Labor

Your second child will be easier (usually)than the first one. You should get a Doula to help you with all the comfort measures we do:) You should also start preparing your mind for the event. Stop focusing on the pain and think about how strong you are:)Pain has a role in labor and birth and it is necessary for the process to unfold on it's own. Did you have a natural birth with your first? Where are you located? Do you have a Midwife or a Doctor? There is a great book called Birthing for Within by Pam Englan, you should check it out.
Hope it helps,
Venus

G.,

I've had c-sections so I can't tell you the answer to your question but originally I was going to go completely naturally...no drugs. I looked into holistic childbirth and have seen AMAZING videos of women delivering without any intervention and they were very calm during it. I still worked with a holistic instructor for all three of my children and my doctors have all said they have never seen anyone heal from a c-section as well and as quickly as I have with minimal scar tissue. My children have all been very happy children despite the very stressful pregnancies I had.

I would check with your doctor's office. Both of mine were women I was referred to by my doctors' offices back home and where we are now.

Best of luck!

Hugs,
L.

Hi G.,

I am the mother two girls, one 9 and one 4. I was just as terrified as you! My oldest was 5 1/2 when I had my second. I can tell you it hurts, BUT, with my second I didn't tear, and I was only in hard labor a few hours. I got to the hospital at 9:30 pm and she was born just nine minutes past midnight, a whopping 8 pounds 5 ounces, 13 3/4 inch head! The best advice that I was given was to relax through the contractions and let your body do the work. The nurse told me that if I did not relax, I would be in labor much longer. At 10:30 pm, her words were, "You could have this baby around 4 or 5, but if you relax, she'll be here in a couple hours." And it worked! And I felt GREAT the next day, bouncing around, sitting cross-legged on that hospital bed with only mild swelling and a little soreness. She was my angel that night! Don't be scared that it's been awhile, you were there once before, and YOU hold the power! We women are miraculous creatures! Good luck, and I'll say a prayer for you!:)

~K.

Hi G.,
Are you currently in any labor-education classes? If not, I would really encourage you to start. Educating ourselves about what exactly happens during labor can empower us and take some fear away. I delivered naturally and prepared by taking Bradley Birth classes (you can find them online). My mantra is, "If we were going to run a marathon in 9 months, we'd be preparing our bodies, minds and souls right now, so why not take the same approach for birth?" Women are made to deliver babies, and with the right support and education it can be an empowering experience. Yes, there is pain but it is not unmanageable with the proper knowledge, a supportive birth partner and a skilled Midwife or doctor..(I really do suggest a Certified Nurse Midwife). You and your baby deserve support and real information, not a casual commentary on one part of birth. And by the way, my pain was NOT terrible and was made better by the knowledge that it was leading to my baby being born..I wasn't ill, I was giving birth! In short, don't focus on the pain---prepare yourself for the powerful woman you can be during birth. My best wishes to you for a wonderful birth and a healthy baby.
H.

Mine was tough because I didn't have any break from contractions, they rolled back to back. But, it wasn't bad...and the good thing...it was over much faster than the first!!
You'll do fine. I've heard of women who say they hardly felt it. I don't think it will ever be like that but I found my second went smoother. Although very fast and everything was rushed with no epidural, I found it much better than my first.

It's like we have a built in mechanism to tolerate the pain and then minutes afterward forget it was so hard to get through and make us want to have more kids.

Good luck!! You'll do great!!
N.

And PS: The first time around the nurse was very rude in the childbirth classes talking about how women who are screaming are crazy and annoying etc, with my second the midwife was so calm and soothing and she told me to yell and scream if I needed too. Remember I had one contraction that lasted for over an hr, with no break. It actually gave me relief and I felt like I was expelling some of my pain. I wasn't a raving lunatic screaming at the top of my lungs but it helped me.

