Getting Out of the house----Scares Me!

Updated on July 10, 2011
M.M. asks from Tucson, AZ
38 answers

Now that i have 3 kids i dread going anywhere. I am so afraid of mostly my 2 yr old running off and me having to leave my baby and 7 yr old standing somewhere. Has happened all ready.
I need to go to the bank today and don't know how to do it.
I have a 7 yr old, 2 yr old, and 7 wk old.
I dont have a double stroller so i cant put them in one and i think it would be silly anyways to get out a stroller to go into the bank. I can have my 7 yr old hold my 2 yr olds hand, but eventually she will run!
I was thinking about getting a leash for her, but i so dont like the idea.
I wear my baby a lot, so i can hold my 2 yr olds hand till she tries to get away then im stuck with her screaming and pulling.
I need to get out of the house. I haven't left it in a week.

Does anyone else fear leaving the house and how do you manage with a 2 yr old that runs!?????/

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a buddy harness for my 4y and couldn't function without it.
http://www.target.com/s?keywords=buddy+harness&search...

As for going to the bank, can you use the drive-threw?

Edit:
Oh, and my 4y was ALWAYS in the stroller everywhere we went. Bank. Groceries. Mall. until she outgrew it. Now its her buddy harness.

3 moms found this helpful
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Y.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Bring the stroller to the bank, and strap her in. It's an extra step, and I agree it seems silly, but it's better than a leash, and you will have some peace of mind.

I've got a 2.5 year old and an 8 month old, so I can totally relate. There were a few months there when the l.o. was new that I avoided outings like the plague, but things are getting a little better now. I have the toddler sit in the large part of the shopping cart, and sit the little guy up in front with the belt. No long shopping trips, but dashing out to get a few items is now possible.

Best of luck.

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

I have 4 kids and my youngest learned early on how to unclasp the belt in the stroller. Once we were all shopping for clothes with the older 3 following nicely and youngest in the stroller with the sunshade on so I couldn't see inside when I was pushing. I noticed some out of control child running wild around the clothing racks and was glad that mine were with me and so well behaved. The only problem was that the wild child looked just like my youngest, so I did a quick check in the stroller and yup he was missing.

Don't depend on your 7 year old to hang on the your runner. Get a leash. Safety is important and so is your peace of mind.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Wear your baby.
Put the 2 year old in the stroller.
Your 7 year old is old enough to stay by you and be your extra eyes.
You explain, to your 7 year old.

I have an 8 year old and a very active 4 year old boy.
My 8 year old daughter, KNOWS, to also look out for her brother.
It is just in her nature, but I also speak to her about this.
Thus, she maturely, is an extra 'help' when out.

When my son was 2 years old, he was RUNNER. And very fast. Even too fast for me, and I am a fast runner.
I used a Monkey Harness on him. For that phase of his life, until he was more mature. My son had no problem with it.
It was for safety.
I got MANY compliments on it. One Grandpa told me "GOOD for you...." and told me about his Grandson that was a runner, and how his Grandson took off one day, right on their street, and a car hit him and he died.
MANY parents and Grandparents, told me it is GOOD, I was using the Harness, because, it is for safety. Not appearance. They knew that.
They had had those situations, too.

2 year olds, do not have fully developed Impulse-Control yet.

all the best,
Susan

5 moms found this helpful

K.J.

answers from Chicago on

We have a 4.5 yr old, 2 yr old and a 3 month old and I get out of the house as much as possible. If I don't get out at least once a day I feel like I am going to explode!

My 4.5 yr old was a MAJOR runner when he was younger, so when my 2nd child was born my mom (mother of 5) bought me a monkey backpack harness for him. I protested and thought about how my little brother was always on a wrist leash at the mall, and thought, "I'm never gonna use this thing!" Then one day at the park he took OFF while I was changing a poopy diaper, running up the hill, and ALMOST into the street. Thank God my neighbor was at the park with me and scooped him up before he stepped out. After that day I started putting the harness on him.

He eventually learned how to walk closely to me without holding my hand. I even got a "Mommy Clip" so that I could clip the handle of his harness to my shopping cart. Oh the looks I would get at Target :-) But it worked!

