Help! 22 Month Girl Not Wanting to Eat Main Meals.

Updated on April 21, 2009
A.P. asks from Delaware, OH
16 answers

Hello Mom's. I need help, my daughter will not eat anything but snack foods. She loves all the snack foods, Dora yogurt, String Cheese, all fruits, etc. She will not eat the main meals. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. She used to eat it before, but in the last 3 weeks, we can not get her to eat at all. Anyone have any ideas, where I can make eating fun and exciting again where she will eat again. Any ideas will be helpful. I appreciate your advice.

Thanks

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Offer her the snack foods with the regular meals but tell her in order to get them she must aat least eat one or two bites. If she is willing to do that after a few weeks then ask her to eat more. And no snack meals in between. Be firm. This is a small thing but as she gets older she will pull other stuff on you. Justr beware.

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J.D.

answers from Columbus on

I had this same problem with my oldest son. What I finaly had to do was get rid of the snack foods altogether for a while. My husband was in nursing school at the time and had just learned that toddlers WILL NOT starve themselves, so If my son didn't eat his breakfast, he got nothing until lunch, no lunch? no snacks until dinner, etc... He didn't eat for almost two days, but since then he has been one of the best (child) eaters I know, we are always getting compliments on what a good eater he is! Now we have the rule with all of the kids that if you don't eat a meal, you don't get ANY kind of snack-a snack is a priviledge, not a right.
Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would be WAY more concerned about WHAT she eats than when and whether it's breakfast, lunch & dinner. We would ALL be better off it we ate like kids (grazers) instead of thinking we had to eat "full meals" three times a day.

As LONG as you are giving her protein (string cheese, boiled eggs) and fruits and vegetables for her "snacks", then leave it at that. Call them snacks if you have to. Just say, you don't have to eat lunch, but at least have a snack and give her yogurt, apple, etc.

Stay AWAY from junk. It's okay for kids to have some sweets, etc once in a while, but my rules are, NONE until you eat........ Even when I taught pre-school and we did meal planning at FOUR, yes, I said FOUR, they KNEW that the sweets, ONLY were allowed AFTER they had everything else their body needed.

If you make a battle of it, it will only get worse. FOCUS ON WHAT SHE'S EATING. We'd ALL be better off eating 5-7 times a day and eating smaller or "mini meals". There would probably be WAY less obesity if that were the case, too.

It's not uncommon for me to have some cottage cheese and blueberries for dinner, string cheese and baby carrots and or cauliflower for "lunch", etc. Even if you ate 200 calories six times a day that's ONLY 1200 calories, the MINIMUM your body requires. People need to realize it's NOT about spending 40 mintues to an hour preparing something. You can eat just as well, and many times BETTER if you just put a little thought and preparation into it. (Like boiling eggs once or twice a week).

I think you're being overly concerned about her not eating "meals".

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

A child will not starve herself. She also can not eat what is not in the house. Simply serve her meals and not comment on it. When meal time is over, take her plate away. Do not offer any food until the next scheduled snack or meal time. At snack time, you don't have to serve "snacks"... make snack time a mini-meal. Use small portions of the leftover lunch or dinner that she didn't eat. After a day or two she'll learn that needs to eat at mealtime or she'll be hungry. If she's filling up on snacks then she won't be hungry enough to eat at mealtime. You don't want to cut out snacks altogether, though, because a toddler's tummy is small and they need to eat 5-6 times throughout the day to get the calories and nutrition they need. Just make the snacks really small, stick to a regular schedule and don't let her 'graze' all afternoon.

Remember the division of responsibility... it's the parent's job to plan meals, shop for food, prepare food and present it to the child. It's the child's job to actually pick it up, put it into their mouth and eat it. As long as you offer a wide variety of healthy foods you're child will not starve.

