Don't Know What to Do with My Baby Going to School with Allergies to Egg&peanuts

Updated on September 22, 2009
O.S. asks from Elk Grove, CA
51 answers

I'm frustrated and not sure what to do! My daughter had her 1st day of preschool and her teacher allows any snacks regardless of my daughter's allergies to egg & peanuts. This is new to me, so I need to figure it out...Also, the teacher refuses to learn how to use an EpiPen in the event of an emergency due to lawsuits. There are many things that I can say right now but I better keep a grip on "Mama Bear." Please help!!!

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So What Happened?

Thank all of you wonderful moms!!! Your support is greatly appreciated! I'm going to home school my daughter this year. Schools are full and I can't afford a private school. I'm going to try and get my money back and file a complaint. I will use this as a learning experience. And research more and find her a school for next year. By the way FYI, the school is Church of the Master in Sacramento.
Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

O.,

Game across this Blog- Mom has great questions to ask the school- wither now or if you have to look for a new one! http://peanutfree.blogspot.com/

Also look on line- there are some peanut free programs.

M.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear O.,
I guess you could start looking for another preschool, but this sounds like a situation you will be dealing with for some time if she has severe food allergies. Meaning, it will have to be addressed and safety issues put in place regardless of what school you send her to. You said it was only her first day, so I wouldn't necessarily give up but it seems you would have gone over all of this prior to enrolling her.
I am a mom and I certainly understand your concerns for your daughter's safety. But, I don't think it's reasonable to expect the preschool to alter ALL snacks for all the kids based on your daughter's allergies. You should make her allergies very clear so that your daughter is not allowed to eat anything that the school provides and must only eat what you send for her. You are obviously accustomed to dealing with her food restrictions so you just need to provide her snacks yourself. I know it's kind of difficult, we want to teach our children to share, but some things, in this instance food, can't be shared and your daughter needs to understand that under no circumstances is she to have something unless you prepare it at home. Either that, or find a school that is nut-free and vegan.

As for the Epi-pen, I'm not sure what type of preschool you have her in, but I can tell you that schools these days are not allowed to administer any type of medication, not even a Tylenol, without a form being completed by the family physician and kept on file that clearly states under which circumstances, the dosage, etc, the medication can be provided by the school staff. And, at least with my kids' schools, any medication could only be administered by certain people in the office with clearance and it all has to be documented. This is something that came about several years ago. My son gets really bad headaches and has been pretty scraped up at school. Before, they could just call me at work and let me know what's going on and I could verbally give permission to give him a Tylenol and/or a band-aid and send him on his way. It's not like that anymore. Fortunately, one of my best friends is a teacher at his school. She's like a second mother to my son. If he felt a headache coming on, she could sneak him out to the parking lot and give him a Tylenol to ward it off. She could have gotten in SO much trouble from the school if they knew, but she did it for her own son too as opposed to all the paperwork necessary to give the kids a pill. They aren't even allowed to have certain types of cough drops without written permission these days. So, this is something for you to look into further. It may not be a case of the teacher refusing, but a matter of protocol. I've known kids with Epi-pens due to allergies to bee stings and they are kept locked in a cabinet and there is a planned drill in case of emergency.
Take a deep breath. Talk to the director of the pre-school. Address your concerns and see how you can work together for the safety of your daughter. They can accomodate her to an extent, but you are ultimately the one who has to take responsibility for whether this is a good fit for her or whatever you need to do to help them out. Such as, preparing all her food yourself.
I don't want this to sound mean, but when my daughter was in the fourth grade, a couple of moms approached the teacher and didn't want anyone bringing special snacks for holidays. Valentine's Day, Halloween, Hanukkah, Christmas...kid's birthdays. That went over like a lead balloon. So then the teacher said it was okay, but no flour, no sugar, no eggs, no nuts, no chocolate, no dairy, nothing with red or yellow dye. And just when we thought we could suck it up and bring fruit....no strawberries, no pineapple, no oranges...
What really was left? A chunk of tofu on a fricking toothpick? I happen to like tofu but I'm sure something could have been found wrong with that and Lord knows toothpicks are dangerous.
Let me just say there was a bit of a revolt.
There is a big difference between asking to be accomodated and trying to change the complete dietary habits of 25 other families to satisfy two families when there is no way to satisfy them. That approach doesn't earn many allies. I'm just saying.....

