How Long Before You Knew He/she Was the One?

My husband said that when he first saw M. at a party, he couldn't keep his eyes off M. but thought I was with my husband. He sent M. an email the next day asking if I was with my husband, and I laughed and told him "no, J. a friend". He said he knew at that point that I was the one. It took M. a little while longer. It was so refreshing to talk to someone who loved hearing about the mundane details, and seemed so excited to see M. and be with M.. We've been married 12 1/2 years and he's still excited to see M. every day. He fills that need inside of M. to be adored and loved like that. We are a perfect match. He isn't a perfect person, and neither am I, but we are so great together. I love him so very much, and he's such a relief after my first marriage!

We were friends for two years before he came to see M. at college. UW-Madison. Madison is KNOWN for INSANE Halloweens and we were walking down State Street and I got caught up in mob of people and got my ankle CRUSHED.

He was a Marine at the time and threw M. over his shoulder and carried M. back to my dorm. It was close to a mile away and weaving thru a HUGE crowd. Yup, he had M. right then and there. We got married six years later and will be together for 25 years this Halloween.

That man STILL rocks!

I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 28. Well we had been dating a year when was working out of town for 2 months when my father passed away. My husband was at his mothers wedding in Delaware when I called him he told M. not to worry he would be on the first flight back to az and meet M. there. And he did :) it was that act that made M. realize he was the one I wanted for life :) and today we have been together for 7.5 years and married for 1.5 years, have a 5 year old son and a little girl due Feb

It took awhile but then I first met my husband when he was 14 and I was 17.
He was cute and followed M. around school like a puppy dog, would carry my books and walk M. home.
I wasn't looking for love and what the heck was I going to do with a pet freshman?
But he grew on M.!
We courted 9 years (finished school, got our degrees, got jobs) and grew up before we married.
We J. celebrated our 22 anniversary!

I was 24 when I met my husband and I can tell you that I knew within 2 weeks that he was "the one." Actually, it's a feeling I had immediately, but didn't really seriously consider it until about 2 weeks later. I'd dated quite a bit and my husband was like a breath of fresh air: sweet, considerate, chivalrous -- and in no hurry to try and get M. into the sack. I must say, that went quite a long way with M. because every other guy that I had dated around that time was only interested in sex on the first date. Anyway, we dated for four years and will be married for 15 years this upcoming February.

My first hubby I knew for 4 years before we started dating. At our one year anniversary he proposed, we were married a year later. I figured after knowing him for so long and we got along "ok" although I wasn't head over heals in love with him, I did love him. 5 years later we were divorced.

Hubby #2. We met one night at a bar after I was stood up by my boyfriend. I was mad and upset and said screw it, Im going to the bar. It was the first time I ever went out with out make up, in a sweat shirt and pj bottoms. ( normally I would NEVER walk out of my house that way!!! I was J. so upset and when a friend stopped by and said lets go, I did) well he was sitting next to the group of friends I was with and we started talking. He was gorgeous!! I still to this day can't believe he gave M. the time of day lol. I gave him my number even though I knew in my heart he would never call. The next day he called and said how pretty I was. I was in shock. after 3 months I knew I wanted to marry him. I was already so in love with him. Although I never told him that! After 6 mo we were watching a movie and he said can I tell you something with out freaking you out.... I said yes. He told M. that he loved and never knew that love could feel this way, especially so soon. 3 months later we were married.

so after meeting on day 1 to our wedding it was 9 1/2 months to the day. 5 years later ( even with a few minor bumps) we both are so in love with each other.