Also keep in mind portion size. A tablespoon is a serving size for a toddler. One string cheese is like 2-3 servings of dairy/cheese for a 1 year old. Their tummies are small and they don't require many calories. Sometime around 18-24 months their appetites plummet since they aren't growing as fast as they used to. It's not uncommon for a 1 year old to eat nothing but 2 grapes one day, a couple crackers the next day and then eat alot the 3rd day. It's also pretty common to have 1 'good' meal a day and then graze the rest of the day. My son would eat a good breakfast but hardly 2-3 bites the rest of the day, my daughters are the same way.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Wow, A.! GOOD for you and Asita!! You have already established healthy eating habits! Grazing on the snacks you mentioned is the best (healthiest) way to eat. Three squares a day is the reason we are the fattest country in the world. If we all just ate a healthy snack only when we got hungry, like Asita, we wouldn't have to worry about our weight! :)

Don't ban the snacks from her - she's fine. Let her eat when she's hungry, and only give her the good stuff. When she's ready to join you (eating) for meals, she will. In the meantime, even if she's not eating, set her a place at the table and have her sit with you for 10 minutes so that you are still establishing that family time, and she can observe good table manners and join in the conversation. When the 10 minutes are up, tell her she needs to ask to be excused, then let her go.

Blessings, J.

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

My mother always said, "they'll eat if they're hungry enough" and was willing to endure the fussing.

With both our daughters, they went through phases like that. To tell the truth, with both, it was just that. A phase.

The decision you have to make is, "is it worth the battle?" With us, it wasn't worth the battle. It wasn't like the foods they wanted were really that bad for them (dora yogurt, fruit, string cheese, etc.)

Now once our 5 year old got a little older, she'd want that stuff for dinner, and we'd tell her, "You can have that, but you need to have something else first, like a PB & J or oatmeal, or spaghetti or chicken nuggets...."

With my mom's philosophy, she would tell us, "it's this or nothing" so I'd try to sneak food later on and ended up becoming a "food addict". I realize that's not going to be the case with everybody, but pick your battles.

Good luck!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Kids her age go through ups and downs and one day will eat carbs, the next protein.

Just keep nutritious foods around for her.

Stop giving her sugared yogurt and get a tub of plain whole-milk yogurt and just add vanilla and a bag of frozen berries (thawed). It will be much better for her.

Offer things she might not have tried. My son LOVES beans, strait from the can (rinsed)! Blac beans, red beans, white beans. Any bean soup. They are full of fiber and protein so they are a double bonus!

Try steaming vegies so they are softer. Both my kids eat more carrots when they have been steamed and then cooled off.

Good Luck:)

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P.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

Fortunatley I have the flexibility to deal with how my son wants to eat. I am more concerned with what he eats and that he eats than the when. Sometimes he will sit down and have a nice dinner with us, but with our schedule that doesn't happen often for any of us anyway. He eats very well in the car. We usually have his little lunch box filled with good snacks. If I am concerned that he did not enough sound food for the day and I can't get him to sit still to eat a meal, I will even take him for a drive, tied into his carseat where I know he will eat.

I think it's like what was said before, you have to pick your battles, and set your priorities. He doesn't always sit at the table with us, and actually I don't mind having a few minutes alone with my husband at the dinner table in the evening. It may be the only alone time we get on a given day. Like I said, I am more concerned about him eating than where. He's growing and I think it is fine that he grazes. It's also healthier to eat a lot of small amounts over time than a lot at once. I wish I had learned that at an early age.

Good luck with whatever you decide will be best for you and your family.

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B.S.

answers from Toledo on

You could try incorporating some of her snack foods into her meals. for example have the cheese as a side dish. Or, limit the number and timing of snacks so she is more hungry at meal times.

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J.R.

answers from Toledo on

I haven't read the responses, so sorry if I repeat. Give her the meals anyway, and usual snacks at usual times. Do not add snacks to replace meals or she'll eat all day; she won't learn the mealtime pattern. It won't hurt her; she'll come around sometime before she starves! Don't give her snack foods at meals (don't give her separate stuff from what you're eating). Good luck. Everyone goes through mealtime issues.
Also, consider asking her help or opinion, or give her a choice while shopping or preparing food, in case this is a control thing rather than a food preference thing.

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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Totally normal at this age!!!!!! It's not unusual for the to "graze" all day and not eat a true meal. Try to sneak in the regular foods for the snack time, don't make meal time a fight because if you do, it'll only get worse. So, whenever she's having a "snack" try to get the other stuff in her. Otherwise don't worry, all docs say as long as she is healthy and growing they are fine.....

