Daughter with Bulimia and Depression

If she needs round the clock care from professionals with therapy on top of that, then I would do it. Some people absolutely need intervention, if she is at that critical point, then do whatever you can to support her through it. She may hate you for now, but will be thankful later.

I had a friend that went through depression in high school and early college. She was checked in for the mandatory 72 hours and I remember being so sad and scared for her and wondering how in the world she ended up at that point. She was always the outgoing happy go lucky type of person on the outside but had her own personal hell of sorts on the inside. That said, there was no way any one of us as her friends her parents or other family would have been able to help her get through that on her own. She truly needed professional help, she was better for it as it made her realize she needed the help and learned that there really was help available for her. We're no longer friends because we grew apart as we grew up and made lives for ourselves, but I know she's now a happy well adjusted adult with a family. If she hadn't gotten the right help I don't know where she would be now. Please listen to her doctors and get her headed in the right direction.

I had a family member just recently that was diagnosed with depression and yes he went to the hospital. It's a step in the evaluation and to be watched after medication is given to see the results....
Prayers to you, it's probably not going to be an easy time for you. I would take the time to brush up on the Bulimia/Depression (how to deal?) while she is being supervised in a professional environment. Educating yourself will be the best gift you can give her when she comes back home.

I would think it is better to be safe than sorry. I have been in the position where 1) I would hurt myself intentionally and 2) make myself throw up. Even though those times were in different stages in my life, kudos to you for catching this in time. I still have eating issues at 35.

Whatever you can do for your daughter, do it now. You might be surprised that she will be thankful towards you for approaching her problems, as bulimia is a cry for help.

Other alternatives would be for you to follow her EVERYWHERE - to her room, to the bathroom...it would be better for a professional to assist her than a parent to ease any resentment for her thinking that you are intruding in her space rather than trying to help her.
Good luck, and again, I am happy that you were able to catch these behaviors.

Hi E., took a look at your pasts post before I answered this one. Not much information here.

You asked a question regarding your own depression, and a question about having concern about your daughter being overweight.

I hope you can embrace whatever this facility has to offer for your daughter. I hope you will seek help for yourself as well, if you don't already have a therapist.

I am so very sorry you two are going through this difficult time. I think YOU will find the strength, I think you WILL rise above your own depression to do all your can to help your daughter.

I hope you will be open minded about the professional help you are about to receive.
Intervention at this point is appropriate, and scary if you are only now just discovering the depth of her problems.

I send you strength, I hope you'll keep making posts, and fell free to PM me or any other Mom you like on this site. We are ALL rooting for you both! We are all on your side!

If the doctors think that she needs hospitalization, do it. You aren't a treatment center, and you need to get her where she can get the help she needs. I don't want to imagine what would happen if you didn't take her there and the worst happened.

I would have to think if they are telling you this then that is where she should be. This is one situation where I would bow to the experts because you really don't know all they do about these situations. They have seen countless numbers of kids and are trained to recognize the signs of danger. Good luck E..

This will be one of the hardest things you have ever done!!!! but you will get through it! My daughter has been admitted twice this year. The first time was the hardest. She has social anxiety disorder and cuts herself to lessen her anxiety. She hit rock bottom when she started college. She was hospitalized the first time because she had cut so deep she needed stitches and the emergency room doctors felt she may be sucidal. The second time was because a friend of ours daughter had comitted sucide and my daughter had a break down during out patient therapy and they were worried she would copy our friend's daughter. It is so hard to see your child suffering like this but you are doing everything you can. Right now it is important to keep her safe while shes learning to cope with her feelings. The social worker at the hospital should be able to help you. We found the psychiatrist were not a lot of help. My daughter had started seeing a psychologist before she was in the hospital so she was able to help us also. While she's in the hospital research treatment centers and the different kinds of treatments that are available. My daughter will not take meds for her anxiety so she has chosen a harder road for herself. Right now she is doing Behavior therapy and it seems to be helping. She is using the book The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook. During this diffcult time be sure to take care of yourself. Find someone you can confide in or just vent to. Oh and the shower is a great place to cry because you will need it. During one of our trips to the emergency room one of the nurse's had a tattoo on her arm that said "This too shall pass". She had been bulimac and her sister was bulimac and a cutter and now they both are nurses! If you would ever like to email me feel free. I know this is very hard for your family but remember "This too shall pass." I wish you and your family all the best.