I'm with you sister, you'll do fine trust me. My daughter was nine when my son was born, he's now two. I went throught 40 hours of back labor with my daughter. My son was only 16 hours labor. I think it's common for the labor time to shorten, so be aware of that possibility. I'm due with my next in July and we'll see what that brings. Anyway every labor and delivery is different, but if you handled it once, you can do it again. You know how wonderful the reward of you hard work will be. I used lamaze for my daughter, and the bradley method for my son, i like the lamaze better and found myself reverting to what I had learned 10 years ago. Everyone's pain tolerance is different so nobody can tell you wether it will be more or less painful, I took comfort in the fact I knew at some point it would end. I think I was much less anxious, knowing exactly what was coming. Trust your body, it knows what it's doing, your a woman, you were designed for this!!
I wish you the absolute best and a quick and easy delivery.
Enjoy your new little blessing, and just think about seeing that sweet little face.

hi G.! congratulations on your upcoming birth!

listen, here is my exp w second birth; i did natural delivery in a birthing pool w both my kids so i had very little pain anyway. the truth is that hospital births are much more painful, because of the aggressive drugs they give and because of the anxiety of the hospital setting; being in a hospital makes you scared and feel like you're sick, so you feel worse.

there are three great books i would really reccommend to you; FIRST and most important would be Erica Lyon's Big Book Of Birth, it's all about pain. you can get it on Amaazon; she is the director of the Realbirth education center in Manhattan; if there's any way you can take a seminar w her on getting ready i would really reccommend it.

secondly if you have time, a more journalistic book about labor is called Pushed by Jennifer something, can't remember it right now, but you can put that in on amazon and it will come right up. and the last book, if you really want to freak yourself out about how dangerous and messed up the medicalized birth scene is in the US, read Born In The USA; Fixing A Broken Maternity System.

but Erica's book is really fantastic and will help you get ready. if there's any way you can consider a natural birth with and experienced midwife, i would urge you to do so. if you want information on my midwife that i went to, email me directly at ____@____.com or send me a message here. i had 6 hours of labor, pushed for 14 minutes both times, and had no tearing, no nothing; i nursed immediately and was running around ten minutes later. it is the best, safest, most painless way.

let's be real; there IS PAIN IN CHILDBIRTH. but our bodies were set up to do this and we have our own pain management mechanisms if we let our bodies do thier jobs. this doesn't mean you go into a medical birth with no pain meds and think it's no big deal; it entails preparation and training like running a marathon. if you want to talk more get in touch with me.

good luck!
J.

Hi G.!
There's no way to know exactly what your second birth will be like, so one of the best gifts you can give yourself right now is to allow yourself to accept your birth as it will happen and not try to predit. You're not nuts at all, it's been a while since you've been through labor and like most women, I'm sure you only remember bits and pieces of it!
You've gotten a lot of good advice so far. I'll top it off with saying the more relaxed you are, the less painful your contractions will be. Your body has a lot of work to do to bring your baby out, and when you are scared or stressed out and tighten up, you are fighting the process and that is what makes the pain stronger. When you relax and allow your body to go through the process it needs to go through it will go much more smoothly and with a lot less pain.
Ask around where you are giving birth what your options are. The less interventions the better, meaning labor at home as long as you can, the least amount of internal exams, least amount of fetal heart monitering, the bettter- this is all of course assuming you are having a safe healthy labor and are not in NEED of emergency interventions. Once interventions start they often snowball and add a lot of stress and therefore complications to a labor.
Some easy things you can do to keep things going smoothly are: Stay very hydrated- dehydration can lead to a very choppy labor with irregular contractions and vomiting- no fun. Keep walking and moving, sitting on a birthing ball, and even better, sitting on the toilet. Sitting on the toilet in labor is perfect. It's great for opening your bone structure, working with gravity, and psychologically it allows you to relax "down there" and let go. Don't worry, you're not going to have your baby in the toilet- when you feel pressure and pushy feelings, get up! Or just visit the pot here and there throughout your labor.
I know someone mentioned getting a Doula, which I highly recommend. I am a Doula but I do not attend births anymore as the on-call life doesn't work for me. I do however provide labor prep counseling and postpartum care. Feel free to contact me if you every want to work together on that level.
Take care end enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

My first labor was not bad at all about 14 hours. I received any drugs they would give me, that would not hurt me or the baby. Don't try to be a hero, just do what you need to do. If its more pain meds then take them. I have not had baby two yet, as my first is only 4 months old. I would say that the after birth was more painful then the birth itself. I did not feel much, but there is a lot of pushing that the doctor does, not you. Have a lot of support there, and when you go home to recover, that is more important then the labor it self. You will have no problem at all. I have a very low tolerance for pain, and I was fine. If they give you something to sleep, take it. You may not, but it relaxes you. Best of luck. Alison

I don't know if the pain is any different but for me it went much faster. As long as the baby is in the right position and everything is otherwise "normal" your birth should be considerable quicker the second time.

