Allowance.. for a 5 and 6 Year Old

My 7yr old gets $2 a week if she completes her chores...keeping her room clean with the bed made, organizing the shoes in the living area, and bringing all the dirty clothes to the laundry room on a weekly basis. I do give her more if she was a really big help that week, but I also do not pay her if she was reminded but failed to complete them.

You can start giving an allowance. There are wonderful banks that have spaces for spend, save, and give. Help your children understand what it is to save for something that they want. Also decide and make it clear what they are to spend money on and what you will spend money on.

Allowance should not be tied to chores. It is something that they get because they are a member of the family and team. If they would like to earn extra money, make a list of things that they can do to earn money. The jobs should not be things that you would normally ask for help for such as dishes or help putting away clothes. Earning money should be for a full job done and again one that they would not normally do. Maybe taking out trash (smaller bags from an office for smaller kids) or vacuums or set the whole table. You can decide. You just do not want kids to feel that they should be paid for everything that they do. A family is a team and each member needs to pitch in because they are a part of that team.

B. Davis

http://www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com
Because nothing is more important than family

Warning: this is very long, but something I feel strongly about! I personally disagree with the previous post about an allowance not being tied to chores. What are you giving it for then? And you're missing some valuable opportunities for teaching. I think it's HOW you approach it that makes all the difference in the world! When my son had just turned 3, he was very upset because his dad was going back to work after paternity leave, and he wanted to keep his dad home, and then he was crying because he wanted to go to work with him. I'd been looking for a way to make him feel big and special since we'd just had a baby, so I saw my opportunity and grabbed it! I told him that daddy's job was there, and I understood he wanted to go to work and "buy money" (his words) too, but that I needed help here, especially with the new baby. I said "I tell you what...you want to go to work and buy money, and I am very tired and need a lot of help...would you like to work here and help me out, and I will give you money?" He thought that was awesome.
He's nearly 4 and it's evolved into a great routine. Some people would say he is too young, or too young to understand, but they are wrong! He can explain it all to you (and did, to my family and best friends), so he gets it just fine. Our system is this: he has a bank that we got from Mardels called the giving bank: it's a single bank with 3 separate sections (little buildings, decorated with stickers-a church, a bank, a store). In our family, 10% of everything we get goes to church as tithes, 10% of everything goes to savings, and you can do what you want with the other 80%. Joseph, at 3, has daily and weekly "chores" (but we don't call them that!) that are basically as follows: pick up his toys and laundry (and white clothes go in the white bag, colored clothes go in the colored bag), feed his cat 1 scoop a day, play nicely with his baby brother and help me if I need it, and go to bed and eat meals without a fight. Weekly, he swiffers (it's not the best job, but who cares-he tries), dusts with a swiffer cloth, and takes the little trashbags from the bedrooms/bathrooms and puts them in the big trashcan in the kitchen. These, including being nice, are part of his "job" as a 3 year old. A weekly thing is too far away for his age, and we like it better our way anyway: we have a calendar by his bed. At night, I sit on a beanbag chair by his bed and read to him, then we pray and talk about at least one thing that made us happy today that we can be thankful for. We look at the calendar and see what we're going to do tomorrow, and if he did good and earned his allowance that day, I say "You did so good at your job, and are such a great helper. Thank you for ___" and put a star sticker on the calendar for that day. If it was a rough day, he may get an "X" with a marker instead of a star, but then we know to do better tomorrow. The calendar is Sunday through Saturday, so Saturday night is "pay day". He counts the stickers he got that week all by himself, and that's how many quarters he's earned. (1 quarter a day). He has the ability to earn a "bonus" (2 stars) if he does something out of the ordinary, is extra good or helpful, whatever....it's not an all the time thing, but he sprayed the windows with the hose (and the house, the bushes, the swing, etc) but he "helped" daddy wash windows during spring cleaning, and we chose to give him a bonus...or when we were all outside trimming the hedges, he helped load the trimmings into his wagon and threw them away with me(between chasing a lizard)-that kind of thing. We pay whatever we feel is right for the bonus based on what it is. It's more of an appreciation thing though, not a dollar amount on a specific chore. Most of the time, it's a surprise. On payday, I have a couple quarters broken into smaller change already, because he knows we put 10% into the church to help people, and 10% into the bank to save, and all the rest goes to the store for him to do what he feels like.
