Infant Sleep Issues- How to Transition Baby Without Waking or Crying

Updated on July 17, 2010
S.H. asks from San Jose, CA
12 answers

My 6-month old has been taking his daytime naps in an infant swing, but will soon be outgrowing this. Recently he seemed to buck and cry when we put him in the swing, so we went a week without using it. We tried rocking him down and waiting to transition him to either his crib or our bed, but no matter how much time passed, he would wake up crying and have difficulty falling back asleep unless I nursed him down and stayed with him. For this one week, he wound up taking most of his naps on my husband or I in the rocker recliner. He did not sleep very well though. We even tried one day of putting him in his crib while awake before nap times, but that was disastrous. Lots of tears, no sleep. We finally reverted back to using the swing the other day and he is so much happier and well-rested. But, we know that the swing cannot last forever! Our main question is how to rock him down and then transition him without the waking/crying? By the way, at night, he bed-shares with us and I usually nurse him down side-lying while patting his back and singing to him.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I always put my boys to bed awake and let them go to sleep on their own. If they did fuss I would simply wait 5 minutes and than I would go in and calm them if they had not managed to calm themselves. If they started fussing again after I left, I would wait anther 5, I never had to go in more than once, but I started at 1 month so I never had to "sleep train" since they had never learned bad habits. Starting with a 6 month old will take a little more time, and patience, but it is well worth it in the end when he has good sleep habits and can calm himself should he wake at night.

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S.R.

answers from Des Moines on

Our son had to sleep in his swing for the first 5 months of his life (now 11 months) because of acid reflux and before he learned to crawl he would sleep in our bed for naps. Once he outgrew his swing, he was more comfortable in his crib. We would let him play in there during the day to get used to it. I would hang out in his room and give him books. We still do this today. He doesn't go crazy in his crib because we want him to know its for sleeping so I play meditation music when he's in there. We also play his "Sleep Sheep" (wonderful gift) at night and the meditation CD and I leave it on repeat.

I would say just keep at it and try to let him know it's a safe place. Good luck!!!

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J.P.

answers from Jackson on

Our daughter has trouble moving from us holding her to her bassinet. I believe a lot of her fussing after we lay her down is the change in temperature. Try a quilted, or flannel sheet to sleep on. Good luck

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A.S.

answers from Sacramento on

My first born (son) had a really hard time sleeping, my daughters are the ones who would reach for their crib. I always nursed them all, rocking or not, and they usually fell asleep nursing before I put them down. The girls could be layed down awake after nursing, unless they were teething, but I spent so much of my time putting my son down (then he took such short naps!)

With my son, I had to come up with a complex series of movements to transfer him because he would always wake up crying when I layed him down. I tried walking him back to sleep, but he was so big I always ended up exhausted before he fell into a deep sleep. What worked? Swaddling worked (not just for newborns) with a really big, stretchy blanket. When he was asleep, I'd hold him close, leaning way down (moving very slowly) like some other moms have said, then I'd hold his chest down releasing pressure slowly. I'd hold my hand just over his chest for a moment, slowly bringing my arm down. I'd take a step or 2, then pause, a couple of steps, then pause, until I was out of the room. If I left too fast, somehow he could feel it & I'd have to start all over again. I also swear that my thoughts made a difference. I could always leave sooner if I was thinking about doing whatever I needed to do to get him to sleep. Whenever I was thinking, "Hurry up! Mama needs to ____!" that's when he would wake up crying. I also had a window of time to transfer him. If I held him too long, he wouldn't stay asleep when I tried moving him to his bed.

My son grew very large, very fast. We moved him out of the crib onto the crib mattress on the floor shortly after he turned one year because the easiest way to get him to nap was to nurse side-lying & then sneak very slooowwly away.

What worked with the girls? I hummed the same lullaby every time I wanted them to sleep. (And I still do, the little one is 1 1/2 yrs.) I also paid attention to what they liked & tried using that item for a comfort item, giving it to them before each sleep. (One person I heard about used a pillowcase, so if they left the comfort item anywhere, they could always get another pillowcase.) My oldest still loves his bear blanket at 6 y.o. My youngest prefers a playsilk. I've been calling it Happy Nappy Time with my youngest. When she's teething & clinging to me, I whisper that she needs to sleep & I will come back to get her when she wakes up. Somehow that helps her release from me & she'll sleep. (There's clove oil to rub on her gums for teething that helps also.) When she's fussed about laying down, sometimes she's been soothed just by standing by the crib patting her back.

My sister figured out her first born needed to sleep upright, so she layed him in a 2nd infant car seat with the straps taken off that was sitting in his crib. Then she figured out that he wanted it really dark in his room. I know you'll figure out what works for your kiddo.

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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

I nurse my baby to sleep at night the same way; however, I do the same for his naps. If you wait a few minutes after he falls asleep, you can easily "de-latch" yourself - sometimes it takes longer than others, but never longer than 10 minutes. During the day, I like to position a book within arms reach so that I can read while waiting for him to either unlatch or be deep enough in sleep so that I can gently pull away from him. Also, oftentimes he will wake up after about an hour/hour and a half, and I just slide right in next to him and nurse him back to sleep.

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M.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I had the very same issue so I let him sleep in whatever he felt comfortable iin falling asleep in for awhile: jog stroller, swing, regular stroller and car seat that comes out and I put that in his room. Then later I learned to make sure he was only asleep 10 mins max in my arms before tranisitioning to bed/cradle. Then I would lean way over w/him to lay him down so he didn't feel like he was falling. It gets better. Hang in there.

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K.W.

answers from Stockton on

It sounds like he's gotten used to rocking or some sort of movement while he sleeps. When my first son was born we used a vibrator deal that came with the pack and play that we used. It went under the mattress and gave a little sooth vibration which helped him sleep. I'm not sure where you could find one without having to buy the pack and play...but maybe try something like that simulate the rocking but without having to actually rock him.
It will take a while to get him "UN" used to the rocking, but it can be done.

M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there-
I have found the best way to transition is still going to be tough on you and you little one but it will work. Since he bed shares and nurses at night to fall asleep that's what he is going to be used to and if you want him to not need that at nap time you'll need to break the habit. What I found works best is a dark, quiet room, a smooth rocker and a bottle.......once he is almost done nursing the bottle slip a pacifier into it's place and rock for a few more minutes in case he stirs a bit after you slip the bottle out and then quickly and gently move him into his crib. He may cry and he may go napless for a few days but you should rest assured that he has a full belly, dry diaper, is safe and in no pain. He'll tire himself out and best of all, learn to self soothe. Good luck!

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H.P.

answers from Sacramento on

I would suggest that you read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. He does advocate cry it out, which you may not be comfortable with, but even if you do not choose to use that as an option he has a lot of other good advice for helping your LO sleep. He'd say that you really need to break the rocking to sleep habit unless you want to continue to do it, perhaps for quite a bit longer!

If you can stomach it, then putting him down awake and letting him cry would probably be the quickest way to break him of his swing habit. It'll mean a day or a few days of no naps (so be prepared to go to bed an hour or so earlier if he doesn't sleep!) but he will get over it. Dr. Weissbluth recommends putting your LO down and leaving him alone for up to one hour for naps, even if he cries the whole time. Some parents feel CIO is too cruel and can't do it, and some claim that it makes children clingy and poorly behaved, but we used it and despite it being very difficult to hear my baby crying and screaming it worked for us. She sleeps amazingly well, loves being in her crib, and is a happy, well adjusted 19 month old.

Good luck to you!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Babies have to be taught to sleep. They don't automatically know how. This means you have to learn as much as you can about infant sleep. The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears and The Baby Whisperer have great info about baby sleep. The No-cry Sleep Solution also has great info. I was able to glean a lot of all 3 of these to develop a sleep routine that worked for my family.

I started at around 6 months with my son. I literally did and said the same things every nap and nighttime. this is how baby learns what to expect and what is expected. I did this along with other tips and tricks I learned in the books. It really helps to understand how baby sleep works. It took about 6 weeks for my son to start sleeping soundly thru the night. We also exclusively nursed as well.

One trick that I used to get them down was once we nursed and he was asleep, i would take baby off and gently put my finger under his chin to keep his mouth closed (No-cry sleep solution trick) then holding him close I would lay him down while staying very close to him so he didn't get that falling feeling. I was practically in the crib lol but it worked.

I never followed the rules of putting them down drowsy, blah, blah. I either nursed or held my babies till they were asleep then put them down and they both learned to sleep thru the night and get back to sleep if they woke.

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello S., Our granddaughter was the same way so we did something I did with my own children and it works.
When we know its time for a nap we hold and walk or stand and rock the little one and then we have this huge quilt that we lie her on and its like a big nest. I think its becasue it smells like Nana for the one here and she will rest for an hour or more at atime. Now that she is 14 months she goes and drags out the quilt from my bed and wants a pile of pillows as well .
Becasue her parents never bothered to have her nap or sleep any place but withthem she refuses to sleep in her crib at all and they are having some trouble with that since dads work hours have changed and he needs to sleep in the day. If she is in the bed she assumes she is to be nursed if she needs to or not. So for your own sake please get the little one used to napping in the crib at least for naps.
By the way the benifit of having our own children sleep withus, was they felt comfortable coming and sitting on the bed at any time of the night to talk about what ever was on thier hearts and minds. My husband said he was so glad he learned to sleep in pj's becasue one daughter brought her friends and cousins in after a grouop date and wanted to talk! So it does have its pro and cons ha ha.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

He is going to wake, he is no longer a newborn. Let me put it this way, if you fell asleep in the car and your hubby moved you, would you wake up?

Around 4 months it is usually time to start teaching them how to put themselves to sleep. So, what you do is nurse/rock to almost asleep, then put in crib. He will scream. So you nurse/rock till almost asleep, and try again, and again, and again, until he finally rolls over when you put him in the crib. It takes some work, but trust me, it is well worth it. My son (7 months) now asks to go into his crib, and as soon as I put him in there, he rolls over and settles in with his transition object.

it is going to be painful and time consuming, but it shouldn't take that long, anywhere from a few days to a few weeks depending on the baby.

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