I have 3 children. The first labor was the hardest and the second one was the easiest and I heard that from a lot of other moms. My first one took 8 hours after being induced and the second one only took 2 hours from start to finish. I was in the hospital for only 34 minutes before she was born. Try not to be scared. Remember you can always do pain medication if needed.

G.,

First thing is don't worry. Yes, there is pain and there are different ways to deal with it. I had two children and had back labor with both and ended up having epidurals with both. All my contractions and pain were in my lower back, I never felt "normal" contractions in the front. However, I took a pregnant yoga class and I have to tell you, it really did help me work through the pain before the epidural. I bought a pregnancy yoga tape that I used during my second pregnancy (Baby and Mom Pre-Natal Yoga). I also have a friend who tried acupuncture (not for everyone, but she swears by it). I wish you all the best of luck. And just think, you will have lots of help after the baby is born by your 9 year old.

Hi G.
I have 3 children -- all by c-section. My oldest is 10 right now and my middle is 8 and my little one is 3. I think for me it was easier each time -- even the last time. From what I have heard from mother's who did v**. births, the babies came quicker each time and things went easier. Any way you give birth, it will all be forgotten after your little one is in your arms. Enjoy every minute and keep your mind of happy thoughts!

Congrats. I would like to say that I have two children also. I think that the pain was the same for both chid births. My fisrt I had the epidural and the second time around it happened so fast by the time I got to the hopital I had to do it natural. It was very painful. If I had time I would of gotten the epidural the second time around also. I never found any of those things that they teach you about breathing through the pain useful. My advice is if you can not handle the pain it is okay to get an epidural for the pain. Good luck on you new edition.

well each person is different. i had my youngest daughter who is now 9. between her sister and my youngest there is a 7 1/2 year spand. all pain is different i did experience pain some good some not so good. you have to take it whatever way it comes at you. just remember its the joy of bringing another baby into the world. good luck with you new born when he or she comes.

M. - Sayreville, NJ

Dear G.,
Try to find a Lamaze teacher who can teach you to relax while your uterine muscles are working. I was one for many years, and when I was in labor with my third child, the nursing staff asked if I could help a first time mother who was screaming. I was able to get her to relax the rest of her body while she was still in stage one labor, same as me. She was able to do that and her screaming stopped, as did the worst pain. I progressed faster than she, so do not know how she fared later. One thing that will make your second birthing easier is that you transition period will not be 45 to 60 minutes, but only 5 or 10, if that, since your birth canal has already been stretched.
M. T

I understand your fears! I have a 12 year old daughter and just gave birth to my new little girl in October. People thought I was nuts starting all over again, but it was definitely worth it! Giving birth was no worse than the first time around, you just have a better idea of what to expect...and it takes a little longer to shed the pounds.LOL(; The best part about it is that you have a helper, your 9 year old will play a big part in helping take care of your new little one...trust me, mine has and I don't know what I would've done without her.

Hi G.! Congratulations! I was worried too. I was induced. Given pitosin (sp?) at 11am. More pit at 5:30pm (epidural around noon) because the doctor asked them to up it at that time to get the ball rolling faster and he was coming to check on me at 6:30. The baby was coming already. He told me to push at 6:35 and she was born at 6:38. An hour later I was eating and moving around like crazy. No one could believe it. DEFINITELY not like the first time. First time was a little harder especially because my daughter was 8 pds 9 oz. Second baby girl was 7 pds 5 oz :o) Good luck!!!! I've heard this same thing from a few of my friends when having their second! S.

G.:

I have always been told that there is a reason we forget the pain LOL! Totally understand where you are coming from, my 1st & 2nd are 5yrs apart and I started freaking out about 3mos before due date.
Pain is not so bad, your body and mind have been through this before. Relax, it will all go smoothly.

