Credit Card Debt, Are We the Only Ones?

you are not alone-
My husbands development company folded in the housing decline, he took 1/2 salary pay-cut and went to work for a friend a year ago they laid him off so we are living on my salary and his unemployment which equals a little more half of what he was making on his own. we downsized, changed life style but still a year is a awful long time. The savings account has dwindled and things are getting tighter and tighter. We haven't had to borrow any money or anything yet so I guess we are lucky but it isn't easy robbing peter to pay paul.

Not alone. Now we are stuck in the loop because we both got laid off, I was able to keep my job, but hubby took a lower paying job. So while we are trying to keep things tight, we can't pay off certain things or stop certain things becuase they are set payments - atv loans, equity loan. We are slowly making progress, but it is slow.

M.

I guess you're not alone but no, we have no credit card debt or even a mortgage. Not everyone carries credit card debt. People would be surprised likely that we have no debt and a huge savings account bc we don't live in a fancy house and only have 1 nice car (other is a very plain, inexpensive car). I'm weird that I get more pleasure in a way depriving myself of some nice things we could afford and just continuing to build savings. I'm big on delayed gratification. So, while you're not alone with huge credit card debt, I think it's a problem for America. Everyone's gotten rather materialistic. If credit card debt is due to an illness, job loss etc, then it's understandable. But just general living beyond your means seems silly to me. You might find it more satisfying to really cut consumption and hack away at that debt.

J. - you are not alone, but it sounds as if you are like many Americans who live beyond their means. Why do you have a big mortgage? Why do you have 2 car payments? We live in a small, modest home even though we make "enough" to live larger, but we don't want to run the risk a large mortgage payment brings. If you have little savings, you should have a little mortgage.

We have no credit card debt, but it took sacrifices on our part, and you have to be willing and ready to make them, and make them as a family.

Sell one car and pay cash for a downgrade - that eliminates one car payment. Downsize your home. Do things to change your lifestyle. Don't buy anything unless you can pay cash. We owe a RIDICULOUS amount of money to the government thanks to two professional degress, so we live a lifestyle that is much less "fun" than we want to. But, we do not have credit card debt hanging over our heads. We do not buy things we cannot pay for, and we live in a small house because we don't want to pay a large mortgage payment.

Look into Dave Ramsey - you don't have to do everything he says or even agree with all of his thoughts - but his ideas on staying out of debt are solid.

Good luck!

You're not alone, but we're not in that situation. When we built our home we were both committed to having a reasonable mortgage payment, not something that would come crashing down if one of us was unable to work. We both drive paid-off cars that are 7+ years old and we will drive them until they die. Food... there are 4 of you, cut back! Don't eat out. Period. Buy in bulk and repackage things yourself. As someone on this site noted a while back... when did we forget how to open a big bag of pretzels and put them in small ziplocs?

You have huge credit card debt b/c you chose to live beyond your means. Harsh? Maybe, but true. If you were realistic about your ability to afford the items you purchased you wouldn't be in this situation.

You "slip" on your credit cards b/c you haven't gotten rid of them and neither of you is able to control your spending. You are in a dangerous spot and probably need to consider selling your home and down-sizing in other areas.

I just can't feel sorry for people who are in a stressful financial situation because of the choices they have made. Your husband has a great income, but you have lived for years beyond that income... everything was put on credit which means YOU COULD NOT AFFORD IT.

Get rid of the credit cards. Get rid of the "new" cars and purhase a used car in cash. Sell your home and down size. Stop eating out. Ditch the "smart phone", upgraded cable and newest gadgets that everyone seems to think they "need".

Lots of people are living to paycheck.

Would you like to actually have a "say" in where your money goes? Would you like to save money & invest? Would you like to know that you had an emergency cushion of cash for the unexpected?

If so, the Dave Ramsay plan is for you. It can all be done by following some simple, common sense steps.
We did it, you can too. (Debt free including our house at roughly age 45.) Get O. of his books and DO IT! Good luck!

