I Need to Know How to Get Help for Troubled Teen

Updated on October 14, 2010
C.T. asks from Davison, MI
17 answers

Upon doing laundry and checking my 15 year olds pockets, I discovered a note that his friend wrote to him. It explains that she is troubled and needs help but no one will help her nor does anyone understand. She admits to cutting herself to relieve her pain. I for one cannot let this go. Who should I contact and should I inform my son that I am taking this very seriously and am reporting this.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.K.

answers from Detroit on

I think you should tell him what you found and that you feel you need to help. This I would want someone to do for me if it were my child that needed help!
Trish

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Lansing on

Definitely report this to the school, her parents or trusted teacher she may have. It doesn't matter how they get the information and they can keep it confidential. Don't mess around with a teenager screaming for help like this.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Detroit on

After explaining that you were not snooping, just keeping paper out of the washer, you could encourage your son to tell this girl she needs PROFESSIONAL help and to talk to her own Mom, or talk to a school counselor If she won't do that, maybe she would talk to you??? As the mom of three grown daughters...one who was cutting and I didn't know it for a long time....do whatever you can to get her some help.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.A.

answers from Saginaw on

Sooo many kids this age are going through this same thing! Take the note to the school and let them know you found it-Tell them to just tell the girl that they found it laying on the floor. You do not want her to think your son showed you, because that`s what it will turn into. I`ve done this a couple times. A few years ago.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Topeka on

First of all, yes, tell your son, you weren't "snooping"...you were simply doing laundry...let him know that you found it and are proud of him that one of his friends thinks enough of him to share this with him. Tell him that you cannot ignore the pain that his friend is in and that you need to talk with her parents and with the school about this. If you are uncomfortable approaching her parents yourself, go to the school and show them the note and have them contact the parents. This is not a situation that will "go away" or "fix itself"...I attended 6 funerals with my daughters during their high school years, of friends or acquaintences of theirs that committed suicide...I only wish that one of them had sent a cry for help to someone who would have taken it seriously and gotten the help for them!!!
Thank you for being so concerned.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Detroit on

I'd go to the school social worker or counselor unless you know the mother and can talk with her without seeming like a busybody. I agree - this is serious. What does your son think? Has he spoken to this kid? That's where it should start, definitely.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.V.

answers from Allentown on

I agree that something has to be done, but proceed with caution. Do you know this girl, her parents and/or her home life? Do you know if she is from an abusive household, alcholism, drug history? Is she getting counseling already? Can you talk to her? Not every parent will appreciate you approaching them with this kind of information. I think you should tell your son that you found this paper and that someone needs to know this girl needs help. What about contacting the school guidance counselor? Please don't mistake my cautionary tone for indifference; not every household/family is the same and I would hate to see good intentions backfire.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

Well, first of all...how do we know that her parents aren't the cause of her issues? I would honestly talk to the girl herself. Explain to your son that you weren't snooping, but were doing laundry. Ask him to please arrange for you and her to meet and let her know that you are there for her and are willing to help her however you can. HTH

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Detroit on

I would speak with your son and inform him that you (and your husband, if involved) have contacted the school guidance counselor, social worker and assistant principal of her high school regarding his friend's note... maybe he left the note in his pocket for you to find!
She is obviously in a lot of pain; she realizes that she needs help and has asked for help, but sadly, no one has been able to help her as of yet.
By contacting those school officials, by law, they will need to report it to Child Protective Services. (If you only report it to one of them, they may make the mistake of not reporting it properly... so let all three know via email of the situation!)
You will not be notified of the outcome by the school, due to HIPPA laws.
You can specifically request that your name be kept out of it.
School officials do take this very seriously and this young lady is seriously crying out for help... please do not sit back because you are afraid of what your son or someone else might think of you... too many other adults have obviously already failed this hurting young lady... please stand up and advocate for her!
You also have the option of not telling your son anything, as your report would be kept confidential. However, it would certainly affect his level of trust with you later when/if he finds out that you did report and did not tell him. Pray about it.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Mom. call the high school principal or head person in the guidance dept at your son’s school today and let them know about the note you found. I would ask your name not be given out to all parties if possible, just say you are a concerned Mom. I would also ask them what action they plan to take too and ask them to follow up with you. I would tell my son after I call guidance dept. and explain to him your great concern for this girl, Her note is a cry for help. If the school doesnt plan to do anything then call her parents today. I was involved in a similar thing I observed while driving home from work about 1 yrs ago. Just past the local high school I saw 3 high school age boys who I didnt know, beating up another boy who appeared to be a hs student too. THey had were hitting and kicking him in some brush in the heart of the day about 10 minutes after school got out but they were not on school grounds. We live in a suburb which has private security and then also called the high school to let them know what I witnessed after I had pulled over to the side of the road where they were fighting, 3 against one. The young men doing the roughing up told me " to move on" they said they, "were just messing around". I told them with my car window partially down that I was calling security and police and that they needed to "move on" I did not plan to and suddenly things broke up. On my cell I then called security and the high school asst Principal at school high school to tell what was happening. She wanted to know what the boys all looked like. The school was very happy to be told and said there "had been some problems with the group of 3 boys" she knew who they were when I described them they said they would likely call police. THey said the problem would be take care of it and called me bk later to greatly thank me. I told them I had to stop as a Mom and a parent even though I knew none of the boys. My child a young teen at the time and did not go to that school, but I did tell her what I did afterwards. Please get involved Mom, it could save a life. Hugs to you for your concern

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.A.

answers from Detroit on

By all means, please contact the school, whether you son likes it or not. This girl needs help fast.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

TEll your son how you found the note and that you will contact the guidance counselor. Ask about her, is she a good friend, an aquaintance, the best friend's girlfriend.
Call guidance and let them know and if you know the parents I would contact them too.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from New York on

Yes, Tell your son.Talk to her parents or the teachers or to the girl herself.This is serious and now its your responsibility to do something.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Detroit on

State of Michigan, Child Protective Services can get her help.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.J.

answers from Detroit on

you need to let your son know how serious this is and that you will him him help his friend . i would also call the school counsler and social worker.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son went out with a girl and urged her to tell her parents. They were grateful and took her for help right away. He did not continue to go out with her. That is a lot for a young person to handle to be supportive of that.I would suggest you let your son know so you can find out who this person is and forward the note, or call the parents yourself or call a hospital mental health clinic and ask them what to do.

1 mom found this helpful

S.Y.

answers from Sharon on

i would report it to the school... and i would also get ahold of ur sons friend and ask to have a number to contact her parents

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions