Going Back to College - Tucson,AZ

I work as a Career Coach. There is one statement that you made, that if you haven't shared with your husband before, I strongly recommend that you do. It is "I have never wanted to be a nurse".

We are all capable of learning many skills and could all do several types of work successfully. The one thing that is required, however, to make a successful career out of some of those skills is personal interest. We have to WANT to do the job.

I am working and in graduate school. If I wasn't fascinated by the subject I'm studying, I don't know how I would lose sleep, give up family time, and do the amount of work I've been doing now for years to earn this degree. You have to want this. If you don't, then drop the classes now and get your money back!

If you don't want to be a nurse, then don't be a nurse. I think nursing is one of those occupations that you have to LOVE to be able to do and do well.

If you want to have a new career you're (probably) going to have to go back to school....the difference between going for something you WANT to learn vs something you're getting so stressed out about is that you'll feel like the extra time it's taking away from your family will be worth it.

I'm 30 and my youngest is 9 months. When she goes to school full time I'm going to go back to work.....doing what? I'm not sure yet. But I do know that I'm not going to waste time, money and energy going to school for something I have ZERO interest in.

Explain to your husband that being an RN isn't going to make you happy. Then start doing a little research into what you DO want to make a career out of. Look at your interests, your passions....what careers come to mind? Let him know that you also want better for YOU, but doing what he wants you to do isn't going to accomplish that. Reassure him that you DO want to pursue further educations (if you do), you just need a little time to figure it out.

If you make good money, have a good schedule, are happy where you are and don't want to go to school to be a nurse...DON'T! Tell him to get over it and your reasons for feeling the way you do. Nursing is a calling and it isn't for everyone. Can you imagine 12 hour days of a job you hate?

I remember my calculus class. After being out of high school for 22 years I had forgot simple things like multiplying fractions. Technically I shouldn't have been allowed in the class because I took college algebra 22 year earlier but alas the computers didn't pick it up and my professor didn't kick me out.

If I had given up just because I was out of my element, because it was more comfortable to stay in a meh job that isn't really going anywhere but is enough I wouldn't have made it either.

I missed my family for the four years. The only time we had together was doing homework together at the kitchen table.

I guess in the end if nursing isn't for you find something that is. It is just don't use life as an excuse to quit. The good news is your classes will work in just about any degree.

My first semester I took six classes, all different areas but all core requirements. At the end of the semester I looked at what really fit with me and picked accounting. Maybe try something like that. :)

I think you answered your own question and are maybe looking for some reassurance to validate your feelings. You stated very clearly that you do not want to be a nurse. Let me tell you, being a nurse is challenge on my best day. You have to give of yourself both physically and emotionally plus deal with the every day BS of maintaining a job. If you didn't want to be a nurse from the get go then you are setting yourself up for failure at the least or a lifetime (career wise) of unhappiness. If you are happy and feel fulfilled in the place that you work then why leave. I believe very strongly that no one is better than anyone else. Just because you work retail???? doesn't make you any less important than say a nurse or so on. You have to do what makes you happy and if going to school and becoming a nurse isn't it right now then it will only get worse. As for the husband part, I am sorry that this will cause problems between the two of you. Honestly, you should have probably spoken up a long time ago. You can't change that, but you need to speak up before you have more time and money invested and are more stressed and unhappy. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find the strength to speak up. You deserve to love what you do and to enjoy each day. Not to feel stressed and like you are missing out on things. Life is hard enough without adding undue stress and unhappiness on top of it. Again best of luck in whatever decision you make.

If you're working retail... how about med ADMIN if you want to switch over to healthcare to work in the same hospital/field?

Alternatively: Go to school for something you might actually want to do with your life?

Regardless, I would say not to do 2 classes per quarter to start. Sure, you can, but why not just 1? Ease into the schedule and work out how much time you need. Get into the groove of things, and then add classes (to 2 or 3) as you get your system worked out. You husband already had 4-5 years under his belt. Jumping in at 2-3 classes per quarter after years off is one of the most surefire ways I know to burn out and quit.

Same token; if you don't know what you'd like to "be" / your major... there are about 50 general ed credits you'll need to do. Keep up on your degree path by getting non-specific requirements taken care of while you think. That way you're still moving forward with 1 or 2 classes per quarter, but you're not locked into a degree as yet.

And YIKES! Woman! Bio and Chem the same quarter? I hope you realize most nursing and premed students STACK their hard sciences with easy classes, or pair a hard science with a soft science. Chem and Underwater Basket Weaving, Anatomy and Physiology and Sex & Sexuality, Microbiology and Psych. Hard science paired with and easy class. Sure, years 3 & 4 is all science, all the time... but you've already learned the language and have the basics down.

