Horrible Nightmare About My Son Dying! Can't Get It Out of My Head.......

Natalie,
It is not silly to ask about this nightmare.

Dreams can be God trying to tell us something. Usually that we need to pray about the person in the dream. I think there is no doubt you need to be in prayer. And that you should also do the other things that have already been suggested. (putting an extra lock at the top of the door where your son could not reach, installing a baby gate at the doors, putting up a fence, utilizing an alarm while at home, etc.)

You also need to equip yourself with some scripture to speak over yourself and your son.
Psalm 91:4-5
"4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,..."

I have had my son nearly drown, and nearly die of a terrible allergic reaction mixed with a terrible virus. I know that feeling of fear that can almost choke you. We have to remember that fear is not of the LORD. You cannot allow yourself to become consumed by fear. After you have prayed and taken action to protect your son, cast off your fear. Don't walk in that (fear), because that is an awful way to live.
Here is another verse to help:
1John 4:18
"18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."

Of course, like others have said, this may be a product of fear that you have due to the dog that you lost in this way and the fact that you are pregnant. I contend that if you pray about the safety of your son, and do the things recommended, and stand on the Word of God, then peace will come to you. You can ask God to take away your fear and replace it with peace of mind, also.

Romans 8:15
"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[a] And by him we cry, "Abba,[b] Father."

2 Tim 1:7
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Phil 4:7
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

2 Cor 13:11
"And the God of love and peace will be with you."

Hope this brings you some relief.
~S.

Oh N., what an awful dream! I had one too not that long ago that I forgot I was holding my son in the pool and when I remembered, I looked down and he was floating in the water face first! I woke up making that loud "uhhhhhh" noise you make when you take a deep intake of breath. I felt SICK for days and now feel uneasy about taking him to a pool. Then I had a dream that I was shopping in a huge mall and forgot I had the stroller with me and when I realized it, I couldn't find the stroller with him in it anywhere. In my dream I was running around the mall screaming and crying and I woke up crying. Sometimes dreams are SO terrible.
But the fact that you live on a busy road is definitely reason to worry and the anxiety would certainly cause you to have nightmares. My suggestion is to be overly cautious. Do you have those safety things that go on the door knobs so your son can't open them and go outside without you? Mine(16 mos)just learned how to open the doors and unfortunately we have the knobs that are not round shaped. They are the long ones you pull down so we keep access doors locked at all times. I also insisted my husband install an alarm which sounds off every time a door or window is opened.
Perhaps you can look into installing one of those fences around your front yard...the short picked fence kind. They sell them by the foot and you can position it anyway you need,even just around the front entry doorway area so that if your son should ever learn how to open the door and walk out, he can't get very far.
I would also get a sign to put near the street that says,"please drive with caution,children at play". I have seen them on busy streets in my neighborhood. My husband told me a horrible story about his nephew who sleptwalked at age 4. He sleptwalked all the way out the front door and on to the highway where he was hit by a car. The nephew is now 9 and ok but they were very lucky. You can NEVER be too careful regarding your children so take wahtever measures you need to. Sometimes my husband or sisters joke with me that I am too overprotective but I'd rather be too overprotective than overly laid back and have something terrible happen to my precious baby.

Here are some sites to barriers,gates,and fences I found:
http://www.totsafe.com/proddetail.asp?prod=4700

http://www.safeguardfence.com/?gclid=CLzFubaVio8CFRCTIgod...

http://www.us-fence.com/HTML/fence-vinyl.html

http://www.poolproducts.com/-i-IGF-KAF-5PICKET.htm#GEN5=B...

http://www.poolsupplies.com/cgi-bin/Commerce.exe?key=SD07...

http://www.us-fence.com/HTML/fence-picket.html

When I was preg with my first I had terribly graphic nightmares about my dogs dying- ripped to shreds, poisoned, everything. I would wake up drenched in sweat and crying. The images haunted me during the day. It was awful. Then after my baby was born, I had nightmares about horrible things happening to her- leaving her carseat on top of the car and driving off- with her in it... That was pretty bad, too. All I can tell you is that I was told it's normal. It just shows you how much you love your child. I've had dreams come true in the past as well, but those never did. Hold in there. They'll probably go away- just in time for you to develop a new fear to have nightmares about. ;)
Good luck!!!

