Almost 5 Year Old Not Toilet Trained at Night

Updated on October 02, 2008
D.P. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
45 answers

My soon-to-be five year old daughter has never been dry at night and is still wearing a "pulli" (night-time training pants). We have tried a couple of times to toilet train her at night, i.e. when she showed interest we put underwear on (she wet the bed) and we tried waking her at night (she was so upset and tired that it wasn't worth it and she had already wet her "pulli" at the first waking, about 3 hours into the night). Now she has shown no interest in wearing underwear at night for quite awhile and we are not sure how to approach it. She was day-trained at just over 3 years old with very few accidents or problems. I always thought that the night-training would take longer but would eventually come on its own but it hasn't. We have thought about just taking away the night training pants and forcing the issue (which is basically what we did for the day training--her diapers just "went away" one day because she had been ready to go without them for awhile but just didn't want to). There always seems to be some reason not to take this approach, right now it's the adjustment to kindergarten. Any advice and ideas would be much appreciated. Thank you!

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for your thoughtful and caring responses. This was my first request at Mamasource and I was very touched by your willingness to help and to share your own experiences. I felt reassured by numerous parents who were currently, or had been in the past, in my situation. We have decided to talk to our doctor at our daughter's five year check-up to rule out physical causes and if these are absent, then we will give her some time to outgrow it. Thank you so much!! D.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've "night-time" potty trained both of my kids by not giving them anything to drink 1 1/2 hrs before bed and they have never (knock on wood) had an accident.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
My son just stopped wearing Pulli's about 4 months ago and he's 12. We did everything to try and make him stop. He was just in such a deep sleep that he couldn't wake up. He finally told us when his Pulli was dry a whole. He has had a few accidents since, but I think he just had to grow out of it. Don't stress ove it!
Good Luck!
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.,
I have a 9 year old who is getting better but still occasionally wets his bed. It used to be a nightly thing last school year. My first step was taking him to the doctor to rule out a medical issue. The doctor said he probably sleeps too soundly and asked if there is a history of bedwetting in the family (my ex's sister wet the bed until she was 12). I have him avoid liquids after 8pm, go to the bathroom right before bed. I tried an alarm clock set for the middle of the night - that didn't work. I recently went to a school counselor and she said it isn't uncommon. She gave me an article that says the bedwetting alarm works on 80-90% of the children. If that doesn't work, there is a nasal spray (DDAVP) that works well. Good luck!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Mine too! And we too have tried just about everything. In the end, I gave up. Kids bladders grow and mature at different rates and you have no control over that. The more pressure you put on them, the worse they feel when it happens again. One of these days the diaper will be dry in the morning, and the next day too, and eventually you can stop putting them on. But that's all you can do, wait. Little kids pee in their sleep without trying to or even knowing it, and it doesnt wake them up, and no lesson or guilt trip or even the best of intentions can make that stop happening any faster. Don't worry.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from San Diego on

Both of my boys were the same way. For my older son the homeopathic Equisetum worked wonders and for my younger son the homeopathic Causticum worked.

Neither one of my boys cared very much about it though, to be honest. I was the one who was stressed because they wanted sleep overs. One brilliant mom who was allowing her son to sleep over at my house called and said "okay he still wets the bed, so I'm sending him over with a sleeping bag so if he wets, he'll wet in the sleeping bag and he'll get changed on his own so he won't be stigmatized". He was eight and outgrew it shortly thereafter.

If you want to know more about homeopathy checkout www.bluedominoes.com. There is an overview there. Also, Homeopathy Today and other sites like ABChomeopathy are good resources.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Night training and potty training are TWO different things. Most kids are not night trained until 5-7 years of age. Don't wake her in the middle of the night. She needs her sleep.

My daughter is almost 6 and wakes up with a soaked diaper. She'll wear underwear at night when she is ready. My 3 year old son is the same.

Don't stress over this. Buy reusable night time diapers or stock up on pull ups. ** Despite what some may say, your daughter isn't peeing in her pull up because she is wearing a pull up. Once she keeps her pull ups dry for 7 nights in a row, then you can try underwear.