Your little one deserves to be safe and happy and it might take a lot of work on your part to make sure that happens. But, I wouldn't throw in the towel on the preschool just yet. My advice is to also temper your concerns for your daughter with the knowledge that they have other children with other needs as well. That doesn't make you bad or them bad, but make sure you have a game plan and an emergency strategy in place. You're the parent. It's kind of the same thing as a kid with diabetes who needs some orange juice or a candy bar if their sugar gets too low. You can't expect everyone to just know how to handle it automatically. These safety measures have to be put in place well in advance. Start putting those things in place today.

I wish you the best, I really do. If this isn't the right place for your daughter, you will know and you'll have to carefully screen other schools before you take her there.

I hope it all works out......

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E.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

OMG that teacher is out of control! You need to have a chat with whoever is in charge of the preschool. If needs be, provide your child with a specific snack at snack time. One of the biggest things at the preschool that is attached to the church I work for is allergies- the director is so careful to make sure that snacks are kid friendly, and there are always kids who need to either have their own brought separately, etc. If the teacher was not willing to accept your child's specific needs, then up front they should not have allowed you to enroll. About the epi pen, I understand both sides- lawsuits are out of control. But the teacher can be trained and you can sign a waiver that states that in the event that your child needs the epipen adminstered, you will not sue as long as the teacher follows A, B, & C... this protects the teacher and your child, and allows your child to be open to whatever help she might need. But the snacks, find the director or principal. The teacher's behavior on that one is a difficult to understand. Also, as a mama bear, be on your best behavior- the nicer you are and eager to understand why they do things the way they do, the easier they will be when it comes to compromise.
I hope this helps.
-E.
P.S. if you are in Bakersfield, the Little Ones Preschool held at First Presbyterian Church is brand new and a great place for kids!

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N.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear O.:

Have you checked policies with other possible pre-schools? I can understand the teacher not wanting to use medication especially one that involves the use of a needle. However I do not understand indifference to allergies.

When I worked in preschools and daycare centers, we had lists posted in all the rooms of who was allergic to what and checked when we served debatable things. I hope you send the snacks your daughter can eat and let the school know (in writing with signatures on both sides) what she is allergic to and that you do not want them to give her anything!! It is hard to know what products have egg in them, not so hard with peanuts, but the teachers cannot be expected to know all ingredients in prepared cooked food. They can be expected to only use what you send.

Good luck in keeping your daughter safe. As she gets older she will realize she cannot eat everything (or at first ANYTHING) the other children eat. I hope this is an allergy she will outgrow, but otherwise it will take a lot of persistence.

Blessings on you both and lots of luck in working this out!! N.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

If the teacher will not learn to use an EpiPen, speak with the Director. Every teacher should have taken CPR and First Aid at a minimum, and First Aid does cover the use of Epi Pens. It's not difficult, and if this is what makes the difference between life and death for your child, her caregivers need to know how to use it. Additionally, state law provides for "good samaritans" to be protected from lawsuits if they did their best to provide care for someone in an emergency - so saying she won't use the EpiPen for liability reasons is silly. If the preschool will not support you in this, this is the wrong school for you and your child.

As far as snacks go - I have not seen a preschool yet that will tell parents they can't give their own children nuts or eggs because of another child's allergy. There are so many different life-threatening allergies, it would be extremely difficult for all parents to keep track of everything they can't give their own child (from dairy to nuts to wheat to strawberries to eggs... you name it, somebody is allergic to it). We've been at 3 different preschools between our two kids, and in every class there is always a child with severe food allergies of one kind or another. Usually what happens is that the child with allergies has to bring their own food, and usually they will post signs in visible places in the kitchen that say in big letters, "Kaylie cannot have nuts of any kind!" "Justin cannot have dairy!" etc. to remind the teachers in case another child has brought food to share (cupcakes on their birthday, or whatever). Also you can request that if a child's birthday is coming up and the birthday child is bringing a treat to share, that you be notified in advance so you can bring something for your child to have so she won't be left out, and so she won't be tempted to try and eat something that she may be allergic to.

Also, if she doesn't already have one, you should get a medicalert bracelet... just in case.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Find a new preschool! You may need to seek a private school. And YOU need to become an advocate for your child and speak up and hold meetings, teach others to use the EpiPen, etc. You should be able to get a fake EpiPen so people can get used to how to use it properly.

