Fending off Santa Comments?

I would simply say "we don't believe in santa.""Merry Christmas." I mean why spend money and give credit to someone else? I think that would get the point across quite well.

Although I know I'm not going to change your mind, nor do I want to. I would like to say that one of my absolute best childhood memories was Santa Claus and when I was older and on the cusp on knowing the truth, trying to catch Santa. Childhood is a time for delight and this holiday tradition is a huge part of that delight. I hope you ask you're children keep their knowledge to themselves in the understanding that the majority of the country wants their children to believe for as long as possible. What's important is to teach our children to respect other's beliefs, it's a great lesson to teach at this young age. Good luck with handling all the Santa conversations. You're going to need a good response to last you for a very long time.

Santa is celebrated in my house, Santa is about a childs imagination that there is the possiblity that there is magical and wonderful things that can happen in this world, whether man made or heaven sent, same for cherubs and angels that look over us, so I will admit I have a hard time with your question, but I will say this, why do you feel the need to let them know santa won't be coming, why not just thank them for question and reply with "they will be very happy christams morning".
My family background is jewish, but I was raised Christian, I had many friends from both walks of life, We said Merry Christmas to everyone one, most people who celebrate different holidays don't take it personaly, they say happy holidays back and that is the end. Todays world is to politically correct, it is maddning that everything someone says and does has to be sensored as to not offend people, even when it is meant with the best of intentions. You are choosing to not do the santa thing, but most people do so it really is up to you to find a way to handle the peoples comments, cause they really mean no harm by them, they are looking for the excitment of christmas morning in your childs eyes, us adults know the truth and like to relive that same joy threw the eyes of a child, there is nothing in this world as precious as the wonderment every little child has, whether it is for santa, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy and the prospect of that first tooth falling out and the new stage of life that she represents. What parents can do is limit how much of the comercialism that has become of x-mas, and quit joining the rat raise of one upping the family next door. Sorry if I sound like I am angry with you for choosing to not do santa, cause I am not, that is your choice, but I am frustrated when people want other people to change what they do just because someone chooses to not do it the same way.

I would say (as nicely as possible), "We choose to celebrate Christmas but without Santa's help. So no, Santa will not be visiting our house. Happy Holidays to you." I think your current response tends to lead them directly to "you better be good or Santa won't come." I know it's annoying to you (and anyone else that doesn't celebrate Christmas or other holidays for many reasons) but also try to keep in mind these people aren't intentionally trying to be rude, they are just in the spirit of the season. If your response to them is said nicely, then I'm sure they will just let it go. Besides, I always thought "Happy Holidays" was always a better thing to say than to just say "Merry Christmas" because you never know what holidays people celebrate.

With that said, Happy Holidays.

Just tell them you don't 'do' Santa in your house. I'm glad I can say that Santa is Papa and that stops any of the comments!

Seeing how the majority includes Santa in their Christmas celebration, there is no escaping these well wishing strangers.

It sounds like this might be a great opportunity to teach your children about tolerance of others. Maybe you could try telling your children that the great thing about Christmas is that all people show joy in different ways and they don't always mean to offend. Just like your family's beliefs are important, maybe your children could learn that other peoples' traditions are a big part of their lives as well.

I'd get the kids to look squarely in their eye and say...
'You KNOW he's not REAL, right?' If they're asking the kids, make sure the kids know how to answer their question. Or you could say to your kids..'Oh my, another grown up who doesn't know he's NOT REAL!' (tongue firmly in cheek)

I don't live in a place where people ask those kinds of questions, so I really don't know what it's like.
We don't make a big deal about Santa with our 3 year old. It's just another fictional character, like Mickey Mouse.

We don't really do 'Santa' either. For us, the magic of the season doesn't come from a man in a red suit or a man in a white gown and crown of thorns. But rather, how we can show the attitude and spirit these characters have come to represent. Selflessness, generosity, wisdom, love, caring, warmth. It's not what is in the present, it's that it IS a present.

