Can't Sleep - Dayton,OH

Updated on August 07, 2008
B.S. asks from Dayton, OH
37 answers

I am a mother of 3 children ages 11,8,5 and one due in November. My problem is this, I just can't get a good night's sleep. I know being pregnant probably has something to do with this but do any of you moms have any tips on how to relax. I hate being up in the middle of the night and being tired during the day. Sometimes I feel like my mind just can't stop thinking about things. The responsibility is overwhelming at times. How do you mom's handle this? I appreciate any advice you could give me.

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So What Happened?

I am overwhelmed at the number of responses I received!! Thanks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH to all of you for all of your ideas. I will try them and let you know what worked the best. Also, just knowing that I'm not alone with this is comforting in and of itself!! I'm so glad that I have a place to ask questions and have so many wonderful moms reply. Again Thank you ALL!!

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M.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

It looks like you've received tons of good advice. I'll add two more that are similar to what's already been mentioned. 1) Drink warm milk before bed. There's something in the milk that relaxes you. Don't have any caffeine and that includes cutting back on chocolate.
2) When you want to sleep, try going through the alphabet picking a name that starts with each letter. It can be all girls names, all boys names, you make the rules. It sounds crazy, but it really works!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Terre Haute on

Hi B.,
Oh man, I remember those days & nights. What I did was take a nice hot lavender bath with a little bit of epsom salts to relax the muscles. Than I would ask my fiance if he would rub me down with either baby oil or lavender baby lotion. As he would massage my feet and legs, I'd be out before he could finish with anything else.
There were times though that that wouldn't work, so what I did was write down everything that was going on in my mind and think of solutions to the problems. Once I wrote it all down, I would lay down and close my eyes and imagine doing those things exactly or I would think about the unborn baby, what it would look like, the way it would cry, the way it would smell, the way life would be as soon as it arrives and sometimes I'd find myself sleeping peacefully!
Hot tea always helped me as well!! Good Luck and Congrats!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from Cleveland on

I, too, had serious insomnia while pregnant. My OB suggested I take Unisom, which is category A (studies show no risk for anomalies in any trimester). It worked like a charm. I helped me fall asleep, but did not keep me from waking up to go to the bathroom and I was not groggy in the morning. You could even take just a half of a pill (12.5mg, normal dose is 25mg), and see how it works. There are a few different kinds of Unisom, you just need the original, not extended release or gel tabs. A perfect solution, if you asked me! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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M.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

As a physical therapist I would tell my patients to keep a journal by the bed to write out all their thoughts before trying to sleep. Then you know you can put it out of your head to get a good nights sleep. Also, some energy work would be beneficial. As someone who teaches people how to use essential oils for cleaning and for personal use, I highly recommend lavender essential oil. I am a consultant with The Happy Soul and if you get on the website, you'll see some lavender room/linen spray, a roll-on blend called "sleepy time" and pure lavender essential oil that you can put in a bath, or even directly on your skin. I could go on....meditation, exercise, prayer. Pick one or two and give it a try! Many blessings to you.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Three things I can suggest because they were suggested to me.
Drink a cup of tea, hot cocoa, warm milk, something along those lines about 9 p.m. Do not have any heavy caffiene drinks after 7 p.m.
Do not watch any heavy action television after 9 p.m.
Take a warm bubble bath when possible and pamper yourself for about 1/2 an hour then:
Find something boring to read and go to bed with this wonderful book about 10:30 and read yourself to sleep. This is not horror stories, mysteries, or heavy action thriller type books, I find Harlequin Romance works for me.
It is hard to shut down your mind. It might help earlier in the evening to make a to-do list for the next day and post it on the refrigerator or where ever. When you find yourself starting to think about things after 10:30 p.m., just take several deep calming breaths and force yourself to pick up the mindless book and focus on it.
Good luck B., I know what you are going through!!
By the way, those simple things above were suggested to me by my physician when I finally went to him and discussed the problem!!

