How to Breaking up with a Daycare

I see that you are in the Orem area. I took my kids to Just 4 Kids Adventures in Riverton and I know they have a location in Orem. Give them a call at ###-###-####, the owner is Shelley. They were great to take care of my kids for 6 years but I have since had to move them to a new place because my son starts 1st grade this year. I have never once had to worry during the day about how my boys were treated or taken care of. She has great people working for her and they really take pride in what they do. Good luck and I hope you check her out because it is a great place.

I know you did a what happend already but I just wanted to add that I have a lot of info on what to look for in high quality child care that if you email me your email I will attach it in a file for you and you can use it to find a better place. putting your LO in childcare is hard so you deserve the best. oh and in an infant room the ratio is four kids to one teacher! I know that is not enough but that is what the state says is okay. I also dont know if you broke up w/ them yet but for real you dont have to be nice if you dont like the place, dont trust them w/ your kids that is what matters....your kid comes first everyone one and thing second!

yes, if the new daycare works out for you, you go to the director and say:
i gave your center a try. THis is what happened the first day, this is what happened the second day. I am not willing to risk the third day. Thank you for accepting my son, but I don't feel comfortable leaving him here anymore. Goodbye.
It's not confrontational, and you do not owe anyone an excuse when it comes to yours son's well-being.
good luck

First of all you need to go talk to the director NOW! The conditions you experienced are just not ok so he/she needs to know about it. As far as breaking up with them, just tell her when you are meeting with her that because of these conditions you are removing your son immediately with no further financial obligations.

As parents we really rely on these people to take proper care of our children. If they were not able to follow your instruction in the first place, especially instruction that keeps the child safe, then they should have told you in the beginning.

Good luck, I am glad you found a new place to put your son.

I would let them know as soon as you know you have found another daycare. Many centers have a minimum 2 weeks notice, where you will be charged for a full 2 weeks anyway if you don't give them notice. I would make an appointment (if necessary) to talk to the director when you officially have a new daycare. Tell the director that you are leaving and why. Be honest, so that they can hopefully make some changes in the future to the way they operate. Good luck!

I had to do this with my son's first daycare. I went in alone the morning after the final straw (deep, bruised teeth marks on his little 3-month-old face and no teacher could tell me how/when it happened -- they actually suggested that it was just wrinkles from the way he had been sleeping), found the director and told her my son wouldn't be coming back. I had reported three major problems to her during the two weeks my son was there, so I'm sure it wasn't a shock to her. She told me she hoped I learned to relax... nice. I collected all his stuff, told her I wouldn't be paying the cancellation fee, and that was it. It was very stressful for me because I am usually a very non-confrontational person, but I knew my son's safety was at stake so I just took a deep breath and did it.

I think you should probably bring in a typed letter with you, in case you can't find the person in charge. That way they have a written record. I would just go in there with that, tell whoever you find that you're not coming back and why, and then consider reporting your concerns to the state licensing board.

Good luck!

Let's break this down: do you have a contract with them? If not you can break up anyway you want to. Nice is of course always better in case we want to go back somewhere. Next you document your wishes that your ex cannot pick up O and give that to them. Whomever has care of your child. They do not have permission to do so and could be in trouble. Third do not worry about etiquette you are sounding like a very nice person who cares about her child. Period. So there is no extra etiquette just your nice personality. It doesn't sound like the daycare is doing anything wrong -there are laws about so many children per adult, but it does sound like you want the kind of care that might actually be better in a home -so check out your friends mother. I had a son who was always quite large for his age, believe me everyone was able to adapt, so do not worry about some of these other things. The bottom line is that often times moms feel so guilty about leaving that nothing, no one or anything will be quite right. Take some time, to not worry, congratulations on being a worker and a mama. It is tough but you are handling it and on your own! We're proud of you.

Talk to the director and tell her plainly (once you've secured a spot in the new daycare) what happened with your son and that you are too uncomfortable to keep him in their care. Be HONEST. I would also look into reporting them to any governing boards that regulate daycares in your area.

Megan you are under no obligation to this daycare You do not have to give tHem any reason why you are leaving. A simple this is not working for us. Although depending on your conTract you may have to give them notice or pay for a number of days so cHeck with them. If you do decide to give them an explaination be sure to give them all the details of what you noticed and how they made you feel. It may save somebody else the same bad experience. Good luck and remember they work for You and you and your little one should be happy!!!

There is no etiquette for quitting daycare. Look up your contract and what it says how far in advance you have to give notice (many require 2 weeks, some none). Then you type up a letter that simply states that you are no longer in need of their services and when your son's last day will be. It's a business, not a marriage.

Personally I would also go online an post a review with your experience. I am always happy to ready positive or negative reviews when looking for something.
Good luck!

I think your doing a great job! Stay in school and you will have endless opportunities in life!
You have lots of great advise from the momma's below. I hope you find the daycare your looking for. You and your baby need to feel its a safe place.
You are the only one to go to bat for your baby. Try not to be shy when it comes to his well being. No one else in the world will stick up for him the way a momma bear will! So I wish strength and guidance!

Hi honey,

There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, more important in this world than your child. I had several bad experiences with childcare in the past myself, and I learned to break things down to the bottom line--my children above all else.

Whether you are younger or older--you are still a mama now, and your gut will tell you when to stand up for your child. I have learned the hard way that when it comes to the safety and care of my loved ones, I am much more concerned with them than some stranger's feelings. I am a polite, caring person. I am tremendously patient. I hold the door for strangers and pick up seniors that have fallen on the ice.