My daughter had a little boy with nut allergies in her preschool (he went to her elementary school too). The teachers and mom had a special talk about how some food could make him very sick and so they couldn't share. We had a special parent meeting about his allergies and what we could NOT send to school for snacks. In Kindergarten, the teacher assigned two children (my daughter was one) as special helpers in case of emergency to run to the office to tell them to call 911. It wasn't that far, but they were also taught how to interrupt the adults without screaming. That allowed the teacher to deal with the child and EpiPen since you only have about 10 minutes. Thank goodness it never was needed.

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S.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Change preschools if possible. This does not sound like the most caring place for your little one. my daughters preschool has a note up about one of the children having allergies. all the students are being taught that he can't have the same thing as them sometimes, and DON'T SHARE FOOD which is very different than, "share the toys". the teachers have made sure they can respond with the epipen and are working with the parent and other parents to make sure the childs preschool experience is happy.

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Honestly, I would either talk to her superior, if there is one, or find a new preschool. As a teacher myself, I have been trained to use an Epi-pen and it is very simple. The district nurse came and trained us all at a staff meeting. I don't know what possible liability issues there could be with it. I would think she would be more liable by not being willing to give care to your child in the event of an emergency. This teacher sounds very unwilling to be helpful. I wouldn't send my child there! You go ahead and be "Mama Bear"!!

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S.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm not sure whether her teacher wants the liability of the EpiPen, like one mom mentioned. However, the teacher should therefore eliminate the need for it by requiring snacks that do not contain nuts or eggs. At the very least, there should be a place where he can eat where he wouldn't be exposed to those foods. Then all kids should wash their hands so that he wouldn't be exposed. Easiest would be to limit the snacks! If that doesn't work, then change preschools.

Good luck!

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N.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Regarding the epipen. If that really is the case don't go to that school, it's a life or death issue. I would check however with the administrator of the school regarding the epipen policy. Sometimes teachers don't want to deal with something or just don't know what to do and give a blanket response. If it is the school policy get her out of there quick.

Regarding the food issue, people are across the board on this and I really agree with Jill A's response, but for a different reason. I have a child with severe eating problems (not allergic) with the very few foods he eats with years of "working" with him and an OT. He basicly eats crackers and milk, if I had to not provide him things that have been in contact with eggs and nuts, my child would not be able to eat at all at school (though not life threating, it would be asking a child to not eat for several hours and all that goes with a hungry child.) Because of his issues I have great communication with the teachers about what he will and won't eat and how to handle his responses to food. I also provide all his food, including snacks and lunch. Teachers are very aware at our school of food allergies and the children with peanut allergies (and other allergies) have a table away from the other kids to avoid contact with there allergens. Working with the teachers and working to educate your child is the best way to deal with it. Depending on the severity of you childs' allergies would depend on what course of action to take. It she has a allergy so severe that it is touch based, be very careful with any preschool enviorment as many kids in the 3-5 range still mouth toys and are not the best at washing hands, regardless of the teachers deligence. If it is strictly an ingestion allergy, most preschools would work really well with the situation and work with you, however it is something that open communication from the beginning including the interview process should help. Most of all trust your gut, if your preschool will not work with you it is not a good fit for you. Please remember we all part of the community and should work together to support each other, not make the community bend to us. Also ask yourself how will or have you dealt with birthday parties and other events where you do not control the enviorment and food.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

You already have all the basic advice you need, but I just wanted to add that in addition to moving your daughter to another school, this school should be reported to whatever licensing board certifies them. This is a basic safety issue. Perhaps a threat to their ability to continue business will get there attention. Their license to operate should be posted in the office or other main area. Just take a look at it and see what agency issued it. Give them a call and see what they can do to help. Even if your daughter moves to another school, you will be doing a great service to the next mom that comes along with these same issues.

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C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Lots of red flags here. If the teacher is not willing to accept the fact that your daughter has allergies and deal with it and her refusal to use an EpiPen, then your daughter should NOT be going to that preschool.

It is time to do your research into all the preschools around and find one that is suitable to your daughter's needs. There is no way my child would be going to a preschool that did not fit.

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My son (almost 11) is allergic to peanuts too. I think I was most nervious about it when my son was ages 3,4,5. I think it was because he was going more places without me. It will get better. Many, many preschools are nut-free because so many children are allergic to them. Do not be afraid/reluctant to tell everyone that your daughter is allergic to peanuts & eggs. Most moms will be very accommidating. Eggs are a bit more difficult to avoid because baked goods play such a role in all our celebrations. Can she have rice crispy treats? I bring a big box in at the beginning of the school year and give it to my son's teacher to use if needed. If I am not a room mom, I write a letter to the room moms, telling them of his allergies and suggesting things that he can eat. I also write a letter to his new teacher each year and bring it in to the office BEFORE school starts. It is too crazy to try and explain the allergies on the first day. My kids' elementary school (public) has a no peanut policy for school parties in the classroom, PB&J is OK in the cafeteria.

