Difficulty Getting 3 Year Old Out of Tub

Maybe she's trying to exert control in an area she can. What if you try discussing the issue with her at a different time of day? Let her know that you don't like to see her upset but that when bathtime is over, she needs to get out calmly so everyone can have a nice evening, etc. or get to bed on time. Ask her why she wants to stay in the bath and if she has any ideas that could make it better.

Also, or instead, you could get a timer, and have her set it for the proper amount of time that you decide. Maybe that would help her feel that she has control over when it's over?

Good luck!

Ah yes, we have had this problem many times. I think it is her age and wanting to be independent. We have done what you have done and pull her out after draining and let her scream. We have used a timer at times. I have also given her some choices--alright if you want 5 more minutes of bathtime then you won't have time for TV and will have to go right to bed.

HI K.,
I haven't had this problem with my kids but I do have a suggestion for you. I suggest several things:
1. Set a timer for bathtime. When the timer has gone off, bathtime is over. The timer becomes the "bad guy" and not you.
2. Let her set the timer just for fun.
3. When the timer goes off, all toys must be taken out of the tub and put out of reach.
4. Make sure you have an extremely long tub liner that sits on the bottom of the tub to make sure they don't slip when trying to get out by themselves.
5. Then I would let her stay in the bathtub for as long as she wants even after the water has drained. Leave the towel on the side of the tub for her to get to it after she is done. It only makes sense that she will get very cold after a short period (or bored because you've left the room) and she'll get out by herself.

I hope this has been helpful. Buffy

When bathtime is done, if she refuses to get out, drain the tub, put the toys away, and leave the room. Check back periodically. She will get cold and bored, and get out. In the meantime, continue with the night-time routine for your son. She will most likely miss out on story time or whatever, since she won't be ready for bed. If you normally help them get ready for bed, continue with your son, but have her get herself caught up. If she misses story time, so be it, don't do it later. She'll learn that she'd rather get out and do the rest of bedtime stuff than fight over getting out of the tub.

Hi K.,
the reasons may be 1000, try to talk with her about her point of view at any time during the day,but not at the time of the get out of the tub. just ask her why, and try to explain her your point of you, stressing out why it is important for you that she get out, and ask her what it would be fare for her to make it work. hope it can help, but sometimes if they feel involved in the solution of their problems works best of all. maybe it's just what she is seeking for, just some attention. take care
E.

Hi K.,

I would suggest giving her an individual bath time. Also while bathing her incorporate talking to her about her day, play with some bath toys with her. Also, get a timer that you can place near the tub so she can see when the time is up and when the bell goes "ding" that's when the tub needs to be emptied. Hope this helps

J. Z.
Independent Shaklee Distributor
www.shaklee.net/Z.
Now offering Paraben Free Cosmetics

For whatever her reasons (and she has plenty), your daughter is finding comfort in the tub. Warm water is like the womb and very calming, plus waterplay is just fun! I suggest NOT turning this into a battle of wills. If you start her bath BEFORE dinner and let her stay in there as long as she want, I guarantee she will eventually want to get out. She will eventually get humgry, bored, prunned, tired, and she will feel forfiled in getting all she wants of something that gives her pleasure and some relief from whatever is stressng her (mostly, growing up). You can add and remove another child from the tub anytime. Just tell her you understand that she would like a long bath and she can have one. Only rule is, once she is out the water is drained and bathtime is over until the next day.

Trust me, this will pass. Just don't make it a battle of her will against yours because no matter who wins that battle, she loses and that will only make it take longer to resolve.

Sliver lining: When she's a stressed adult and hard-wroking mom, maybe she'll remember to take a nice long warm bath for herself.

Good luck!

Start giving bath seperately so she feels she has more time to play. Then set a timer after you've washed her and give her warnings. If she still throws tantrums, you need to tell her that since she wants to have a tantrums after baths, she will not be allowed playtime in the tub. Then don't fill the tub use a cup and run water from the faucet and give her a quick wash up and rinse. After a few times of this and probably her displeasure she should be more willing to come out of the tub. My boys also like that they have a special character towel waiting for them (I say "Buzz lightyear is waiting for you") that also seems to motivat them. Good luck.

Here's a few ideas:

Get bubble bath for her. Only alow her to use it if there is no meltdown. Maybe make it a special by herself girly bath if she does well in her regular baths.

Buy her a pretty bath robe and slippers which she can only wear if she is nice about the tub. Let her pick it out.

Similarly, tell her no bath toys or playing if she throws tantrums. Make it a really all-business in-and-out no fun bath until she cooperates.

Showers. I started them with my daughter on schoolnights when she was around 3 1/2. She loves them. We don't turn it on overhead, but use a hose attachment which makes it easy to keep a hand on her and spray the soapy parts and keep it out of her eyes. Just make sure you get a non-slip tub mat too.

Set a timer and point it out to her during the bath so she know time is running out.

If she won't get out, turn up the AC and let her lay there. Stay with her so she doesn't try to get out and falls. But generally ignore her until she gets cold enought o talk in a nice voice and ask for help getting her towel.

Also is ther a chance tha tprivacy or shyness with her brother is an issue, given potty training? If so, you definately have to respect that.