My husband and i met randomly on myspace 4 yrs ago hes from Ireland and i was taking a trip there i ran across his profile and added him we chatted for 5 mths in the meantime my trip got cancelled due to funds so one day i got a message from him saying i was really looking forward to meeting you so how bout i come to Texas, i agreed and the moment he stepped off the plane and kissed M. i knew it!!!! We were married 4 DAYS later!!! lol and have been married for over 3 yrs with a 1 yr old son and another on the way. We are so happy we never fight (i know its odd) and even tho our families were pissed at the beginning they all love each other now and M. and my family go visit his family in Ireland 1 to 2times a yr and his folks come here every year. Its been great and i cant even think of my life without him but yes from the first sec i met him i knew it !!!! Plus the irish accent helped alot too!!!!! lol

I was one of those - instantly - people. We met working at Burger King at 16 LOL and the first time I laid eyes on him I was done. I J. knew he was 'the one'. We have been together for 11 1/2 years and married for 7 as of yesterday

We were set up by my best friend and her fiance at their wedding! I knew that night that he was the one. I actually told my friends fiance 'thank you for introducing M. to my future husband'. We have kind of a 'backwards' relationship...we got pregnant after about a year of being together, then got married and we J. had our second daughter 2 weeks ago. After being together for 8 years, married for 5 and 2 kids...we couldn't be happier!

I knew within about two weeks. I meet my husband in the fall of 1999. We married in June of 2001. We will celebrate ten years this spring. He is the best thing that ever happened to M..

my hubby says instantly....he was in the service at the time hanging out w/the guys at a bar & I was w/friends & a guy that I had been seeing (not seriously) we kept staring at each other from across the bar my friend went up to him & said I wanted his number, got his number & called him 2 days later we talked on the phone for over an hour. We've been together for 17 yrs married 9 yrs & have 2 kids a 6 1/2 yr old 2 1/2 yr old. I think I knew within the 3-6 month mark.

My husband and I worked together and were friends for a year, before we started dating. He was my boss and that was a huge no-no, so I left the job after a year, and we started dating. (I hated the job, and he was a great excuse!!) With that said...we stood out to each other right away. There was definitely a different chemistry and connection then we've never had with anyone else. Once we started dating, It took a month for M. to REALLY know he was it for M.. We were engaged after 4 1/2 months of dating, and married 8 months later. 5 years of marriage now, and no regrets!!

We started dating when I was 20 and definitely not looking for a long-term relationship/boyfriend! I had J. split with my H.S. sweetheart and he J. had a baby. We started out as friends and I was his "maid". Seriously :) he lived with my Step-Dad and I cleaned their house weekly. He told M. he loved M. after 3 months and I said "ok.....but I don't want a high maintenance relationship". Nice, huh?! We dated 7 years and have been married for 9.

ive known my husband since I was 19 ( im almost 33). We were together for 4 years and broke up. We did our own thing and kept in touch for 4 more years. Out of the blue in january '06 he called M. and told M. he loved M. and didn't want to spend another day without M.. It worked! This year was our 5 th wedding anniversary and I do love him deeply. He is kind and caring and im very lucky :) sounds cheesy but I J. can't imagine loving anyone else. Even when we weren't together we both had other people but something was always missing. Love this question! Can't wait for him to get home.....

I knew the day I met DH that I would marry him. I literally walked away from our company outing saying "I J. met the guy I'm gonna marry"...
12 years later (and 6 yrs of marriage), I was right.

With my 1st husband, I think it was a couple weeks. I still really believe he and I are soulmates, we J. screwed it up. WIth my new husband it was about a month before I knew I was in love with him. We were on again, off again for 10 years. It took us until 3 years ago to decide to commit to each other. We still struggle back and forth with it. I am sitting here today wondering if it will work long term.