You are just going to have to be more vigilent than most parents. You will still encounter some very intolerent attitudes (as seen by some of the responses you received). If it is a teacher - report them immediately. The classroom needs to be a safe place for all children.

If by chance there is some baked good made by Costco with out eggs (and peanuts) - DO NOT let your daughter eat it. Costco does not clean its machines between products and cross-contamination is common. My son has had 2 reactions from eating a piece of Costco cake (choc w/white frosting). I have heard of other instances also. Safeway bakeries are OK, they seem to have better cleaning habits.

I was allergic to eggs when I was younger. I won't eat anything that looks "eggy", but I can eat baked goods with eggs in them now. It is an allergy that you can outgrow.

You did the right thing in pulling her out of that uncaring preschool. Good luck, it does get easier as your daughter gets older. I completely understand what you are going through.

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C.H.

answers from San Francisco on

It seems to me like this is really wrong! If they are worried about lawsuits they should work to protect your child in any way they can. I can imagine how scary and frustrating this would be for you.

My daughter just started school at Marin Day Schools. They have a child attending there with peanut allergies and have a firm policy that no peanut products are allowed. They also are trained and willing to use the EpiPen should they have to.

Marin Day School is pretty expensive and may not be in your area but perhaps they would be a good starting point. Give them a call and see if they have any advice on how to change the policy in your daughters school, or maybe they know of better schools in your area. Let me know if you want the name and number of the contact person.

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K.I.

answers from San Francisco on

I would look for a new preschool. If the teacher and staff is not worried about your childs safety then it micght not be the right place for her.

It is hard to have a nut and egg free class but I know that my sons teacher has requested no peanut lunches or snacks. Some still send them but I don't, and she takes the kids and makes sure that they are well apart from each other and cleans up right away.

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J.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Find a new preschool!!!! At my son's school for snack they are not allowed any peanuts because one kid has an allergy but during lunch they have a peanut free table. My main reason for telling you to get a new preschool is the epipen...the teacher should know how to use one since it could save a child's life and I can't imagine a 3 year old knowing how to use one.

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K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

being a Mom of a little one that started school and will ONLY eat peanut butter, and cheese, Even I would be willing to accomodate a life threatening allergy and not bring those things to school. Maybe you could appeal to the Mom's. Have a party, invite all the kids in class, and use it as a forum for learning.

I can't help but wonder if the teacher refused to learn CPR for the potential law suits. The school board needs a chance to act on this. Be sure the school knows your concerns.

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M.H.

answers from Merced on

I'm not sure, but that might just be illegal! I work in a childcare and we ALL are CPR and FIRST AID certified and part of that was training to use an Epi-pen. I know that there has to be at least one certified person in the building at all times, but I know how that can be somewhat UNassuring. If it were I in your position, I would take her aside and let her know that if anything were to EVER happen and she were to recklessly allow my child to be even exposed to nuts or eggs and there were even a small reaction, I would do everything in my power to have her job...and possibly sue her for all she owns or ever will own! (Okay, so that's extreme...I have a Mama Bear living in me too! lol) Your best bet is to talk to her superior and strongly voice your opinions/concerns! Your child's life is at risk here. Peanut allergies are not something you mess around with! Most schools are willing to be a "Peanut Free Facility" if they know that they have a child on campus with an anaphelactic reaction to peanuts. *Your daughter's school should be informed that even if your child were to just sit where somebody else had left even a small trace of peanut butter/oil on the surface where she is eating, and it were to get onto her hands and into her mouth, eyes, etc...she could be in serious danger!!!! Let her boss know how she handled the situation when you tried to speak to her about it. I've never heard of somebody being so wreckless with a child's life when they work with children everyday for a living. What if it were her OWN child? Maybe she needs to be asked that! Good Luck to you...and just know, sometimes it's good to let a little bit of our Mama Bear out from time to time...or else she'll get out on her own eventually and the consequences could be catastrophic! LOL...but seriously!

GOD BLESS you and yours!

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L.M.

answers from Fresno on

First off, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. This is a LIFE THREATING situation and this teacher does not seem to care!! She odviously doesn't need to be a teacher!!