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

This sounds REALLY silly but try holding something in your hand over the edge of the bed. I have a pint jar candle that I use. It gives your mind something to focus on. Also put a pillow on the floor for what ever you are holding to fall onto so it doesn't wake you up when it falls lol.

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S.A.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I haven't had sleep problems much and I put it down to the fact that I always read before going to bed. If I let myself think about what's going on in my life at bedtime then I wouldn't be able to settle down so easily. When I read a book I am really enjoying I tend to read until I can't keep my eyes open. I fall asleep very quickly at that point. Even if I am later to bed than normal I always read at least a page or two. It's like my pacifier. And I find it's often the simple things that work best. Having a clean and tidy house at bedtime works too. If you don't have anything pressing to do first thing in the morning it helps to settle down. And I am a mother of three myself. I understand how overwhelming it can all be at times. Take care and remember that pregnancy doesn't really help in the sleeping area. I had carpal tunnel that gave me a lot of sleeping difficulties. And it didn't go away until delivery.

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T.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Yes, part of it is hormones. But you may have some kind of sleep apnea from hormones. Try Ginko Biloba (double check with your doctor) 3 times a day. That should help you sleep better. Also, take a REALLY GOOD calcium supplement at night. That will help relax your body.

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T.M.

answers from Terre Haute on

I use self hypnosis which is just a fancy term for a relaxation technique. If you are interested in learning how to do it, drop me a message. I'm not trying to sell anything or push any products on you. It is very simple to do and you don't need anything to do it. I just don't want to spend too much time posting it if youre not interested in learning it. I have found it useful in controlling my panic disorder, relaxing, parenting, and just my everyday life. Let me know. No matter what you decide, I wish you the best of luck. All the best, Shannon G.
PS. Congrats on the newest addition to your family. I know you're feeling overwhelmed but you can do this!

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

YOu need some down time in the evening to wind down. Make time in the evening for yourself and take a relaxing bath. Have a routine in the evening so your kids are bed in at time that allows you that time.Start training your 11 year old to help you too. He/ she will start to learn responsibility. Remember to give him/her tasks that would be appropriate for an 11 year old. And talk about you feel with your husband. Even if he can't help you physically(which I am sure there is one task he can help you with) he can support you emotionally and mentally. Our husbands were designed by God to be handle a alot more than we do. The key is to talk and ask for help in a non nagging way. I was about your age when my ability to handle stress began to be harder. I have 4 children and a SAHM and my husband has always pitched in to help. I know that I am very lucky and blessed because most of my friends don't have that type of support.But a lot of times we just need to talk to our spouse and not be afraid to ask for help. The 40's don't get any easier(I am 44 now). Best of luck to you.

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N.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi B., I'm a 39 year old working mom of two and I drink Mona Vie...been sleeping great ever since! It's safe for pregnant moms and babies too. N. L.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

If you're mulling over what needs to be done, etc......WRITE IT DOWN & forget about it. Keep a notebook by your bed.

Chamomile tea, CD's of ocean waves, wind chimes, etc., make SURE you're plenty hydrated. You can sleep poorly just due to lack of hydration!

READ! Take your mind off what you're thinking about. Almost ALWAYS this puts me back to sleep. Lots of times I'll get up and read my Bible and then if I still am wide awake, I'll read another book for some time. I seem to always end up back asleep. It CERTAINLY takes my mind off whatever I'm stewing about.

If this is early or in the middle of the nite, I DONT lay there & try to go back to sleep. If I do.....IT NEVER WORKS. HOWEVER...if I take the reading approach (and sometimes praying too) I ALWAYS end up sleeping and whatever time I spend sleeping ends up being well rested sleep!

