At What Age Is It OK to Start Shaving for Little Girls?

My daughter is now 9 and has been asking for the past 2 summers. I haven't given in yet but was thinking possibly this coming summer I would do it FOR HER!!! Good luck with whatever you do but now it's cold so that should buy you some time. I know it has here, she hasn't asked since they've been in long pants. 8)

IMO, it is okay to start shaving or using Nair, VEET, Etc.
It is terrible to be made fun of and this is such a simple way to halt the comments by the other kids. If shaving will help with her self esteem, then go for it!!

I can't believe that 7 yr olds are asking her when she's going to start shaving! I think she's way too young to start this. Most of my friends and I started around 6th grade, and I remember all the times my mom had to put a styptic pencil on my cuts. It's none of my business, but please don't give in to pressure and let your daughter be a kid. Kids don't shave, they don't even think about it. And if you're saying to yourself "She doesn't know how dark it is", I'm Puerto Rican. I've got dark arm hair, dark facial hair, dark leg hair, but the 25% German in me gave me fair skin. Sorry to go off, but I get very sensitive about this. Nobody lets their kids be little anymore, after age 6 they all have to turn into UFC fighters or major pop stars with all the hoochie mama accessories.

Dear K.,

My questions are: would you let your 8 year old use a sharp chef's knife in the kitchen? Would you let your 8 year old use a box cutter or utility knife? If the answer is no, then why would you let her use a razor blade on herself or will you be shaving her legs for her? No matter how "safe" they say razors are now-a-days, they still are incredibly sharp blades that can cut and scar (I still have my 14 year old "beauty" wounds at 37).

If your answer is yes, then my question is are you going to have her peers at school dictate her decisions about beauty and self-esteem?

This could be such an opportunity to boost your daughter's self-image and confidence. At 8, why would she shave?

The boys will be excited when they get hair in a few years yet the girls will be pushing to shave, wear make-up, get a bra at younger and younger ages to feel older and more mature. These things do not equate to maturity, they only equate to how strong the media is perpetuating the "beauty myth" and how strong peer-pressure can be.

Your daughter is incredible, dynamic and beautiful, dark hair on her legs and all. Shaving her legs, if she eventually chooses to, is the beginning ritual into sexuality, courtship, and sex. Are you prepared now to discuss sex, safe-sex, relationships, and heartbreak with your 8 year old? If no, then why would you initiate this ritual into sexuality? It seems to be such a mixed message; shave to prepare yourself as more attractive and sexually interesting but is 8 years old an age to begin courtship? It is no coincidence that shaving has in the past been attached to puberty and physical development to being physically able to procreate.

And then there is the whole discussion of beauty. What is beautiful? In the USA it is female bodies prebubescent in shape(waifishness and below healthy BMI images) and hairlessness(girls younger and younger are being brought by thier mother's to "spas" to be waxed hairless). In European and Asian and African countries it can be with or without hair in beauty magazines, TV, and advertisements.

Does her dark leg hair make her any less beautiful?

If you encourage her to shave at 8, what messages are you sending to your daughter about her beauty, her sexuality, and the influential strength of her peers?

Obviously, I would discourage you to support shaving at 8 years old. But, you are her mother, you love and cherish her and you hold her heart and well-being as paramount. I just wanted to give you some thoughts from the other side of the coin.

Every generation watches children's childhood get shorter & shorter while we parents act shocked as younger children have sex, begin drinking, and try drugs. We blame it on the Media and their peers but what are we as parents perpetuating in taking our children's childhoods away?

Fondly,
ann

K.,
I went had the same question this time last year. My daughter is now 11 and had really hairy legs. I think I was more concerned than she was. I waited until summer and then the subject just happened to come out. She wanted to and I said yes. We went out and bought razors just for her. She has done well. The novelity wore off and she does not do it that often. I would wait and see if she says something. I think starting it at the transition is a perfect idea but keep in mind that a lot of changes happen then. My daughter just started middle school(6th grade)and it was a big transition and a lot to keep track of. But it was a time where she did start thinking about how she looks where she never did before. Good luck. YOu know your daughter and you will do what is best.
J.

I've never known anyone who allowed their girls to start shaving until they started Junior High/Middle School, which is 6th/7th grade. It sounds like your daughter may have accessive hair growth so you may want to play it by ear. The thing to think about is once she starts, she can't stop. And she needs to be mature enough to be able to shave herself without mistakes or complaints. Whenever you think she is mature enough to deal with the daily routine, or near daily, then give it a shot but you can't go back. Kids will say things. Girls are conditioned by the media (TV, magazines) to have their bodies be a certain way. They'll start commenting at a young age and will even ask a 3 year old when they're going to shave because they may have hair on their legs. It's the nature of the beast these days.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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Hi K., It really is up to you. In our house our girls didn't start shaving until the summer between 6th and 7th grades (for us our girls are just over 12 at that time). I will admit that this is driving our youngest daughter nuts. She has been begging to shave since our middle one started! But then she always wants to do what her two older sisters are doing. Isn't it silly that at age 8 they even have to think about stuff like this? Why can't our kids just be kids...playing with dolls, riding bikes and having fun just a bit longer? Best wishes.

She has darker hair on her legs because she has darker hair on her head. Shaving should be done when she hits puberty and NEEDS to shave. She should be growing hair in "other places" too, like her underarms. Once she NEEDS to shave that, then the legs should be done. I would wait till it needs to be done.
I think that you should have a talk with her to raise her self esteem. She is way to young to be responsible to shave. You should just make her feel like it is ok. Some people have darker hair than others.
When it is time for her to shave, I would definitely steer clear of Nair as most mothers have already suggetsed.