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can relate 100%. My son is 7 1/2 an still has night time incontinence. This what we have done-he has had kidney function tests, bladder function tests and some sort of blood work done. There is no medical reason why.

So, next step (and like your daughter has NEVER woke up dry) cut out liquids 2 hours before bed.

next step-get him out of bed around 11 (when I go to sleep) and have him go. and then again at 3-4 am when I randomly wake at night. The no water and waking at night work surprisingly well, but, not enough.

we now have a night alarm he has been using about a week. and, other than one occurance it wakes him up, and he gets up to pee.

bed wetting can be from the parents too-it runs in families. I am so done w/ it though. My son sleeps really hard, and the urologist thinks that is why he doesn't wake when he needs to go. Seriously, a marching band could be next to his head. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from San Diego on

I agree with some of the others here. Limit liquids after 5 or 5:30 p.m. and then use the pull up and encourage her to go to the toilet right before bed and first thing in the morning. Other than that, please don't stress about this. The most important thing is for her and the rest of the family to get the sleep that they need. If she were to sleepover at a baby sitter's or relative's home, I would make it clear to them what the nighttime routine is and that she does wear a pull up at night. Just continue to be loving and supportive to her and your other child and enjoy every moment of being a mom. Best wishes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.! We too have a 5 year old little girl who is wet, and I mean wet, every night! We eat dinner around 6:30 and after that she gets nothing else to drink. She has had a night here and there where the diaper is just a little wet, but for the most part she is soaked, to the point that pull ups are out of the question. Our Dr. said it's totally normal, not to even think about it until she is 6. She so wants to be out of diapers at night, so we keep telling her when her body is ready it will happen!!

Good luck :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well, you can take away the diapers/pullups, but that won't make her be able to hold it all night... I think all that will happen is that you'll end up washing sheets every morning and probably getting very tired of it. It's normal for kids to wet the bed at 5yrs old still, just let her wear the pull ups - is it really hurting anything? If she doesn't start waking up dry in the next couple of years (yes, years), bring it up to her doctor. There is a hormone that your body starts making somewhere between 3-10 years of age that causes your body to stop making so much urine at night. My brother wet the bed until he was at least 8 yrs old and his doctor put him on a treatment where you spray a liquid form of the hormone into your nose right before bed. Worked the first night, and after a few months, he was able to stop using the spray and keep the bed dry on his own.... everything comes in it's own time with kids, just give her a break, she's only five :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

When it was time to train my daughter, her doctor was "don't rush it", let her decide on her own. We didn't rush and she decided. At night, I think I used pull up for six months, before I just decided not to. She's about 5 1/2 and we've probably had two accidents.

You said your daughter was sensitive, does she cry, when she realizes her bed is wet?

Make sure she goes to the restroom before bed. Don't give her anything to drink an hour before bed time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

dont worry she will learn some time. I'm nnnow 85 as a youchild and even as a teenager I I STILL wet the bed . eventual my bladder gained controll. Just make sure the bed is protected. And this to shall pass. Just love her &be pacient A. from No Hills

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My pediatrian said this was very common in about 10% of girls up to the age of 7. I don't think it has anything to do with defiance. I think it CAN become about power... if you let it! I think these children are sound sleepers with smaller / weaker bladders. My daughter had this problem and it eventually went away on her own as her bladder could hold more pee. We didn't make a big deal out of it. She wore "good nights" the pull-ups for bigger kids. We didn't want to do anything to make her ashamed. Just kept the wetting pad on her bed, wore pull-ups, restricted liquid in take before bed and showed her where to grab a towel in case she "overflowed". I think my biggest gripe was having to get up in the middle of the night and change her sheets. Instead, we showed her how to get up, grab a beach towel and lay it two-ply, over the wet spot and go back to bed. At 5 she knew how to change her pj's. In the morning, she has to help change the bed but not as punishment, just as part of the tasks of our family. If you think it's a medical issue, it couldn't hurt to schedule an appointment with a urologist to see if she has any underlying issues but based on your responses, I truly feel it is common. It's one of those things, I don't think she'll go off to college with!! Figure out how to minimize your stress and duties and you'll probably be more at peace.
Good Luck and as with most of parenting, this too shall pass.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try talking it out with her in a kind understanding way. Talk about it in the third person asking her what she thinks you should do to have the night time wetness go away.