The hardest classes in science are the 100 level classes OR the first class in a series (like o-chem 260/261/262, 260 is the hardest). Why? Because you're learning a whole new language. Memorizing, memorizing, memorizing. It's enough to make one want to put their head through drywall, or pluck their eyeballs out with spoons.

DON"T be an RN if it is something you aren't very passionate about. It's demanding and has a HIGH burnout rate, so if it doesn't interest you now, then why go through the trouble? It sounds like you are doing this to make others happy, you chose this career because it seemed like a good idea and everyone else was doing it. If I were you, I would take a Meyers-Briggs test, get some career counseling from a school adviser to see what really interests you. Your husband is wonderful to want you to get a great education, to find something that works. But you and your husband do not have the same interests in this regard! Nursing, my dear, this isn't it. If it is because of money, you not making enough at your job, you can still go to school to advance your career, just make it something you enjoy. If you don't enjoy learning about it, you aren't going to enjoy the career!!!

You can see nurse stats, career-wise here as well as related jobs, and find lots of other great info on other careers. If you are health mind, maybe dental hygenist or something along those lines would interest you:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos083.htm

I recently asked a question here on what women got their degrees in and what fields they ended up in. Tons of very interesting answers. Maybe one will inspire you:
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/10100907023953690625

Seriously, tell your husband nursing is not for you, and change your degree plan. Drop your classes and get your money back, it's still early in the year. If he throws a fit, tell him so what! If I wanted you to be a banker, even though you hated it, would you give up what you do enjoy to be a banker?

I honestly think you should do what is right for YOU. Sit down and talk to your hubby and explain to him that your dreams are not the same as his. If you are struggling to make it through your first semester of school, it's just going to get worse and you will wind up throwing your money away. I'm sorry to be so blunt.

Going to school as an adult is TOUGH! I just finished three years of full time school at the age of 36. I have children, a husband, and helped my husband run his business. It is definitely a juggling act, and I wasn't working. My job was to finish school. There ARE ways to make it work, but you have to be truly dedicated to making the situation okay, in my opinion.

There were times I felt exactly the same way. I wasn't seeing enough of my family, I didn't have enough time for me, and friends were someone I USED to know. We had friends joke that I could come out to play once my homework was done, and while it was funny it also stung. I was following my passion, though, and I could lean on that when the frustration set in.

Only you can make this decision for yourself, but if it's not something you want don't force it. If you don't want to be a nurse, is there something else you do want to do? Maybe you can switch gears and find something you will be thrilled to do. I wish you luck in your choice and in your schooling!

You need to care less about what other people think and feel and more about what *you* think and feel.

I would stay with the retail job, and enjoy my family.

After all, we work to enjoy our lives. Most of us don't live to work (hopefully).

I say this as a highly educated person - bachelor's and graduate degree.

IMHO there's this weird cult phenomenon in our country where the vast majority of people think less of themselves if they're not pursuing some form of higher education. Well, who should work in retail stores? Starbucks? Walgreens? A restaurant? That's mostly what this country consists of anymore!

JMO - enjoy your family while your kids are young, ESPECIALLY if that's what your heart is calling you to do!

Maybe you are so stressed b/c you know deep down it isn't for you. Maybe go back to school later when your kids are a little older. Esp if you were making decent money before.

I can honestly tell you that if you don't have an exceeding great desire to be a nurse you should change to a different major. These classes only get harder. I was a nanny for a MRN who taught on the college level. All of her children became nurses and one of them absolutely hated it, every day she wished she didn't have to go to school. She was programmed to become a nurse so she could always have a degree where she could get a job.

She is not working, she finished her degree, she wishes she had some training to do something so she could support her 2 young children.

She is just one story of someone who hated nursing and stuck it out. Please think about it. There are hundreds of majors to choose from and one or more of those will be much more to your liking. If you liked you job in retail then check out the College of Business, or the College of Home Ec and Family, there is always the College of Education too. There are so many different places you can end up.

Make a bunch of lists. What kind of people do you want to work with? How many hours a week do you want to commit to working? How much paperwork do you plan on liking? I ask that because I love paperwork, it's the same every month, I can sit down and do it quickly because mine is always in order...I really like the paperwork part of a job. Are you exceptionally good in Math or Science? How do you like dealing with people on a daily basis?

These types of questions will help you to decide what way to go. Take general ed classes for the next year with minimal core classes, that way you can build your confidence and still make decent grades. If you take your core classes and find that you really don't want to be a student you might like to go to a different type of school, maybe you could cut hair. That pays very well once you build up your clientele.

My point is that you have the world of education there, waiting for you to decide what you want from it. Take your time and take classes that will fill the requirements for just about every major. Then sit down with hubby and talk. Stand up for yourself

Good luck in school.

Okay, it sounds like you made a pact to go back to school once hubby finished his tour. Now that it is your turn you are taking classes that are hard and have had no refreshers for math.

