High School Graduate Not Sure What to Do...

I'd be interested to know why all of a sudden junior college isn't right for him.
Did a friend or girlfriend change their plans and decide to go else where and now he want to do the same?
Making changes like this for friends sake is a mistake - and I wouldn't support a change for that reason.
Friends come and go - and he's going to make new friends.
I think at this point he needs to try junior college as planned for a year and get some credits under his belt.
If he's serious about going away to college or joining the Air Force then they aren't going anywhere and will be there next year - and he can better prepare himself to make that change.
If he joins the Air Force - he's not going to be able to change his mind and just quit.
If he gets a degree first before joining, he'll be higher up on the pay scale and on his way to officer training.
It's good for him to have a strategy for a path forward rather than just making a stab in the dark and trying random things.
Seeing a career counselor at junior college and taking some aptitude tests might help give him some direction.

Did you switch from one kid to a group of kids? Your post is confusing.

If it's just the one kid, then tell him that he has a month to decide. He has to go to school or go in the Air Force. One of the two. I hope that if it's college he chooses, that he's going OFF to school and not staying at home debating what cereal for you to buy him this fall. He needs to grow up. If he chooses the Air Force, the first time he tries to debate with his CO, he'll be doing 100 pushups and learn his lesson to shut his mouth.

Decide to back either one, but tell him in no uncertain terms that he is out of the house. There is no hanging around the house doing nothing and making you crazy with his debates.

I don't have kids that old yet but it seems like kids are more confused nowadays. It was a given I was going to college. That was that. Not so easy anymore. But in this case, he can't just go away to a decent college at this point. Maybe for January admission but then he's coming in late which is hard. Air Force is huge commitment. I'd tell him he's doing junior college as planned and can explore what other schools to apply to during the year and learn more about the Air Force too. Sometimes maybe we as parents just need to say "this is it". Not sure you have a lot to lose doing that. I wouldn't want my child enlisting on a whim so that decision should take more than this summer unless he's always been thinking about it. And a regular university is not an option now anyway. Junior college is probably better than hanging around or an hourly job that could actually end up kind of fun for a few months of he's with other guys his age. And you don't want him sucked into that.

Probably going to find that it's a bit late in the game to "go away" to college now. At least for this fall. They *might* can get accepted and registered for the fall somewhere, but they need to get on the stick TODAY if that is what they want.

I wouldn't "wash my hands" of their plans so quickly. Not asking questions anymore, not nagging, those aren't the same things. Or at least, they don't *have* to be.

And most kids (especially the type of kid who hasn't committed to anything yet, and the type yours sounds like--from your remarks, they sound like the type that you have had to ride hard to get them to do anything and are not proactive for themselves) are not going to even be aware that they can't just decide this stuff at the last minute and still have it as an option.

You still need to talk with and guide your child. Now more than ever, perhaps. These could be life changing decisions. Yes, they have to make the decisions, but guidance from you can help them make GOOD decisions. Ask them to schedule a visit with a recruiter (if they haven't yet). Help them figure out what kinds of things to ask about. Ask them to find out when they can visit the college they are interested in. Maybe they don't know that's an option -- to go visit the school.

Help them understand their options fully. Because they won't know what they are without help. And that does not mean they are slackers. It just means they are young and naive about the way things work. Teach them. Show them. Guide them.

Good luck.

I would say not funding their decision will be a good way to make them think it through.

Considering most regulars are aware your 18 year old is a son is there a reason you went with they, them, ambiguous terms for gender that are also plural (which is what confused me)?

Just want to add, of four kids I have only had one who treated my money as if it were their money. She was also the one who went through four years of college, away, with no prodding. The other after a year of failure I said you have to pay, um, oh, I think I will stay home. I have good kids and the one who skipped college actually makes more than the grad but I am sure if it were my dime he would still be kicking that dead horse

Well I'm sure it's too late to "go away" to college at this point as applications were submitted back in Fall 15 and dorms are full, etc.
I'm sure the military will be glad to take him? her? why the "they" in your question? that's very strange...
I guess it really has to do with what you're willing to support and pay for. My ex husband and I always (and still do) saw college as something we would provide, meaning we would pay for it, and continue to house/feed them while they were in school.
It's hard to make "life" decisions at 18, I would just tell my kid look, if you need to take some time, get a job, whatever, that's fine and if you decide you want to go back to school I'll be here to help you out.
What else can you do? They have to want it, right?

I suggest go with the junior college and make plans for a 4 year college for next year....it is too late now to start an away school. I applied in august for the following fall admission (yes, a full year in advance). Took that long to do the admissions, financial aide, housing, etc etc etc and moving....

If they meet with a recruiter they are going to get a very heavy sell and a we need you to sign right now today. So make sure they go in with an iron will of just checking it out.