If that doesn't work then try to make it into an event something that she really wants. When she agrees, come up with a set date where from that date on she won't pee in the bed anymore.

Before all that take her to the doctor and make sure that it is not medical.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you spoken to your doctor? There may be a medical issue. Before I do anything else I'd rule that out.

Assuming the medical stuff is fine I'd just ignore it. You mentioned that your daughter is strong willed. Who wants to turn this into a control issue. She'll stop wearing a pull up when she wants too - it may take a sleep over, or the other kids teasing her to end it. Don't worry, she won't be wearing it to college.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know the feeling. Cutting off all liquids early, like 7pm, and having her empty her bladder a few times before bedtime, helps. Sometimes they just don't let it all out. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wish I had a good answer for you, but I don't. I did want to let you know that you are not alone, my almost 5 year old boy is doing the same thing. AARRGGHH!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

All kids are different. My girls are younger than yours, but to give you an idea of how different they can be, here's our experiences. My first daughter stopped peeing at night when she was a year old. I was pleasantly surprised and tried to get her daytime potty trained intermittently without success until she was 2 1/2 and it took 2 days. When my second daughter came along, I figured it would be a similar experience. Boy was I wrong! She is almost 3 now and still has daytime accidents about once every other day and wakes up soaked every night. Like other moms, we have tried no liquids after 7pm and potty right before bed without much luck. Once in a blue moon she will wake up dry and we praise her and give her a treat. She just doesn't have the control and is a heavy sleeper. I have resigned myself to buying pull-ups for nite time and have wee pads for the next time we try nite time potty training. Also, my niece is 9 and still has accidents sometimes, so I'm going to try to stay positive and have her help with the accidents. I guess we're all in it for the long haul, so good luck and enjoy the ride...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from San Diego on

Hi D.,

There is a product out there called "Night Hawk" I believe. It's like a little beeper that clips on to her diaper, and when it gets wet, it can either vibrate or sound an alarm, thus, waking her up at the slightest accident at night. They say there's a money back guarantee, and my girlfriend used it and within two weeks her son was "cured." However, I have a son that is 6, and it didn't work for him. He has always been a very heavy sleeper. When he wore the device, the alarm only woke me up, and I'd go in, get him up, have him go potty, then take him back to bed. I did this for two weeks and it did at least let me know when he was peeing. Pretty much about every three hours. So that was interesting. But the bottom line for me was, I was so exhausted from waking up through the night, that I decided it wasn't worth it to my health. I spoke to his doctor and she said that some children are just very healthy sleepers and are unable to wake up out of their sleep to know they are peeing. She said to give it another year and he should grow out of it. So that's what I'm going to do.

If anyone has any other advice I'd love to hear it.

Thanks,
Jenn

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.O.

answers from Las Vegas on

As long as it is just at night, don't worry. Just keep putting the diaper/pulli on before bed. It won't last forever. I was in your daughter's shoes until I was 7. I'm happy to report that it's about 30 years later now, and I don't wet the bed anymore. Some muscles just take a little longer to train, whether it be the muscle between her ears or otherwise. I can't remember wetting out of spite or anything. It's ok...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

D.,
The "Potty Pager" is an amazing product! You can find it at pottypager.com.
My son was six and still wetting the bed because he slept so soundly - I thought he'd never be able to stay dry. I had nightmares of his college roomates making fun of him - LOL! We got the potty pager and he was keeping dry in just over two weeks. It's been two years and he's only had one accident. It works for boys and girls. Basically, your daughter would wear two pairs of panties and the pager would go between them. You can even put a pull up over everything so that you don't need to change the sheets during the training period. The pager is moisture sensitive and will vibrate when it gets wet. This will wake your daughter and, of course, you will need to change her. For some reason this helps to "train" their brain to begin waking BEFORE they go and, I'm not kidding, before long she will be waking when she needs to go OR making it through the night without going. It was the greatest investment for us and my son was SOOOOO happy! He could finally have sleep-overs and not be embarrassed. Now his college roomates will have to find something else to make fun of him about. :)
Good luck to you! I promise you it will work.

