This may sound silly, but I don't know what to do with my daughters hair! She is half black and half polish, so she has very interesting hair. The top is really oily and straight. It needs to be washed every other day at the least or it gets all stuck together and gross. The back in very dry and fragile. It could go a week or maybe two without being washed.
I am African-American and I have not really had experience with the kind of hair she has on the top, and my DH is not much help. Does anyone have suggestions on keeping her hair from getting too oily without drying out the back?
Does anyone else have bi-racial children? I want to make sure she has friends who are bi-racial as well (not necessarily black and white) in order for her to have someone to identify with. I have heard from friends of mine that being bi-racial is especially tough and I want to expose her to other biracial kids so that she knows that she's not alone.
Thank you all!
Thank you all for your advice! I tried the conditioner on her hair when I wash it and that worked well. I also started putting "hair grease" on her hair after baths and that has also helped. I also bought some spray to protect her hair when swimming. She is getting curls in the back inmstead of matts! Thank you thank you! I also found a new product to try called Mixed Chicks! I have heard good things seen good results!
I am not bi-racial, but I do have very fine, dry hair that gets oily very quickly near my roots. I have to wash it daily. To help protect the bottom of my hair (I have long hair) I put conditioner on it to protect it from the drying effects of the shampoo, then shampoo ONLY the scalp, rinse and then repeat condition. Seems to work well for me...I read it in a magazine at some point.
We have two bi-/multi-racial kids. DS is Black/Hispanic and DD is Black/Hispanic/(and White?). We haven't had to use anything special other than Mustela's cradle cap treatment for either kid thus far. We primarily use shampoos from Mustela, California Baby or J&J Soothing Natural. On occasion we'll use a little bit of my hair conditioner--Africa's Best carrot or olive oil--in DS' hair.
If you haven't seen it already, I recommend the Treasured Locks website
http://www.treasuredlocks.com/blhacafa.html#child
Tons of good info for hair care. I haven't bought anything from them as I'd just rather get my stuff while shopping. But if there was a product I needed, I'd use these folks.
There's even a FAQ on biracial kids' hair :)
http://www.treasuredlocksfaqs.com/activekb/questions/168/...
Another site is
http://www.ourhair.net
To get to the forums with interesting content, you'll have to sign up for an account (free).
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So far it hasn't been that tough for DS being biracial other than the occasional twit who asks "What is he?" (yeah, I *know* what they mean but they're still a twit if they can't phrase it better) so our response is usually "He's a toddler" or "He's an American" LOL It's funny, my own parents--who never even celebrated Kwanza--suddenly have this burning urge to know what we're going to "raise them as" because it's important for them to know "what box to check",,,,,uhhhh how about we raise them as Americans? Besides, they should check more than one box, no? LOL
Hello Manige,
Our children are bi-racial. I did not initially have a problem with the hair until we began swimming regularly. Then I talked with my hair dresser who recommended we use Matrix in the green bottle. Then we switched over to Cloud 9 Shampoo and Conditioner which worked really well on our twins hair. I also recommend using a leave in conditioner which I noticed has worked wonders with our daughters hair and dryness from the chlorine. Also has reduced the tangles.
As for our children having bi-racial friends, if it happens we are okay with it. We have taught them everyone is the same and treat everyone the way you want to be treated. Trust me your daughter will know she is not alone, she will see more biracial children as she gets older. Very common.
I don't have any advice on the hair, but thought I would throw in my two cents worth on the bi-racial aspect. I am bi-racial (Japanese/European), and I would say the community where we lived made the most difference. My dad was in the Air Force, and we moved around a lot. The Southern states were terrible. Military communities and California were very good. I haven't had any problems in Colorado Springs. I liked Alesa's comments. In addition, if you feel comfortable and accepted interacting with her friend's Caucasian parents, and your husband feels the same way with her African-American friend's parent's, then that is a good sign that the kids are being raised in a hate-free environment. I will say that there was a point in late grade school (poor community in the Florida panhandle) and Junior High School where the kids teased me a lot and I cried a lot. I actually sobbed to my mom that "it was all her fault, and that I wanted to look like all the other kids." Thankfully, we moved to a more accepting community, and now I am proud of my heritage. But there does seem to be an age where kids want to be the same as all the other kids, and at the same time other kids can be very cruel to those who don't look or behave like everybody else. I don't think you can keep it from ever happening, the best you can do is to raise her to have a healthy self-esteem so that the comments don't wound as much.
Very Best Wishes,
A.
My daughter (who by the way we also nicknamed Boo) is bi-racial and when she was that young we just used a gentle baby shampoo every other day and then a tiny bit of (her dad called it hair grease) but I can't remember the actual name, on the dry parts. As she grew older her hair finally "stabilized" into one type of hair. I would reccomend not pulling her hair up to tightly with any thing other than barettes, my daughters hair was pretty fragile for the first few years and it broke and split easily. When she got older we found someone here that was experienced in that type of hair and have been going to her for about 8 years.
No matter how hard you try to protect her against bigoted people she will still at some point be subjected to their prejudice. I'm talking from 24 years of experience. I teach my children to not judge people by the color of their skin or their religous preference but by how they treat others. My daughter is lucky enough to have friends who stick up for her when they hear someones racial comment. (none of her friends are bi-racial) I can honestly say that because of the increase in mixed-marriages and bi-racial children, I have seen a significant change in the attitudes of people in my community in the last 10 years, for the better. Although we have a long way to go to say we are suceeding in the fight to abolish racism. I'll get off my soapbox now!
you can wash her hair daily if need be and put conditioner on the back where it dries out. This would solve both problems. As far as bi-racial...I would teach her that all people are differnt in many ways but realisticly we are all the same deep down. We all have the same wants and needs and should be treated with respect.
Have you tried leave in shampoo for the top. I've read about it in magazines but never tried it. You put it in your hair on days you can't or don't want to wash. I would think that you could pick where you put it more easily so it doesn't dry out all her hair. I'ts supposed to be quite effective. For dry hair, I love Redken All Soft. I'ts the only shampoo that keeps my hair healthy when it's long. The best part is it leaves the hair smelling absolutely yummy!
My sister swears by rubbing in a little baby powder - I think cornstarch works too - in her hair( at the roots) on the days she can't wash her hair. I was nervous to use it on dark hair, but when I tried it (my hair is very dark brown) it worked great! Good luck!
I'm a professional cosmetologist as well as a SAHM and I can tell you that mixed hair like that can be very frustrating to deal with, I would go to a salon that caters specifically to black and mixed race hair and ask their advice, when it has such different textures it can take some trail and error but with a little guidance there should be less error at least.