Hey there, relax! You know what everyone says, the second one is MUCH easier! My 2nd baby popped out and I hardly felt it at all...but my first tortured me for quite a while. The pain of labor is not fun, but it goes away immediately after the birth of the baby, and then we all forget how bad it was once we are holding that adorable little one. It's OK to be scared, but try not to dwell on the pain aspect so much as the end result. Besides, you can get an epidural and really have a practically pain-free experience. Don't be afraid to use the pain management medicine if you need it! lots of luck, and I know everything will be just fine.

I am pregnant with my second child now, but I had an epidural with my first and I felt no pain at all. In fact, the only time I did feel pain was after giving birth...when the doctor had to push on my uterus to get all of the afterbirth out. That hurt. Other than that, I really had a comfortable birth, and I was pushing for 2 hours.

It still hurts!
My daughter was 9 when I had my second and I was told that it is like your first because your body goes back to the way it was after that many years. I ended up with a c-section (that hurt too!) but in the end yuou end up with a wonderful new little person so it is all worth it.
Good luck.

I gave birth w/out an epidural, and I say... get the drugs! If you're the type of person who can't really handle pain, definitely go for the epidural. I've compared labors and al of my friends who didn't have drugs thought it was the most god awful feeling in the world, and still remember the pain. All the ones who did have the shot said labor wasn't all that bad... GO FIGURE!

One thing to think about w/the second is afterwards you will have cramps that you most likely didn't experience w/the first. If I remember the explanation correctly... since this is your uteruses second time being stretched to the extremes, it is no long as tight so it takes more contracting to get it back into place.

Good luck w/the new baby, and don't worry about the pain!

Oh Sweetie you'll be just fine. Most likely there will be some pain but don't be a martyr if you need something for pain take it. Most important is that you stay active and watch your weight, this I'm sure you know. But in fact it makes labor easier. Get some instructions on relaxation during labor, get into some classes if your not already. I gave birth to 3 and saw 2 grandkids being born.They were all different. My youngest daughter is very petite & popped those kids out within 2 hours. My middle girl was heavy & had a very hard time. I wish you the best whatever the case and know that after all, it is a blessed event and you'll dismiss whatever pain you have soon afterwards.

I gave birth naturally with my second child, no drugs. It was the most painful thing I've ever felt but the most exhilerating after my daughter was born. Our bodies are equipped to deal with the pain and I'm told that chemicals/hormones are released to help out. Also afterward, the baby is so alert and happy and ready to breastfeed as opposed to babies who have drugs in their systems from epidurals. You can do it, don't be nervous, just go with the flow and make sure you have someone supportive with you in the delivery room.
Good luck.
R.

I just gave birth 1-8-08, second daughter. I was ok 'til they broke my water and I went from 4 cm to 10 in an hour while they were putting the epidural in I felt the urge to push, but Dr's not ready so epidural got in and the awful unmanageable for me pain was gone. When I pushed her out moments later I felt nothing, was relaxed, happy & relieved she was healthy. The time I was hurting was bad and I was swearing never again get pregnant but I really did forget the intensity immediately. If I do again either get epidural sooner or push when I feel it. Good luck!

I'll be honest with you.
It hurts like hell!!
I had my first son with the aid of an epidual and 15 months later his little sister was born.
She came so fast there was no time to administer the epidral. I had her naturally and it was incredibly painful. My knees buckled during the contractions and I actually fell down in the hospital hallway unable to walk in the direction of the room I was bring taken to.
The only comfort came when they poured iodine to cleanse the area as her head was coming out. Ah!! That felt so good. I thought it was water and asked them to do it again.
If my first birth experience had been natural I would only have one child.
The good news is it was a quick delivery.
I only pushed about three times and the whole ordeal was over in about 30 minutes.
Just when you think it's over though...you have to deliver the afterbirth which is about the same size as the child... so not cool.
If you have an option, get the epidural.