K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My almost 9 year old daughter still wears pull ups to bed. She is above average in every other way and is a completely normal, delightful child who never has an accident during the day since she was about 4. I know other families who have kids like this as well. Please Google something to the effect of "my child is still bedwetting" and you'll find TONS of other posts and info. Mostly they grow out of it by 11 or 12 if not before. Don't stress about it. My daughter even went to sleepaway camp for 3 wks this summer and got her pull ups on and off w/no one ever knowing about it but the counselors. There are worse things in life... and when you read abut that "drug" to help them stay dry at night - steer clear. Ug. Just let nature take it's course.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

You mentioned that she is strong willed. I would talk with her, maybe over snack time or somewhere quiet and discuss about how she is a big girl now at school and everything, and when does she think she would like to go without the pulli's?
Suggest maybe a treat or a trip somewhere she likes if she goes with out pulli's and makes it to the potty.
Truly strong willed kids like to feel they are in control. The trick is to get them to choose how you would like them to choose. ;)
Another trick that worked with mine is a potty in her room, next to the night light. She didn't have to wake up and walk down the "scary" hallway to the bathroom, it was in a friendly spot that she felt safe to use at night. After a few months the potty went away and she was dry.

L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have three comments to make.

First, you might want to have her checked by her pediatrician to make sure her bladder is developed. I've heard of this happening when the bladder grows more slowly than the other organs making it nearly impossible for a kid to hold urine until morning.

Second, also check with her pediatrician about sleep issues. If she is falling into an unusually deep sleep, that might be the reason why she is not able to wake herself when her bladder is full.

Third, if everything checks out with the pediatrician, then try taking away the pulli for at least two weeks. We are going through this now with my almost 4 year old. She has been fully trained since before she turned 3 but has wet her pullup every single night. We finally just told her that we "ran out" of pullups and put her to bed in panties. For the first two weeks, she wet the bed, (we made her sleep on a towel so we didn't have to wash her linens every day, plus we had a mattress protector) but for the last week she has been dry. Make sure taking the pulli away is not done in a punitive way. Think of it as you and your daughter being in this together. I'm sure she would like to stay dry at night, too. Give praise for her attempts and especially for her successes. Since she just started Kindergarten, I would suggest that you wait at least another month before trying this. Don't want to overwhelm the little love!

Whatever you choose to do, just make sure that your daughter gets the message that you are on her side and want to help her. By reading your post, I can tell that you are a great mom who is very sensitive to her child's needs. She's very lucky to have you!

Good luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

There could be underlying issues for this. The more pressure you put on her, could be doing more harm than good. I have found this with my children. I have an 8yr old who can't stay dry at night, but he has underlying issues.

One idea is that she must change her bedsheets and put new sheets on. I have a friend who had her children do this, even at 5yrs old. It helps get the message that you don't care for the wet sheets and she needs to be responsible for them if she is going to wet them.

Good luck~

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.,

My first advice would be to consult her doctor. But you may have already taken that approach? If you have not I would strongly advise this to be your next step. It might be more than just potty training. My second advice is not to make a big deal out of it. I have three kids. My oldest is 10 years olds and from time to time still has night accidents. He is the only one with this issue and it is quiet embarrasing for him. He hadn't had one in over two years and all of the sudden the other night...oooppppssss...there it was again. He was so embarrassed. When he was about five I consulted his doctor and he assured me he was physically ok; however, he did ask questions regarding his emotional relationship with his father. I don't know if this will apply in your situation. But, this doctor mentioned a direct link between boys wetting their pants and their relationship with their father. My heart broke. Again, I don't know if this is true or if it applies to a girl but just giving you some questions to ask at your next doctor appointment.

Hope things get better.

R.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

Night training is very different from potty training. Your child's body has to be physically ready to hold its urine all night. My husband was potty trained at 2, but wet the bed until he was 8. So be patient. If your child starts waking up dry a lot, then try getting rid of the pull-ups. But it doesn't sound to me like she is ready. My daughter wore a pull up to bed until age 6, and at 7 she still has occasional accidents. But they are getting more infrequent. Hang in there, it does get better.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.T.

answers from Honolulu on

There is a hormone secreted when someone sleeps. This may not be working for her. Also, food allergies that do not interfere with daytime activities may cause problems at night.