Obviously, be sensitive to her and what she is going through transition-wise. But the tub is not a place to allow tantrums - it's a safety issue.

this sounds silly but the new way i deal with these independant control tactics is to give in to the independence. i'll tell my daughter she has 5 seconds to do ...whatever... or i will do it for her. this includes pulling the plug on the tub. sounds ridiculous but it works about 85% of the time.

I would suggest that when the "bath" part of the bath is done, you have a time limit of play time. Set the timer and let both know that they can get out before the timer goes off or when it goes off but not after. If they are late, no bedtime story/activity/treat or whatever you set up in advance.

You could even offer a special treat (extra bedtime story or staying up a few minutes extra or a few extra fun time minutes for Saturday night) if they aren't late Sunday - Friday. Obviously, you will want to reward each separately. When your daughter sees that big brother gets extra time or treat for consistant behavior, she will want it too.

Although it may work, I don't particularly like the idea of making her catch herself up because I feel that you lose some of the bonding that takes place during those activities.

I had the same problem with my son, and you know what always helps? Putting him in the tub about 1/2 hour earlier. I think that he got so tired that when he had to quit playing, he had a meltdown. This almost always means he goes to bed a little earlier. Try it and see if it works.

Dear K.,
It has been my experience that a 'fit', as I call them, that gets attention, escalates. Here is a suggestion that has worked for us. First, trying to reason with, argue with or otherwise deal with a child in the middle of a 'fit', just wears you out. They are not hearing you, and a 3 yr old, does not have the power to reason with you. You say that you drain the tub, and the other child gets out as asked. Here is what you might try...give your attention to the child that is obeying. Give praise and attention to the one who is listening and getting out. Ignore the fit. (naturally, be aware and make sure that she does not get hurt), and if there is a way to walk away, and still be mindful of her safety, do it. Once she realizes that her 'fit' is not affecting you, and that the OTHER child is getting your attention, I suspect that these 'fits' will subside. It may take several episodes for her to get the message, but let her calm herself... it may take a while, but do not give her your attention until she is calmed. Once she realizes that the fits do not get your attention, they will decrease in severity and length. This works in many scenarios... as long as YOU can maintain not giving in. Once you do, the child in control of the situation and they know it. If she is in an empty tub, there is not danger of drowning, just let her lay in the tub until she is calmed down. If you're in there to trying to talk her out, take her out or threaten consequences...she'll get tired and settle down. My guess is that after a few minutes of 'alone time' --- (again, make sure that she is safe/maybe stay where you can keep an eye on the situation, but she can't see you)--- I'll bet you'll hear the call for "Mommy... Mommy...." At that point, attend her call, ask if she's ready to get out now, and if the answer is "yes", commend her, and take her out for a little cuddling. If the answer is "no", walk away again, until she is ready to get out. Sitting by the tub, waiting for her to make a decision just puts her back in control and gives her your undivided attention. Maintain these actions at each bathtime, until she is willing to get out when told. Remember, you're in charge, Mom.
In my experience, 3's are worse than 2's.... and fits become a way of life for them---if they get attention & results. Mom, I'm in your corner!!!! I think this will make a difference in just a few days.
Don't coax her out with rewards....she'll figure out that "If I throw a fit, Mom will give me a reward to just get out...I can manipulate this to get candy, or toys etc..." She needs to understand that it's time to get out, just because Mom said so.
Good Luck....
S

If it is connected with her doing potty training and starting preschool, bath troubles will pass when she gets used to changes. If she is just being 3.....what I do for my 3 year old and 18 months old boys....when it's time to get out and water was drained I turn on cold water and say that all hot water is gone, so unless they want to use cold water they need to get out.......they jump out in the second:)...works for us

Leave her in the drained tub and when she gets cold she will want to get out. That is what worked with our son. It could take a few minutes or more.

A wise mama gave me a solution to a similar situation. She called it the "The Take-Away". Transitions can be hard for anyone, but especially the wees. Let your little bean take something from the bath to smooth the transition, i.e a bath toy or a spray bottle of water to go water the plants etc.

I thought her idea was so inventive that I just had to share it. Worked for us :-)

Best,
W.
http://motherrising.blogspot.com

Sounds like you have some good ideas already. Something I did to stop my 2 year old from melting down, was I told her she would have to get a shower next time. Then I made her take a shower. I got in with her and showered her. She had to stand in the cool air while I soaped her down and then had to have the spraying water wash the soap out of her hair... She didn't like it at first so she learned to be much better about getting out of the tub when it was time. Now both kids prefer to play in the bath but will take a shower if needed (like at the beach). I rarely have problems with them getting out when I give them a few minutes warning. If I do have problems, they usually either loose the ability to choose their book for the night or they loose their book.

Getting them to get dressed and brush their teeth quickly is another story. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Good luck.
Liz

You could try setting a timer. My daughter used to have the same problem and we got her a little flower kitchen timer at IKea and let her set it for 5 mins when she was done washing and just playing in the tub. It took a little while but the tantrums did finally stop. As she got older and began taking her bath on her own, we used it to set the time limit on her bath, so she knew how much time she had to wash and play before she had to get out.