My 2 yr old has just recently been begging to walk everywhere, so even though I do have a double stroller, I now strap on the backpack and everyone is happy.

***Added-- There is a reason banks give out lollipops to kids--take advantage and distract your 2 yr old for a few min by keeping his hands and mouth occupied. Sometime you just gotta get grown-up things done.**

5 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

dont call it a leash if its distastefull - maybe restraint harness? you've got a runner and thier safety comes above all else. who cares if some pissy moms stare at you. you have to do what you have to do.

I would also put my 7 yr old in charge of the 2 yr old, under your supervision, of course.
and what about the drive through at the bank?

5 moms found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Bloomington on

I run a daycare with 3 small children. So yes, I have fears. Granted it's usually the zoo, not the bank with them.

I suggest using the drive thru at the bank. If you must go in, use the stroller. You can wear the baby and push the 2 yr old. Or even have your 7 yr old push your 2 yr old.

I would vote stroller, long before leash. With the leash you may still have to 'drag' the child. With the stroller, it's got wheels, there won't be any active lifting or 'fighting' to keep her under control.

3 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I think you need to bite the bullet & do the stroller or harness. They may not be ideal for you, but with 3 kids isn't it all about what helps make things go as easily & stress as possible? Isn't a little hassle to keep your kid contained better than a lost, hurt, abducted child?

3 moms found this helpful

C.F.

answers from Boston on

Our bank has a drive-through !!! I'm a Big fan of that since I've had a kid!! Cant imagine doing things w/ 3 of them :-) You Rock !

3 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Redding on

My son wasnt so much a "runner" as he was just a wanderer. Asking how to go to the bank reminded me of the time I took him to the bank, at 18 months old. I knew he was thinking about wandering away. In line he was tugging on my hand and twisting trying to get away. When I went up to the teller I sat him on the floor at my feet and put one foot on his pant leg to keep him there. He squirmed and wiggled, but I did my banking just fine. Just as I was finishing what I needed to do the snickers from the line behind me burst into laughter. I felt a small body brush my legs and turned in time to see him run off, stripped down to his diaper and shirt! He had slithered out of the pants without me really knowing!
I vote for a small, easy to fold and store, umbrella stroller for the oldest to push with the 2 yr old BUCKLED in it, and you carry, or wear the baby. I know those car seats that come apart from the base are nice cause you dont have to unbuckle the baby and it gives you a way to set them down too. So Baby in the car seat, toddler in stroller, oldest daughter being your best helper. Reward he when done!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have an almost 2 1/2 year old and a 14 month old. When he was a newborn, I wore him and put her in a stroller. I still put her in a stroller a lot of the time bc she is a runner. If you can't go through the drive through I would recommend a stroller. Even if its only to run in, its better than your child getting away from you or throwing a fit the whole time. :) I would seriously recommend a double stroller. Its been a lifesaver for me!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.A.

answers from Little Rock on

Wear the baby, put the 2 year old in a stroller. I used to get the stroller out for quick runs. No one is going to think your silly for doing so. Most women know how difficult it is to go places with young children. Besides if getting the stroller out for quick runs helps you keep your sanity, who cares what others think.

I know how you feel. My two youngest were 22 months apart. Going any place was a major undertaking, but we made it through. I am still dealing with run away children, but now it is my 5 year old that is running off at the blink of an eye. He is very impulsive. I wish I could still put him in the cart, but that is not an option at all since he is as big as an 8 year old. I can trust my 10 year old and my 3 year old to stay with me and behave for the most part where ever we may go, but my 5 year old can be a major trial and keeps me pulling my hair out trying to control him and keep up with him in town.

2 moms found this helpful

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

I just dont do anything with all of mine. Unless I can not find some way around it.

It took me almost six years to finally get this....I would drag them everywhere..constantly. Then wonder why they never wanted to listen to me, or do what I ask them to do. now we only go some place fun if I have had children that listen.

If things feel crazy with all three dont do it. Chances are you will end up frazzled and stressed out. Take maybe the older two. or the older and baby.

