Infant Advice

I do agree that you can't spoil a baby enough at this age.

I was on maternity leave with both kids but still had internet access. I was a work-a-holic and couldn't separate myself from e-mail many times/day. My job defined me, and I wish I hadn't.

I used to put my son on my lap so I could use both hands to type messages. He loved it. I'd also bring his car seat into my office and rock it with my foot.
Some babies just need the comfort of hearing Mom's heartbeat and the things that are familiar. Both of my kids got really settled being in the car, not because of the motion, I'm convinced it was because I was driving ~1000 miles/week, and it was part of their experience in the womb.

Good luck! I hope you find some sleep and peace soon.

My second child was very much like that and he LOVED the Maya wrap I had. I wore him a lot through the first year and he would settle down with just having me right there.

It looks like there are a lot of good suggestions but remember having a baby does change things a lot, especially a work from home schedule and while it can be frustrating, it still is possible to work from home but adjustments need to be made. I started working from home when my first was born and even though he was a relatively easy baby, adjusting to working from home was a challenge for me. I needed to lower my expectations of how much actual work time I would have in a day and learned not to get as frustrated with my son because he needed me so much. After awhile we hired a PT sitter who was in the house with him a few days a week and she kept him occupied, which really helped me out. Good luck!

My advice is to get a sling or baby carrier so you can keep your baby close and happy while still getting your work done. You baby is still so new and little and NEEDS to be close to you. Try googling "the 4th trimester". Just try and enjoy this time with your new tiny baby as they get big so fast.

Have you tried baby-wearing? There are many slings, wraps, carriers out there. Just make sure you are using it safely.

I think that while it's frustrating, it pretty normal. Babies love that security of mom. Have you tried a sling, swaddling, a swing? A bouncy seat? Some have a little vibrating device that seems to calm them down. You can't spoil an infant though. Good luck!

Very normal and my advice is to keep holding him. I'm a firm believer in "attachment parenting" at this age. He's only a month old. It is impossible to spoil a baby this young. Hold him as much as he needs. Get a sling, or some sort of baby carrier so you can "wear" him. This will free up your hands so you can get some work done.

The more comfort, love and physical contact you give him now, the more truly independent he will be later on. They need a solid foundation to build their self-esteem on and giving him what he needs, when he needs it is the best way of building that foundation of security.

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BTW, just wanted to let you know that I agree 100% with Peg M. I never read the book, but I saw a Good Morning America segment years ago when my first was a newborn that detailed the same technique. I've used it for both of my babies and it usually works like a charm, as long as all of their other needs are seen to (clean diaper, full tummy, not too hot/cold etc...)

I suggest an ERGO baby carrier! (Depending on the size of your baby you may need the infant insert.....)

At 1 month old, he is too young to cry it out. HOLD HIM! As hard as it is to get anything done, babies need this security.

Maybe look into getting a young teen to come be a helper for a short while each day so you can work. I would have LOVED to be able to go HOLD a baby for a couple hours AND get paid (HEY, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR FREE!).

I would use a Baby Bjorn or try a pacifier with swaddling and placing him a boppy next to you (I did this with my kids when they were teeny tiny). Try little baby steps of separation. Put him down to go to the bathroom and take your time, then try something like opeing the mail, or running some laundry for a little longer time frame while not holding him, then move on to longer things gradually so he can learn to adjust to being by himself a bit. Bouncy chairs are great too, especially the ones that vibrate or play music. Both of my kids loved being swaddled with the bouncy chair on an then you can take it from room to room. Good luck and remember, if he is fed and dry he will be okay to cry a little bit while you get something done once in a while.

Check out the Moby Wrap. It's awesome!

Get Dr. Harvey Karp's book or video, The Happiest Baby on the Block. He explains that babies come into the world underdeveloped (so we can push those huge heads out before it becomes impossible), and they need the Fourth Trimester, 3 more months, of tender nurture to help them make the transition into the outside world.

Some young babies can be put in a crib to sleep, many can't. Dr. Karp describes 5 things a parent can do to calm their babies and help them rest:

1. Swaddling -- tightly, with the arms down
2. Side/stomach position -- while the back is safest for sleeping it is least effective for calming crying
3. Shushing -- loud, continuous white noise
4. Swinging -- rhythmic movement
5. Sucking -- the icing on the cake

These techniques work for ALMOST all babies, and your son's intense neediness will lessen around three months. I hope you won't expect to carry on your work life as if a baby shouldn't make a difference. Let yourself surrender into this amazing experience of mothering. It will pass so quickly, and you'll be happy you've given yourself and your son this precious time together.

