Attachment/Seperation Anxiety Help!

Hi L.,

My name is B. and I have an 18 month old boy. My son went through that phase (and sometimes still) were he was attached to my hip. Around that age it is common to have seperation anxiety. Sometimes I would feel overwhelmed to get the house work done and bond with him. I found it helpful to use a back pack. I would be able to do dishes, laundry and vacum. I liked it because I knew he was safe and out of the harms way, he like it because he was up high and loved seeing himself in mirrors. I was able to get mine on Ebay at a real good price.
also there good up to 50 lbs (which I don't see myself doing) I hope this helps.

Get a sling - made of fabric with usually a ring to pull fabric through for adjustment. I have one from mayawrap.com but there are plenty available - google baby slings on the internet. Way better then a baby bjorn. It is great because it provides a lot of support for holding the baby and gives you 1 and sometimes, especially at that age, 2 hands free. Also great because they are so easy to use in different positions. Baby will be secure and happy (and then, so will you), you won't get sore from holding him all the time and you'll get something done! Just think, in a few years, you'll have to beg him to sit on your lap for a snuggle! (-; Best Wishes! J.

I have a son who is now 3..My son started going through this stage @ about 8 mos-i was told this is normal in the 7-9 month stage-it is exactly what you called it, separation anxiety.
I was told to make sure when i leave the room to reasure him that i would be back shortly-he still cried, but after awhile he knew i was coming back. also, when you leave the room try and still talk w/ your little one-maybe you already do this though?? It is usually just a phase, before you know it he will be ready to explore everything on his own!

I love the peek-a-boo idea! I do that with my daughter all the time! Sometimes that is the only way I can read a magazine or get a bite to eat! I just put the cereal box in front of me, peek behind, eat a bite, and continue with the game! Thankfully my daughter isn't super clingy, although she definitely has her moments. One thing that was a lifesaver for us when she goes through the more clingy stages was a jumperoo. She absolutely loves to bounce, and she likes it much more than an exersaucer. It has music, toys, and adjustable height. If he likes to bounce, maybe that would keep him busy long enough for you to get a few things done. They retail for about $60, but I've seen them used for about 30 dollars on craigslist.org in the baby/kids section (if you aren't familiar with this website, choose OH, then Cincinnati, to get to our local area). Good luck- And this too shall pass!

I think it will just be a phase. My daughter did this from age 11 months until 14 months. I thought I was going to lose my mind! She's 16 months now and life is good again. Good luck!

Definitely a normal phase! My first went through this at around that age, and my 2nd has been in this phase for the last month (he's 9 mos, so started at 8 mos). So, just keep in mind that it's normal, healthy, and *temporary* - hopefully that will make it a little easier on you mentally. Seven months is still so young! They still really do need us close by, as much as possible, and in the long run, your responsiveness is way more valuable than a month or so of completed daily chores (but I know it's hard to ignore the chores - drives me batty sometimes, even when I'm telling myself "let it go" and trying to think in the long term).

Sounds like you do have some good strategies already for getting stuff done without having to let him scream. Here are a few more possibilities that we use (since I personally don't get too much done when my little guy is crying):

* when he's just having a tough day (where he seems really fragile, cries every time you're out of view), just pop him in a good, comfortable baby carrier like an ergo carrier, patapum carrier, or sutemi carrier - easy on, easy off, can wear them on your back (out of the way), puts the weight on your hips and evenly distributed over your shoulders, a great way to get them to fall asleep when you're on the move (as you're vaccuming, unloading dishwasher, changing loads of laundry, etc. - assuming that you have to do these things)
http://www.portablebaby.com (for the ergo, and videos to see what it looks like, how to wear it) http://store.peppermint.com/sutemi-pack.html
http://store.attachedtobaby.com/detail.aspx?ID=105&Na...

* for showers, the peek-a-boo idea mentioned earlier is great, and if you have a baby that sits very sturdily, you can always stick a small towel on the floor of the tub or shower with some toys to play with while you take a nice leisurely shower

And now I have to go because *my* little guy needs me (see? it's universal!). Just remember, this is NOT a permanent phase, he will grow out of it soon (especially the more responsive we are to our little babies, the more secure they feel). Hang in there! And don't hesitate to get help from your husband, partner, friends, parents, or a mother's helper. Mom's definitely need to recharge, too, and this phase can be really draining. :)

This is extremely normal at this age. I also have a 7 month old and about a month ago she started crying when anyone she didn't know tried to hold her. If I am holding her, she will hide her head on me when someone comes up she doesn't know. She also hates me to put her down and will straighten her body so I can't sit her on the floor. I use a baby wrap type sling for times like that (they now sell them at Babys R Us), or I ask my husband to hold her. Sometimes I have my 6 year old entertain her for awhile. Good luck. It's a phase or normal attachment and some days will be better than others.

Hi L. my son is 8 months old and is finally getting out of that stage he started around his 7 month b-day doing the exact things your talking about it drove me crazy! He would even throw fits if his dad was holding him and he seen me walk by!!The only time i could get anything done is if i put in his baby einstein dvd and put him in his walker in front of the tv that stuff is hypnotizing its like crack for babies lol!!That gave me like a couple hours to clean not sure if your little one likes them or has ever seen them but its just a bunch of toys and different symphony music.I also bought a walker so he could follow me when i left the room instead of being stuck in his exersaucer that helped alot just made sure he can't fall down stairs.good luck and it doesn't make you a bad mom for wanting alone time.After all we deserve it!

Hi L.!
I have an almost-one-year-old little boy and he did the exact same thing at around 7 months. He will grow out of it, but just to warn you, it crops up again (not as bad) at around 12 months, and then again around 2. There are so many new experiences and people at this age, they need the comfort of the familiar. There are some games that you can play to help him realize that you're coming back - peek-a-boo is great. One way that I played it with my son was to go to the door of the room that I was going into and peek back around it at him. Do this several times, lengthening the time you're gone each time by 30 sec. or so longer, and then when you come back into the room say "peek-a-boo" just like you're still playing the game. It took him about a week to figure that out and then he was a little better.

One way that I fixed the "getting a shower while he's screaming" problem was to buy a semi-clear shower curtain and again, play peek-a-boo with him through it while showering. He still fussed a little, but at least I was clean!

Above all else, you're not a bad mother! There are some times when I had to get something done (i.e. a phone call made, something cooked, etc.) and I put him in his crib with some toys and let him scream. It won't hurt him, you know he's safe in there, and it's good for them to learn that they don't always get what they want when they want it (yes, even at 7 months they can understand that). Plus, sometimes my little guy would wear himself out and fall asleep in there (extra bonus - then I could get lots of stuff done!) Believe me, I don't get much done now with him only taking one nap and walking all over the place.
Good Luck, and hope your little one grows out of this phase soon!
E. (SAHM of James - almost one)

I am a SAHm and child care provider and I watch a little girl who is the same way and only a month or so younger than your son. only it's not just mommy she comes here and does it too, her mother and I have talked cause we both think it's a problem, no one can get anything done when this little lady is awake, unless you let her scream. but so far tehre have been no better solutions, I have 3 kids of my own and 2 step kids all under the age of 7 and they all went through it and grew out of it but I don't remember it being so bad but maybe that's just the minds way of glossing over thier infant days so i can look back and smile. Suficve it to say that he will outgrow it and you are not a bad mom if he cries and in a few years you'll look back and think he never could have really been that bad. it's a tough age when they can finally leave you and go off to do play on their own after months of being so close to mommy all the time. godd luck and hang in there. if it gets that bad have a friend or daddy help so you can take care of yourself also because you are no good to anyone if you start neglecting yourself. good luck.