And magic always seems the wrong word. We're scientists, researchers, so when we hear 'magic' we think, trick and deception, which certainly doesn't belong. There is a word where I live and it means... in a way... 'ambiance' I guess would be the closest 'English' word. (we'll forget it's French for now, ha ha). It's a feeling and a spirit created by the PEOPLE (and sometimes nature with the help of snow) who put in the effort to hang extra lights and play nice music and offer refreshments free of charge, and organize free events for the children.

Life is hard. Especially in the middle of winter. It's a good time to be really nice to each other and generous with what we have.

I've recently trained my kids to respond with "silly lady, Santa isn't real, he's just pretend." It was their own response at first. Now I simply prompt with something like, (directed at my son)"This lady thinks that Santa is real - is Santa real?" My kids usually add some funny ending like "Santa isn't real, just like Barney and Star wars!"

I do tell my kids that it is not okay to tell other little kids that Santa isn't real because they might be "believers."

(We are Christmas/Solstice celebrators. Our oposition to Santa is not religious, we just don't want to lie to our kids.)

Oh I feel your frustration and could tell you so many stories! We don't "do" those either and have been dealing with other people's comments and stuff for almost ten years now. Holidays mean different things to different people. Unfortunately, I've found that for me the best thing to do is to ignore strangers' comments and go with the flow. I don't necessary think it's okay not stand up for your beliefs, but it's just easier not to go back and forth with a stranger and all four of my kids tend to do the same thing with strangers. As far as extended family members, for the most part we agree to disagree.

Good luck!

To be honest, this is something I had to wrestle with myself. My family is Pagan and for a while the "We don't celebrate Christmas" was the way we went. Eventually you get very sick of the odd looks you get.

My fiance and I have found a way to consolidate Santa into our religious beliefs. Santa just visits our house a little earlier than th houses of Christian children (our Yule is the Winter solstice). He still fills stockings and puts presents under our tree (traditions that were not originally Christian, believe it or not).

We believe in religious tolerance and we have found a way to take other spiritual traditions a part of our own life. I believe that most religions do the same, this is just scaled-down to the family level.

I'll agree that Santa was one of my favorite things growing up. It's nice that I can pass this down to my kids so that they can have fun with it, too. But everyone has to deal with things in their own way. If you don't believe Santa is appropriate for your way of life then don't let anyone look down on you for raising your children without it. Good luck. :)

R.,
Just like you, my family does not do Santa, Easter Bunny, toothfairy, etc, either. It is sort of nice to hear other people have the same issues as I!! I think what has worked the best for me is to say "we don't do Santa at our house." As long as there aren't any other children around that it may "ruin" it for. I think this gets through to them that it is not that Santa just isn't coming to our house, but that we don't partake in the whole Santa thing. Most of the time after I make that comment there is an awkward silence and then the subject is changed. I hope that helps.

I am so glad you asked this question and I love the responses that everyone is giving. We want too celebrate Christ and not Santa and we have gotten the worst of all the looks and comments especially from family so my hats off to all of you that know there is more than Santa at this time of year and to all other religions that don't include Santa, now I don't feel like I am alone in this Santa crazy world and I love Lacy's comment. Thanks all and thanks R. for asking this!

I liked Katie's response. I know that things like that are annoying- I'd try to keep in mind that those people are just trying to be friendly and connect with you on some level- and while they've chosen the wrong topic, it is so hard to know what to say to people these days without offending them and it's at least nice that they are making an effort to say something they intend to be kind. I think a simple "oh, we don't believe in Santa" or something along the lines of what Katie said should suffice. I'd also consider finding some other "small talk" things to change the subject to- weather, how busy it is, etc- in general, I think many people are more comfortable talking about themselves when making small talk with a stranger and if you can turn the conversation back to them (i.e. are you traveling for the holidays, do you have your shopping done, etc.) - you'll have a shot at them leaving the Santa thing alone. Good Luck!

What is Sans Santa? I've never heard of it, and I am curious.

