Anyone Have a Toddler or Preschooler That Is Afraid to Poop and Withholds??

We had severe issues. "Medicine goes in my mouth, not in my butt". Favorite line from that episode. Anyway, the whole problem went away as soon as she started going on the potty. Don't wait for it to resolve before starting potty training. It may just be the answer you were looking for.

Change his diet rather than use meds.

I would stop using the suppository, it is a horrible experience, if you have ever had it.

I would include prunes, raisins, peaches, and lots of liquids. Don't include all these right away, except the liquids and one prune a day. Apples are constipating, but you can use prune juice, and grape juice.

Remember the object is to make his stools soft so that he passes them easily. And as they become soft, he may have an accident or two, so be prepared.

My son had the same issue at the age of 2. He was completely potty trained until he had a really bad poop after being constipated severely. My Grandma (who is an amazing woman of 97 years of age) told me to start offering him sliced apples (with skins on), prunes, apricots…pretty much anything that had fiber in it that he would eat. Also offer lots of fluid like diluted juice. But above all the best thing she did was talk to my son and explained (okay this is going to sound funny but I tell you it worked miracles) that when his poop poo was knocking he had to let it out otherwise it would just get bigger and bigger. So she said when you feel you have to poop that is your poop poo knocking and it wants to come out. From then on, anywhere we were, my son would announce "My poop poo is knocking!" He would immediately run to the toilet and let it out. My son is now 14 and would probably die of embarrassment if he knew I was telling this story! But if this helps you then it is worth it right! Good luck 

We had the same issue at that age with my step-daughter (now 7 years old). How often are you using the Miralax? We had the same issues, she was avoiding bowel movements until she was so backed up it was very painful or she needed a suppository. Your case definitely sounds psychological. Make sure you give support in taking their time in the bathroom, its okay if it takes a while to go. Maybe offer a reward if he goes in the potty for bowel movements. Just try to make the whole experience more pleasant and positive. We also made Miralax part of the daily routine, every morning she (still) gets it in juice, milk, etc. Its a more natural type of aide, you could also enforce fiber in his diet and see if that helps.

Hi C.,

My daughter went through the same situation. She used to hold her poop in because it was too hard to push and when she did, it was a enourmous size! She's now on Miralax and finally going regularly.

Have you discussed this with your son's doctor? Could the suppository scare him into not going? I know my daughter hated it. Have you tried pushing liquids; water down pear or prune juice is suppose to be very high in fiber.

Good Luck! I hope you find a solution for the little guy!

Lots of kids, especially boys have this issue while potty training. It can take 6 months after they are fully potty trained to get them to poo on the potty instead of in their nap or bedtime diaper.
My daughter didn't have these issues, but milk did constipate her a lot, and she had to be on Miralax for a while. Finally, figured out that if we limit her milk to one cup a day and give her soy the rest of the day, she is much better.
As an alternative to the suppository, try corn syrup. Add a couple tablespoons to apple juice and give it with a meal. By the end of the day, he'll be going.
The more he knows you worry about it, talk about it, or do anything he relates to pooping, the longer this will be an issue. He needs to think you have completely dismissed it.

I had a sort of problem like yours with my daughter but not to the extent of yours. As your child gets older now, having to give and recieve suppositories can be quite overwhelming to her and yourselves. Take a good look at her diet, food and liquid intake. Is your little one eating enough raw veggies and fruits? Or cooked veggies for that matter? Is she drinking enough liquid each day? If she's eating too many processed foods or foods that are binding and not letting the "flow" freely move? You'll have to change her diet and do it fast! best wishes to you! L. L

C.,

I had a similar situation with my son when we were potty training him a year ago, he's now 5 1/2 and fully potty trained.

One night at dinner we had a conversation about going potty. I started by asking him if there was anything at all about going potty that was scary. At first he nodded shyly, thinking he'd get in trouble. Once he realized that he wasn't going to get into trouble he opened up and told me that there were monsters that were trying to get him/his poop.