If anything else..know most people understand the chaos three kids can bring. most people will totally understand you loosing your mind at some point along the way.

Everyone knows us at the places we shop the most.....Three boys less then two years apart between them....will sometimes draw some eyes:)

LEASHES ARE AMAZING!!!! Dont let anyone make you feel they are mean. They keep your children with you.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.R.

answers from Tucson on

I definitely can relate. My son used to run any opportunity he could get. Take an umbrella stroller to sit and strap in your two year-old. Have your seven year-old push the stroller. This will free your hands.

My kids did not like be locked into the stroller but, 'if you run away' I said, then 'you lose your privilege to walk.'

What you feel about their safety is real and it's best to be safe than sorry. It takes only a few seconds for a stranger to abduct your kid. So invest in an light-weight umbrella stroller.

2 moms found this helpful

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

DEFINITELY put the 2 year old in the stroller. Or use a leash. I know not everyone is in favor of them, but if you have your hands full, and she's a runner, a leash is better than her darting off.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

get a double stroller. I had 2 kids 18 months apart and I could nto have left the house without the double stroller. And soon that newbaby will be too big to wear. so you will need to put both kids in the double stroller.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Tucson on

I had a cute little doggie backpack that had a long tail as the leash. My son loved it, he got to pick it out. Take them all to target, wear baby put her in the cart. Go to the baby section and there are 3 different designs. Let her pick out the one she likes. Help her come up with a name for it. When it is time to go say get your (my sons was Woo woo). He had a couple special small toys to play with in the zipper part. He held on to it like a doll, played with his toys in the car. When he got out I said time to put woo woo on. He is 7 now and saw it the other day and said why dont I wear that anymore. Good luck you will find a way.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

You can think of a leash as a control device for a dog or other unpredictable pets, but you don't have to. It can also be a practical safety device for bolting toddlers.

Many kids go through a stage where they will try repeatedly to dash off, and if mom (or granny) has mobility problems or is loaded down with groceries/other children, a leash makes great sense. I would much rather get an evil glare from other 'adults with opinions' than risk harm to a child.

I used to tie a long scarf around my toddler grandson's chest when we went walking on his steep neighborhood streets. Between asthma and back pain, he could quickly get out of my reach, and didn't always respond to my demand that he stop when he was little and on a mission. Plus, I kept him from having a few nasty falls when he was just learning to walk with just a gentle lift. The scarf was only needed for a couple of months.

1 mom found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I think at this point, a leash is your only option. Or wear the baby and put the 2 year old in an umbrella stroller. I've done that with my 2 yr-old. He's a runner also and even though it's a pain to do it for a short errand, it's better than having to chase him while trying to wait in line. I always tell myself that before i know it, he'll be out of this phase just like the others...let's hope so anyway!

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Personally, I would use a leash.

Ignore the stares of those people who think you are wrong.... you are doing it for your child's safety!

Having them on a leash is MUCH better than visiting them in the hospital because they got hit by a car.

Wearing the baby is a good idea, then go ahead and put the 2 yr old in the stroller.... she isn't ready for the "freedom" of not being in the stroller.

Remind her that if she is good (sits quietly, doesn't scream, doesn't struggle) you will do something fun, like go to the park for 15 minutes. If she isn't good, remind her WHY you can't go to the park (she tried to get out of the stroller, she cried, she screamed, etc.).

It would be nice if the 7 yr old would be able to watch her, but I would hate for something to happen and then your older one would feel so responsible for not keeping her safe.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

I would go through the drive up if that's possible. Get a double stroller. It's garage sale. season so you could find one cheap or craigs list. I don't see the harm in a harness. I used one. I don't care what other people think about them, it's no a leash. You won't see me on the news with a lost kid because I was too afraid of what others thought of a harness.

1 mom found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Do you have something you can use to wear/hold the baby so that the toddler can be in the stroller?

