Biting -- Eek!

Updated on February 09, 2011
N.L. asks from Arlington, MA
10 answers

This morning I took something away from my 11 month old that she did not want to give up and she grabbed my hand and bit it really hard. I immediately picked her up said "No! No biting," in a stern tone while trying to make eye contact (which she did not want to do). A few minutes later I sat her on my lap and tried this thing her daycare teacher suggested, which was to gently bite my own hand and say "no biting," but I have no idea if that sunk in at all.

Does anybody have any suggestions to nip this in the bud? I would absolutely hate if she bit one of the other babies at daycare.

Update: I'm glad other people didn't like the biting yourself thing. I thought it was a bit strange and counterintuitive, but I figured the daycare people must know something I didn't.

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K.G.

answers from Burlington on

Flick to the nose right when it happens (mine laughed at me when I said no and redirected). two times was all it took. I would also medicate for teething as that was the big trigger for my little one.

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K.T.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think your discipline was just fine. She needs to know that biting is inappropriate and that you are not happy when she does that. I'm not sure about biting yourself as an example...I don't think I would have done that. I think the most appropriate thing you can do for an 11 month old is to correct her immediately so that she associates her action with your disappointment. It will probably take a few more times of "catching" her and discipline, plus she may bite a friend at daycare before she "gets" it and then stops. Biting is an age appropriate action...not a good one, but many kids do this.

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

Start signing with her regularly and consistently. She is figuring out how to get her needs met when frustrated. Give her more tools to do so! It is not an instant answer, but a long lasting one she can call on as she grows. Many kids get more frustrated as they get bigger and want to communicate their needs but their verbal language is still developing.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Your first response was perfect. If you catch her about to bite again, do the exact same thing. She will get the idea.. that there is no biting with your disappointment.. Biting her back at this age is still a little dicey.. She may get confused if you are biting her..

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

You did fine. I wouldn't keep showing her because you may just make biting more interesting. I don't really like the idea of biting yourself.

When my oldest was young and at that age he started biting and I was told to bite him back. I know, sounds awful, but I was careful. I'm not sure it was the best method, but it worked.

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N.S.

answers from Boston on

I have heard recently on tv could have been the dr's to try and their hand in way when they go to bite. This way they bite themselves and get a feel for it. Otherwise redirection and distraction often work best. Watch for timing as often when children are tired their "bad" behavior spikes. It's an awful phase that can be wearing on all (parents and teachers), but there is no magic cure.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Biting is a way for her to show she is displeased with what is happening, and it is completely normal at this age. That doesn't mean you have to put up with it, though.

Try to prevent and redirect her to other things. This is the best option for her age. If she does bite, avoid reacting. The more reaction she gets, the more likely it will continue. Just remove her from the situation (take away what she wanted), and don't say anything else about it. She'll begin to realize that biting gets her nothing.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I absolutely disagree with the daycare suggestion. The "experts" don't always know what they are doing. I would think that imitating or mimicking the action you don't want her to do would be absolutely the wrong thing to do. As others have suggested, biting her back is a poor idea - I can't imagine how hurting someone would teach her not to hurt. That's why most experts say that corporal punishment and spanking don't work - it teaches the kid that the bigger person gets to do the hurting and the little one has to just take it. That's the problem with bullying - it makes people feel victimized. It teaches that hurting is okay for some to do, but not them.

I think negative attention is better, in the child's mind, that no attention at all. So getting a reaction from you is what she wants. I would redirect IF POSSIBLE and if it's immediate. Otherwise, I would say "no biting" or whatever your phrase of choice is, and put her in a situation where she has no toy at all - a play pen (empty) or her crib (empty). Then leave the room. She's almost one year old, so wait at least one minute before engaging with her. She will quickly figure out that biting (or whatever negative behavior she's doing) doesn't get her the toy she had, and it doesn't get her anything else either! That's the only hesitation I have about redirecting - it works sometimes, but for other kids, it teaches, "If I don't get that toy and I bite, I still get something else fun to play with."

And I know you would hate it if she bit another child in day care, but I'd be really shocked if the daycare teacher then took her in her lap and gave her attention, and gently bit her own hand. I think that's nonsense.

Good luck - they all go through this or something similar. Just be consistent.

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D.M.

answers from Boston on

My daughter went through a 6 month phase where she bit when she got frustrated or didn't get what she wanted. Once she understood that if she bit someone and they dropped the object, that the biting worked and continued to do it. Sometimes she bit even when no toys were involved, but maybe if someone got too close.

It was a phase that she grew out of with a lot of discipline and understanding how it hurt. She did end up getting bit herself, which I think might have helped slow down and stop her biting.

Good luck, and remember, even if it does happen, it's only a phase but be diligent about the reprimands.

R.H.

answers from Boston on

My son (10 months) is starting to do this too! its like he just got the teeth, i know he's still "teething" but hes definitly doing it because he's frustrated. I say, "ouch! __ no biting!!" But seriously, the sign launguage, i've been doing that with him and saying the words aloud. He's been saying up, and signing for "more, or all done", getting so much better! gd luck!~

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