After dinner we set up a step to the toilet so he could squat on the toilet seat and see below him while pooping. Once he was comfortable, about 30 seconds, he stopped pooping in his pants and not telling us. I think the splashing of the poop hitting the water scared him.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

We have (had) this issue. The intestines in our family are nearly full size when we're born, and ARE full size by the time we're 2. Creates problems, because the exit is NOT full size! Ouch! Actually, giving birth was a comparable experience. It hurt a little LESS actually, to have my son.

So my son got that gene. In fact...there were days where I've spent over 2 hours holding and rocking a crying toddler...and there are days (maybe once every couple of months) where he still gets afraid...and has to be coached through it.

So it's been years.... of patience, and praise of his courage and, and encouraging his bravery. Which it is. How many adults are willing to go through something painful without trying to put it off? Not many I know.

The reason I've been willing to spend years teaching bravery? My mum fed us laxatives and shoved enemas into us until we were around 5 and she gave up...and I have to tell you...her being **angry** and Stressed Out over something that we had NO CONTROL (aka fear of pain) is probably my STRONGEST memory of my childhood. It doesn't matter how many pictures there are of her loving, and cuddling, and playing with us. Until I was 5 my mum was my own personal monster.

So be gentle.

Your son is afraid. Rightly so. After a few hundred or a few thousand times of something hurting...he's going to remember that it hurt. We usually only go through childbirth a few times...and never once a week, much less every few days.

It's going to take some time. With my son, it took until he was around 4. At about that age, he'd puff up his chest, put on his Big Boy face and tell me "Mum. I'm going to be very brave. I'm tough." and then march himself into the bathroom. And like I said...two years down the road at 6...it crops up once every few months.

If you wait until the issue is resolved, you may have to wait until they're 8 or 9...which...in talking with others in the same boat, is the age it generally "goes away". Our son was potty trained 100% by 3, but preferred his diaper for poops for another year. And then it was another 6 months before he didn't want me holding his hand in the bathroom.

So be gentle. And be his hero, instead of his monster.

my daughter is just 3, has been potty trained for the last year. She has been afraid to poop that whole time. We have made progress, but not that much.

We tried books, she loves the everyone poops book, but didn't really make a difference. I feed her as much fiber as i can. I make it so she can't hold if for more than 2 days. I think it's a matter of finding the stuff they will eat. My sister-in-law says 100% black cherry juice is the only thing her son will drink enough of to work.

I have to hug her on the potty while she goes and she won't go with anyone else or in other bathrooms. She says it doesn't hurt while she is going, but she still holds it as long as she can. Half the time she goes after she has gone to bed and wakes up groggy and I carry her to the potty and she goes without resisting.

HTH
H.

You need to work with your pediatrician on this, we went through this with our 3 1/2 year old daughter who has been potty trained for a year.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html

my son will be 6 in May and we have had the same issues sense he was 2. after trying everything his doctor finally put him on Miralax. When he had problems his doctor said to increase the dosage of Miralax until his poop came out in the consitancey of a milk shake, then he couldn't hold it in. Then slowly decrease the amount over a few days untill it started to form a soft stool. Your son will see that it dosen't hurt for thee poop to come out and won't hold it.
This is not something that will happen over night, but in time he will see it's good to poop.
I wish you the best of luck.
We give our son Miralax every night mixed in his milk at dinner time. we have been doing this for almost 3 years now and we have n't had any problems for about 2 1/2 yrs.
if you nedd more info on how it worked for us, just send me an e mail I would be very happy to help you out.
R.
____@____.com