You are definitely not alone. And please ignore the people who chastise your for living beyond your means. Most people who run up high credit card debt aren't out buying big-screen TVs and taking vacations that they know they can't afford, they ran the cards up on everyday things such as groceries and gas when some emergency came along and wiped out their savings. Our emergencies were a very bad housing/mortgage decision that cost us every penny in available savings plus a significant chunk of my retirement account followed closely by my husband's job loss. We currently have appx $15K in CC debt. Our combined gross income is over $100K per year so I feel like we should be doing better than we are but we just take it month by month. We recently paid off one car and my last student loan (both cars are very used, btw), and if we stick to our credit card payment schedule, we should be done with that debt by mid-2013.

I've recently started using mint.com to track all of our finances. If you sign up for on-line banking with all of your financial institutions, mint will consolidate it all into one place so you always know what you have, what you owe, and where your money is going. Bank fees were a real eye-opener for us, so I'm diligent now about using my debit card and getting cash back at the register for free instead of getting $2-$5 ATM fees. Mint also helped calculate out credit card payoff plan, starting with the highest interest card first. I get low balance alerts on my phone, and other alerts that a deposit has cleared, a CC payment has been credited, etc. I can't say enough about how much this has helped us (and no, I don't work for them lol).

We are FINALLY "in the black" (hallelujah!!! hallelujah!!!)... meaning that for the first time in nearly 10 years, we have savings (money left OVER 2 weeks after being paid? My god. The idea of it!). For the FIRST time in 10 years we have managed to put away 1 month's mortgage (working on having 3 mo) in the bank.

We had had totally manageable credit card debt. We cycled through about 20k every year (facet of financial aid -we were both in school starting a few months after kiddo was born... we'd build it up, and pay it off, build it up and pay it off). A side benefit is that our credit was durn near perfect (just 20 points shy of perfect). We had over 100k in "available" credit (we had 6 cards - 2 each, 1 personal 1 for school expenses, and 2 joint cards for 1 for emergencies and 1 for holidays), the highest with a 40k limit, the lowest with a 15k limit). Then the credit crunch happened right after we bought our house and we were at a "high" point, meaning 20k we were waiting for Sept 22 to pay off (the largest financial aid / scholarship distribution). The CC companies dropped our limits BELOW our balances (illegal now), and we were fined over 10k in fees. Because we couldn't pay that 10k, we were considered to have 'universally defaulted'. Our interest rates on all 6 cards jumped from 0% (discovery we kept at the 0.0 introductory apr by following their very strict rules) - 8.9% ALL THE WAY TO 29.999 apr. ALL our cards jumped to 29.99%. In 3 months time, our credit card debt went from 20 k that we were paying off at the end of summer (as always), to over 60k worth of debt, without spending dime one. Our credit score tanked. There was no way we could even make minimum payments.

We eventually had to file for CH13 (the kind of bankruptcy that you still pay back a percentage of what you owe). By the time we finished legally speaking we have well over 100k worth of "debt". <rolls eyes> Yeah, right. The judge was actually quite irked. He wanted to know why we weren't applying for CH7 (wipes the slate clean), since it was "designed for people like us" who'd been taken advantage of. Our lawyer had to show him the paperwork that showed our house would be lost (our one and only "starter" house is no longer protected by bankruptcy laws) filing for 7. Thank you president Bush for punishing millions because of the actions of an avg of 17 people per year (at last lookup).

Anyhow... so yeah... we are on a very tight (courts approved) budget. We've always lived on a tight budget. Actually having $ left over enough to create a safety net is HUGE for us (and court approved... we are "low" in their formula, meaning we're not paying enough into "ourselves" as we're "supposed" to be. In 18mo we'll be completely out from under CH13. But I thank the framers of our constitution for guaranteeing the right to file bankruptcy right along with freedom of speech.