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V.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

are u drinking caffiene during the day? if yes maybe try cutting that out by 12pm.?? i take one tylenol before bed just to help my body relax. Baths are another one of my favorite things even though i know i can't stay too long since i am pregant in hot water. Maybe a 15 minute bath. Is your room cool. in the summer i have trouble sleeping if i am too hot. If u watch TV or use the internet i know they can cause u to have trouble sleeping if u do that right before bed. i hate not being able to sleep so i hope something on the boards helps u

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B.T.

answers from Cleveland on

I have had the same problem during my pregnancies. Something that has helped me is reading at night in bed. Don't read a self-help book or anything that makes you think about your life. I try to read books that help my mind escape reality for a little while and I usually am able to put my thoughts aside and go to sleep.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

During my pregnancy I also had trouble sleeping. My Dr. had me take 1/2 dosage of unisom, some of my friends told me that they have taken benadryl. The unisom helped me to relax @ night w/ good night rest. You can talk yo your ob & see what s/he says. Good luck, I know that it is the worst feeling not to be rested.

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Talk to your Dr. about Melatonin. It's completely natural and works well, but you need to clear it with him due to your pregnancy. No morning hangover either. Good luck.

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C.R.

answers from Toledo on

I feel for you! Just do whatever it takes...you need your sleep. I had to sleep on my couch. It was the only place I was able to get any decent sleep. It made it kinda hard because my husband likes to stay up later than me...but oh well! Good luck! I hope you start getting the sleep you deserve and need!

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K.H.

answers from Youngstown on

Shaklee makes a Gentle Sleep Complex that I took while I was pregnant. It is completely natural and I just took 1 tablet instead of 4 and it helped me get sleep, especially towards the end of my pregnancy. I worked until the day I had my son, so I was so glad to be able to find something that helped me sleep.

A friend of mine actually took it during her early labor so that she could rest before the real work came. You can find it on www.shaklee.net/gemsoffire

I have also heard that if you take calcium before going to bed it will help you fall asleep, you can find a great calcium supplement on that website too.

My husband works a lot too, so I know how you feel. Except I only have one, but I do work from home. Congratulations on the new addition!

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P.B.

answers from Canton on

I sometimes take a warm bath and drink something hot before I go to bed. I have had nights like that before and it drives me crazy, especially if I have to get up early the next morning for work. I have, a couple time, resorted to Tylenal PM or Advil PM. I do, however suggest you talk to your DR before going that route since you're pregnant. Sometimes I read. That always makes me sleepy. Or I do a puzzle book and when I get to where I want so much to finish it, I am too sleepy to keep my eyes open to do it. Hope you get some sleep soon.

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M.A.

answers from Muncie on

I just received an e-mail that said celery is a natural sleep aid. Don't know if it's true but maybe you could go online and just google food sleep aides and see what happens. Good luck.

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J.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I know where you are coming from. I have problems sleeping sometimes and definitely had them when I was pregnant. I agree with most of the suggestions below, but sometimes you need some medical help. I took Unisom when I was pregnant. It is over the counter and totally safe. It is the plain one, for lack of a better word. My husband reccomended it, he is a physician, but I would still talk to you doctor. Sometimes taking it for a day or two sets your body back on track. Don't be ashamed to take soemtthing like this, a well rested mom is a better one.

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S.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Try journaling your thoughts. Sometimes writting things down helps to release stress and the need for control over your environment.

You might also drinking chamomile tea with honey. That tends to be very relaxing. Others like to drink warm milk.

Try to avoid caffeine and sugary foods.

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D.I.

answers from South Bend on

I took relaxation baths and listened to soft music. That helped me out a lot. I used chamomile and lavender for my baths. It worked great for me. Another thing that might work is to sit and read for a while and sip on a cup of tea or warm milk. I preferred the tea though because I don't like warm milk. If you try the bath you can also use some green tea and chamomile or lavender. Good luck and congratulations on your expecting of baby #4!
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7, and 4.

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L.C.

answers from Dayton on

I bet alot of the problem (aside from the fact that alot of pregnant women get insomnia) is the anxiety brought on by all the impending changes.