I'd find yourself another preschool AND make a formal complaint including this teachers name!! As a school they are required to know basic life saving skills INCLUDING allergies!!

Good Luck!!

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A.T.

answers from Stockton on

find a new pre-school! My son went to a CDC program and they were vigilant about allergy issues and petty good at sending sick kids home too (another fun topic). Also ask to pass out notes for the other parents about your daughter's allergy - most people will be happy to help even if the teachers are useless.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

O.,

RUN as fast as you can from that preschool! Every reputable preschool is supposed to be trained in CPR, First Aid, and know what to do for anaphalaxis (severe allergic reaction) and work with the parents on any special dietary needs the child has etc. I would find another preschool one who will listen to you and work with you on your child's individual needs. This is horrible! Good luck and I am sorry you are having to go through this!

Molly

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J.M.

answers from Fresno on

Get a new pre-school now. This is a saftey issue and if the teacher is not taking it seriously you need to get your child out of there before she is injured.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Hi- I would change pre-schools. The thing that bothers me is the teachers reference to liability. Administering any type of first aid or medical care can fall under that umbrella and there could be a possibility for a lawsuit. If a child is choking, needs CPR or injures themselves and needs first aid I would hope the teacher and school would do what ever it takes to help that student without concern for legal problems down the road. Don't they have insurance for that sort of thing, what about a release of some sort that says they will administer the Epipen as instructed but are not responsible for the effect? All these are good questions but honestly I wouldn't even bother with this school, they do not seem to have your daughters best interest at heart and that is more important than anything!

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A.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Get her out of there. If this teacher doesn't care enough about the well being of your daughter she shouldn't be caring for her. That's ridiculous, unprofessional and she shouldn't be running a preschool, in fact she should be reported to licensing. I know how difficult it is to find the right school but if she's not even willing to do something like monitor her snacks for you, you'll be worrying everyday if she's okay. I don't get it, she'd rather have a lawsuit over the potential death of a child than one where she took precautions and administered the medication needed? I don't usually get passionate in my mamasource responses, but this is so clearly out of line it's infuriating.

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J.A.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello...first of all if you do not think this is the right place for your child, take her out.

As far as the epipen I have never heard of a teacher refusing to learn how to use it (I taught for 10 years and had to learn to use it.) I would think she would be protected from law suits by her school. I would talk with the director/owner of the school.

As far as snack I have to really agree with Catherine on this. It is pretty hard for a preschool to control what other parents feed their kids. It is up to you and your child to make sure that she is only eating what she can. At my kids preschool their was a little girl with severe food allergies. Her mom's philosophy was that her child knows what she can and can't eat (she didn't enroll her in preschool until she felt confident with this) and didn't want to leave it up to other parents/children to make sure her child was safe. She was going to make sure her child was safe before putting her in the situation. Her feeling was that her daughter was going to have to live with these allergies the rest of her life and she needed to know how to handle it. The parent made the school very aware of what the food allergies were and signs were posted all over the school (with the foods she couldn't eat and what to do if she had a reaction). This was a parent co-op so each day a different parent would be in charge of bringing a snack. This little girl brought her own snack and everyone knew that she was only to eat what she brought (and she knew too). And all the kids had to wash their hands after they ate because she was sensitive to the touch of some foods. Her mom left some special treat type stuff at school if there was a holiday or b-day.

When this child first enrolled this was the first time the school had had a child with severe food allergies. We asked her if we should ban certain foods (her daughter has so many allergies there was no way to ban all) and she said ABSOLUETLY NOT. She is completely agaist schools doing that. As I mentioned earlier, she felt strongly that it was her job to make sure her child was safe, not another parent. She said it was up to her to educate the staff and parents and for her to provide the food for her child and up to her child to make sure she didn't eat what she wasn't suppose to. Now, that doesn't mean that the teacher didn't keep a close eye on her, because she did. But overall the girl was very responsible and only ate what she knew she could. She knows the other foods will make her sick and she doesn't want to feel that way.

So, I would definately talk to the director/owner of the preschool and see if you can come to an agreement/plan on how to handle your child's allergies. Don't leave it up to the preschool. People working together can do amazing things...good luck.

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B.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I would check the laws for preschools, since I would think it would be a safety issue for people not to know how to use the epi-pen to help her.

Otherwise, I would choose another preschool.