Hey dont be scared, I didnt think it was that bad. My second daughter was so ready to come out. As soon as they broke my water out she came. I had both my girls naturally with no pain meds. I was more worried about getting a migraine

TRUST YOUR BODY! Thats the best advice I can give. The pain hurts, yeah. But its manageable. I dont like epidurals and think they do more harm than good. I believe natural birth is the way to go. Its the best for the baby, and for the Mom. You can do it. Surround yourself with women who have had positive natural birth experiences. Try taking a natural birthing class. One that focuses on pain management and the benefits to going natural. Some women will say "Dont be a hero! You dont have to be super Mom" But I believe it doesnt have anything to do with having to prove anything to anyone. Its all a matter of choosing the best thing for your baby and being drug free is whats best! Look into ways to ease your pain. Consider hiring a doula...they are tremendously helpful! They can be expensive, but it isnt uncommon to find one who needs her certification and is doing births for free, or at a discounted rate. One contraction at a time. DO NOT lay on your back...get upright and stay moving. Whether you are walking, rocking, bouncing, swaying, etc... Have a birthing ball available. Rock your hips to bring your baby down into your pelvis. Here are some great books I've bought and loved about natural birth and how to have empowering beautiful experiences. Childbirth without fear!

http://www.amazon.com/Birthing-Within-Extra-Ordinary-Chil...
http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Without-Violence-Revolutional...
http://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Birth-Choices-Decisions-Atte...
http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Book-Everything-Satisfying-Pa...

See if your local library has them, or buy them on amazon or ebay for cheap. You can always resell them once you've read them. That last book is probably the easiest to read and covers a bit of everything. They are all great though! Your greatest weapon is educating yourself about the normal birth process and the best ways to work through it. Birth is not an illness and doesnt need to be so medicalized! Its a normal, natural event and deserves to be honored as such. Your body was designed to do this and you can! If you want to talk further, please send me a message! I'd be more than happy to help! Good luck. You are in for an incredible journey...enjoy every second and may your birth be a peaceful one!

*EDITED* One more book I thought of thats a MUST read is:
http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Womans-Guide-Better-Birth/...
And here is a link from the author's website that shares more in depth about what the book covers:
http://hencigoer.com/betterbirth/

Also, a few women on here have talked about how great the epidural was. Let me say from personal experience, that when you leave labor alone, you most often dont need an epidural. One Mom was right when she said that one intervention leads to the next and most interventions leave labor unbearable where an epidural may be needed. Dont let them induce you, break your water, give cervadil; and try to minimize the electronic fetal monitoring. Dont let them scare you into interventions. Thats why its so important to have a doula present so she can help make sure your rights are protected. Exercise your right to informed consent and informed refusal. I had an epidural with my first 2 and had a natural birth with my 3rd. Night and day...My labor was smooth and easy with my last, as was my recovery. I felt my body do what it needed to and it was very tolerable. My first 2 were filled with interventions and I had an epidural. Sure, it numbed me. But my recovery was long, my babies came out groggy and wouldnt nurse. It was tragic. Never, ever gain will I let them drug myself and my baby like that again. Just thought you might like to hear the "other side of the fence."

And the author of "Pushed" (as recommended by another Mom) is Jennifer Block. You can find it here:
http://www.amazon.com/Pushed-Painful-Childbirth-Modern-Ma...

The second time around is often easier, but not always. Every labor and delivery is different, you really can't go by what someone else has experienced. Do your best to get/stay in shape, don't gain tons of weight, and keep a positve attitude. People who expect the worst usually get it. Happy Labor Day! Congratulations on your next great adventure!

It's birth so you know there will be pain. If you're getting pain medicine, you won't feel that much. i had a c-section with my second child. They give you anesthesia only from the chest down so that you are awake. (that's the only way they usually do it.) I found that the thing that was most painful was the gas build-up in the abdomen area from thee incision. Make sure you go to the bathroom at least 24hours after birth or the gas pains can really build up. The incision didn't hurt that much. (I prefered stitches to the staples that I had during the second c-section). The staples for me kept snagging on my undergarments and caused a pinching sensation. If you can nurse, do that because it helps reduce the bloating. Other than that, enjoy your pregnancy and new baby.

You are so funny. I was the same way with the second two births, even though they followed very close behind: kids aged 5, almost 4, and 1.5 years. I gave birth without drugs, the last two were home births. I also was terrified at the notion of labor. What I can say to help you, I hope, is that the outcome of the birth is what you can look forward to: a healthy baby, a healthy delivery parts 1, 2, and 3, and latching on, etc.

I read somewhere that holding an ice cube in your hand, taking notice of the sensations your body is telling you about, and fully accepting that the "pain" will be over, is a way to simulate labor.

I wish you the best of luck, everything will be fine.

C. R.