I have found for me, aside from a warm bath or shower, that the best thing for me to do is start addressing those issues that worry me.

My husband leaves for Iraq in Sept. and I don't sleep much sometimes. It isn't his first time but it is the first time since the birth of two or our five children (who, by the way, are only 2 and 1 yrs. old). I have found that the best way to get my mind slowed down is to list what specific situations I am worried about and then come up with "action plans" to deal with those things. It helps make me feel like I am prepared and in control and I am able to be more at peace.

Above all, God is faithful. "He that began a good work in you will be faithful to complete." Remember that you are getting ready to do something that you were made to do. It will be crazy, but you have three so you have done crazy. It will be messy, but you have three so you have done messy. It will be loud, but you have three so when is it ever quiet?

Congratulations on your impending arrival and may you experience incredible joy.

L.

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L.B.

answers from Columbus on

I also had insomnia during both of my pregnancies. You could try keeping a notebook and pen next to your bed. When you wake up, write down your thought so you won't "forget" it. Then you can let it go until morning.

Hope that helps,
Laura

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E.Z.

answers from Indianapolis on

In addition to all the advices, I would recommend you to READ. It worked with me all the time even when I was pregnant. Reading takes your mind away and helps you stop thinking about your daily life. It takes to a different world and will help relax your brain and get you to sleep.

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K.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

First of all, lower your expectations. Being pregnant means you will be tired and you need to get more rest. Put your 11 and 8 year old to work doing some stuff around the house, then you go take a nap. I used to feel guilty until my mom reminded me that everyone will be happier for it if I take good care of myself. If you can, go get a massage. It will do wonders for your physical body and give you some time to yourself. It's a lot of work to mother 4 children. But remember that the house doesn't have to be spotless and the kids can help wash dishes, fold laundry, etc.

Congrats on your soon to be arrival!!

A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

B.,
I'm so sorry you are sleeping bad! What a drag...

I saw a special on TV not that long ago about ways to help you fall asleep. The only thing I remember seemed very good though, like it would help.

If your mind won't shut off at night, keep a notebook & pen by your bed. When something pops into your mind, write it down real quick. Then it's on paper & you don't HAVE to keep remembering it. You will get to sleep a lot sooner, sleep better and have a list for the next day.

Good luck. I know how miserable you must be feeling.

A.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Look in to Hypnobabies. The women I know who have used it for birthing said that once they learned the techniques applied to birthing, they could use it any time they wanted to relax! I don't know if there is someone who teaches the classes near you or not, but you can also get a home-study course, new or used (Ebay, Half.com, etc...).
Good Luck!

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C.N.

answers from Toledo on

i have had the same prob, also due in nov with #2, my midwife told me that i can take tylenol pm every 4-5 days if needed, i havent done b.c i like to explore the more natural possibilities first...i have been taking magnesium, the holistic doc that i work for gave me some, its just a whole food supplement, so there is no risk of side effects...good luskc to you, i know that its hard not getting a good nights sleep
C.

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J.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hello!
I have had the same trouble at times and we have 3 children and one on the way in common only mine are all under the age of 5. I think one thing is that we have so much on our minds...worrying about our kids and all the responsibilities. Being pregnant also causes night waking for me b/c I get up to go to the bathroom frequently. Then it is hard to get back to sleep. The first thing I do is pray...I pray for my children and all the people on my list. That often is enough to help me fall back to sleep. Sometimes I write down what I have to do if that is what is on my mind. I ususally do what it is was worrying me first thing in the morning or I make sure to do it that day so I can sleep the next night. If you are having trouble falling alseep in the first place...I just read and it takes my mind off of my day. That's what I do...hope it helps! Good luck to you!