I was engaged when I was 18... I thought he was the one but we were both young and dumb and he had issues that I was not aware of from his childhood.... it was a terrible break up but I never forgot him.... (he actually facebooked M. recently.... another story ...since this Your post not mine! smile!)
I met my 1st husband Feb 3rd and we got married July 1st! We were married for 14 years.I loved him but he was an alcoholic and when he started using drugs... I couldn't have have my kids around it so I grew a backbone and got us all out!
I met my current husband soon after my 1st and I separated and we started out more as J. friends for a few months and then dated for over a year.
On our first date, I knew my first husband was the love of my life but I didn't know he was an alcoholic because I was only twenty when we met. But we thought we were madly in love. Maybe we were.... but hind sight is 20/20 and now I know that it is always better to get a little peek at hindsight and there is absolutely no way to do that without really getting to know someone.
I see now that... most of my relationships have been rebounds so not sure if I ever really have been convinced that we can know if anyone is the one... but I can tell you that from my experience I pretty much have known J. by objectively watching my kids in their relationships... who was the one for them and no one until now made M. feel they had found "the one" but I am blessed to say that I think that both my son and daughter have found their life mates in who they are with now and that is huge for M. to say... too bad I couldn't figure that out for M. along the way... huh?

He knew before I did... I think I was too guarded to admit how quickly I fell for him... Rob told M. he was in love with M. the 4th time we hung out!! The rest is history :)

I still don't know...LOL. We've been together for 12 years, married for 10 years, have 4 kids together, work together (he runs my office) and we homeschool (I do most of it). there are days I can't believe I married him and other days I can't imagine my life without him. Literally, on our wedding day, I was thinking that if this didn't work out, I could always get it annulled. Nice, huh? I am the commitmentphobe. It appears things are going along J. fine. You can stare at the bad stuff or you can stare at the good stuff...but make sure you are looking at things clearly. We CHOOSE to make our marriage work.

I met my husband my last semester of college, it was his first semester (he had J. left the military...enlisted out of high school).

I thought he was cute, and super nice, I really enjoyed dating him...but on about our third date I told him I was graduating in a couple of months and I didn't want a long distance relationship. So if he thought any of my friends were cute, I would set them up.

He told M. that he didn't want to date any of my friends he wanted to date M.. I said fine but I am outta here...I was not going to stay in that small college town.

Well by the end of the semester I was hooked...I still moved to another town where I got a job and he was still in school 6.5 hours away. The following semester he drove 6.5 hours every Friday when his classes got out to see M. and drove back to school on Sunday afternoon. EVERY WEEKEND for five months. Then he enrolled in summer school where I was living and we spend the summer dating.

When he went back to school in the fall it J. about killed M., because I had figured out he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with...he proposed on my birthday half way through that semester (and yes he was still driving down every weekend). Part of his proposal was that if I would marry him and move back to our college town that he thought I should get my Master's Degree while he finished his degree. THAT was what sold M. right there (if I hadn't already been sold)...that he wanted M. to get more education and that he didn't J. expect M. to work and support us while he finished school. He wanted the best out of life for M..

So, 15 years later we are still married.

My husband and I clicked one night over the summer. However, he was in Georgia for the summer, and I was flying back to NJ. We talked on the phone every day until school started back up in August (so about 1.5 months). The only question in my head was the physical attraction. Everything else fit perfectly - he amused M., he understood M., we had similar religious beliefs, etc. He was/is a computer nerd and I knew I would need someone who I also had a physical connection with and I doubted if it would be there. However, when I saw him back and school and we finally kissed, the passion was there and it was in the moment of that kiss that I knew I would marry him.

LITERALLY the SECOND I looked into my husbands amazing eyes I knew he was the one. I didn't even know his last name or even have plans to see him again but I called my mom and told her I met the one. He felt the same way but his situation was a little difficult (coming out of a relationship) but he knew.. we were talking about marriage within like 3 weeks (not that immature high school conversation) but J. matter-of-factly, we both knew it was inevitable we J. knew we had to finish falling completely in love first.. we were perfect for each other and basically accepted the fact that we'd be stuck with each other. I'm still falling in love him him four years later! My situation is by no means normal.. I know so many couples that are very happy and it took them a while to realize.. and I see so many people throw away great relationships because they didn't have "that feeling" and ended up losing a great person and being miserable..

I liked him from the moment I saw him. I enjoyed being around him. He was my BIL's friend, so when I lived with my sister (married to that BIL), my husband would come over (not my husband then of course) and hang out with my BIL. I loved being around him.