Are you sure you are not talking about my husband and I? lol!! Believe me, you are not the only ones. We are in the same situation. We had to wrack up HUGE credit card debt a few years ago just to get by. My husband and I went from making 6 figures working in the mortgage industry to both being laid off withing a month of each other at our respective jobs because of the financial collapse in 2007. I was 3 weeks from giving birth to our daughter. If it weren't for the credit cards and our family helping us, we would not have been able to eat. We have since moved back to my hometown and gotten jobs making less than half what we did in Georgia, but we are much happier and close to family now. It really bothered me for a long time carrying this much debt, but I have come to terms that we are doing the best we can and slowly making payments on what we can. We don't live extravigantly by ANY means now, but we have everything we need. We are most definitely living paycheck to paycheck - and it can be a struggle some months when extra things pop up we have to stretch our money for (kids summer baseball dues, car repairs, etc.)

I don't really have any financial advice for you - if that is why you posted, but I CAN tell you that you are not alone. Just do the best you can - we finally stopped pulling our hair out about it and resigned to the fact that we are doing all that we are capable of and can't do any more than that. What is really important to me is my children, hubby and family, and we are all healthy and happy. Money will come and go, but family is forever. :)

Obviously, you're not alone.

It all comes down to self-control, something a vast majority of people either lack or struggle greatly with.

Instead of beating yourself up, think of ways you could save some money, or throw a little extra towards the payments THIS WEEKEND. Can you stay home & spring clean, purge & possibly find something to post on Craigslist? Use that $ to go towards the payment.

Sometimes, I just won't buy food until the freezer is almost empty, or the cabinets are getting bare. That forces me to eat what we've bought & not spend more.

Find little ways to save money, get hand-me-downs, or have a swap for kids' clothes & toys, lower your heat setting & wear a sweater, cook larger meals & freeze them... you can do it.

Remember, it all comes down to will power. :)

You are not alone, it seems a lot of Americans are not living with in their means. We are not in that situation but we live well in our means so we are not living paycheck to paycheck, and have an ok savings.

I would not put another thing on the credit card until it is paid off, the rule we live by is pay it OFF by the next pay period or do not buy anything with the creidt card. It would be great to replace the 2 tvs that are 10-20 years old and get nice flat screens but that would mean not being able to pay it off by the next pay check so we do not get it.

We have a small house, we could have bought bigger but knew that ment a larger payment, so we went smaller in hopes to sell some day and get the larger house. Both of our cars are paid off, the one we will need to replace in the next two years but will get a modest car, school loans are paid off because we spent the last 8 years not using the credit cards and putting the extra money into student loans.

I have seen families that needed a lot of food, yet needed to cut the grocery bill down to help pay debt make it work. They go from $1000 a month to $400 a month with smart shopping and coupons. Eating out only once a week or every other week.

It is possible to do, you just need to be on top of it all the time.

Heck yes! My family is trying to follow the Dave Ramsey program, but it is sooooo hard. Howver I just know that we will be so much better off if we get it done.

We are pretty much paycheck to paycheck. This year I adjusted our taxes so we get that money in our paychecks instead of waiting and getting it in a tax return, but we used this year's tax return to pay off a couple of higher balance credit cards. The total of our debt isn't that high (relatively) and we thankfully are able to defer our loans, but my husband works opposite from my schedule still just because we cannot afford child care. We have a short overlap and sometimes struggle to afford the friends who come watch the kids during that time.

My maternity leave should be super-fun since I'm on short-term disability for five weeks, but my comfort is that I'm not commuting 50 miles a day right now with current gas prices or paying for child care. And is seems just when you start managing and your budget looks doable everything goes up--our gas bill is higher now (we're on a budget plan), our internet increased, our phone bill went up, we had to get a van which has a higher payment than the old car, interest on everything has gone up, our health insurance increased and the quality dropped, so we also have higher co-pays.