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T.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I am sorry you are going through this but do not dispair. I have kids in Marin who have been in three different preschools. EVERY one of them are no NUTS. My son is now in kindergarten and there are three classrooms and he is in the one classroom that is NO NUTS....and I mean NO NUTS of any kind. My kids are not allergic but we have respected the rules and the safety of the allergic kids in theri classes. One they get to first grade these rules will go away and the allergic kids will be mature enough to not eat other kids food. Research the laws.....and find another preschool. The not being willing to learn how to use an epi pen is a major warning sign.

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H.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you need to find another school that is more supportive. We went to a school that no nuts were allowed due to one student having an allergy. Everyone obided by the rule... no one would jeapardize the health of a child. It's easy to just not send it. The teacher/school should be sending a note home. If they refuse, then you should leave on the grounds that it is not safe. I understand why the teacher would not want to know how to administer the epi-pen, but if it's life and death... she needs to save your daughter. Think of it, if she was running in front of a car, the teacher would stop her. It's the same thing... life saving. It will be hard once you go to a larger school or public school, but for now... you are paying and there are better options... maybe not as convenient, but you need to be confident that your daughter won't be exposed.
Good luck!

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P.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Gosh

What an ancient world your preschool teacher is in. If the teacher can;t accommodate this issue, then what other issues are they "firm" on. I shudder to think.

Switch school. If you don't want to do that, you need to make an appt. with the Principal, this is a real emergency.

P.

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C.P.

answers from Sacramento on

I think the best way to address the snack issue is to just send your child to school with her own snack. I don't know why the teacher would have a problem gently reminding your daughter that she cannot have school snack.

As for the epipen...I think someone there has to learn how to use it under the americans with disabilities act. There should not be a "law suit" issue if you sign a permission form. This is what you would have to do once your daughter gets into elementary school.

Another thought is if this is such a big issue...is this really the right preschool for you?

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N.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Honestly I would suggest finding a new pre-school. Your child is too young to administer the shot to herself and is too young to read labels or decipher which foods are okay to consume so therefore the allergy almost falls under an ADA situation. If this pre-school is your only option I would suggest having a meeting with the teacher and the director regarding your daughters situation. I am hoping your daughters allergy is by ingestion only and not by touch. If so you are much more likely to have success in this situation and the future. If it is by touch I would be nervous. But with that said make an appointment to speak to the teacher and the director after school hours and without children. Make a list clearly defining what the reaction looks like and the protocol to follow. (Sometimes it can be helped with just some benadryl etc) If the teacher refuses to administer the epipen be sure that 911 is the first item on your protocol along with the correct verbage for the teacher to tell the dispatcher. (Allergic reaction in process no epipen administered, but one is on site....etc.) Next there should be an alternative that you can do as far as snack goes. Be sure that you strictly enforce that no one in the classroom is allowed to give your child a snack/lunch at any point throughout the day. Make sure that a note goes home to the parents regarding your child's allergy and to encourage parents not to pack those types of snacks. You should pack an alternate snack for your child so that you know what she is eating is keeping her safe. Implementing this may be time consuming for the teacher, but if she is unwilling to administer the epipen the least she can do is be sure that your child does not eat any snacks other than the ones provided by you.

I am really sorry you are dealing with this! I have a really good friend who is battling with the public school district and her son is allergic by touch and they won't do anything. It is only going to get harder for you so be sure to know that it is their responsibility to keep your child safe while they are taking care of her. You did not do anything wrong simply because your child has an allergy. If they can't provide a safe environment start looking for an alternate location!
GOOD LUCK!

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Find a new day care/pre school. The child's safety should be their first priority.

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Greetings O.: I have read your responses & wanted to add a few more thoughts for you to think about.
I have had a "Day Care" for many years. I have had several disabled children - (my own son has Aspbergers Syndrom), over the years. In none of my training have I **ever** been talked to about Epi Pen's. I went to school to be trained as a CNA, Certified Nurses Assistant and it was never discussed there.
I am sure that now it is brought up when you become a foster parent, but it sure was not when I got my training.
The amount of insurance one must have as a care provider is very healthy. It really may have something to do with how theirs is set up. I am guessing that you didn't check that part when you did your search this time.
You have learned a valuable lesson. One that will be with you the rest of your child's life and will help with the needsof your lovely child.
Since I have a child with a disability, I have been known to take on the school district, and work my way up to the state leval more than once. I am suggesting that you check with your school district when your child starts kindergarden. Join the SELPHA. They have meetings maybe 5 times a year. You will learn if this medical problem will fall under special education in anyway-- why?? because you get to know personally every person in any district and build yourself a co-op of help that you will use over the years. Most of all you will meet the people that will educate all those that you need to learn about your childs needs. I have sat on the CAC Community Advisory Committee, for many years.
You are at the starting gate of educating people. It is a rough foundation to build but one that you can. This is becoming a greater problem now a days than ever before. One that I had not even learned about until hearing Trace Atkins talk about it on a TV show. Then when many parents started a protest at one of my grandchildren's school because they couldn't even have M&M's because of the peanuts & peanut oil in the plain m&m's. You are asking that everyone remake thier lives to suit yours. This I do understand because I did it. The battle scare will be badges of honor in a time to come. Your child will appreciate the mother that will clear the way for her in times to come. You have my vote.
Good & Valiant Fight, Nana G

