FIRES, FIREWORKS And KIDS??

I completely agree with you as far as the fireworks. I HATE them. I also think they are extremely dangerous.

When it comes to camp fires, it's a totally completely different story. My girls have been trained on how to properly start a fire and about fire safety. At age 10 I had no problem leaving them unsupervised. However, age 5 and 6 are too young.

Um. Let's break out the grey hair list: Mine sent my 3yo to the park across a busy street by himself (couldn't even reach the crosswalk button himself!), thought a 6mo should be able to "bathe themselves", and that an 8yo should be able to ride his bike on a street with a 35mph limit for 5mi -again, by himself- never actually haven ridden a bike on the street period.... the list goes on, and on, and on.

I have no problem with fires or fireworks while supervised, actually I have no problem with MOST of the things on my list (and it's dozens of items long) ***while supervised***. It's the brain donor concept of assuming that a child is just a small adult that drives me absolutely mad.

Now, there are MANY things I let my son do unsupervised that other parents don't (and vice versa), but that's because he's already had YEARS of "training" / knows how to do x, y, z safely and I've watched him enough to trust his judgement when things go south. Same for our friends whose kids do things unsupervised that my son isn't allowed to do. It's called GRADUALLY INCREASED LEVELS OF RESPONSIBILITY!!!

Deep. Long suffering. Sigh.

My boys are 8 (nearly 9) and 10. They've been around bonfires since a young age and know very well what they may or may not do. I often have a small fire for them on a Friday or Saturday night....and yes, I do leave them outside with it (checking on them every so often). They cook hotdogs on sticks and make s'mores. The same things I did when I was a child with very minimal supervision.

But they were raised this way and understand the rules. I'd never allow someone else' children to come into our yard to do this with my kids.

The rules are:
1. No running or wrestling.
2. The fire stays in the fire pit, not on cool torches carried around.
3. No burning anything that isn't wood or paper.
4. Absolutely no fireworks!
5. No ball games (baseball, soccer, football).

I've NEVER had a problem.

Here's the deal...if we raise our kids to be incapable of responsible behavior, we will have adults who are morons that are incapable of responsibility. Raising them and giving them wings to fly often means that we must allow them to be in some kind of danger. We do it from the moment they start walking (really! Why the heck do all those tables have sharp corners...to scare the snot out of us?!). So teach your children...and let dad teach too.

ETA: And regardless the decision on the fire situation....unsupervised fireworks is absolutely a *NO!* A friend of mine almost lost an eye when the LEFTOVERS from a firework were thrown into a fire and exploded.

Have you educated them about fire safety? We have fires inside and outside all the time. Young toddlers -no -they must be supervised, but kids that age should know to not play with fire or get too close. I completely agree with Christy P. -if you never allow your kids responsibilities (even with dangerous things) -then they'll be bumbling morons as adults! I mean -OMG!!!! at the other post about someone's 19 year old nephew not being allowed to start campfires????!!!! Good lord -do they still wipe his butt, too? When I was 19, we were camping on our own and building fires! I was in college with my own apartment, boyfriend, job, etc. Sorry, but in my opinion, we are coddling our children far too much these days. Safety is VERY important -educate your kids! But don't flip out over every little thing just because it *may* carry a physical risk. Just remember, more kids are killed and injured every year in car wrecks and household accidents (falling in tub, falling down stairs, etc.) than are hurt by bonfires or 4 wheelers.

The fireworks -no to kids and real fireworks that explode. Sparklers and smoke bombs for the elementary aged set don't bother me. Sure -they could get burned, but again -teach them!

I think that kids being unsupervised around fire (unless they are teens and only then if they actually behave and not do stupid things like throw firecrackers INTO the fire) is asking for trouble. We go camping every year with other families and the fire is never unattended by adults.

Sparklers are still fire and if the kids play fight with them, for example, they can cause serious burns.

In Boy Scouts, don't they learn fire safety? I remember in Girl Scouts on our first camping trip. we had all been taught the rules AND how to build outdoor fires for camping. We were in 3rd grade 8 and 9 years old.

I think it depends on your children. If they act silly and tend to try to break the rules, then no, they should not be allowed to be alone around a fire. But if your children are mindful and have been taught about the safety of fire, then I do not see a problem.

Fireworks are the same way.. We grew up with them and we respect them.. But if you misused them or did not follow the rules with them, you were not allowed to play with them or shoot them off.. Again I guess it depends on the children.

Sounds like the typical cool dad b.s. that men like to pull. We are the bitchy, no fun moms, while dad gets to have all the glory. Tell him to stop trying to be cool, is he their friend or dad?!