These things are teaching him that he has a daily job, and he does his job if he wants to earn things. It helps us talk about the days of the week and the calendar. It helps him practice counting (he counts stars, days, coins). It is teaching him now that we give, save, then spend which is very important to our family. When his savings gets full, we take it to the "real" bank, and he knows that's very special because it will help him buy a car or motorcycle, help him go to grown up school, and buy a house like daddy did. We don't take him to junk stores to buy junk, we gently guide him into making choices (but we let him make his choices!). I'll say "Ok, now that is 4 days of work to get that. Is that something you really want, or not really?" and he'll think about it before making his choice. Once he asked for chicken, and I ordered chicken for the whole family. After I had it, he saw Sonic and begged for a grilled cheese sandwich. I told him he'd asked for chicken and we already had it. But he "needed" the grilled cheese, so I said "Well the family has chicken. That is for free (he already knows free), because it is a family thing. But if you insist on something different, you may choose it, but you will have to pay with your own quarters". When we got home, I gave him his sandwich and counted the money out of his spending bank so he could pay me back. He hasn't done that very much anymore. So he's learning how to make calculated decisions and live with his purchases (something many adults can't even do!).
We have LOTS of family things that help him know he's part of a team and what family is, and allowance/chores aren't really tied into any of that for us! And of course he doesn't do without! He saved up $7 for a Spiderman fishing pole he'd picked out for a father/son sporting event, and we were proud of him for choosing it and working towards it and getting the fishing pole, so we bought him a new tacklebox, the gear, the bait, etc and we had a "my first fishing day" party complete with goldfish snacks, gummy worms, tuna sandwiches, etc for a picnic in the park. He'll very proudly show you everything he's bought with his own money: the fishing pole, a Toy Story sleepover set (sleepingbag, flashlight, etc), a toy horse, a new cowboy hat. Our family events are free (obviously) for him though: trips to the movies, sporting events, zoo, circus, daily swimming and playing games, picnics, free events at the library, berry picking, etc. We have a lot of fun together and have at least 4 outings on top of normal stuff every week (most are free, but lots of fun). All that to say I just disagree with children being "too young" (as in all matters of maturity, it depends 100% on your child as an individual), and that allowances shouldn't be tied to chores. To me, it's their "job" and you need to show up for work whether you feel like it or not, but you get paid for working. It's just a baby version of what the real world is like, and we endeavor to make it rewarding and something to be proud of, as he learns.
***Edited: My son loves (LOVES) to help others, my friends, the older lady down the road, everyone. It makes him feel good, and his little chest puffs up, shoulders a little straighter, when he's completed a task for someone. Never once has he mentioned he should get paid for that. And as for the allowance causes complaceny comment--she has a good point but it's HOW you do it, not that you do it: I did get an allowance when I turned 8. We had our bank accounts and similar things to what we're doing now. But me and my brother were anything but complacent: we had a "job" where we'd sit on a horse or lead a pony around the ring at my aunt's auction barn to show it was child-friendly. When we were saving money for a trip to Disneyworld, or the many mission trips we went on, or even for the different causes I jumped on as a teenager, we put our ideas and energy to the test, and had so much fun with it. We made fudge, divinity, and candies ourselves (with grandma's help) and sold it. I would save the unused ketchup packets when we went out and stand at the end of the lunch line at school and sell them for 5 cents (the lunch then was 95 cents, so nearly everyone had the 5 cents change still in their hand...there weren't enough ketchup bottles in the cafeteria). We mowed lawns (I did the edging, weedeating, and cleaning; my brother did the mowing), I went to a babysitting camp and once a friend and I were "certified" we started a babysitter's club and organized it, made fliers and even brochures, had our own little business going there and it was quite successful. I typed papers for classmates, did research, pretty much anything legal to make a buck. It was a GAME for us, to see who could top the other, we were anything but complacent. And we ALWAYS knew the morality of donating our time, our effort, our talents, our money to all kinds of charities at home and abroad. It's just all about how you raise your children. Complacency doesn't come with allowance; it comes with being spoiled or not having a goal to drive towards. That's my experience, anyway.