If it makes you feel any better, I was in the same position and felt the exact same way that you do.. my daughter is also 8 and this summer we went through the same thing. She is now in second grade and over the summer I ended up shaving them for her.. I felt very guilty about it however... I only did it twice over the course of the entire summer, and now I am relieved that it is the season for long pants... I dont remember being allowed to shave unitl like you, at least 5th grade.. Good luck!

I too have wondered this. My daughter is 8 and she has hairy legs too. I think if she wants to this summer I'll let her. Today with all the hormones and chemicals found in the stuff we eat girls & boys develop more quickly then we parents were kids.

Also, children today seem to be more worried about what others think, than how they feel.

Do what's right for you and your daughter.

It's hard to figure when to start stuff and when you're letting your child grow up too fast. I figured with my girls, that when they started to ask is when I'd say, "okay", because my mom set an age and I remember being embarrassed and having to wait. What ended up happening in our household is that as soon as the older daughter started shaving, the younger one followed within a month or two. They both use blades, but if I were going to start at 8, I guess I'd want an electric shaver for her so you wouldn't have to worry about cuts. That said, you might want her to shave her legs for the first time, because the electric razor might not work so well until after the stubble is short.

Agewise, I think mine started around 10 and 12. It can get to be a pain, too, because once you start, you end up having to shave not to feel stubbly, but it's SO nice not to feel awkward about your looks.

I don't think I would worry about age so much as about her reasons for wanting to do it, and her ability to be responsible with the razor, whether electric or blade.

Hmmm...I am blonde & my girls are too so I won't come to this issue for a while.

I know my mom started me on Nair rather than shaving. I think I will go this route too. No razors in their hands, it stinks but...just for a few minutes & then the hair is gone. There is also that newer stuff that works w/ a plastic "razor" w/ no blades that scrapes off the cream from the leg.

If the kids are saying something, then I would probably start considering it when the weather gets warmer. Hate that it is that way but kids can be cruel & if there is an easy way to address the concern w/o having to go to shaving, I think that is a reasonable thing to do.

i was on swim team and starting shaving around 11 years old. another thing you can do if you are worried about her shaving her legs is to use nair or veet. remind her once she starts shaving she can not stop and the hair will come in stubbly and scratchy. tell her not to worry about the other kids and what they say.

I'm Italian and Greek so I know all too well about your DD's hair troubles. I don't remember getting teased though, it's a shame how mean kids can be. I was in 6th grade when I started (though young, I started school early so I was only 11 at the time), my mom used my dads trimmer I believe, nothing with a blade. Definately do not use Nair. Some skin is very sensitive to it to begin with and she could end up with scabs, bleeding, rash.... lots of things you don't want, and TBH, when my legs get bad now, it doesn't work anyway. I think you're right to wait, or ask a doctor about when a good time is.

K.,
I think your idea about waiting until her middle school is good. After all, it is a commitment and she'll have to keep doing it! I'm sorry she's being bothered about it--by classmates and by having attention called to it. It seems that with girls, it's always something (shaving. periods, bras, etc.) LOL
Life is like a camera lens--it focuses in, then out, of an issue for awhile--hopefully this O. will get blurred for a few more years.
Make sure to expose her to ideas of GLOBAL beauty--hair and all!
Good luck!

I think my daughter was in fourth grade - maybe third - I thought maybe she was a little young, but she really nagged, and I knew it was important to her. I bought her an electric shaver for Christmas - I figured even if she was young, it was safe!

My rule was/is middle school (6th grade). I think they are way to young at 8. I am pretty sure most girls remember the teasing and waiting until they were allowed. My sisters, friends and i laugh about it today.

I have a 7 year old that wants to shave because the kdis make fun of her because of her dark hair on her legs. I think she is too young to shave so i asked teh dr if it is ok to use nair and he said no taht she is too young to shave or use anything so? I guess she will have to wait. Ask her Dr. what he/she thinks about the nair.
Jade

No Nair! I really think it depends on the severity of the hair color/thickness. I myself am german, and I have Black hair. I was 11 when my mother allowed me to shave. I think that was a good idea, although my sister was 10. I know a neighbor girl who is 9, and not allowed to shave yet.

I've never had the problem, but here's my two cents. If I were you I would let her try it with whatever works, and see how it goes. One less thing to worry about, like teasing from others, is all the better. Life has enough stresses in itself. Hairy legs and/or underarms is one you can do something about. At least it will grow back. It's not a permanent decision, like,say, a tattoo (the real kind).

My daughter is 11 and in 5th grade. She started shaving under her arms last year since she is a swimmer (it was very necessary). Then she started shaving her legs in September. I waited as long as I could & got her pediatrician's approval.

A. D

Kids are starting younger and younger these years. I was well into middle school before I even thought of shaving my legs. I see so many young girls that have the dark color hair and I look at it as that it is there culture. Not sure, but the girls that are doing the teasing are more then likely to have the mom's at home that do the makeup thing and have to look a certain way.

Talk to you daughter, let her know that it is ok. That everyone does shaving and things like that at different times and that there are some people out there that don't shave at all. I had a roommate that didn't shave, because that is how she felt or what she believed in.

I am a mother of 3 teenage girls & grew up in a family with 4 girls. I have always told my daughters age 12. That's usually when they are responsible enough to shave by theirselves.