Mom Wants to Terminate Pregnancy.

MC L,

Medi-cal is a difficult thing to deal with. When I applied they took way too long to accept/decline my application. I tried twice. Both times they gave me low quality service. They had "better things to do". The best thing for your relative to do is contact medi-cal every day. Get on their case and let them know how important it is to get an answer asap. Really push for them to make her a priority.

On the abortion topic, this little life has a right to live. Even if your relative does not want the baby someone else does. Please help show her that.

As a follow-up to Angi's comment, this is a controversial topic, so it's a given that pro-life responses are going to be received. In addition, I'm wondering if it is really Medi-Cal advice MC L is looking for. I'm confused because who doesn't know that there are clinics, Planned Parenthood, etc., that will perform free abortions? A woman does not need insurance or Medi-Cal to obtain one.

As a woman opposed to killing the unborn, could you please, MC L, ask your relative to reconsider her decision. This beautiful, innocent life should not die merely because of inconvenience. There so many wonderful couples waiting to adopt children. She can find help here:

www.pregnancyresourcecenter.com

Thank you so much.

I want to support her knowing herself well enough and being responsible enough to know where her limits are. I would go talk to Planned Parenthood right away since they can give her counseling around what her choices are to help ease her mind. Unfortunately, the only advice I have for MediCal is to call and explain the situation or better yet, talk to a social worker in person about the situation, sometimes they can help if they feel so inclined, but it depends on the county and how many cases they have that they are dealing with. The system is probably pretty taxed right now...

You are such a great friend to support her during what I imagine is a very difficult time. Just to throw something out there as a thought for preventing future pregnancies, I had a tubal ligation paid for by MediCal. I don't know if your friend is ready for something like that once she is past this, but it is an option. I found it freed up a lot of worry and stress to know pregnancy wasn't an option any more.

I hope it all works out well for her.

Go to Planned Parenthood. In many cases, they can provide a whole range of services for free or very low cost. The providers are caring, supportive people and they're very good with follow-up appointments etc. I helped a friend through this recently and I was really pleasantly surprised at the dignity and respect with which she was treated there. I'd have expected people to be treated like numbers in a free clinic, but that wasn't the case at all. Good luck to your relative; sounds like she could use all the support she can get with all the stress in her life!

I am so sorry that your friend has to deal with these kinds of problems.

I completely understand her worries about finances and being overwhelmed.

I hope she made the abortion appt. being completely sure about her decision. If she is terminating only because of finances, health insurance, etc. I feel she should not do it.
If she is internally absolutely sure that she does not want this baby then she should follow her gut. It's her decision. I for my part would involve my entire family and ask for help making this decision. her husband, their parents, siblings, even her kids will understand that they need to take on new responsibilities if they all decide to have this baby. Help is sometimes all it takes but it is hard to reach out!!!! Especially with something like this.
If there is any doubt in her mind or in her husband's mind, she should not terminate her pregnancy. With doubt there may be problems afterward.
Has she reached out to get councelling. Does she belong to a church?
Does she live here in the area?

I have a great network of mothers around me and they would help me if I were to struggle with a decision like this.

I am sure you cannot explain all of her circumstances on this forum but this cannot be it. Can she live on a budget, can they live on the husband's salary? Can she work in a lower class job? Cashier etc. At least until the baby comes. If she is not showing yet she can probably still get a new job.

I don't know but this cannot be it. There is help is out there and I do not know if all possibilities have been exhausted.

I'll send you a private message w/ my phone number. Maybe I can help in some way!

J.

She should contact Planned Parenthood. I think they'd be a tremendous resource for her in this situation.

A lot of good advice already. My only question is to ask if she has considered adoption. Of course this is a totally personal situation and decision, but as a mom who is growing my family solely through adoption, I always hope that alternatives are at least considered.

Dear MC L

Please check this website out:

http://www.rotacarebayarea.org/clinic.html

It's a FREE Clinic open to all.

Terminating a life is something that will follow you forever...especially if you are already a Mother.

Money is tight right now for just about every family, so your relative is not alone. There are free clinics and organizations that will help.

In addition, there are couples that would adopt the baby, and help with expenses throughout the pregnancy. (See adoption services and or attorneys specializing in adoption)...Though I doubt once the baby is here, your relative would want to give him/her up.

There are many alternatives other then death to an innocent child who was conceived at a difficult time. Please understand this is not a "guilt trip" attempt...this is just choosing Life or Death for someone who doesn't have a choice.

Blessings.......

Hi,

I would encourage her to really think about this decision and how it will effect her in the long run. If she is 100% ok with aborting, then you can't really change her mind.But if she has any doubt at all, I would make sure she clears that up before going through the abortion. Also, if she wants to keep the baby, then she could apply for AIM it is pregnancy insurance based on income that is very affordable and covers everything from prenatal to delivery.
As for the insurance, medi-cal has emergency coverage available for pregnancy and termination so she should qualify for that. Otherwise, if she goes to Planned Parenthood or another women's health clinic she can tell them her income status-she's not working etc. and get the abortion paid for. Hope this helps.

Molly

I agree she should check with Planned Parenthood, ASAP. And while she's checking out the abortion info, she should change her method of birth control, so she doesn't have another accidental pregnancy. If she can't get the abortion paid for by medi-cal, she still ought to terminate the pregnancy, and just pay off the bill when she is able.

Alternatively, she could have the baby, and place the child for adoption. Healthy infants are very much sought after among couples who want to adopt. Instead of struggling to raise one more child than you planned for, why not make some other couple's dreams come true? (My dreams came true twice!)

There are plenty of other options. From a personal standpoint I have one child, and had a really hard time getting pregnant with him. I had a hysterectomy 2 months ago and would love to have more children. ADOPTION is a good alterentive. There are alot of people (including us) who would give anything to have more children.

I love how rather than give actual advice on the medi-cal ... so many responses are trying to get you to talk her out of the abortion.

I'd follow the suggestions of Planned Parenthood. They offer a sliding scale for all services they offer. They also would know all the resources to get the medi-cal going faster I'm sure.

Good luck.

If at all possible, I suggest a day off be arranged for her TOMORROW! It sounds as though current life stress may be robbing her of the chance to really think this through.

Please tell your friend Mc if you want to help her to call Pregnancy Choices Clinic in Union City TODAY ###-###-####. www.pregnancychoicesclinic.com. They offer free medical up to 24 weeks, referals, pregnancy classes, ultrasounds, counseling. She can go in for a counseling appointment and talk through what it will be like if she terminated her pregnancy. I've never lost a child in that way, but have lost a baby. It is a terrible burden to bear even though I have had another child. There is an emptiness in my heart that cannot be filled due to that loss. A child is given as a blessing, despite circumstance. This is a free service, she has nothing to loose in calling or going in right away. I would urge you to forward her this information right now. There are also several couples who desperately desire to have children but cannot, in this time she can think of the child and their future if she cannot focus on her own. I pray that this helps. Please keep updating.

Tell her to check out Choice Medical group. They can get her in contact with someone that will give her temporery Medi-cal so she can get this done. Good luck to her! I know its a hard decision.

Don't know about Medi-Cal but when I was between jobs and had no insurance many many years ago, Planned Parenthood offered affodable obgyn services. For the uninformed - they do things OTHER than abortions.