When it comes to my kids, I have no problem with telling a Dr or babysitter to kiss my a** if they are not acting in my child's best interest. I politely declined to have the nurse remove my son's clean diaper and onesie for weigh in. I got dirty looks, grumbling and general bitchiness out of her. Oh well...That's a negligible difference in his substantial, chubby weight, and a huge difference in his comfort in the cold, unfamiliar office. My husband has gotten used to me being "mama bear"--he didn't even look embarassed...lol...

YOU are the mama. Further--their lack of attention to the children indicates that someone's precious child is going to suffer at some point. Telling them calmly that there is a problem could be seen as a duty to perform for the health and welfare of others.

Take a deep breath, my dear, put on your warpaint, and don't ever back down when it comes to your son.

Best wishes and blessings to you

I know there is a daycare ettiquete, but if I felt my child wasn't being taken care of , i would not take them back. no second chances on my child's well being!! I would call the director and tell them exactly that! and what happened to make me feel that my child was not being taken care properly and that I would not be returning, contract or not! and also call the licensing agency and report them. I know that it is hard when you are in a position that you have to send them to daycare but even if you have to postpone your classes for a bit or something it would be worth it to make sure your child is properly taken care of. Do you have family that can help out while you are interviewing new daycares? Being summer maybe you could hire a high school babysitter to come to your home while you find a new daycare? have you looked into daycare at your college? some have stsrted offering them. or maybe than can help you locate one. Good Luck!! and always follow your gut!!

My advice is in finding a new daycare. Interview SEVERAL, if not, even more! You need to find out what is available in your area. Don't settle.
Here is a link to questions to ask while interviewing. I would always highlight the ones that were important to me. After 3 years and 3 daycares, we found the most incredible home daycare ever. Do your homework. Call the liscensor on each one and check their record.

good luck!

You do realize that your X has every right to pick up your son and a daycare provider can not stop them unless they have copies of court orders to the contrary? We can be sued if we deny a parent access to their child. We must have court documents in our posession saying that the parent is not allowed to pick them up from daycare.

As for what to say... Just say that you don't feel comfortable with such a large place and the staff/child ratios. I have taken care of multiple infants, but only with older children in the room to help hand me things and or even my mother living with me full-time. The most I've cared for with little help is 3 and then it was very difficult until they were past a year.

You really don't owe them much of an explanation. But you could tell them that you know your son would not have thrown up the way he had if he hadn't been crying for a long time. It's really not like it's their fault. 4 to 1 is normal in a baby room and most states routinely license them that way. They would have 8 infants to 2 caregivers. There's no way to do that kindly and affectionately! I've never understood why daycare centers don't mix the ages of children just like we do in home daycare. My 3-4 year olds are actually great helpers with the babies. They quite happily distract a crying baby while I'm getting them bottles or finishing up a task with another child. There is the potential for an older child to be rough with an infant. But it's better for all to teach them how to have compassion for the babies. Daycare centers are awful in my opinion. I would NEVER send a child of mine to one.

I am very much the same way in not liking confrontation, but my son was in his third daycare by the time he was 15 months, so I have some experience now here. Just because you left that day, does not mean that you can't still address those issues. Call the director, and either discuss it over the phone or ask if she will be available when you pick up or drop off. Let her know the issues that you have and make sure that she not brushing you off. She should take each one seriously and respond to each one. As for leaving, what is their policy? When I left the last one, I gave them two weeks notice, in writing. Basically, "X's last day at XYZ daycare will be 1/1/10". They didn't seem to care the whys until one of their workers started making things up, and then I was asked why. Things got bad and I ended up pulling my son out early, but had to pay for the 2 weeks. It was worth it. Feel free to contact me if you have any other questions. I have continued to be an advocate for my kids and am much less self conscious about addressing any issue that concerns me.

That is awful! You need to take your son to another place quickly. Its unacceptable how they've handled your son so say so. Tell them that you don't like the way your son is cared for and you'll be enrolling him elsewhere. You don't even have to give any more than that. If its really upsetting, take your complaints to the licensing office so that this facility will be investigated. Once you find a reputable place, you can discuss their pick up policy to avoid conflict with your ex. I hope this was helpful!

It sounds to me like you don't owe these people anything! WHen you go to take your child out of there just politely but firmly tell them you were not comfortable with the way things were handled for your situation and you have found something else that will work out a lot better for your family. And hurry! your child doesn't have his own voice right now. If you EVER have a bad gut feeling then DONT DO IT! :) Good luck. Daycare is definitely a tough tough thing!

I really don't see why you would owe this awful daycare anything. At all. Etiquette is to give two weeks notice. However, this daycare seems extra awful, so I wouldn't give them that if you don't have two weeks to give. Your son deserves better. Way better. And so do you. Yes, tell the director exactly what happened. You can also report them to the state if they are state certifiied. I don't care HOW many babies are in the room, your baby deserves proper care. I've had this type of thing happen at my kids's daycare and I went straight to the director and it never happened again. Mostly b/c that provider was never allowed in w/ the kids alone after that. So, you can make a difference in some other child's experience.

I experienced some similar problems with my daughter daycare at 6 months. The drama lasted about 3 weeks before I found a home daycare near my home. Need I say run! Some day cares are very good with infants and some stink! I called the city licensing on the daycare I had my daughter in.

You just simply explain it didn't work for ____ reason and he will not be returning. Don't be shy. Does your contract say you must give them notice? I didn't wait and didn't care. I had so many issues they would have had to take me to court and then they would have had to answer to a judge for their license.

You should just tell them your complaints, to the manager or whoever, director when you tell them that you are removing him. I would not be apologetic at all, if they are being that dismissive to you and your child. You are paying them to do a job, and they are not doing it well. I would take him out, and demand some of your deposit back, if you had to leave one.