I find finances quite embarrassing as well, always have even when we're in good shape. You're not alone--for good or ill, I think many Americans live that way. Between the cost of living and unemployment or partial employment it can be nearly impossible to keep up with things.

We live barely paycheck to paycheck, but we have zero credit card debt. We do have a huge student loan debt though (about $35,000). My husband even was laid off for several months and we moved in with family and lived off of our emergency savings and food storage for several months, now we have nothing but are trying to rebuild.

It's tough, but not as tough had we also had credit card debt. We live in a very modest, older home, drive two old cars and we don't have any money to spend on luxuries. We go out to eat a few times a month or to watch a movie maybe 2 or 3 times a year. Most of our clothing and furniture and such is second hand. I work on the weekends. We are barely on the poverty line, but not enough to get any assistance.

And my husband is a college grad in a professional, gov't career. Apparently, it's more important in this country to pay ridiculous amounts of money to people making movies and playing sports than to the hard working struggling family.

Yes - but we are working through it. Dave Ramsey has changed our life.

i would see if there is anyway to get a longer lower home loan through the bank you guys have same with the car loans, and see if you can get your home and car insurances all with the same company for a discounted price, also budget food, see exactly how much you spend on food and see if there is anyway of getting off brand things like bread, milk, juices, pastas, and those things and then make a monthly budget and plan meals around things that are on sale in your local grocery store

You are not alone. You can get help through reputable groups such as CCCS (I think it stands for Consumer Credit Counseling) - they negotiate with credit card companies on your behalf to cut your payments and interest rates. You just pay THEM, and they pay the credit cards. That stops all the annoying collection calls too. If you are paying the minimum, it never goes away.

I would get rid of the cards entirely so you can't slip. You could also work from home, as I do, helping others and making a great profit.

Don't buy convenience foods - they are way overpriced. Switch from brand names to store brands unless you have a triple coupon that makes it worth it. Don't buy soda at all - overpriced sugar water. Don't buy snack sized anything (make your own). Don't use paper towels (use absorbent cloths you throw in the wash - better for environment too), cut out your daily paper (use the internet), cook more using real food (make it a family activity even if it means cooking on Sundays and freezing for the week), make coffee from home instead of going to Starbucks. Shop at a supermarket that gives gasoline credits. Have a family movie night with popcorn and a DVD instead of going to the theater, invite friends for pot luck instead of going out to dinner. Have a neighborhood yard sale and get everyone to chip in on the cost of the ad. Call your phone company and internet provider and ask them for a less expensive plan. Go to the library instead of buying books. Take clothes you don't wear to a consignment shop. Take kids' toys to a resale shop.

We have been pushed by the predatory lending companies to buy homes we really cannot afford, and so it's no surprise that so many people have ended up in this situation. Some people still think that the industry doesn't need to be regulated (like that will stifle the economy) but the economy isn't moving when everyone is paying interest instead of buying goods & services. We have some responsibility, absolutely, but there is a whole lot of unethical business stuff going on too, all that stuff in the fine print.

And, we think we need everything NOW. You'd be surprised at how you can get by with a heck of a lot less. Teach your kids that it's better to work for something than to buy it now and spend a lifetime trying to pay for it. We are killing ourselves with stress in this country, and we have to stop.

get on the Dave Ramsey plan. it works wonders. He has you make a spreadsheet of all money going out and coming in. Call your cc comp and ask if they can lower the interest for 6 months same with school loan see if you can claim hardship that helps you will still be paying off the debt but with less interest and as for food STOP going out to eat or getting treats. Do this for 3 months and you will see the money free up. figure out your debt high to low and start knocking out the lowest due. Have you refianced? your home or cars. use any bonuses your hubby gets for cc debt. start buying in bulk and make a menu of all of the things you can make/bake then make a month long calendar of the different items. I have made every thursday pasta day and every other wednesday is meatloaf. It makes life easier and dh gets the leftovers in his lunch the next day. We have gotten rid of almost 20gs of cc debt in just over a year we went down to one car I too am a SAHM. and now that we have all but 2gs left on cc hubby can get his new car and we will still be putting $ in savings. It was a struggle but it gets easier as the time pass. We are so much in the mode of get out of debt get out of debt that it still shocks us that we can now breath easier now, gl it takes work and dedication. you can do it though.