1 mom found this helpful
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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I had twins and when I found out I had a bunch of feelings but I remember thinking how I was going to be able to do much of anything by myself. Then I also remember after they were born declaring my independence ;()) If that's what you want to call it I suppose.
I refused and I mean refused to not go somewhere because I felt like I was tied down by my children-unless they were sick of course. I found ways. When they were babies and I needed to go grocery shopping I couldn't fit two car seats into the top I basically had to use the entire cart which left about no room for me to put my groceries in the cart. Therefore I figured out I could leave one in her carseat and carry the other one in my baby carrier -they didn't have slings back then or if they did they weren't as popular as they were now. If one of them got fussy I would just exchange them out and that typically worked. My kids I have to say as babies were really good. When they got "mobile" is where the challenge set in ;()) and I will fully admit that there were times that I would put off going to until I knew I had someone to help me but for the most part I took my kids out as often as I could because it taught me that I could do it and it also taught my children how to behave. Consistency is the key and I cannot tell you how many times I had two toddlers pitching fits and what appeared to be me dragging them. Oh yeah I got stares from people but if a single one had said anything to me I would have handed them over in two seconds and told them if you think you can do a better job all by yourself by all means here you go. Most people laughed and would even say "I remember those days" I had ugly looks at a family restaurant once because my kids were being typical toddlers and the look on this lady's face was pure disgust and you could tell that my family was a cause of her unenjoyable time. I looked at her and plainly said I'm so sorry that we ruined your dinner ma'am but I guess that is what you get when you come to a "family restaurant". I was irritated by everything and probably should not have said so but I did anyways-lol! Don't worry this too shall pass momma-you will get through it!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

It's not silly to put a kid in a stroller just to go to the bank. I do it all the time with my now 18 mo old, 3 yr old and 6 yr old. Whatever it takes to keep everyone safe. I agree with others. Wear the baby, strap the toddler in until you can teach her to stay with you, and let your 7 yr old know expectations for behavior before each stop.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

A stroller for the 2 yr old and put the baby in a carrier/wrap. Or a double stroller. Or drive through at the bank. You gotta get used to this! It'll be fine! Go out and practice!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Find a bank with a drive up window.

I'd wear the baby and strap your 2 yr old in a stroller until she learns not to run. No 2 yr ok'd wants to be confined to a stroller. My rule would be if you try to let go of my hand even once you are in the stroller.

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

Wow! Lots of responses. I can't read them all and this might be a repeat. I've posted this same response before:

"I have three kids, the youngest born when the next one was almost 3.

A few tips:
1. choose your location well. A contained area is helpful at first.
2. often if the oldest follows instruction, the others will. Enlist his help. You know his personality, but you can either make it a secret game that you two play, offer incentives, give him pseudo-authority over the youngers.
3. Wear a sling! If your baby is in a sling, you can give chase if you need to! And you'll only need to keep track of the location of 2, not 3, people.
4. Make sure your first attempts are free events or outings. Talk to your kids about expected behavior and tell them you'll leave the first time ______. Someone runs away from you? You need to yell to get their attention? Whatever your biggest concern is. Tell them you know it's unfair to the others if you have to leave due to one's behavior, but that you are a family and have to work together and will need to leave if you ALL don't. And then do it. Leave. Deal with the screams and cries and pleas and promises for better behavior. Don't get angry. Don't yell at them. Just quietly leave and go home and tell them we'll try again later. After once or twice, they'll know you're serious and you will be able to have less stress on future outings.
5. Practice. Do a "drill" of whatever you predict to be a difficult aspect of a trip. Getting into the car? Waiting while you get the baby out? For us, we practiced "making a train." Making a train is joining hands so we can cross streets, get through crowds, just get everyone accounted for and prepared for what's next.

Hope that helps some!"

1 mom found this helpful
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K.R.

answers from Fort Collins on

I have an almost 4 yr old, 2 yr old, and 4 month old. It's HARD to leave the house w/o help. For me it's also my 2 yr old. Can you wear your baby, put your 2 yr old in a stroller with a good snack, and then obviously your 7 yr old is ok right? This is an ongoing challenge for me too, but luckily my mom lives close and likes to tag along, even on errands, so I get it done. But it's super hard. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Get a harness. You don't like it, but it sure will make your life a whole lot easier. I had one for both of my children. People thought I was terrible, but it kept them close - yet free and safe.
Get a double stroller, too.
You'll be very glad you did.
LBC

1 mom found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

It's a pain and not the time for being a light-weight in the discipline department. Don't worry about screaming and pulling. Also, your 7 year old needs to have one hand while you have the other. We always form a human chain and keep hands. My kids are so used to going places with me that we can stand in line without anyone running off. But I'm also fortunate enough to be able to keep a 2 year old home with grandma if they ran off the last time or that morning. We just don't put up with even a hint of disobedience before we do something to drive the point home.