Do not use a sling tpye carrier (where the baby is in a nursing/cradled position) as many babies have sufficated & the parent wearing the baby didn't know. A lot of them have been recalled for this reason.
A wrap is a very good choice & even better than an infant carrier. They wrap around you & the baby & tie in a knot. Make sure you put your baby on your chest & in a position that his head doesn't touch his chest to keep his airway open.

God bless!

Your baby spent 9 months listening to your heartbeat and feeling your warmth! It's very hard to come into this strange world and be laid down by yourself. You've gotten some wonderful advise already. I agree with trying some slings or wraps to keep him close and still have two free hands. Hang in there!

My daughter was the same way, she nursed 24 hours a day and would scream in pain (reflux baby) if she wasn't nursing, she would only sleep 5 minute periods without nursing and was J. a screamer, but do you know what, she was and is insanely smart and starting talking at 12 weeks, full blown sentences at 9 months and she learned tons of sign language in 2 weeks when she was arround 6 months old. They say babies with high needs are ussually quite smart (although they may say this make us moms with those high need kids feel better and not feel like jumping out a window...lol) All I can say is know that it will end, and that do whatever it takes to make your life easier, and don't listen to people arround who have those babies that give the term "sleeps like a baby" meaning. Know that its nothing you're doing, and know that even though you try and comfort them as quick a possible that he won't break if you need to walk away for a few minutes and gather yourself, and if you're feeling really depressed talk to someone and don't be embarassed, lack of sleep and independence will def. cause this. Congrats

Simply put it sounds like your son is a high needs child. What this means is that he will probably want to cling to you for quite sometime. How long that will be is going to be determined by your relationship with him. Go buy a good sling and where him. It will make the both of you a lot happier. I'm not going to tell you that this is going to be easy. It may also be a stage since he is a newborn he may just need extra 'womb' time and snuggling up to your chest is the best thing for him. Some may try to tell you to let him "cry it out", that can be the worst thing for him. I can't say how long this will last, but it will certainly wear on your patience sometimes but when it get's difficult take 5 mins for yourself and then go back when you have had a moment to collect your thoughts. It may just be a phase that will last a short time. But be encouraged that it won't last forever, but it may last a little while.

Sounds like you have a "High Need" baby on your hands! Congratulations! :-) My son was the same way, so I understand how frustrating it can be.

www.AskDrSears.com has some fantastic info & reading "Attachment Parenting" , "Night Time Parenting" and "The Fussy Baby Book" (all by Dr. Sears) was extraordinarily helpful!

In addition, my best, most sanity-saving piece of advice is to get yourself a couple of excellent, comfortable, versatile baby slings! I swear, if I didn't already love my THING-A-MA-SLINGs when I had my daughter, I sure as heck did after I had my son! He's almost 3 yrs old now & still gets carried around in it on a very regular basis. I could not live with out it! (I literally have them stashed all over my house & in my car so that I'm never without one! lol)

Hang in there! It gets easier. He just NEEDS you more than most babies need their mothers. Take it as a compliment as much as you can!

My little girl was similar. We bought a sleepywrap. You can go to sleepywrap.com to find out more. The thing was a God send. She loved it, was getting what she needed , and I was still able to tend to my older girl and get things done because your hands are free. Know that this won't be forever and that by holding him you aren't spoiling him, but giving him all the nurturing and love he needs. You might want to look up information on Kangaroo care as well. Best wishes.

baby bjorn or sling, it will at least give you your hands back but then your little one will still be close to you, enjoy this time, because it wont last long and then they wont want you to hold them!!!

I had a sling from dr sears that i loved. My son was the same way and it was a very very long time until he would let me put him down. I'd recommend it - www.drsears.com. Also know that many slings have warnings now so you must watch your child in it but this one has not been recalled.

Use a wrap during the day (my favorites are the sleepy wrap and the moby wrap). They are great for newborns. They are a little hot in the summer, but worth it nonetheless, especially if you have air conditioning, then it won't matter.

At night or naptime, swaddle your baby tightly. You can rock him to sleep, then transfer him to his crib, swing, or bouncer, whichever works. The swaddle will keep his arms and legs from moving around while you transfer him, so that he still feels like he's being held.

Good luck!