Ever Not like Your Husband for No Reason?

Haha. I've felt exactly the same way sometimes. I always try to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place and try to remember his good qualities. It's just a mood. One that will probably pass. I don't think it's depression. Not at all.

if your feelings have been this way for just a short time...like under 2 weeks, perhaps you just need a break....maybe 30 minutes all to yourself every so often (long bubble baths are great if you can get uninterupted time) or even a short walk just to clear your head....i have been really overwhelmed with my 3 kids and a husband and trust me they are my everything...but sometimes too much of a good thing can wreck havoc on you....ive noticed that even getting out of the house and enjoying the fresh air is sometimes all it takes....or if you rather be inside...find a good tv show or something that you can totally veg out to on occasion....and remember that just bc you dont like your husband sometimes doesnt mean you do not love him...if your feelings continue you may need professional help.....i wish you the best

Sounds like you're in a rut and don't realize. Go out have a good time and really let go. Drink alcohol, have the kids spend the night somewhere. Argue with your husband. Watch so many sad movies you cry or something to shake you up. You're emotions are taking a vacation, bring them back!
Then if nothing is different, I would talk to someone.

J.,

It could be depression, for sure. And as a person who has suffered from depression and knows that it runs in my family, the thought that any unhappiness is related to depression is always in the back of my mind. HOWEVER, I wouldn't be so quick to worry about depression just yet. If you have an 8-year-old together, that means that you've at least been together for 9 years... if not many more. Sometimes with the stress of a family, a house, a marriage... well, sometimes we just need a break, even from those that we love so much! Don't feel guilty or that you have a problem. Just take a little mini-vacation... by yourself, or with a girlfriend or two. Get out of the house, get pampered, dress up, have a nice dinner, sleep in a (hotel) room that you are not responsible for cleaning and just relax for a day or two! If after all that you still are having worries, then talk to someone. But try it, a little time away may be all that you need.

Hey J.!! Big question here, try and think back and see if these feelings tend to happen at the same time every month. I had these exact same things happening to me for about a year or so, and I finally realized (with the help of my husband's little comments) that it was happening during the same week every month! Well, I just turned 30, and didn't realize that around that age, your body really starts changing. I called my OB GYN and told her that I'm having about a week or two every month where I just absolutely can't stand my husband and I'm super short with the children and even I could barely stand to be around myself. I told her it was really taking a toll on my marriage. I mean, we weren't in trouble as far as divorce goes, but I was really getting worried about how much I was hating my husband! She said that at around 30, your body starts producing less and less hormones and therefore can have a major affect on your mood during times of your period or ovulation. Well, mine happens to be the week or so before my period, I'm talking major PMS! Anyway, she put me on a very mild dose of prozac and it states on the prescription "take one capsule per mouth days 14 through menses", so as far as insurance goes, they can't say that it's anything psychological. It's only for my pms. I'm telling you what, it works SO WELL! I mean, before, I'd wake up in the morning and just feel angry. My husband would ask me a simple question and I would snap at him like he was inconveniencing me by talking to me! It was awful! Now, right around when I know it's close, I just pay attention and the first day that comes where I wake up and am feeling angry for no particular reason, I just go ahead and take one. I stop the day that I start my period because the symptoms all go away like magic as soon as I start, very weird!

I have found out that there are SO MANY women out there who take an anti depressant during certain times of the month where their hormones really get the best of them, so I'm proud and totally happy to say that it really works! I mean, it's changed my life during those weeks like you wouldn't believe! If you decide to look into it, you really only have to call and speak with a nurse at your OB GYN's office and explain to her what's going on and then ask her to talk to your doctor to see if there's something she can prescribe for you. My doctor phoned mine in for me. I would also specify that you really need the label to say that it is strictly for symptoms related to menses, which I have learned is the medical term for "period"

J., It sounds like you got alot of good advice to choice from or try all of them. I have been in the same spot you are in now. The one thing that helped me and help both my husband and I was, I decided to just sit down and talk to him. I told him I had something to say that could hurt his feeling but that he just needed to listen and not say anything. ( so he did) After all was said and done my husband confused and kind of sad that I felt that way apolagized and agreed to help. So we figured maybe mom just needs to get away for a little bit. So I called my parents in VA that I had not seen in a while and went there for a week. It was very hard being with out my kids and husband but by the time I came home to me it seemed like things were different or back to normal. Every once in a while everyone needs some kind of break. If it is going away for a week or just a night out with the girls or even staying the night at a hotel. Hope everything gets better for you and your family. T.

And the boredom sets in. Ever eat the same thing every day for a really long time, then even though it's your favorite thing in the world you can't stand the sight of it? It could be depression making you feel this way, or it could be the change of season...you've been trapped in the house all winter long with them and that sucks, or maybe you're just bored. It's nice out, take up jogging, get in a pottery class...just do something different to break up the monotony of your days and see if that helps you. If not then try counseling. I feel the same exact way that you do at times and all it's been for me is because I fall into this way predictable routine because it makes things run smoothly but after a while I'm bored and I need to go out to the movies with my friends, or go bowling, shoot some pool, just something different and after a couple of weeks I'm fine for a while and can go back to normal life style. Good luck to you.

that happens to me sometimes too. that's when i know it's time to have a girl's night out or some "me" time. even if you just go to target and walk around, it's nice to have a break. there's nothing like being away from home to make you appreciate it! it's not just for you too, your family will appreciate not getting snapped at too!