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C.B.

answers from Lafayette on

I am like that but it was worse when i waspregnant with my daughter, i only averaged about 20minutes a night. my ob put me on ambien and it helped, 2-4 hours sleep increase(better than 20min.) i couldn't complain. now i average 4-6 hours a night broken up. i take a nice warn shower before i'm ready for bed & use lavender & camomille scented soaps. if i don't do that before bed then i sleep horrible. good luck & God be with you & yours.

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R.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi B.!
I experienced the exact same thing when I was pregnant with my son. I could not sleep at night and then was SO tired during the day and also could not seem to get my mind to stop thinking, thinking, thinking. Surely these symptoms are very common for women that are pregnant but I think if the symptom of "my mind just can't stop thinking about things" persists or worsens you could be experiencing something more serious. For me it turned into a viscous cycle of worrying and not sleeping that went on for months and months. It took a long time for me to admit it but I was really experiencing some serious anxiety. To help myself get out of this cycle of not sleeping, being tired, and out of control thinking, I started to do some little things for myself that I previously enjoyed but had stopped making time for. I started taking some exercise classes that I used to enjoy but had gotten away from and also started to read again - and I mean reading for the pleasure of it! (Everything I had been reading was either about pregnancy, child development or parenthood!) Additionally, I learned to avoid t.v. shows or movies that were full of violence, crime or just really sad. I also learned that bedtime was relaxation time! It sounds obvious but my husband and I were using the late evening to talk about the bills to be paid or the car that needed to be repaired or whatever else that doesn't lead to a state of relaxation! I had to make a point of telling him that those topics were to be avoided in the late evening! I also prayed a lot which was so important to me... especially in the middle of the night when I'd wake up with something on my mind. I know it's difficult to REALLY take time for yourself but you have to do it for your mental health. Think of the things that you enjoy doing for the simple joy of it and make the time for these activities. Laugh and smile everyday. Don't let your thinking patterns be negative or get out of control. And don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about your symptoms. I didn't talk to my doctor until I started feeling better and I'm sure if I had spoken to her sooner she could have helped me rather than let my symptoms go on for months and months. Best wishes and congrats on the coming baby! Sorry this is such a long message... I guess I had a lot to say!

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K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Is this a new thing since you are pregnant, or an ongoing problem? I know that when I am pregnant, I go through periods where I have really bad insomnia. Same thing, my mind is racing and I just cannot sleep, no matter what. Mine would come and go but I had a friend who had it for probably 3-4 months of her pregnancy. So it may just be those pg hormones kicking in. Maybe talk to your doctor about it? Hope you get some zzzz's soon!

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R.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi B.,
I can definitely relate to what you are going through. One thing that I will mention that helps me a lot is to get a notepad and write things down that I am thinking about. Such as things that I need to remember to do the next day. It seems to help me clear my mind and concern of forgetting something.

Best Wishes
R.

K.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Use tons of pillows for support!!!! They actually sell body pillows especially for pregnant women at babycenter.com and babies'r'us..i just used 2 pillows for my head a body pillow fopr between my legs and about two more pillows for between my back and the wall plus sleeping on your left side makes things a whole lot more comfortable..

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S.M.

answers from Dayton on

I have the same issue; mine is perimenopause, but hormones are the cause. I often wake up after 20-30 minutes of sleep, and am WIDE awake, and my mind is busy with worries.
First I'll try a mental exercise to distract myself. I Remember a favorite vacation day by day, visualizing as much as I can. Or count all 50 states--picturing a map, or trying to put them in alphabetical order. Or count to 1000 by sevens. I know it sounds stupid, but the trick is to fill up my brain with something that isn't worrisome--just give it a task.
After 15-20 minutes, if my mind is still whirling I head for the family room couch. I set a timer for 1-1/2 or 2 hours, then I turn on the TV to something mildly interesting--HGTV, Nick at Night, late night talk show, whatever. I keep the volume really low, so I have to work a little to hear it, and keep the lights off. I never make it past the first commercial break. When the timer goes off, I go back to bed so I am where I need to be for my morning alarm. I always go right back to sleep.

Hope this helps.

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