But I was also pretty bitter from past relationships and from dad issues, and so I wasn't interested in a relationship. I wanted to try to not have one for a while. For about 1.5 months, maybe seeing him five times as he came over to see my BIL, I kept getting thoughts that he was the one. But due to my attitude about it, I J. tried to ignore it.

After 1.5 months, I "knew" he was the one. Knew it without a doubt. The only problem was, he hadn't asked M. out yet. hehe. Two weeks after I knew he was the one, he asked M. out. He had to go to drill for a few weeks with the army, so we didn't actually date until about a month later.

We dated for six weeks, then we got engaged, then we were married three months later. Turns out when he first saw M., he knew he was going to marry M.. It took him by surprise to feel it so strongly. It felt like we were taking it slow. We were both trying to not scare the other one with our intense feelings that we should get married. hehe. Anyway, we're still happily married almost 10 years later. Baby #5 is due in less than a week. I still look at him and think what a lucky girl I am to have him as my hubby. Sure, we have our issues, but they are minor and every couple has them. I feel very blessed to have such an amazing man as a husband. He says he feels the same way.

I married twice, and didn't know for quite a long time, either time, that this was the person was "the one." (Turned out the first guy wasn't.)

Actually, I married the first time to get away from my controlling mother. I J. didn't have the experience or maturity to understand my own motives then. I was strongly attracted to my very handsome first husband, but he turned out to be even more controlling than my mother.

Fifteen years later I met my second husband. He had many qualities that were attractive to M., but I was pretty sure I didn't want to get married again, and took my time getting to know him. However, after our first meeting, I told my daughter over dinner that evening that "if" I ever married again, it would be to this kind of man.

We worked together professionally for several months, started dating, talked a lot about not only the present but our visions of the future, and gradually realized we were a terrific match, and my objections to remarrying gradually faded.

We undertook a clearness process through his Quaker church. People asked us some challenging and difficult questions, and got us to really look at what the future might hold. So many things change as we age. Our needs and motivations can transform tremendously as we pass from one stage of life to another, and this clearness committee made us look carefully at all of the foreseeable changes, and carefully consider how we might feel about them.

We'll be celebrating our 30th anniversary next spring – still very much in love.

We worked together. I was in a long-term relationship (7+ years) and he was married. We got along so well and he was such a great guy. I would always think to myself, "This is the guy for M.. I wish he wasn't married."

Well, lo and behold, his wife cheated on him and asked for a divorce, and I broke-up for the last time with my then boyfriend. We started dating and the rest, as they say, is history. We'll celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary this month.

Wishes do come true.

I'm still trying to figure that out....and we've been married 10 years (almost 11).....LOL....J. kidding. It was pretty immediate. We J. clicked and we both had the same desires and wants in life. So far so good. :)