I'm also a fan of drive thru banking! :) If you have a stroller for one I would make the 2 year old hold the stroller on one side and your 7 year olds hand on the other.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would wear the baby and put the 2 yr old in a stroller or get a leash because if she's a runner, she needs to be contained. Then have the 7 yr old hold the stroller when you cross the street. I also have my (almost 3) yr old take one toy and she can play with that one toy in the bank while we wait, or whatever. Our bank is near a park, so if she listens well, we can go to the park, too. If she does not listen, we go home.

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J.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Haven't read any of the other answers. But my response is GET THE LEASH! It will save your sanity and help keep your child safe. Don't worry what others think. It's $10 (or less) - well worth the money.

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

I don't have a leash, but I've definitely thought about it! I do have a double stroller, and there have been many times I've put my 2 year old and my almost 5 year old in the stroller to run and errand. Yes, it's a bit inconvenient to get it out of the car, but it makes the trip sooooo much easier. My 2 year old likes to run, and my almost 5 year old likes to take his time! In the stroller, they go at my speed.

I would consider looking for a double stroller. Try craigslist?

A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I see you have a lot of answers already, but one more is only going to probably confirm what everyone else has said (I have not read the responses). I have 4 boys ages 12, 11, 7 and 2. My two year old is by far the hardest of all my boys. He does things that none of my other boys ever did...including run. I call him my "toddler tornado", and when I say that he runs I mean RUNS as in bolts out of the house, out of the car, away from me at the store, in parking lots (etc) if given the opportunity! It is terrifying and exhausting!! I have learned never to put him down when getting him out of the car. I either carry him or put him straight into the stroller or shopping cart. I hide the house keys from him so that he cannot use them to unlock the door and run down the road. I have not yet done it, but after our 3 day trip to Disneyland when I spent all three days chasing him down, or his brothers and dad chasing him down, I determined I needed to bite the bullet and get one of those kiddy leashes. I used to think people were crazy who used them, but I'm telling you - until you have a kid that bolts like lightening, I have a whole new respect for those parents - and the genuises who invented the things!! I am totally getting one! Better to be safe than sorry, right? And if I were you, I would also invest in a double stroller, or at least one that your 7 year old can help push that the 2 year old can be strapped in. But a double stroller will come in very handy when that baby gets older and is too heavy to lug around in a sling. And please...my best advice that I can offer that I hope you will consider...don't worry what anyone thinks!! Seriously...letting others determine how you feel or parent your kids is not fair to you or your kids. If you are worried about what someone thinks about you using a harness, you are worried about the wrong thing. Your kids' safety should be your #1 concern. Hang in there with your little ones!! It may not feel like it now, but you will get it figured out. :-) Best of luck to you!!

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

My child harness and my ergo stay in the car. I don't even bring the double stroller. Both my kids are under 2 years old.

Ha! One time, my husband had a doctor's appointment and we needed to be in there with him so, (seriously, oh my gosh) I put the big kid in the Ergo on my back and the baby in the Bjorn on the front. It was crazy, but it actually worked like a charm and no babies were injured by grabbed medical instruments!

I didn't go out with the kids when the baby was very young, but mostly because I'd had a c-section was just wasn't sure I was up to baby-wearing or baby-chasing that early. But since about 2 months old, we go out at least once, usually 2 or 3 times a week grocery shopping, or playgroups, or (my new favorite place) the library.

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

baby in a front pouch, toddler in a stroller strapped and your 7 year old to be a HUGE helping of hands and entertainment.

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C.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

I always took a bag with things to entertain my toddlers while waiting somewhere. Something to color and crayons, a book, and a treat/snack. At least I could get a few minutes out of them with something like that.

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