How to Handle 4-1/2 Yr Old Whoses Substituting "Opposite" Words???

My son went through a similar phase. He would say that today yes means no and no means yes, and other opposites. He was just having fun. I just called him silly, kept it low-key and used the correct words myself. He grew out of it. At the time I thought it was annoying, but, looking back, it was pretty funny.

Good luck!

i would give him the "mommy" look (with a bit of humor), and say, "well "I" think YOU are being super SILLY!" and tickle the snot out of him. or maybe play it back to him, "you want to put your shoes on your hands? well "I" want to put your shoes on your knees!" it sounds like he's being a typical goofy 4 year old. maybe he is wanting attention, maybe he's wanting to make you laugh. it's harmless. he knows the difference. if it comes down to needing him to tell you the truth and you know he is saying the exact opposite (honey did you feed the dog? when you know he didn't, and he says "yes mommy i did feed the dog!") then i would nail him down and get firm with him. "is that your silly answer or is that the RIGHT answer?" or get on him about "is that what you wish had happened, or is that what REALLY happened?" there is a time and place for silliness. it's all part of the learning process...

I think that you're over-thinking this. He's getting the concept of opposites.

Tomorrow tel him "Hurry! Gotta get ready, please go put you shoes on your hands right away!"

Repeat as necessary.

This is normal and has nothing to do with truth and therefore what he says is not a lie. He is developing humor . Try laughing and saying something like, that's so silly. Shoes belong on your feet. Most of the time just laugh. He's trying to be funny. His humor will get better the older he gets and the better he understands words.

He is also learning about opposites when he calls you Daddy and Daddy Mommy. Again, laugh and say I'm Mommy. Or just ignore it. You know he knows who is who. He's just trying out the words and how they're related to people.

When he says he didn't do something and it's important kindly tell him you know he did. Talk with him about how sometimes it's OK to be funny but when it's about what he did or didn't do it's truth time.

You're right 4 1/2 yos don't have a clear understanding of truth and lies. They also don't have a clear understanding of language and how to use it. He will not grow up to be a liar. He will learn how to use language as you kindly teach him.

He's showing you he knows opposites! great !
Be sure to write some of this stuff down, it will be so cute when he's an adult and you are reminiscing.

If you react to it too strongly -- giving him a yucky dessert or whatever it was someone suggested half-jokingly (I hope), or telling him "you're lying" etc. -- it will make things worse. You'll be giving him extra attention for the behavior.And it's not really a big deal behavior. He's experimenting with language, not trying purposefully to lie to you; he KNOWS you know what he did or didn't do, he just wants to see you react when he says the opposite. Follow your own instinct. You said that if you push to much you're afraid it will turn into a battle, so don't let it. Ignore or if you like, spend a whole day doing your own opposites and laugh about it with him. This isn't a lying thing or a learning thing, other than learning about words and learning how to get a reaction from mom. Make the reaction a funny one and not a battle royal that only inflames his stubbornness.

When my son was going through this phase (which was not long ago) I just played into it. For him, it was definitely a game, and he was not having any issues with honesty.

So, when he called me Daddy, I would call him by his brother's name or his cousin's name. He thought it was a hoot!

Right now he's going through the "potty talk" phase. (I mistakenly let him be in the room with me when "How I Met Your Mother" was on. He still talks about the dog pooping on a baby.) Honestly, I'd rather be going through the "opposite" phase, but I know this one will pass.

I doubt it's anything to worry about. He's most likely just experimenting and enjoying the attention. I would try to have fun with it and not worry too much.

I really just think it is a phase, and I don't know about you, but 4 1/2 year-olds seem to love to argue and be controversial (lol)- I think it makes them feel "bigger"... He may have started this off to be funny, and your adversity to it, just might be an added bonus in his eyes. I most certainly do not think this will turn into something later- I still think it is purely a phase.

Now, how do you deal with it now? For one, instead of correcting him when he calls you Daddy, don't answer him-because, after all, you are not Daddy. Also, when he's talking about putting his shoes on his hands, just let him say that- at least he's getting his shoes on, some kids can be stinkers about doing the most easy task for control purposes... now, if it is a situation that he's lying for entertainment sake, just make it your job to know the truth- that way he'll learn that he can't trick mom, BUT at the same time he can still have his little temporary fun with his "opposite" time... speaking of fun, you really can make it a game- like, together try to come up with what would be the opposite animal to, say, an elephant... or what is the opposite of a side walk? As you go along point to a tree or something and ask him "Is that an un-tree I see there?" See, you can get in on the action, too:)

As for all weird or funny phases (and everything else for that matter) they need to be documented. Take some videos of this funny phase, and write down some memories of the most funny opposites he has come up with... Just know you will get him later on when he sees that he used to call you Daddy, etc:)

Oh, better yet, give him his most disliked food when it is time for dessert! LOL! No, that would be too cruel... but very funny- Two can play that game! LOL:)

Totally agree with the majority of the responses that you have gotten. Sounds like he is playing a game. Relax and play along with him. It may be a little annoying now but really you need to remember he is only going to be this age for a very short period of time and before you know it you will be really missing these silly/annoying little phases.

As far has him becoming a liar...I just don't really see that happening in this situation. Sounds like a great situation for a really serious tickle and maybe a short game of chase as he runs from the tickles.

Enjoy your children. Before we all know it we won't be near as cool anymore as we are right now.

I would ignore him and not respond when he calls you "Daddy"....if he asks you why you are not responding, just say "I am not Daddy!" Don't get into an argument with him.....calmly say that you will respond when he speaks correctly. Let him go on saying whatever until he realizes that you are not going to take the bait or respond unless he makes sense. Do not correct him....just say nothing and go on about your business.
Be patient.Eventually he will tire of the non-communication:-) It might take a while, so just be consistent.

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