My DHs opinion of the military is that if our kids want to join they will do it after college as an officer....do ROTC in college...that way it can really be a lucrative career. He went in enlisted right out of high school and left after 8 years because there was no where to go up during the 90s cut backs. They all told him (his officers, to use GI Bill and get a degree asap and get back in as an officer).

I am really thinking it is too late to do anything other than the jr college for NOW....and it is a great choice and economical. Good luck!!

If he can't decide, maybe he can choose both. College than military, or military and then college. Have him research what the military can do to help with college. Maybe he could do an rotc program in college and then go into the military.

I'm a little confused about the "them" and "they" also?

Not much else you can do. I think this is a sink or swim moment.

I can think of 3 things. One is to let your now-adult aware of deadlines: deadline to apply to go away to college (including a transfer deadline if he chooses 1 semester/year of junior college followed by transfer to 4-year college), deadline to submit $ to the junior college to hold the spot for the fall, deadline after which you are going to charge rent if your child is still living at home and not attending school full-time. Second, remind your child that no decision is permanent. If he goes to junior college and wants more, 4-year away from home college will still be there. If he chooses either college and then decides it's not for him, the military will still be there. All the options will still be there if he gets a job for a year. I don't know any 18 year old that really knows what they want to do with the rest of his/her life, and the pressure we put on them to decide is, to me, crazy. Do what you can to take that pressure off. The third is, after you communicate the important deadlines and take off the pressure, to give time and space.

I too become intimidated by big decisions. Concrete knowledge of a clear deadline really helps me, as does reminding myself that very few decisions in life are really permanent. Maybe these things will help your child too. Good luck to your child.

ETA: If none of those options is really calling to your child, and that's why he's indecisive - has your child thought of one of the building trades (plumbers union, painters, sheet metal, laborers unions)? If he's not a 'school' kind of person, he could apply to an apprentice program and learn a skill. A friend of mine had a bachelors and worked in healthcare (radiology tech) for 10 years. He was laid off and joined an apprentice program. He makes more $ as a second-year apprentice than he did after years of working a job with a degree. Just throwing it out there (and also a concrete example that you can always change your mind).

Either stop footing the bill, or spend some money on a life coach (certified, neutral party) to help your child work through the options and what fits best with personality, work ethic, skill set, and finances. Have your child commit to a certain number of sessions. If the child balks or backs out, take the sessions yourself to figure out how to set boundaries as a parent of an adult child. Set a time limit for when you'll stop paying for everything if there is no decision - and mean it.

It's okay for an 18 year old to not have all the answers or know what to do for a career - and switching decisions means there's some rudderless sailing here. It's okay for you not to know how to provide guidance at this point - maybe an outside professional would have more luck as well as know the realities of the working/military/academic world.

they can take classes for a year at the jr college to figure out what they want to do with their life. if they decide to do something different next year then the jr college classes should transfer. they can also meet with that advisor again and talk it over with them to get an idea of whats best for them

It's OK, at 18, to not know how one wants to spend their lives. And, even more importantly is to know that any decision made at 18 can be changed along the way. What is important is to make a decision. That decision is only a starting point.

I suggest you help him by guiding him in ways to get information so that he can make a decision based on facts, not feelings. Of the three choices, going to a 4 year university/college can't be done this year. The second, enlisting, is a four year commitment. Junior college is the only choice that allows flexibility. Or, a fourth choice, working this summer or fall, also provides flexibility.

I suggest he's not ready to make a long term commitment. So focus on what he can do now and leave other options/choices to the future. Often, kids this age do not know what they want to do long term. Take that out of discussions.

Stop the nagging. You can't make him make a decision. Instead, focus on what you're willing to accept. Can he live at home, doing nothing. If not give him that information/boundary. Will you pay for junior college or college? If so, under what circumstances? You make the boundaries based on your needs.

It's very true that his decision now only needs a short term commitment. Emphasize that he is not deciding on the rest of his life. I went to college and became a teacher. After three years of teaching, I became a police officer. After 13 years as a cop, I wanted to do something else. After realizing that I would be able to collect my pension in five years, I stayed in law enforcement. After I retired, I worked at jobs, not careers, in which I was interested. I have a daughter and grandchildren. My life and interests changed over the years. We need experiences to help us make decisions as we move forward.

I would choose junior college and working if I were in his shoes. I'm an active person. If I were less able to maintain the energy to do both, I would choose just one with which to start to gain experience, to have time to mature.

I worked full time for a year before college to earn money for college. I had a goal. I knew my next step. He doesn't have to know his next step. He just needs to make a decision for now, perhaps for a year. Take the heat out of the decision by knowing it's short term.

Talk thru the choices with him. Emphasize that this decision is short term, give him deadlines based on what is acceptable to you and then leave him to make the choice.