes my son somewhere fun. Then, two weeks later, we trade so they both feel special.
The age gap was the best choice I could have made with these two, so I say, if you are ready for another baby and you can make it work, it's worth it to do it all over again.

I had the same worries, my oldest is 14 and my youngest is 2 so there is 12 years between them. I love it. My oldest absolutely LOVES his brother.

My kids are 9, 8,................and 2! And it's wonderful. My older kids (a girl and a boy)are so great with the little one. They keep him busy while I make dinner, play with him when I'm too tired and help out with folding his clothes and getting him anything he needs when my hands are full. I think everyone should plan more years between their kids! ;0)

I am a 57 yr old mom with 6 kids and 9 yrs between the first 4 and the last two. I am so glad that I had two together at the end. As my older ones left my two boys have been such support and friends to each other. They are 14 and 16 now and go to Church dances together and do Scout projects together and of course play video games together. It has been so much easier having two to keep each other company. I know when the first boy was turning 2 that he used to take off and wander. We had some real scares, after his brother was born he stopped doing that. He really needed a friend.
I love big families. The are so supportive to each other and help each other through the rough times. I especially love it now that we all get together for events.
Good luck. Elaine from galt

My oldest and middle child are 16 years apart and my middle child and youngest are 5 years apart. All three get along wonderfully. My oldest is away at college, she has a photo collage on her apartment wall of her little sisters. Now the difference in age really hits me at times, I was only 15 when my oldest daughter was born and I got married when I was 30. I really didn't think about having anymore children, until I got married and my husband who didn't have any kids, naturally wanted some. when I was pregnant with my third and thankfully last child, I was anxious about sleepless nights, colic and all the other baby woes. I thought to myself on many occassions why am I doing this again. But the end result is a beautiful, very active, unpredictable 6 month old baby. My girls all adore eachother (for right now) and the age difference is hardly noticed.