I don't believe that allowances should be given. It builds the wrong attitude in the child that they "deserve" money for just being alive. In the real world we have to work hard for what we get and that in a family everybody contributes effort for the good of all, so chores are part of being alive. If you are part of making the mess, you are part of cleaning it up! Opportunities for earning money are everywhere. Pulling a neighbors weeds, lemonade stand on the front lawn, eventually babysitting. For a six year old, maybe clearing out a part of the yard that has unwanted rocks and putting them in a bucket. Ask a neighbor if they need a little job done that she could manage. Anything. The stand can be a good lesson in teaching how much the ingredients cost, vs. how much you can get in return. Reality is a good thing and can help build respect for your life and choices. Yesterday, I paid a kid $1 for removing a dead bird from my lawn (hygenically of course!) and you can't imagine how happy I was to hand over that $1 and how happy he was to recieve it!
When I was a teen, I wanted my own money and my parents would not let me get a job. My dad told me to use my talents and work near the house. So I started teaching piano lessons (which is now my career), babysitting, mowing lawns, anything I could to earn a buck. I even went diving for golf balls on the adjoing golf course, cleaned them up and resold them to golfers as they passed near my house. I did that little enterprise when i was 9 with my younger brothers. That summer we made $100 between the three of us. We learned some really important lessons about honesty (ie: once a golfer gave my brother $100 bill instead a $1 in change. My brother realized it after the golfer had passed "our hole". We had a conference about what to do. In the end, we ran after him and he rewarded us with buying some extra balls). We also learned how when you have a good thing going - keep your mouth shut! Because of our bragging, other neighborhood kids cut into our territory and that was a major bummer. Anyway, kids can learn so much from creating their own opportunities for making money. These childhood and teen experiences built a kind of self-confidence and self reliance that comes only with this kind of personal effort. If my parents had "given" me money, it would have killed my motivation, and i would never have known that I am always capable of getting my own work and making my own money. ALLOWANCES BUILD COMPLACANCY!
My dad had his own business in the garage and my happiest memories are doing odd jobs for him and him paying me. Chores around the house were expected, but that was working for dad was a special job and we started as soon as we were coordinated enough. I was so proud to be helping in the family business when i could and getting a little money and spending time with my dad. Some of my happiest memories. What I felt was PRIDE - the good kind. Healty work even for young children builds great character and happiness. Allowances destroy this opportunity. Also important to note: I was never forced to work, ever. I was always asked and since I wanted money and enjoyed a challenge I usually said yes!

As far as special incentives go: what about the feeling of satisfaction of a clean and orderly space. If that's not enough, the room gets cleaned before we do our special activity or craft or whatever. Our rule is that it gets picked up before bedtime every night, so that we start the day fresh. Good luck.

Children should not get paid to do work that they should be doing around the house. I can see if the neighbor "hires" them to pull weeds, then that is different. Nobody pays me to wash the dishes, clean, dust, grocery shop, wash, dry, and fold laundry. Children, when they grow up, will not get paid to do their own chores when they are living on their own. These are tasks they must learn to do so that when they DO grow up and move away, they will be able to care for themselves. This is how they learn to be responsible and not expect everything to be given to them. Are the children helping you around the house because they are expecting something in return, or are they helping because it's the right thing to do and it's what mom and dad expect. Think about this: when children are in school, the teacher delegates specific tasks to the children. It teaches the children to be responsible and it helps the teacher. The teacher doesn't pay them money. The teacher might "reward" them with a prize out of some treasure box, but the children actually enjoy helping the teacher. It makes them feel big, special. This is how we must treat and teach our children. We make them feel special by relying on them to be responsible for tasks around the house. It makes your job easier. It is what they are supposed to do so I do not believe in allowance to children for tasks they should be doing around the house. Maybe at the end of the month or week you can treat them to ice cream or something of that nature, but not money.