N., you've gotten great advice. I'll just tell you you're not crazy for your vivid dream (or, if you are, we both are!) --

Years ago, when my son was not quite 2, we lived in an apartment. I had a dream one night that as he and I walked out of our ground-floor apartment, he bolted toward the parking lot as I was locking the door. And in my dream, everything went into slow motion, and I was rooted to the spot, and could just stand there and watch him run toward the parking lot, and as soon as he got one foot into the lot, a car came speeding through and struck him.

I had that dream more than 7 years ago, and it still makes my heart race and makes me get teary. It was an awful, awful dream.

However, my son is 9, and is perfectly healthy and fine. Of course, I think that dream made me even more paranoid in parking lots (I instituted the we-don't-move-unless-you're-holding-my-hand rule and strictly enforced it!)...

I can completely relate on how disturbing those dreams are...but, in our case at least, it was just fear releasing itself, not a premonition of things to come.

Get out the phone book and start calling around for fence
prices and installer prices. What is the size of your yard?
You will need to know that. After you have a bunch of estimates, consult your husband, if he can not get out to
do it and the prices shown to him does not get as fire
lit under his tush, then he will agree with a company to
go with for installing the fence asap. Adult high locks
are a good precaution, tho when hubby is not home, you need to
be up to let him in. Get a copy of the local paper like the
whitesettlement bomber, there will be ads in it from handymen
to do it cheaper than fence company as well as reasonable
priced companies. Even get a baby gate and put in the door
way if you have a screen to open and let in this nice
cool air.

Ok I hope this helps but I had so many crazy off the wall nightmares when I was pregnant. I gave birth to a cat and all kinds of crazy stuff. I know these arent scary but your body is just going through a lot right now.
I have thoughts like that run through my head every now and then while driving or something like that just seeing something harm my children and it's really scary. It's fear's like this that we all take on as mother's. I can't even watch the news anymore.
My mother owns a dream dictionary which you can also look up similar stuff to this up online but anytime you dream of death it means "birth". I don't know if you ever look into stuff like that but just thought i would throw it out there.
I would also suggest putting child proof door knobs all throughout the house.
I hope you start feeling better I can imagine how scary that would be.

I am so sorry that you had such a horrible dream I can only imagine how it made you feel. My mother always told me that your dreams are trying to tell you something. Anytime you dream of someone dying it means that someone is having a baby. If you fear something in your dreams do something about it. Maybe this is God's way of telling you to extra careful with your children around this street. I know your little boy is to young to understand, but you can do somethings around your house to make you feel more comfortable. My two year old can now open all doors in the house so I always make sure to lock them and double check them all day long. Also you can keep your alarm on so that if he did somehow open the door the alarm would go off and warn you. You could also put up a baby gate outside the front door so if he does open the door the baby gate will stop him from getting out. Another idea is fencing the front yard in so that if he did get out he could not get into the street. I don't really know if that is an option for you, but it would cost a lot less than moving.

One thing I hate about dreams is how "real" they feel sometimes, and how even exaggerated they can be in emotion or fear. Of course, this being the biggest priority in a mom's life: the safety of our children, it's not surprising that we have scary dreams sometimes. I do believe that sometimes we have dreams because we have a deep-rooted fear (like because of your dog), but other times, it's just a warning to do something different.
I have had experiences that might sound flaky, but they involved a scary dream, and I did something about it, and recognized a situation in "real" life later and thought WOW I'm so glad!!! I think that for the time being, a safety latch attached to the top of your door would help a lot. Also if you have a simple alarm that just beeps when a door or window opens. A fence for your front yard or if that's too expensive then maybe something cute along your porch that can be closed. Your son is young enough to stay in the backyard when playing right now anyway. But there are other things you can't really plan and prepare for and I would honestly say to just pray for your kids and trust that God will take care of the rest.
Sometimes dreams are just that: stupid horrible dreams that bring up things that bother you: you're upset that the cars drive too fast, you remember your dog, etc. Other times they can be just a warning to tell you to do something: lobby for a speedbump near your home? Start childproofing your home/yard? Educate your children on safety and the danger of playing near the road? Pray for them? I think the combination of all those things can not only protect your children but ease your fears as well.

You've received a lot of great advice.