You need to get a plan and put it into place meaning: family, job, school, friends. Besides know that you are not going to do this in 4 years it might take 6 or 8 to complete. As another poster said take the basics and get them out the way and in doing so you will find out what you really want to do. Start small and work bigger meaning one class and then two and so on until you can handle a full load maybe.

I am still taking classes kind of skipped this semester by accident but I have to study to get may Amatuer Operator's License (Ham) to take part in more things in the club. The language for that is a whole lot different than the Algebra classes were the last few years.

Good luck to you. Take is slow and easy and find yourself.

From one study buddy to another.

The other S.

PS Are you taking classes at Pima County or U of A?

Do NOT get a degree in something you think you won't like, or aren't sure you'll like. Your husband may love nursing; you may go through it all and discover that you despise it. But then you'll feel stuck because you spent all that time and money to get the degree so you "should" use it. Take a step back and have an honest heart-to-heart talk with your husband, and tell him that you don't think nursing is for you, and also that you miss your family, so while you understand that he wants what is best for you and you appreciate that he has encouraged you in this and most of all is supportive of your efforts, that at this time you think it will be better to stop school and take some time to really think about what you want to do, and once you figure that out, then you will go full speed ahead... but right now, you don't think the future benefit (spending years getting a degree for a job you're afraid you'll hate and think you won't like, even if it pays well) is worth the current cost -- the stress and the time it's costing you away from your family. If you can also throw in a few phrases about how you think he will be short-changed by it as well (you're so stressed that you aren't being as good of a wife as you think he deserves), it will likely help.

I didn't have a chance to read through the other answers, so I apologize if this is repetitive at all. In my opinion, don't put yourself through school for something you are not sure you even want to do. It is not worth it! The time, effort, etc. You won't be happy in the end and it'll be hard to motivate yourself through the classes. Like your husband, I am also an RN. The schooling is so life consuming and frustrating at times that if I really didn't want to be an RN, I never would have finished. Heck, there were even a few times I thought about quitting because I was just so DONE with being so stressed out all the time. Now that I'm done, I'm glad I stayed and became an RN. But, I know I never would have made it and I would be full of regret right now if it were not something I truly wanted.

Decide on what you have a passion for and could really see yourself doing for nearly the rest of your life, and go from there. Good luck to you!

It doesn't sound like you want to be a nurse, and I don't think that you should pursue something you don't want to just for the money. Nursing is hard enough when you love doing it; if you hate it, you will burn out very quickly. Try to find something that you really want to do and would be passionate about. I am planning to go back to school for nursing, and when I went back to take my pre-nursing classes, I LOVED it. It was hard, because I was working full-time while taking one class at a time, but I still loved what I was learning. The more I research the nursing field and possible fields I can work (pediatrics, oncology, labor and delivery, etc.), the more excited I became. So I think nursing is the right decision for me. If you are not going through the same experience, then stop pursuing nursing and try to find something you will love doing. It sounds like you both have decent jobs and your husband already has an RN degree, so you have time to try and figure something else out. Good luck!

I would agree with the other posters, it sounds like you don't want to be an RN. If you truly don't want to do that for your career, you still have time to change. Your school should have carreer counselors you can talk to about different majors and can help fit you with a career you actually are interested in. Go talk to them. With all degrees you are required to take basic general ed classes. Get those ones out of the way first, then you can focus on your major. That will give you some time to figure out what it is that you want to get your degree in. You will feel so good just after passing those first few classes. And the degree will not only give you a new career, but will show your children that school is important and they can do it too. You will be proud of yourself, and your family will be proud of you too. If you still want to keep your job while you are in school, maybe it is possible for you to reduce the hours you work so you can still have time to study as well as spend time with your family.

I started school last summer after graduating high school in 1995 and not being involved in any schooling since then. I was really nervous at first, not knowing what to expect. I first started with the lowest math class that I needed to take to get back up to speed. I only took 1 class to get back into the swing of school. Each semester since then I have only taken 2 classes, which is half time because full time is 4 classes. I started with the entry level math classes and English classes to help me remember how to write papers and write appropriately. I am so happy I did that because I realized I didn't remember much from high school 15 years ago. I was always a good student throughout elementary, middle and high school, but I wasn't sure I would do as well after being out of school for so long. To my surprise, I received the highest grade of the class in my first math class and have only gotten 1 B in the classes since. I have been very successful so far in the classes I have taken, which helps me want to continue on this long road to a Psychology degree. I do work full time and have a 9 year old daughter. Yes, it is hard to spend so much time studying and not with my family. But in the end, it will all be worth it.

If your hearts not in it, I think it's best to rethink the whole idea. Nursing school is extremely demanding as I'm sure you know. Why not find something else that you truly enjoy. Or take classes that would enable you to advance in your current industry.