My children never got an allowance. I do not believe in paying a child to do things that they should help do to begin with. They need to learn responsibility and family values. Not that you should be paid for everything you do. When my girls needed something if I could afford it I bought it. If they wanted something and had been good and helped all week and I could afford it and it was reasonable they got it. They both went to work at McDonald's when in High School. Today they are very smart, educated (double majors from college) adults and handle money wisely. I feel too many parents use allowances to get their children to do chores that they should be willing to do to begin with. If you want to reward your 6 year old for helping with the car then that's great but I feel paying her is wrong. Honestly, I know a lot of kids and the ones that didn't get the allowance seem to care more and respect others more. All of the neighbors love my girls because they are so loving and caring and willing to help others expecting nothing in return. I couldn't be more proud of them...THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD PAY MY CHILD FOR HELPING ME WITH ANYTHING, I THINK IT TEACHES THEM THEY SHOULD BE PAID FOR HELPING OUT AND THEY SHOULD HELP OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE A PART OF THE FAMILY....

I give a dollar for each year of age, I take away 50 cents for each thing not done without my telling them to do it and/or bad behavior, I ask for 'special' things to be done to pay their part of the cell bill (when they get to middle school/jr. high and need one).

A.

My children are 4 and 5 and get a quarter for things they aren't expected to do. Help me load and unload the laundry and dishwasher are big ones. They get half their age for the week. 4 year old gets up to $2 a week and 5 yr old gets up to $2.50 for the week. I don't just give them the money they have to earn it.
They don't get money for picking up their room or making their beds since they should do that anyway.
We also sit down at the end of the week and take out 10% for tithe and 30% for saving that we put into an interest bearing savings account. When my husband and I first got married 6 yrs ago we weren't very responsible with money but have recently started Dave Ramsey. I feel this is important for my kids to be able to understand how money works!

I attended a Dave Ramsey class & he touched on this topic. I went to his website & ordered his Financial Planning program for kids. I haven't read or listened to the material just yet but it looks great & comes with a lot of great stuff for parents & kids & it was only $10

Wow! That's nice! I never had an allowance growing up. My dad did make a bet with me once and said he would give me $10 for each A I got on my report card one year and let me tell you......got straight A's that time. :)
My mom never paid for cleaning up the room or chores because they were things that had to get done on a regular basis, a part of life. She would give me a little here and there for mowing the grass, touching up on painting, cleaning all the windows (which I did not like because we had so many!). Those things are useful, watering the plants for a week or pulling weeds would be awesome for me!!! I'd love to pay for that. Have them assist in organizing the pantry, helping out with laundry. Paying to get chores done is a slippery slope in my opinion because then they don't learn the value of being helpful or taking on their own responsibilities without a hidden agenda. My 2yr old literally vacuums the house and loves it! I hope that continues. :) Every family is different.....enjoy their eagerness to help!

I direct a private foster care agency and our state mandates that foster kids receive an allowance. It starts at age 5 and is $3.00 for ages 5-7; $5.00 for ages 8-12; $10.00 ages 13-15 and $15 for 16+. This cannot be tied to any chores though the children are expected to keep room clean and assist with family life, i.e. set table, empty dishwasher, pick up after self, etc. Foster parents can then do an incentive based allowance on top.

Personally I have a 9 yo and I give her $5 a week. I expect that she "pitch" in around the house, but don't necessarily deduct. She's an only child and is quite helpful most of the time. She generally feeds both dogs and picks up after herself. Assists with setting/clearing table, collecting trash on weekly trash night.

We are not "super" clean folks...we "straighten" our bed, don't make it, etc. So, I am not super strict. She loves saving up for things and I will often pitch in half on more expensive items.

Hope that helps!
D.

Unfortuantly my children are not modivated for money.But we do it anyway. They are fine doing chores here and there. Things are so expensive unless you go to a dollar store. So my motto is $1 for any major chore. Cleaning rooms I think should be a responsibility daily for them, but if you put them to work in other rooms, then pay them :0) . I like the clorox whipes for my children to wipe down counter tops and sink in the bathroom. It is easy for them. That is great they are already saving.