Since she is daytime trained and you have stopped giving fluids a few hours before bedtime(you have, right?), there may be some other issue here.

Bottom line: If she's otherwise healthy, don't worry 'bout it; you and she may not be able to control this aspect of her life right now.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

hello my daughter is six and still having night time problems, but they started getting betting better when i wouls one set the alrm clock for half way through her sleep say 5 hours or more, no drink before bedtime and big reward when she doesnt pee on her self for three nights in a row!! it has now been a month since night time wetting. and when she does have an accident, we wash the sheets and make the new bed together so that she sees it not a huge deal but its a bigger deal if you dont hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try not allowing her to drink anything past 7pm and have her toilette right before bed time. I would attempt again to get up at night with her regardless if she puts up a fuss, toilette her every 2-3 hours, if it's a behavoir problem your daughter is expriancing it should resolve quickly, other wise i would take her to her doctor there may be something physical or pyschological causing this problem. Hope this helps...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Reno on

I wouldn't push it. Some kids wet the bed until they're ten, either because their bladders just aren't ready, or they sleep to heavily to wake up and go potty. Two of our kids are night trained, but it just came naturally. We stop giving them liquids by 6:30 p.m. They both go potty before their shower which is at 7:30, then again when they wake up in the morning around 6:00. Just be patient with her. She won't go to college in "pullies". :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did not read all of the responses, so forgive me if someone covered this already. The problem probably is your child’s sleep patterns. Some people sleep very deeply, couple that with a small bladder and you have bed wetters. Sleep patterns can be inherited and they are very different from person to person. My poor aunt wet the bed sometimes even as a teenager. My dad until he was twelve. I had problems myself until I was in junior high. After that for many years I worried about it so badly, that it was as bad as wetting the bed would have been. Don’t turn this into something your child is doing wrong. Believe me, the shame of this can last a life time. Help her and always, always be kind. No fluids three hours before bed. Put a plastic cover under her sheets and take off the diapers. This way she will know at sometime during the night that she wet the bed. Teach her how to put clean covers and a sheet over her bed and put the dirty ones and PJs in a hamper in her room. She can shower in the morning. If it’s a matter that she can correct this will motivate her to do so. Most kids grow out of this by 7 or so. Keep in mind that this may be a very difficult thing for your daughter. Treat it as you would any other accident your daughter did that was out of her control. This will matter to her a lot in a very short while and she will try to change it if she can without your wanting her to.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from San Diego on

Hi D.-

My daughter was 6 when we finally she stopped having accidents at night. We ended up getting a monitor which is a sensor that wakes her and us up. It senses the first drop of urine and then you wake her up and run to the bathroom. My daughter was sooo excited to try it and then after two night she hid it because she didn't like being woken up. A couple more night accidents, she told us that she wanted to try it again, so she "found" it and used it that night. She hasn't had an accident since!!!

I was really bummed before we tried it with all the accidents and one friend told me not to worry about it, that she won't be walking down the aisle to marry wearing a pull-up and sucking her thumb!

Hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

We had the same issue with my 6 yr old. Our doctor suggested a bed wetting alarm. We seemed to have real issues with it and it never seemed to work correctly. I bought a large package of wash clothes and put one of them in the middle of her diaper panties. It did make her more aware of when she was going. She is a sound sleeper and never seemed to wake up to feel that she was wet. Wish the cloth in there she felt it more and was more aware of things even in her sleep. We had to wash the sheets more and it still took months to feel like we were making progress but now she is dry 6 nights a week and that is a pretty good ratio in my opinion.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.,

