Baby Crying over Dog's Toy

Updated on June 07, 2010
S.S. asks from Los Angeles, CA
8 answers

My 1-year-old has recently taken a fancy to one of our dog's beloved squeaky squirrel toy. They'll play tug of war with it which both my baby and dog loves but when the dog inevitably takes the toy away, my baby starts crying! He's too young to understand that the dog isn't being mean but I feel like that's how my baby's understanding the situation. I don't want to take the toy away from the dog b/c that's her toy! But I don't want my baby to keep having these fits either. Any of you ever have the same problem and how did you deal with it? Thanks!

1 mom found this helpful

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D.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

Distraction -- and it works in so many other situations. When the baby and dog start playing with the same toy, give the baby a toy of his own and also distract the dog by tossing the dog's toy and play "fetch".

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello! I don't want to be negative, just want to help. You didn't mention any anxiety about your dog hurting your baby at all, but that would be my concern. Just as a dog and baby lover, I try not to set up my pets or my children in situations where failure to stay safe is not really their responsibility or within their capabilities...I just don't think it is fair to our dog or our son to be competing, even playfully, for the same toy.

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I agree with the previous statement that the dog's toy is the dog's toy. Your 1 year old shouldn't be playing with it. I realize that you said that they play tug-of-war with it... but the reality is that that is a very bad thing for them to be doing. Mainly, because when playing tug-of-war with a dog, the human should ALWAYS win. period. It is a reinforcement of who is dominant in the relationship. It is perfectly fine to play tug-of-war with a dog (don't misunderstand), but the human must win at the end of the game. So not only is your child possibly in danger of an accidental (or even purposeful) nip, but by not being big enough to WIN, they are teaching the dog that it is dominant over them. You don't want that. EVER.

Give your dog his own toys. And your baby his own. If you want to let your son play with the dog with toys, then give your son a ball to toss for the dog or something, but NO MORE tug-of-war.

If your son wants to have the dog's toy for himself, then you must teach him that he can't have it. Just like you would teach him that he can't play with your fragile items, or the kitchen knives. They are not appropriate playthings for him. Of course he won't like it. So what? Teach him to respect your dog and they will be great pals when your son is old enough to actually play with the dog independently.

2 moms found this helpful

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

Get rid of the toy. Problem solved.

Your daughter is crying because she wants what she wants, not out of anger. The dog is a dog and wants the toy for himself. You can teach a one year old to leave something alone, but is will take tons of time and to be honest is really isn't worth all the work.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Columbus on

the dogs toy should stay the dogs toy. dogs need there own belongings too, the dog already had to get use to a baby. find your baby other things to play with. she, at this point, doesn't have the emotional reasoning skills to know what mean is, she just wants it. try redirecting to other toys. or take her somewhere else to play.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I agree with Brianne,
The dog's toy is the dog's toy. Period.
If you have a well behaved dog, the dog won't chew up and tear up your kids toys and will stick to their own. This is a good thing.
At one year old, your son has to understand that playing with the dog with a dog toy is fine, until the dog doesn't want to play anymore and the toy is the dog's toy.
I don't hate dogs by any means, but I'm not a great lover of them either, and it totally creeped me out letting my little ones deal with the slobber, etc. We had a wonderful lab that the baby could roll the ball and the dog would bring it back, but after a while, enough was enough and the dog grew tired of the game or whatever. She wanted to take off with her ball and play elsewhere.
All you have to say is "Doggie is done sharing her toy now. Let's go find one of your toys."

If he wants to cry, let him. The dog's toy is not his toy. The dog isn't being mean and your son shouldn't think of it that way. Yes, he's only one, but this is the perfect age for him to learn that the dog has toys and he has his own.
He won't be traumatized by it.
All pets...even cats, are happy to play for so long and then they're over it.
Little kids have a harder time with those types of transitions like having fun at the park, but then it's time to leave and they might cry. It's not a matter of anyone being mean.

You just have to reinforce the idea that the toy belongs to the dog and when the dog is done playing, that's the way it is. He'll get the hang of it.

Best wishes.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Get your baby her own toy... the same squeaky squirrel toy.

Your baby is real young... they don't know how to 'share' yet... nor does a 2 year old nor 3 year old.
Its a process in development... and it takes time for their cognitive and emotional development to mature.
So keep expectations age appropriate...
and yes, a Baby WILL have 'fits' whenever things are taken away... or when they can't do something, or when they are frustrated.
It is developmental based. It won't be 'extinguished' nor overnight. AND at this age, they can't really 'talk' nor express themselves in a palatable way... like a 10 year old. So, they fuss and/or have fits.
Its a learning process.
A baby this age does not even have fully developed emotions, nor comprehension for it.

Also, 1-2 even some 3 year olds... do NOT "play" interactively in a social way... they "parallel play." Look this up online... thus, in interactions, they will not have social manners inherently yet, and at this age, they are territorial... and are "me" oriented. Developmental based.

All the best,
Susan

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

As a parent of 3 human children, and a long-time dog Rescuer and rehabilitator, I have seen this many times. I agree with others here who say that the dog's toy is for the dog, and your child will need to learn that sometimes he can't have what he wants. That's how life works- and the sooner he learns it, the sooner he won't be having tantrums over it. :-)

No matter how sweet your dog is, dogs have instincts that you can't change, and they can unintentionally hurt a child. Please do not let your baby play tug-of-war with the dog, or even play unsupervised. I can't tell you how many dogs have been given up because they accidentally hurt a family member- and in some cases, with extremely serious consequences for the child (needing surgery, permanent scarring). In this case, small dogs can do as much damage as large ones.
Dog toys and kid toys should not be shared, period. This goes both ways- don't let your dog even touch your son's toys. Instead, get a few balls or frisbee-type toys that you and your son can play with with her. These should be separated from your son's toys, so there's no confusion.

One last thing: consider having a trainer come in for an afternoon and show you the safest way to have kids and dogs together. This will help you when your son has friends over as well, because often other children don't know how to behave around dogs, and it's important that you (and your dog) know how to stay in control of that. Ths training is something I've done for families for years. Please don't be offended, I've just seen so many tragedies because kids and their dogs haven't been given proper boundaries.

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