I'm not a fan of fireworks, fire, firecrackers, sparklers, etc. around kids.
O. 4th of July, we were sitting in a crowd of people on a large grassy area at a fair to see fireworks. It was packed. Some idiot it & threw an M*) into the crowd. It landed not even close and I STILL felt the rush from that M80. Just stupid. You know the old saying "It's fun til someone gets hurt." Not a risk I'm willing to take in that burns are O. of the WORST injuries out there.

Oh my goodness! I would freak out too! You are not too overprotective. You are being the smart parent. Your husband and his father need to take a fire safety course and speak to some real firefighters who can help train them in fire safety. What they are teaching your kids is dangerous and reckless. Take care of this with your hubby and kids and get on the same page asap. It only takes one spark for a child to light the house on fire--all in having fun etc. GL

M

Anything that has to do with safety is a big issue and not a nagging issue. My son is 10 and I will let him light them(against my husbands' wishes) but only when I am present. So if he gets hurt they can really bash me being a bad mom :) i think because you have littler kids I would be feeling the same way you do- most definitly not happening with out an adult present.

Kids definitely need to be supervised around fires, fireworks, etc. It is just too dangerous and accidents can happen easily. Stick to your views and protect those little ones!

It really just depends on age and maturity of the children. But you and your husband should be on the same page regarding things like this.

i think its fine for them to do thoose things as long as there is adult supervision, fire can get unpredictable but smoke bombs & sparklers are pretty much harmless

Ummm, no. You are NOT being overprotective. I feel that I'm pretty flexible and free with my kids and although your kids are old enough to "know better" they are also at that perfect age for experiementing with things like throwing fireworks into the fire, trying to jump over the fire, hurling little sister towards the fire...whatever. Anyway, I think you are right, they absolutely need to be supervised, especially with the fireworks!!!!

You're not being overprotective. My 19 year old nephew wasn't/isn't allowed to start fires in the fire pit without adult supervision from his father or one of my other brothers-in-law. None of the children his age or younger are EVER allowed alone around the fire pit. My nephew isn't even allowed to set off fireworks without supervision when my brothers-in-law have them.

With your childrens' ages? Oh hell no, Mr. Dad and Mr. Grandpa. Incredibly irresponsible. They're just asking for some serious, serious injury. Your fears are legitimate and what happened to you as a child happens all the time, and with much sadder and more serious consequences. Stand your ground.

Nag away on this one. If you have to, fall back on your town's laws and the legality of this kind of thing as well as statistics for injuries to kids AND injuries to adults.

Did you know that sparklers burn hot enough to melt glass?
Sparklers can reach temperatures greater than 1000°F.
Oh yeah - great things for the kids to play with! - NOT!
You are not nagging over every little thing.
Your husband is not being protective enough by a long shot.
Perhaps a visit to a fire station or a burn unit can help educate him with regard to being responsible about playing with fire.

You are NOT being overprotective!!

You are RIGHT!!

Do whatever you have to do to make sure that YOU are the parent who takes control and protects your children. This isn't your childhood fear talking to you - it's your mother's intuition and you are right on.

I would make it very, very, very clear to your husband that your children are NOT to be outside while the fire is going without an adult supervising. Tell him that you are more than willing to be that adult, but that he MUST tell you when he is coming inside. If he does, drop everything with a smile on your face and show him that you truly don't mind going out to "cover for him" while he steps inside for a few minutes. Don't snap at him, sigh, or say anything - just do your job as a parent and go watch your kids. That will encourage him to remember and let you know the next time.

I would also set an age level for the sparklers and fireworks and make it a rite of passage. When they're 7 years old they can hold a sparkler with an adult around and when they're 10 they can do the smaller fireworks with an adult helping them. At no time can they ever go near either of those items without one of you with them and the punishment for doing so needs to be something that they REALLY don't like and has to be enforced.

You can do this. You can take control of this situation and you need to before someone gets hurt. Anger and annoyance from them right now is MUCH easier to deal with than regret will be later if one of your precious little children gets burned.

Yes supervision needs to be there.

This past July 4th my brother (32) was lighting a sparkler for my neice and it blew up in his hand as he was getting ready to hand it to her. He had serious burns covering his hand and had to seek medical attention for it. So even "simple" fireworks can be dangerous. I personally finally let my oldest ( just turned 15) start to light them by himself.. sparkleers, snakes, smoke bombs... but an adult is always by him. There is no way I would let my other kids do it by themselves they are 11 & 12.

I don't think your being too over protective at all. Its for a good reason. Thankfully my hubby and I are on the same page.