No, we were in a very similar situation.
My husband makes good money too, but we somehow managed to rack up a LOT of credit card debt. We didn't even realize how bad it was because it was all spread out on like 5 cards. I guess we were financially either lazy, in denial or both. We finally realized we needed to change because we never seemed to have any money (because so much of it was going to credit card payments). We sat down and added up all the balances- and we were pretty stressed.

We FINALLY decided to listen to the advice we had gotten about Dave Ramsey. We got the audio version of The Total Money Makeover. I can't recommend it enough!!! My husband listened to it on his commute to and from work, and I listened at home while doing other things. We also listen to his radio show on the weekends together. We listen on his website- usually the archived stuff- for free. It helps keep us motivated.

We've done a complete 180 and will have the rest of our debt paid off in about 2 years (maybe a little less). We went from avoiding finances to watching every penny. We learned how to make a budget that we could stick to. We sit down together at the beginning of each month and make a budget for that month. We spend every dollar on paper for the month.
We use cash for everything because we spend less that way (it's more painful to part with cash).

I started grocery shopping much more carefully. Each week I check the circulars for the 2 stores I shop at and compare prices. I go through my coupons and search for the brands that are on sale. Amazing how much I save. Then I make a meal plan based on what meat is on sale and make my list. I noticed you were wondering what to do when the kids were napping ;) That's what I do- at least some of the time anyway.
I usually go shopping Thurs. night after dinner. It's my favorite time to shop because the store only has a handful of customers, it's payday, and the kids are home with my DH :) It's much easier to pay attention that way- and no "please mommy, can I have this?". My last trip, for example....the total before sales and coupons was $198.65, and after my BigY card was scanned and coupons, it all came to $115.69. My cart was overflowing :)
Sorry if i'm rambling and my thoughts are kind of jumbled but I've got a wicked headache :/

Anyway, check out Dave- he's completely changed our lives- and those of thousands of others too. We no longer stress about $, and it's made us much closer.
http://www.daveramsey.com/home/

I know a lot of people in your shoes. I think that if you want to get out of debt, you have to make some choices. What is essential and what is not? For example, do you eat out a lot? Do you use coupons? Do you shop for best prices or do you buy where it's convenient even if it's higher?

It will take time to get out of debt, and you have to plan to do it. There are a lot of financial advice types out there. like Dave Ramsey and you might want to check out their books.

When we made less and DH was paying old debt and student loans, we rarely ate out, packed all our lunches, used cash as much as possible, didn't have extended cable, etc. In fact, we still have a "cut list" of things we like but can live without (cable, dining out, dry cleaning). Some families decide that the maintenance, gas and insurance on 2 cars is too much and have only 1 car. Look at what you really do/use and what you can change. Even something as simple as using Freecycle can help you find things you need at no cost. Furniture, computer items, kid stuff...Friends traded cable for Netflix, got rid of the text and data plans on their phones and sold some of their electronics that they could live without (no need for 3 digital cameras). Myself I've used my credit more than I like and am paying cash or not buying so I have money to pay down that debt. Interest alone is killer.

Trying to live within or below your means will serve you well down the road when (hopefully) things will be better.

We used to have a lot of credit card debt purely by impluse alone and living above our means. When baby #2 came we were in such a situation that every week I had no idea where the food was coming from. We cut out a lot of stuff but our mortgage was our main stress. It was a bad time in our life, very scary to not know how you are going to feed your child or where gas money was going to come from to get to work. Then we had a stroke of luck and got a little bit of money, paid off all our credit cards and started living the right way. We at that time were a one car family, and did that two years. While it was very hard we survived. My husband works from home and I was home for a while with the new baby so we saw no need to have a car payment. We cut cable down, consolidated things and made the most of it. Yes we splurged once in a while but it wasn't outrageous and never paid on credit cards. I don't even have one anymore and though sometimes I think I should I don't want the temptation there. My husband has one and it is used primarily for work travel. Now we just make choices as to what is important for the house, family etc. Good luck!