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

ThIt is very important to teach your daughter that she can't have anysnacks when away from home and the school has to be informed of ther allergies and have doctor notification on file. They should be told that she is not allowed to have snacks at school and that other accomodations should be given her if they are having a party. You could have snacks left at school for her that she can have. They have to accomodate her.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

A little different 'take' on the epi-pen issue. I don't know what type of daycare you have her in, but if it's a center, there is likely a rule that only certain staff can administer meds, which would include the epi-pen. You might want to check the policy on that. It may be that the teacher isn't allowed to do those things, but an office staff person can, and will.
As for other foods being served, some centers are peanut free now, but I haven't heard of any restricting eggs. You have to realize that there are so many different allergies that if every food one child is allergic to were completely banned, it's possible that they wouldn't be able to feed any of the kids. Each room should have a good place where they display an allergy alert chart so that each and every teacher who works in that room can easily see what children are allergic and to what and avoid giving them the wrong foods. You should emphasize not only what your child can't have, but how she reacts to that food. It sounds like your child has some severe reactions, not just a little discomfort, so be sure the staff understands that part of it.
If you truly feel that this daycare isn't trying to meet your daughter's needs at all, by all means start looking for one that will.

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C.S.

answers from Sacramento on

O.,
Is that a public preschool? I would go straight to the governing body over that school. That's not right. If it's a private school, the advice of a new school is definitely a good one.
Also, are you using Benedryl before an epi pen?
My daughter can't even smell peanuts. The doctor told us to give her Benedryl and the ONLY time to use an epi pen was if she was unable to speak.
We've used the Benedryl many times and have never needed to go beyond that. Thankfully, because the doctor said that if we need to use the pen, of course use it, but that there is a big price to be paid. It is a damaging drug. He said to always have it but do everything in our power to never need it.
Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

As others said, I would bring your own snack regardless of what you decide to do on switching pre-schools or not. Simply because, you are experienced in label reading, and I wouln't count on others to take the same due dilligence. This is coming from a mom with a son with food allergies! You will feel much more relaxed if you know things are safe.
I agree with the others about the EpiPen...this is a life saving measure and shouldn't be ignored. You can call the child liscencing center to check on the issue.

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K.H.

answers from Sacramento on

O.,
I know this is easier said than done, but I would change schools. There is no excuse for a school not taking your child's allergies seriously. There are other preschools out there I'm sure that would do what they can and are familiar with these type of needs.

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M.L.

answers from Redding on

I think it I would find a new school. I would think the teacher should be more afraid of being sued for NOT using the epi-pen.
My son has a classmate who is very allergic to peanuts. I was concerned when I first found out as my son lives off of PB&J but their school policy is that they ask that any kids who have eaten Peanut products before school wash hands face, & brush teeth before coming to school. So, my son doesn't have PB on school days just in case we miss a spot or don't have time to wash. We also recently switched to Almond Butter as an added precaution.
His preschool teacher provides the snacks so they are nut free. Any birthday treats that are brought in have to be prepackaged, not home made so adults can check labels. In the cafeteria they have a nut-free table. This school policy seems to be working out well for everyone. And his classmate does have an epi-pen on hand, just in case.

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J.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there! I'm not sure what area you live in, but you should totally check into CCNS (Cupertino Coop Nursery School). They have a super strict policy on no nuts in the school and the teachers carry an epi-pen on their person and have no trouble using it (why would they when they will be saving a life!!!). It's behind Fremont High School in Sunnyvale and is private.

Hope this helps...

J.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear O.,

“But I better keep a grip on Mama Bear."

You are correct, do get a grip. It is up to you and her father (If he is a part of the picture) to pre-screen/select a school well in advance of the 1st day, that can accommodate a child with special needs. All other children’s food should not have to be changed because your child has allergies.