J.,
First let me say way to go. You have it all. But, try taking some time to yourself. Go to a movie or for a long walk alone. No hubby no kids. It does wonders. Everyone needs a break from the norm.

Yep~ I feel that way on a daily basis!! Or I did, now I will admit that it is not as bad, nor as often. I had all my levels checked to & my doc, tried zoloft & paxil & paxil cr & prozac. I found that Paxil CR was a godsend. I had been diagnosed previously with severe anxiety & now she was questioning PMDD.... Some that have PMDD are only on meds for 1-2 weeks for PMDD symptpms while going thru PMS. But She & I as well as 2 other doctors, found that I have PMDD so severe that I am treated DAILY for it. My hubby has noticed a big change in my mood swings. They are less often & much less severe. My kids, they ask me NOW, why I use to be soo mean. I just tell them that I was not feeling well & now I have medicine that has balanced me out. And they like it. Before anyone told me that they had noticed the change. I could tell it~ That made me a beleiver there that MEDS can help more than a headache. I hated that I had to be medicated for such issues. But I cannot see me, WITH MY FAMILY, without it. And I love the fact that I can wake up & not dread do it all again. I do not work. I have 4 kids & an active duty husband in the ARMY. He is an E8 which means he only has 1 more rank to go. And for me it all means alot of SOCIAL GATHERINGS, that I have to show face & not hide my family. I enjoy it even though I am not a people person now. I guess the happy pills are worth it!!
ALL JOKING ASIDE~ the meds do NOT make me high, dillusional, sleepy, happy, sad or anything. Its like they just even me out. They make me, ME AGAIN. I actually have a life with them. The only side effects I have had with them (zoloft, paxil & wellbeturin (sp) were sexually related. I wanted sex as normal as ever, but wanting it was as good as it got for me. The paxil CR did NOT react this way & nor has the PROZAC that I am on now. I will be switching back to the paxil cr soon. But about a year or more ago, there was a shortage on the paxil cr & I REFUSED to go back on the paxil. So doc suggested the Prozac. No issues with it. none at all. But I noticed perkier feelings with the paxil cr.
I am sure that you are as in love with your hubby as much or more than you have ever been. And I can guarantee that you do not hate your kids as we sometimes feel. Or I did~ So I hope that you continue trying to find what works for you. But know that its not you alone. There are MANY of us out there that have same feelings & only so many that try to control it before it controls us. I love my life & family... I do miss working~ I was in nursing & would love to go back into it. But do not want to, until my hubby retires from the army. Then he can stay home & I CAN WORK.... Nursing is just 2nd nature for me. I have my Mama to thank for that~
If you need to vent.. do so at (____@____.com) I do not mind. I am going to your website, now. I maybe interested in doing that from home. It would give my kids more spending money. Hope things work out & keep me posted~

I have been in your shoes, i am currently pregnant with my second child, (first is actually my husbands, but i have adopted him), I have what has been diagnosed as dysthimia, it is a very mild form a depression, but the down side of it is that it wont go away, like some other forms of depression, and it took me loosing my 3 child (miscarriage) to actually seek treatment for it, i had no idea that i actually had a form of depression, because i didnt have the a-typical depression signs, you know the tiredness, sadness, eating problems, or the poor me feelings. i would however from time to time, not want anyone around me, i would get in moods where i would be extreamly short with my son, and everyone in my family, my lows are very low, after the loss of my 3 baby, i found myself having very bizarre thoughts, thoughts that i would never act upon, but still the same, i could be driving down the road and just have a thought pop in to my head, like i wonder what would happen if i wrapped my car around that telephone pole, or driving over a bridge that the river was over filled, i wonder if i drove in to that if i could get out. weird stuff like that, and it scared me. because i am not that type of person i had no idea where those thoughts were coming from, i wouldnt call them thoughts of suicide and neither would my doctor, but still the same considering the fact that i never wanted to be around my family and when i was i would snap at them, he put me on zoloft, it made me feel better and my family noticed a differance, but i didnt like some of the side effects that i was having but before i could change to another medicen i got pregnant again, i have sometimes had a hard time even being in the same room as my husband, but he is very understanding and trys to help when he can, even if it is just taking our son away for a couple hours so that i can have some peace. hope this helps. good luck.

Does this usually happen during PMS times?? I was experiencing the same feelings and went to my dr. I was diagnosed with PMDD, very similar to PMS what has helped me was I take Serafem, it's a prescription medicenc days 14-28. It has made all the difference in the world!!!! If you want to try the more natural approach you can take St. John's Wort. Hope that helps!

J.

I have felt that way many times. I know all it took for me was a short vacation by myself. I actually went out of town for a conference or to see family. We have been married 13 years and after 7 I could not stand him at times. For me all it took was a break from eveything. I know I try to be super mom, super homemaker and super business owner. And trying to be those things burn you out. Good luck

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going through the same thing. Just him coming near me for a kiss i want to run. I am happily married with a 17 month old and I have no reason why I am acting this way. Oh and in the bedroom its worse. I dread going to bed, thank the lord he travles!!!! I feel like needy. Maybe thats because I don't want to be around him at all.
And another thing could you explain this work yo do from hom? It sound pretty intersting?

J.,
I am here to say your not alone. I am not married yet but will be June 2008. I find my self like this alot some times and yes even short with the kids. Sometimes I feel like it's because I feel like I never have any alone time by my self. I am always dealing with the kids ect.

Mandie~