Love & marriage are two different things, which I think people often confuse. You can fall in love at first sight (though I did not & don't think I could, I'm too cautious) but you can't possibly know if someone is right to marry at first sight.
What makes a good marriage? It takes two individuals traveling down the same path in life, who can communicate with each other & have compatible personalities. How do you find out if your bf is the one...you talk, a lot. You ask questions (and listen to his answers & observe his body language; make sure his words & body language match). Things you should discuss (don't assume any answers on his part; my friend assumed some answers about her husband & they wound up divorced in less than 5 years, turns out there were some things she should have asked).
1. Discuss the possibility of divorce. Is it an option? What things does he think are divorce worthy? How long does he think a marriage should last (some people actually think 5 years is a successful marriage!)?
2. Does he want kids? How many? Will you use day care or will a parent stay home or work a different shift? Who will discipline the kids? Who will wake up in the middle of the night? Who will drive them around? Who will feed them? (My friend was very surprised to discover that her exhusband felt he did not need to do anything for their child, even though they both worked full time). How will you discipline (is spanking ok)? How do you both expect your kids to behave (is it ok if they run around the house screaming, or do they have to be seen but not heard; or somewhere in between)?
3. Finances: Who will be responsible for paying the bills? Will you have one joint account to pay the bills from or will you each have your own accounts & each be responsible for different bills? If one of you becomes a stay at home parent, how will you share the money? Will the stay at home parent get an allowance or will they have access to all the money? How much money is each of you allowed to spend before consulting the other person (a $5 limit, $50, $100 or more?)? (My husband & I discuss everything. Right now I'm a SAHM, so money is tight. We generally have a $50 rule (purchases $50 or more must be discussed ahead of time & approved by the other person, unless its something essential - like medicine), but usually we tell each other everything we buy, even coffee/lunch, etc. We keep no secrets. Also, how often will you discuss household expenses & go over your budget (once a week, once a month)? I pay the bills. Usually, after I'm done paying bills I will let my hubby know what I payed & our current account balance. (I usually pay bills twice a month). You also need to discuss credit cards & how you use them. Is it ok to carry a balance over from month to month or must it be paid off each month? How many cards can carry a balance? Do either of you have any debt you will be bringing into a marriage; if so, how much is it, what kind is it, & what is the interest rate & pay off date?
4. Lifestyle: What will your life be like when you are married, what are each of you envisioning? Be honest! Who will cook, who will clean? How often will you eat out? How often will you get to see your friends?

This is J. a start & I hope you find it helpful. My hubby & I started discussing these types of things after about 4 months together. By 9 months we were both sure we wanted to marry each other. We did NOT have all the same answers to all the questions, but we had enough same & similar answers that we knew we were compatible. We also both knew exactly what we were getting into. We still have many of these discussions, b/c answers can change over time.
Please know that its ok to love someone & not want to marry them. If your bf gives answers you don't like, its ok to move on & find someone who does. Or to stay with him for however long you want; knowing that his is not the one to marry. J. don't expect him to change. Very few people do. (Of course I hope he gives all the answers you want).
Good luck.

I knew after dating for 2 weeks. That was in fall of 1991, so we're at 20 years now.

Four hours, we are married now. :)

I knew this was you!

We dated for several months before I really put thought into whether or not I would want to spend my life with the man- maybe 2 or 3. It all went quickly from there! Built a house, got engaged and got married all within 18 months.

My friend recruited my husband to show M. around when I first moved to LA. She says that she wasn't trying to set us up but she had tried to hook us up before but we were on opposite coasts and it never happened. Well, after I finally met him, I told my friend he was a nice guy but I didn't really see us together. Since he was the only person I knew in LA, though, he showed M. around for the week I was there before I headed back to NY to pack up my things. By the end of the week, I was intrigued. After I got back to LA, we hung out some more and by the end of the 2nd week, I knew he was the one. Same story on his end. Yes, we're still together and we've had ups and downs but we're still in love and happy :) (update: we've been together 4 years)

I don't know WHEN it happened though it was quick for us...within a month of meeting. We met in a bar, after a girl he'd been dating dumped him. (too bad for her) We didn't have anything to write numbers on so I promised I'd call him (i didn't oops) He remember from our conversation that I worked at a certain restaurant and he called up there while I was working and asked M. out...I was impressed he went through the trouble. After our first date, we were together constantly, and I knew pretty quickly that he was IT. I found out SO many times that we'd almost met but hadn't...his Dad grew up with my Dad's family, he was best friends in HS w my best friend's sister (I almost went to the same HS but didn't) he dated the girl across the hall in my college dorm. I was actually engaged to somone else and had broken it off about 6 mo's earlier (long story there) It seems the fates kept us apart until the time was right for both of us.

Everyone's different though. Some people DO know right away, some take time. That doesn't mean it's not good!! I know lots of people that didn't know instantly...

The minute I shook his hand.

I knew right then and there. he wasn't what I was expecting (I usually go for the big, brawny guys like Tom Selleck - you know 6' 4" 220lbs....??) but then i'm good with that!! 16 years later and we've had our moments but I wouldn't trade him...okay - maybe sometimes!!