First, I’d like to apologize for the long post, but I too came here looking for advice on this same subject and I know how frustrating this can be. My son had a similar issue (though not as extreme) while we were beginning to potty train. He had no issue at all going pee, but he would withhold for days at a time, and then have accidents. I’m sure you have tried all the usual (stickers, candy, promising anything you can think of). I called my doctor; they told me was to give him a laxative every few days and pump him full of prune juice. FYI – Fleet brand makes a children’s laxative that is a dissolvable strip, rather than a suppository (that would freak ME out too). It was a combination of a lot of things to get him to go on the potty.
#1 - I asked him why he as afraid to go on the potty. I didn't ask him while I was exasperated in the bathroom, but while we were cuddling on the couch one afternoon and not thinking about the potty at all. I had asked him many times before, but I guess always at the wrong time. Turns out he had a dream that he was on the toilet doing his business and a monster come in and tried to push him in the toilet. So, we had to work though that fear first.
#2 - He was very concerned where the poop was going after he "put it in the potty". In the past I had told him it goes in the sewer… but I don’t think he quite grasped that concept no matter how much I explained it. So, I told him that it goes in the ground to feed the trees. You can see the trees are happy because they ‘dance’ after you flush (trees blowing in the wind). He though it was so cool he would run to the window every time to see how he made the trees dance.
3# - I went to the dollar store and HE picked out a bunch of toys. Then we went to toys r us (for hours!) and he got to pick out one big toy. He got one of the small toys every time he went #2. I also made a potty chart. He got a check mark every time he want #2. When he had enough check marks, he got the big toy. After that, no more check marks or toys, because he was “all trained”. I think it made a huge difference that he got to choose the toys.

I hope that at least one of these things helped. Good Luck!

I recomend Fiber One Huney Clusters for breakfast & snacks. This should stop the painful bowel movments. Prune juice wouldn't hurt either or prunes, they make a geat snack. I think once you remove the pain factor, it will be easier to potty train.

One thing that I did with all my children was let them in the bathroom when I had to go. I would let them know if I was pooping or peeing (yea it sounds gross but it helps)then let them look in the toilet to see. My 22 mo old is already potty training and she loves to flush and say "Bye poo poo". I guess what I am saying show them that it is natural and make a game of it. When she was in diapers she would say poo poo when she was getting the pressure and Iwould put her on the toilet, so if you can catch him getting ready to poop try putting him on the toilet. Its much more comfortable going that way than in his daiper, especially if it is solid and big. I hope this makes sense and is helpful!!

Poor Child! My child had the same problems at about ages 2 - 3. She has Celiac disease. Any food allergies will cause this problem. My advice is, go to a Naturopathic doctor (there are two great ones in Everett that work with Children) and get tested for food allergies - my experience with the allergy clinic in Silver Lake was - USELESS waste of time.

I was informed that if I had taken my daughter to an MD to be tested they would have said she was NOT celiac, because she was borderline, but when I took wheat out of her diet, voila - all of the symptoms cleared up. - 2nd reason to go to a naturopath. They will tell you whether they are even if they are "borderline". "Borderline" in the Naturopathic community means "IS".

Probably pooping is extremely painful, and that's why he's afraid to go. Naturopaths also have a lot of remedies for these problems and they are wizards at getting the digestive system to work properly. If you don't live in the Everett area, I suggest finding someone recommended by a friend. Believe me, they are worth the money you may have to pay if they are not on the insurance. My Naturopath was our primary doctor.

There is a clinic in Edmonds WA, I beleive it is called the Encopresis clinic. They have a web site that has a lot of helpful info on withholding behavior. They are also very helpful via the phone. God bless you.

I am a childcare provider who has studied Early Childhood Education for years, with my main studies in toddlerhood. I have helped potty train many toddlers. My youngest daughter had this issue as well, And I ended up resorting to good ol' fashioned bribery! LOL! I promised a trip to Chuck E. Cheese after she "went brown" in the potty. It worked! Once she actually went, she discovered that it was doable and not painful. This is not a new or innovative idea, but I hope you find it helpful. Blessings to you and yours! :)

It sounds like you know it's beyond a physical issue, so I would call the pediatrican and make an appointment to discuss what kind of measures to take via counseling/therapy. Isn't there a medical term for kids who won't go #2???

I hope you are able to find a solution that works for you and your son! That has got to be rough.

my son had similar issues and has finally outgrown it at age 7. we tried lots of things incl. homeopathy, craniosacral therapy & chiropractic care. It was psychological but this is how we got it under control: no dairy, lots of fluids & a nightly cup of warm tea & a bath. the tea & the bath seemed to stimulate things & we would have him sit on the potty right after the tea and bath. he'd usually go right away & sometimes would get out of the tub to go. I know it is difficult because your son is still too young to reason with but I agree being gentle & nonconfrontational about it is the best approach. Good luck. i hope you are able to resolve this a lot sooner than we did!