It seems that your little one requires extra care and that may mean extra cost and/or being in a smaller group with a care giver that “is” willing to learn the use of the EpiPen and keep a very close eye on what she eats. I wish you all the best.

Blessings.....

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W.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I would call around to other preschools and ask them about the epi-pen dispensing. (what their policy is.) The only preschool that I know of was nut free and it as in Sacramento and then the Jr. colleges have one too, but you have to be a student to have your child enrolled.
W. M.

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D.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree that the teacher should learn to use the EpiPen for not only your daughter but for any child that she has in her class that may have allergies. It's just a smart thing to do when you deal with children on a regular basis.
I will say though, I dont think its fair that one person determines the rules for the whole class. I wish that you and your daughter didnt have to deal with allergies but the truth is, not everyone will be able to cater to you and your daughter.
I feel that this is an opportunity for you to begin teaching your daughter that you cannot control others and what they do, but you can control yourself and your reaction. Find a way for this to work. If you are not happy with the school your daughter goes to and their inability to learn the EpiPen, put her in a new school. Look for a school that is more sensitive to allergies? You may have consider homeschool? There are other avenues out there...unfortunatly life isnt always fair and this will be the start of teaching your daughter that you can overcome.

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K.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I would definitely either find a new preschool or contact the preschool administrator and discuss your concerns. My son's been in several classes with restrictions and the school has always put that child first -- which in turn, has been a GREAT teaching lesson for the other kids about doing what is right by the whole group (not just what he wants). All of the kids know they don't want the other child to be sick, so they are very careful. Good luck.

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H.P.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with taking your daughter out of that preschool and making a bit of a stink with the higher ups at the school to try to get them to change policy or get rid of that teacher.

One other thought - does your daughter need to be in preschool at this point? If you are able to be at home with her then maybe that would be best until she is able to be a better advocate for herself and make sure she speaks up and stays away from allergens. I'm sure you could do an excellent job teaching her the alphabet and other things she'd be learning, and if you're concerned about social interactions then find a play group where snack isn't involved! :)

H.

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S.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Well, I believe that there are laws that require schools to make accomodations for students with allergies. Every school I have worked at requires that there be a specific table for the kids with peanut allergies (or any others). The kids have to eat outside though. As for the Epi, I know that when I worked at a preschool I was shown how to use the epi in case one of the kids needed it. It's very difficult to require that other kids not bring peanut products, especially when times are so tough for most people right now (Peanut Butter is way cheaper than deli meat). But she should make accomodations without making your daughter feel singled out. If the school is not going to work with you I would suggest finding another preschool.

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

This is simple, take her out of that pre-school and complain to the person that runs it.

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T.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I know you received many responses, so this may be a repeat. I've been VERY happy with Bright Horizons (a chain) for my son's preschool. He has many food allergies and is ana & contact sensitive to peanuts. If you haven't yet, check out www.foodallergy.org for support (Food Allergy and Anaphylactic Network). There is also a support group in your area. Feel free to contact me directly with any questions. T.

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I would talk directly to the head of the preschool about this issue. I have two kids who have been in couple of different daycares/preschools and now schools and I have never heard of such disregard for a child's safety.

If you don't get action, I would pull your kid out pronto and get legal advice.

take care M.

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S.D.

answers from San Francisco on

first of all you need to find a new preschool or just switch teachers. you can also try talking to the director because this teacher obviously does not have your daughters best interest in mind. using an epi pen is standard for food allergies and are so easy to use. I'm not sure why she would be afraid of a lawsuit. I would think this carelessness would be more grounds for a lawsuit. hopefully that helps.
good luck
S.

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

OMG! You must call and speak with the school administrators immediately. Your daughter has a right to be there and they should be able to accommandate her. I've been to a school where there was a child who was allergic to peanuts and that classroom was deemed "nut-free". My kids' whole public elementary school was "nut-free" also. Sure, it's a hassle for the rest of us not to send our kids with pb&j sandwiches but we managed for the health of the kids that were allergic. Depending on how severe her allergy is, there also can be hidden nuts (or at least "processed in a facility that uses nuts") in granola bars, cereal, etc. Start educationing your daughter to question anything that she eats. I think this is a good time for "Mama Bear" to come out; otherwise your daughter may have an allergic reaction and the teacher would rather risk her going to the hospital than using the EpiPen? Eliminating the eggs and nuts in her classroom will safely guide her NOT to have to use the EpiPen. Good luck!

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