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T.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi A., I'm T.. My daughter is the same age & started this. My son did it too. Although she won't eat all that much, I'd found placing one of her two fab sauces (ketchup or blue cheese dressing) on her plate....she eats more. She thinks it fun to dip whatever from chix to green beans. Just know that this is their "being independent" stage & they will eat when they are hungry....even if it seems like they are going to starve. :)~~

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N.S.

answers from Columbus on

I wouldn't worry about it too much. My daughter is four, and has gone through these phases many times. In my opinion, as long as she's eating fruit, yogurt, and other healthy things, she's not doing any harm to herself. If she refuses to eat anything but potato chips, twinkies, and stuff like that, then I'd say you have a problem. My daughter LOVES fruit. She would eat strawberries for every meal, every day, and love it. Many times she's gone through phases where she doesn't want the meal that I've prepared, she just wants fruit, or yogurt, or cheese. She tends to snack throughout the day, instead of eating big meals. In the end, they say its actually healthier to eat several small meals throughout the day as opposed to one or two big meals, so again, I never worry much about her dietary habits, as long as what she's eating is healthy, and her belly is full. Children also go through growing phases where they seem to eat anything that isn't nailed to the floor, and then other times they eat like a bird, pecking here and there at various things, but never really eating a full meal. Even though I know its frustrating, even at this age, your child knows when she's hungry and when she's not. She may just be going through one of those post-growing phases where she's simply not that hungry. Also, it is said that when you crave a certain food, its because your body lacks and needs a certain nutrient in that food. So this may be the case, also. Her body may need more of the stuff thats in yogurt, cheese, and fruit, and less of the stuff thats in mashed potatoes, chicken and rice, if you catch my drift. With my daughter I make "deals"...such as....if you eat five bites of chicken, I'll give you strawberries for dessert. Or if you eat three bites of each item on your plate, you can have some yogurt.

Also, if you're really adament that you want her to eat her meals, instead of just snacks, stop giving her snacks between meals. Or stop giving her snacks altogether, so that she's hungry at meal time, and therefore will eat.

What you choose to do and how you handle it is up to you. The bottom line is this: Eating fruits, yogurt and cheese isn't going to hurt her.

Good luck!! :)

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G.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

Had the exact same problem with my daughter at that age. Her Pediatricians were no at all surprised or concerned, even though she was quite small for her age group (5th percentile). They said that it is typical behavior for a busy toddler. They have a short attention span and would rather be up running around and playing than sitting and eating.

They said as long as what she's eating averages out over the course of 2-3 days nutritionally, no harm is done and she'll get the nutrients she needs. He did suggest giving her 1/2 of a child's multi-vitamin, and we also give her a cup of V-8 Fusion fruit juice a day which has a serving of fruits and veggies in each cup. (Obviously not the ideal way to get vitamins, but better than nothing.)

Our daughter is almost 3 now and there are days she'll eat really well and days she picks, but she still sits at the table at the appropriate times and we haven't had to stand on our heads or do tricks to get her to eat. We've also gradually and only slightly reduced the amount of each snack and drinks so as to encourage her lunch/dinner-time appetite, and she's doing much better.

Also, if you are concerned about her getting enough of the right veggies, there is a FABULOUS cookbook by Lisa Seinfeld called "Deceptively Delicious" that shows you how to incorporate pureed veggies into surprising foods and it's not even detectable!

Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Bloomington on

don't feed her junk. if she doesn't eat meals, don't give her yogurt and snacks. she'll get hungry... and eat.

by the way, dora yogurt has LOTS of sugar and food dyes, neither of which are good or healthy for a developing child. red food dye in particular is linked with hyperactivity and is actually banned in europe. yo baby or other organic brands have much less sugar, are made with healthier hormone-free milk, and are filled with great digestive-system-helping live probiotics. if you are going to feed her yogurt as her main food, get her eating a healthier brand!!!

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J.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Your question gave me reason to recall the same eating issue with my oldest son, and I had to chuckle at the memory. Our family doctor told me my son was fine, he just wasn't as hungry all the time as I thought he should be. He told me to "stop chasing him with a spoon" (begging him to eat), and he also said that so long as my son was healthy otherwise, which he was....he could survive on half a peanut butter sandwich and an apple a day, that he would eat when he was hungry. Kids go through eating phases, and seem to need more food during growing spurts, I think.

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