I would like to suggest not giving her ANY liquids 3 hours before bed time. I'm not sure when she goes to bed, but if she doesn't have it in her system, then she can't pee her pulli. This will be hard at first, but it will work. I'd also recommend introducing this kinda like a game for her. Have her help you make a pretty poster board that you can keep track of wet nights/dry nights. Have her help you mark the board when she doesn't wet. Tally them up and on Saturday afternoon, if she woke up dry 3 out of 5 nights, take her for an ice cream at McDonalds. And then when she hits 4/5 nights, she gets hair pretties at the store, then 5/5, she gets to pick out some big girl panites at the store. Try not to spend a lot of time on it. Just cut off the liquids, gently remind her to potty before bed and maybe try getting her up in the night and having her go, but remind her of her reward board...and even if she doesn't go, praise her for getting up and trying, then in the morning, make a big to-do about it. Take her to the potty and say let's see if we get to put a star on the board and lots of smiles and laughter and if she did great, we sing and dance and lots of kisses, if she didn't then a simple we can try again tonight sweetie and then just drop it. That way she isn't stressing over it. Take it slow, you will get there.

Good Luck,
E.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.,

I am curious what kind of advice you will get. I have a similar situation with my 4.5 year old girl. She was potty train at 2-and-a-half almost cold turkey:) She is also a strong will and this was her own decision. However, the pediatrician is not worried about the night wetting until she is a 5-years old. She believes my child will outgrow it. I've been trying the same approaches like you but nothing seems to solve the problem long term so far. Sometimes we have "successful nights", but we can't count on it.
Good luck and let me know if there is a miraculous recipe:)

K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

my son was 8yrs old before i FINALLY got him the 'malem' brand alarm system...i wish i would have done it years before that! it's the BEST $100 i ever spent!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a nine year old boy that has the same issues. He has never been able to get through the night without wetting, and just like your daughter her goes with in hours of going to sleep. We have tried everything the pee pee alarms, trying to wake him up before it happens but the truth is he is too sound asleep to do anything. My nephew had success with a chiropractor but he was close to twelve when he sought those treatments and to ne honest we have tried that too but to no avail. I have spoken with our Doctor cause in our case my son goes to the bathroom pretty frequently during that day so he thinks that he has an undersized bladder along with maybe a hormone problem so for right now we are trying to have him hold it for 10 more minutes after he feels like he has to go in hopes of stretching his bladder and if that doesn’t work we may start hormone therapy. But the bottom line is, at least that I have found , this is NOT that uncommon. And as long as your daughter knows that it is not her fault and she doesn’t have to be embarrassed, keep her in the pull ups at night til she grows out of it. Cause eventually she will.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D. - my daughter was very similar. She was potty trained a few months before she turned three but continued to have some wet pull-ups at night time until she was five. My pediatrician said not to worry about it. The doctor asked if she is a deep sleeper (which she is) and said that she can't control going potty at night time, and that she would naturally out grow it. Our doctor said she would only become concerned if it was still an issue when she was seven. My daughter did naturally out grown the bed wetting by six. Good luck! I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D....

I only read part of your request, however, my daughter will be 6 in a couple of weeks. It was only several months ago that she stopped wetting her bed. I was concerned, of course, but just let things run their course. Every child develops differently; mine grew out of it. My advice: let your little girl grow out of it, too. My daughter was such a heavy sleeper that nothing phased her. We put her on the toilet right before she lays down and she's fine now. I think any stress you have in your life, doesn't need to be made more intense because of this. It doesn't need to be directed to this situation either. Things will soon change :). Let her sleep in her pull-ups. Huggies has larger sized overnight underwear that I used for both of my kids. And just to show you how different children's bodies develop... my son, at age 2, only had a couple of accidents during the night, but stopped wetting the bed before my daughter did. Your daughter's body will catch up. :) Just tell her that she can wear the pull-ups like underwear, but if she knows she has to pee during the night, she needs to go in the toilet obviously. Or, let her fall asleep with nothing on and then put the pull-ups on after she's sleeping. This might give her more incentive NOT to pee the bed if she knows there's no "protection". :) I did this, too. However, in the end, don't present this bed wetting as a problem to her. It's not. Just be calm and loving as I'm sure you are and she will feel more relaxed, giving things a better flow for her to change/grow out of this in peace. :) And whatever you do, DO NOT put her on any bedwetting medications! My pediatrician actually told me to be concerned when the child is 7 years old, which I founs a bit outrageous, however, things will happen as they nedd to :).