I used to feel the same way. I stay home too and my husband makes a great income but we lived paycheck to paycheck. I started an internet franchise part time. I now own 4. The extra money is great and I have been able to weave it into my busy mom life. My kids are 4, 6 and 8. I also use a program called Capital Resources which is amazing. This has helped me payoff 3 credit cards and I am on my way to being debt free in 14 years. Mortgage and all. I have tried many others but none worked like this one.
I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel which I at one time thought was burnt out. :)

I second Sherri's answer. Lately, I have done similar things she suggested, like cleaning out the freezer. I might not really want to thaw that huge turkey and cook it and eat on it for a week, but it's basically free food and one less thing to buy at the grocery store.

I don't get my nails done, I don't get my hair cut (my hair's curly so mom can trim it for me just to get rid of the bad ends). We don't pay for cable. We don't go out to eat. We don't drive anywhere unless we plan what else we're going to do while we're out (to save $ on gas) - we live 20 miles away from a Target or Walmart, so we hit up 3 or 4 stores and only drive into town one day a week). We don't buy cookies, nor ice cream, nor a lot of junk that just packs on pounds AND increases the grocery bill. I am not the norm among my friends. They say "Lets go to dinner this weekend." or "Go shopping with me." or "Let's go to the movies" and I don't do any of those if I can't afford it. I'll say "Let's make a pot-luck lunch" or "Let's meet at the playground" instead. Also, I shop garage sales and thrift stores. It's amazing what you can find for cheap. We have sold everything we don't need/use on Craigslist. We turn the AC up to 85 degrees when we leave the house so it doesn't keep our poorly insulated house cold while we're not here. Even when we are here, we keep it set at about 79 and wear shorts and tank tops. I try to use the oven once a week or two and do-so on the coolest evenings as to not heat up the house too bad.

So hang in there, have that willpower that Sherri suggested. Take one step at a time.

We don't have a huge amount of credit card debt, but medical bills since I have been sick. The hopsital is working with us to make payments, but it still sucks living paycheck to paycheck. When I sat down yesterday and figured our in coming vs outgoing I'm really not sure how we make it any more. Maybe someone will list some ways to earn some extra cash.

you're not the only one sweetie...i'm drowning, but i'm working h*** o* it. i'm a single FT working mom w/no child support & make $15/hr...i guess it doesn't matter what you make, if you're in debt, you're stuck living check to check. well, everyone's gonna say use dave ramsey...that's b/c he works i guess. i never seem to have enough to pay everyone though - lol!
anyway, keep chugging at it..you'll get it down. you're not alone...good luck! :)

You need to look into debt consolidation for the credit cards, or call them and set up a payment plan with them and see if they'll allow you to close the card and work with you on lowering the interest rate and freezing it so that you can pay it down. You need to speak with a financial planner to organize your finances and help you set up a budget. When that happens, you're going to need to concentrate on paying down the debt and seriously not use those credit cards. Cut them up.

From what I see on the news, you certainly are not alone. We do not have any debt other than our house payment and two car payments, but from what I hear, we are the ones that are out of the ordinary. Don't be embarrassed. We each do the best we can. Maybe as your children get older you can work a day or two more each week (if you choose) and pay down your debt. The fact that you don't use your cards anymore is great! Hang in there. Times are tough right now.

yes us too. I went back full time but half goes to daycare. Its embaressing because we are both municpal employees so family and frineds know how much we make yet we havenothing to show for it and can barely cover things like birthday gifts etc.
ETA @ krista p. Save your judgement. We live in a tiny ranch and drive used cars