I've found that the direct approach sadly, is the only option. I would simply tell them your family doesn't believe in the concept of santa and that mom and dad bring all the presents for your children. Of course do this in the nicest way possible. Usually people are so shocked that they kinda just shut up and ring up your stuff or change the subject. Most of the time they will ask my kids something about what they want for christmas then or something inane like that. I've never had anyone ask any questions about why not or take it any further. They are working. They don't want to cause an issue and get fired. So like I said that usually just kills the converstation in some way, shape, or form.

I apologize to anyone who was offended by my post about how my 4 year old told someone that Santa was dead. I thought it was funny that such a little guy would make that assumption as I did NOT tell him that Santa was dead! But I have offended and that was not my intent. I have removed it so I hope all can forgive me! Merry Christmas!

I don't think you're going to have much luck fending off the Santa comments because you can't them not to happen and there's no real way that you can prevent them from happening. You might want to try saying something like "My children know Santa doesn't exist", because the shock value alone to a person might make them shut their mouths quicker than anything. I'm sure it gets annoying as the holiday season really gets into it, and while I have no doubt that everyone is well meaning, they don't know that your family doesn't celebrate Christmas with Santa as others do. I'd go with something that is polite with shock value and then walk away. That might be your only choice to avoid the Santa thing all together.

My family does celebrate, however I am friends with a family that does not celebrate any holidays. Please do keep in mind that the people making these comments are not trying to offend you or your children. I think people sometimes forget that not everyone celebrates. Instead of saying Santa is not coming to our house, maybe you could say something like, We celebrate everyday of life. Or simply say, we don't celebrate christmas. In a polite manner of course. The friends of mine usually say something like, "hope you have a great holiday, but my family does not celebrate any holidays. Then you have to think, how much harm are these people doing to you and your children by saying what they say? That is a decision only your family can make. Good Luck

Hi R.,

We also did not do Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc when my kids were growing up. My oldest was very verbal at a young age and not shy and would tell anyone there really wasn't a Santa Claus. That usually stopped the conversation. I also told relatives who told their kids about Santa Claus that if they did not want their kids to know the reality of Santa not to ask what Santa brought them. That usually workded.

I am a grandmother of 6.

After you tell someone you don't do Santa and they still say something, I would just ignore it. It really isn't that big of a deal anyway. If you feel it is an opportunity to witness, awesome, otherwise I feel it really isn't a huge deal, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just smile and say "Merry Christmas!"

I agree with the others. Try not to be offended by what many deem as a harmless holiday greeting to children. while you can say something to the effect of what's been stated in other posts, or like "We don't utilize the ideas of mythical figures in our celebrations."...don't forget to also help to teach your kids about how others may celebrate too. They will continually run into different celebration rituals and if they are mostly concerned with soliciting what they do they may have trouble when the shoe is on the other foot...Maybe you do that already, sometimes i know it is hard to remember to address sides other than the specific one your dealing with.

We also won't be doing "Santa" in my 2 year old's life, and once she is old enough to understand our reasonings, we will explain them to her, as well as why so many other people believe in Santa. Because reality is there is no way, especially now that we live in the friendly midwest, that she will not run into Santa Claus or mentions and focus on him in her life.
When cashiers or strangers who are just trying to be nice mention Santa, I just smile. People tend to get caught up in the Holiday Spirit and Santa tends to be a higher percentage of that. I would rather people came up to my child spouting about imaginary Santa than spouting facts about the harsh realities of life. The latter being my job to explain to her, the former being a harmless character. It is a strange analogy, but I tend to look at problems in life as "it could be worse". These people aren't being malicious, they are just trying to spread cheer, perhaps in a way that they don't realize may not be welcomed by everyone.

I think it is admirable for you to be strong in your values and beliefs.
Unfortunately, your beliefs and values are usually not very important to others you meet randomly. They don't know you or what you value. And like any unwanted well-wishes or advice, your answer is sufficient. Even if they persist in their comments, just smile and nod. Your responsibility is not to get those people to back off, but to remain consistent in what you tell your children.
A friend of mine does not participate in the typical "Santa comes to our house" and she tells her kids, once they return home, that Santa is something that some people believe, but we don't. They still live out their values and maintain the polite and holiday spirit, but her children know what she believes and how other people have different beliefs.