One: Get quotes on a fence. If your husband is even remotely able to build things, he can put up a fence himself, a lot cheaper than going with a builder, but DEFINITELY call and get quotes the fence, that way it's something he does not have to do.

Two: Get an alarm system on the house. We have one that beeps when you open doors and windows so you know something is opened. This was truly a lifesaver when my oldest two were little, before my husband built our fence.

We actually had a child get hit and killed in the alleyway about 4 houses down a few years before we moved in.

Also, when I was pregnant (all 4 times) I had the craziest dreams, not all of them happy dreams, and several that woke me up crying. Just remember they are dreams. The fence though is a real issue and talk about it constantly until your DH gets that resolved. Let him know how important it is.

And like another reader stated, if something were to happen to your child, ya'll would never be able to forgive yourself.

I don't have any advice about the nightmare but maybe you could put a lock on your doors at the top that only adults can reach or have your husband install one of the door locks that locks from the inside with a key. Maybe this would help you to relax a little and would be a lot less time consuming than installing a new fence. I would still install the fence, I don't think you can ever have enough barriers from dangerous things when you have young kids. Sorry you had such a horrible dream. I'm sure you just dreamed it because it is something you think about and worry about daily.

I would push your husband for the fence or to move. I needs to be a priority for the safety of your son and to ease your anxiety. I understand that he works, but make him find the time if you can. Your husband would never forgive himself if something did happen. He would wish that he had taken the time to do this very important thing. Even if you don't have the money...try to get a Lowe's credit card or something. They have very easy to install, prebuilt sections of fencing in different materials. It would be worth the probably $20-30 month payments to have peace of mind. Good luck.

I think you should have a handy man put up a fence if your husband can't or some neighbors help with the project or social/church friends/ volunteers. but aside from that you might be having the dream and anxiety as a manifestation of some area of your life being out of sorts. plus you are expecting a baby so that makes you have more anxiety and stress and hormones can make us worry about all kinds of things.

like its not really the fence and road you are worried about maybe its where you are in life and feeling unsafe and unsecure in an area of your life and it is manifestating to the anxiety over your son??? who knows I just know that when parts of my life are under stress or in chaos then I have anxiety about totally unrelated things and dreams also. Talk to your hubby and let him know that you are really stressed out and feel unsafe with no fence and see if he can orgonize some way to put up a small fence. or get one of those play yard fences that are like a dog pen but for kids. Good Luck, AJ

Hi N.,
Believe it or not it is pretty common to have nightmares about our children getting hurt. I believe it is because all we do all day long is worry about them and keep them safe. I used to dream that I would walk into the bathroom to find my daughter drowned in the tub. It was so vivid!! Its horrible and it takes a while to get it out of your head. I definitly think you should buy a lock for the top of the door that only you or your husband would be able to reach. This would give you peace of mind!!! Take care!

Im really sorry about the dream you had, that is definitely very scary! Im overprotective of my little one too, he is 5 now. I always think the worst of what could happen. I would agree with some of the other moms of putting a latch at the top of the front door that your son cannot reach, Ive had one for years for security reasons (someone broke into our house when I was 13 and home along, so Ive always had max security)I also agree that you or your husband needs to get someone out pronto to put up a fence. Just let him know the safety issue is concerning to you. Im sure he would understand!

My grandmother had a dream about her toddler getting hit by a car. She even knew the type of car and everything. The next day, it happened just how she dreamt. He was injured very badly, but healed alright.

Some dreams feel like premonitions, others are just dreams about worries we have alot, and some have no basis at all!

I've had some terrifying dreams as well, so far, nothing bad has happened!

Last night my daughter who is 19 months woke up and would not go back to sleep in her crib. I brought her into bed with me and she eventually fell back asleep. I must have been dreaming because I starting shaking her and screaming to my husband that Emily was dead! I was awake but I was sleeping if you know what I mean. Before I started to scream I lifted her arm and it was limp, then I shook her and she was limp...then I went crazy. My husband had to roll over me to get her because I was shaking her to wake up.When I finally came to I was so freaked out I couldnt go back to sleep. I dont know why this happened but I cant stop thinking about it! It was so real. I never want to experience that again. I am wondering if it is because I work in a hospital and I see crazy stuff...not sure. My biggest fear is that one of my children die.