Please do whatever you can for your daughter. Don't cut either of you off from help that is available. I had these same issues as a teenager and perhaps my struggle would have been shorter if someone intervened when I was young. Please do your homework also - research diagnosis and medication. Some young people react differently to medication. Arm yourself with facts and ask questions. And lastly get help and support for yourself. Good luck.

Please be strong and follow his directions.
Your daughter needs this care. Imagine if she had Cancer.
Mental health is just as serious and can be tricky, because you cannot see it..

We lost a very dear friend a few years ago. She went into the hospital for her emotional and mental illness, but wanted out, so they let her out and she took her life after a few weeks of "seeming to be all better.".

I am sending you strength.

Please look into the diagnosis PANDAS (Pediatric Neuro-psychiatric Disorder Associated with Strep.)

It may be physical!!!

My daughter has this and she was hospitalized in an outpatient facility and medicated, but it only made things worse. We did not have the bulemia aspect, but many of the children diagnosed with PANDAS do have anorexia or bulemia- it is more of an OCD twist on things than actual body-image issues. Some have fear of choking, fear of digesting, fear of consuming particular foods, etc. etc.

#1- Get her to safety. Absolutely put her in the hospital in the short-term if it gives you a minute to breathe, think through some things and know that she is not going to harm herself.

#2- Get all of her medical records together the best you can and look at this symptom list.
http://www.webpediatrics.com/pandasclinicalcases.html

#3- If she meets the criteria on this list (or is even CLOSE) then please call the doctor whose website link I listed. He is actually in Oak Brook and Hinsdale offices and he is amazing. He treated my daughter immediately when we were in crisis and is treating my 2 yr old now for the same thing (it runs in families.)

If I can help you more, please let me know.

M. (in Wheaton)

How old is she? I went through both of those issues myself in high school. I began taking prozac & went to counseling. I guess you need to look at the severity of the situation: is she hurting herself (cutting, burning, etc), if she is in school - have her grades gone down, does she have a social network that will support her? I do not like the idea that this is a 'surprise' to her. 'Surprise hospitalizations' did not work well with my clients that had mental illness (when I worked in social service). Is she open about her depression? I think in some situations bulimia can be treated without hospitaliztion. You can always get another opinion. I wish you the best of luck. I know it really hurt my mom when I was struggling with depression but I got help & moved on. Focus on her inner strengths & encourage everyone around her to focus on her wonderful characteristics that do not have to do with appearance. Help her find an outlet to express herself - drawing, writing, dancing, singing, music etc.

E.,
I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this nightmare. My daughter suffered from anorexia/bulimia, cutting and depression during her young adult years. She is now 34 and is in recovery but it took a long time and 5 different hospitalizations. Most of them started for suicidality but continued for the eating disorders. I believe you should trust her therapist and psychiatrist because as others have said, they would not be recommending hospitalization unless they felt it was necessary. If the vomiting in happening involuntarily now, then hospitalization may be the only way to stop it. I do believe that inpatient hospitalization where every moment is supervised is the quickest way to treat this illness. These sufferers can be very sneaky and tricky, so you can't be sure what is going on with them. And it IS an illness that is VERY life-threatening! My daughter went to Linden Oaks in Naperville twice, and once to Wisconsin and Kansas each, and finally to Remuda Ranch in Wickenburg, Arizona. I found the website "Something Fishy" to be very helpful, as well. I was able to find e-mail pen pals and was able to share with other mothers whose daughters were going through a similiar dark time. One of my pen pals lost her daughter to this illness. Our insurance was very good, and covered my daughter's treatment very well. Don't assume that yours won't until you check with them for sure. I wish you strength, and hope!

Not the same things, but yes I had to do that, take my son to the hospital for depression, etc. and worse leave him for a week. It was terrible. I do not seen now what other alternative there was. You want them to stay alive, you love them, and yet we do not have the tools to solve it ourselves. Love doesn't do it all the time.I do not know how old your daughter is, but if she is medicated due to this, please monitor her, watch her, and of course love her. It is terribly painful, but he recently went off his meds, and moved near his brother. HIs brother didn't understand he needed meds and pretty well talked him out of it. He was really up and down and I worry about another hospitalization. I do suspect he was bulimic, he got very skinny (grew up a huggy, chubby child) but in highschool couldn't stand what goes along with that. Since then he exercises his brains out...Good luck. Love and best wishes. S.