Good luck!
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's not actually thought to be a problem until they are six. My daughter is 6 almost 7 and still has never had a dry night. SOme kids just aren't ready. Their brain/bladder connection doesn't work right at night. I am frustrated, but even when I get her up to pee around 11 she still goes again before wake up time at 6:45. Now that we are back at school I will try to be consistent about waking her up at 11 for a month or two to see if that works more. She is getting frustrated and thinks it is shameful and that people will make fun of her.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello,

the way I trained at night was to use the training underwear. They are made of thick cotton.
I put two of them on at night. It looks like they are wearing two pairs of underwear, but it's double thick, cost effective and washable. Also, you may want to go to the fabric store and purhase off of the bolt, a large piece of "Puddle pad" fabric. This will cover the entire mattress. The crib size is way too small.

This way, your child is a "big Kid" and can feel the wetness. Also, give them the power to wash their own laundry and change sheets. This will help them be more independent.
Soon, they will train themselves.... She is old enough.

Good luck... it worked for me.

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.,

I am not sure I have advise but maybe can just comiserate with your scenario. I have 5.5 year old twins, they are still wearing pull ups. I have read so much literature that ties psycological issues to toilet training I have decided to not push the issue. One twin could probably stop wearing the pull ups, one is always wet. The doctor said that kid sbladders all mature at different times. It also seems that any kind of change or trauma can create or continue bedwetting. I just think this too will work itself out and is it that big a deal? I mean what are the chances they will bed wet in college? Anyway that is my spin and I would love to hear others reponses as my experience is limited :)

Good luck - S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I come from a family of bedwetters so my outlook on this is much different from others. I stopped at 9 and that was earlier than both my brother and my parents. I was never trying to be stubborn. I couldn't help it. Taking me to the bathroom at night, threats, restricting liquids didn't help. One day I just grew out of it. I was so very happy. I didn't want to wet the bed, I just woke up wet every morning.

Speak to her doctor and rule out any medical issues and just be patient. It will happen in time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well, that's interesting. At this point in time, you don't know if she's a bed wetter or just never was "trained". Somehow that sounds wrong, I'm sure there's a better word....

I don't have any magic answers. Maybe it's time to just bite the bullet and say, "Guess what? You're a big girl now and it's time to give up your pulli's" and do it. Make sure you have the mattress in a waterproof pad and be prepared for some accidents. When helping children who are bedwetters, it's recommended that you have them pee 20 minutes prior to going to bed, and then again right at bedtime. Something about emptying the bladder completely. I don't believe in limiting fluids, but I'd exercise common sense, and not let her down a 12 oz. glass of anything in the evening! See how it goes. Don't scold for any accidents, no matter how frustrated you may get. Clean accidents up w/o any comments, put her in dry stuff and put her back to bed. Minimize any conversation (this in itself can be a "reward" for an accident---it's kinda nice chatting w/mom in the middle of the night kind of mentality), tuck her in and back to your bed you go. If she's still wetting after a week, I'd do two things. Set up an incentive chart---you're going to have to base it on how often she's wetting the bed. Small reward for 2-3 dry nights, bigger reward for 3-4 dry nights, or even a week. Bright shiny star or sticker and lots of praise for any dry night. No negative comments at all for wet nights. Next, tell her she's now in charge of cleaning up. And yes, she's old enough!! Show her what to do----put some layers of towels over the wet bed, wet pj's in washer or basket (wherever), put on fresh pj's and back to bed she goes. Tell her not to wake you up. If she's not a bedwetter, she'll learn really quickly, believe me. If she's a bedwetter, this won't work, and you'll need to just adopt the last part of my email---she can clean up herself and you NEVER, ever shame her. It's not her fault!! Were you, your husband or any siblings bedwetters? It's most often a hereditary condition, so if she is, chances are somebody or somebodies were in your families. I think it's important, if she's a bedwetter, to do some research and explain to her what's going on so she'll understand and not be embarassed about what's going on as she gets a little older, thinking it's her "fault". Okay, sorry to be so long winded. Good luck.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches