Moms, I Really Need Advice. I Really Need Advice for Whatever Is Going On...

That's the beauty of pharmaceuticals!! Take it again (ideally with therapy), it helped and you deserve that. I take medication for migraines, it makes my life a lot better.

Take the meds and be thankful that they work for you. How lucky is that that you found something that helps! They will get you in a place where you can enjoy life again and then therapy will also be of big help.

l have suffered with depression lately, and if I don't take my big dose of st johns wort, I get it again - You can try it, it's very reasonable and I have noticed no side effects

If you had an infection in your leg, would you let it keep getting worse and worse, until your leg had to be cut off? NO. Of course, you wouldn't. Depression is a MEDICAL issue, that manifests itself mentally. It is a chemical imbalance, that is fixed (for who chooses to take meds) by medication. It is like any other physical ailment that needs meds. Cholesterol, blood pressure, pain, etc.

Stop beating yourself up, and get help. It sounds like you are becoming very aware of just how much you're missing out. You are NOT a failure. In fact, I admire your self awareness. Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone dealing with anxiety or depression, to just realize that they are missing out? To realize that what you are feeling, is not good enough for your life? That is a rare thing, to be so self aware in the middle of struggles. You should be proud of that, and not feel like you've failed.

It would be more of a life failure to miss out on your daughter's childhood because of pride or unrealistic expectations of yourself. Obviously, it is unrealistic to expect that you can enjoy her without being on meds for now. So go, make that call, and start enjoying your child!
Also, you should know that even on meds, if you are still having some of these thoughts and worries that it is normal. This is part of motherhood, you are every day having to let go a little bit more, and it is HARD and SCARY! I definitely worry about my kids, I worry about their physical health, their emotional stability, and their spiritual/eternal choices. So I do what I can to provide the best environment for them to grow in, and pray about the rest! Why do you think all of us mom's on here on Mamasource? Because we love our children and want the best for them, and worry that we aren't always providing it!
Hang in there, get the help you need, and be aware that your worries are proof of what a good mom you are :)

go get the medicine and quit beating yourself up over it. ... and then start enjoying life again!! Make the call tomorrow morning!!! no big deal. You are not a failure!!

Please get back on your meds. There's no failure in having a chemical imbalance going on in your brain. This isn't something anyone chooses or makes happen to themselves. Please find someone to talk to, even a hotline. Find some counseling. You do have the power to live the life you want to live, and you will have to be incredibly brave to do it.

I will say from personal experience that medication without counseling will not be nearly as effective as it could be. Don't waste time in getting your life back together. We're all here for you. You aren't a failure, you are trying to get help, which means you know what you are needing. A good counselor can help immensely. I don't know what I would have done without that kind of support.

I'll be keeping you in mind. Step out on faith and do the things you need to do to feel better.

Would you ever scorn a diabetic for taking their insulin? Label them as 'weak' for needing it to live?

Well then you shouldn't do that to yourself, either.

A chemical imbalance in your brain, a real, physiological event is taking place. Something in your body needs a medication to work properly, that is all. I know there has been soooo much stigma over mental health in, well, all of history basically. It was a stigma born of ignorance. We know better now.

Just like we know epilepsy isn't caused by the devil.

You are actually being a STRONGER woman when you take your medication. You are bigger than your pride, bigger than the potential negative opinions of others. You are rising up and doing what needs to be done for you and your family. Your PPD is making it hard to think strait, so seriously good for you for asking for help! Listen to these woman now who are here to support you as a mom. It's okay to take your meds.

Can you see a counselor? Do you have access to a doctor to prescribe your medication. You need to see someone as soon as possible. Tomorrow morning. You can do this, you came here for help and now you can pick up the phone and call your doctor. Good for you, momma.

Please, please, please get back on your meds. What you really need to know is that once the meds start working, it doesn't mean your "cured". It just means your meds are working. If you feel like you are done with meds, then you go and talk to your doctor and listen to what he says. More than likely he would tell you exactly what I told you.
p.s. EFT is amazing. youtube it. It looks weird, but its a very direct way to deal with problems. My friend did it and she is a completely different person (for the better).

Hun think about it this way if your body did not make enough insulin would you feel like a failure for being diabetic? Taking meds to make yourself feel better is just another way of fixing a chemical imbalance. I deal with the same with my bipolar spouse where at times because he has stopped when he felt normal but it don't last. I say take the medication as long as your dr says stay on it, That way you can be the best mom you can be .. believe me it will also be healthier for your daughter.

Bug hit the nail on the head.

This is a medical condition. If you were having a heart attack, you would not just sit there and repeat mantras, drink some weird herbal remedy, or just get some more exercise. Nope - you'd get the medical condition taken care of by a professional.

Anxiety and post-partum depression are a result of chemicals in your brain either going to the wrong place, not being accepted at the right terminals, being made in too large of a quantity, or being made in too small of a quantity. You've done nothing wrong. Your neurological system is just not doing what it should be doing. You started feeling 'normal' because the medicines helped balance the chemicals in the brain so they could do their job the way they were supposed to.

There is no shame in seeking treatment for your condition be it medicine, therapy/counseling or both. Talk to your primary care physician first and see if he/she can refer you to both a psychiatrist (for medical/pharmaceutical management) and a psychologist/counselor (for therapy).

you're not a failure! It's a chemical imbalance, not something you did on purpose! Don't let anyone make you feel like you're less of a mom or person b/c you might need some medicine. Do what you have to for yourself and your family.

How lucky for you that you found a medication that really helps you...but how unlucky for you that your irrational self is the deciding factor.

Your cycle is ever oh so common...the meds helped you feel better so you thought, erroneously, that you could go off of them. It happens to countless patients. All strong willed individuals who want to live chemically free and be independent of drugs, even helpful ones.

You have lots of great analogies here. Please memorize them. Please don't dismiss them. Please contact your health care provider or Psychiatrist who prescribed the meds for you before. Tell them the truth. They will undoubtedly be very helpful in helping you find your way back to normal...and a medicated self will be your normal self.

I would recommend you not self-wean again. Only go off meds if you've had years of success and ONLY under medical supervision. Your family is counting on you.

If the medication truly helps you, then you need to get back on it. What are you waiting for?

Hi,

I just have to say, there is absolutely NO shame in taking medication. If the meds worked well for you and made you feel normal, why aren't you taking them again?? I would talk to your doctor today and get back on the meds. Sometimes, people have chemical imbalances in their bodies and the meds really help level those out and make you feel better. You obviously are not coping well with the anxiety and I completely understand what you are going through. There is light at the end of anxiety....keep searching and get someone to help you walk you through this. You are not alone.

M

Once, I was struggling with whether or not to take medication for my depression and anxiety. My dad said something to me that changed my view of those types of medications forever. He said "All of those types of medicines fix different types of imbalances, they help with a different kind of sickness...if you needed medicine for your liver to function properly, you'd take it, wouldn't you? Taking something to make your emotions work 'better' is the same thing." Don't feel like a failure at all, as you know, it takes a lot of strength to ask for help :)

I don't have much else I can say, except maybe you'd like to try something I am just starting today (at my counselor's suggestion,) designate a 'worry hour' for yourself sometime during the week (you can do twice a week, whatever you're comfortable with,) and anytime you begin to worry about something, tell yourself you can just worry about that on Friday at 6 and shelf the idea until then, jot if down in a journal if you need to, then sit down and let yourself worry at the designated time.
My counselor says that for worriers, it can sometimes help to allow yourself that time...the important thing is to not let it interfere with your life-worry on your terms.
*I* think (hope?) that by the time 'Friday at 6' rolls around, many of my worries will seem much less worrisome :-)

Seek whatever professional help you need. Take whatever medication you need.

Check out EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) therapy. It can work wonders for some people, including some dear friends of mine.

Good luck.

The brain can be subject to chemical and electrical imbalance, just as any other organ. Is it okay for a person with high blood pressure, but not okay for a person suffering from anxiety, to get help from a pill to make a normal, healthy life possible? Not in my world.

You know you felt "normal" on the medication. You feel pretty terrible without it. Your daughter NEEDS you to be as healthy, happy and available as possible. Children raised by depressed mothers tend to have ongoing problems themselves at a much higher rate than the general population. Give your daughter the GIFT of taking care of yourself. You will both be grateful for it.

First off, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE..I repeat, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!
A lot of people suffer from anxiety, depression, as well as being diagnosed with some degree of mental illness. Many people also need medication to help stabilize and maintain a balance. You are off balance, as many people are when they are extremely anxious, depressed,etc. Their is nothing more proactive that you could do for yourself, then get help. Their is no shame in asking for help, or talking to someone about your problems. Many people take medications for both medical and mental health issues. If you have high blood pressure, you take medication to help stabilize and lower it, right? Same with your issues of fear, anxiety, and stress. You need to stabilize and lower it. You will feel so much better , trust me.

Breathe. You are going to be OK.
Do you feel like a failure for having to wear glasses or contacts? Because you can't see on your own without them. Or what about feeling like a failure for taking antibiotics when you are sick? Taking meds to help you deal with depression and anxiety are OK. Shall I repeat that? Taking meds to help you deal with depression and anxiety are OK.
You really need to talk to your doctor, therapist, shrink, whoever it was that first prescibed those meds to you, and get back on them. If you don't have a therapist or a shrink, GET ONE. You need to work through this. You really want to be able to enjoy your life, and it really sounds like you aren't.
You'll be OK. :)

i think you should go get the meds or at least talk to someone, someone you like and trust. there is no shame in either. parenting is so hard, and everyone needs some kind of help sometimes. you are a better mom if you are a better person. plus nobody says its forever. if you really have nobody to talk to, it can make you crazy, you turn the same thing over and over and over in your head. ...my mom used to work out of our basement alone all day. (seamstress) plus she was deaf, so no music or anything. we would come home from school and sometimes she was like a lunatic, awful, had been thinking about things all day. stuff just gets huge in your head. she finally quit, thank goodness, and was fine. sounds like you need some balance. if you have nobody to talk to, find someone or pay someone. your insurance will probably pay, too. going to a good therapist is good, even just a decent one, and you can just dump and vent and cry if you want, and they dont even know you or anyone so you dont care what they think. it can be a good thing for a while.

Let me ask you this....If you were Diabetic, would you stop taking your insulin because you felt "normal"? Would you feel like a failure, because your body needed insulin? NO!!! Get back on your meds. And while I realize that folks are trying to help. Telling yourself you are calm and centered is not going to cut it. Take it from someone who HAS to take meds so I am not in a constant state of anger/panic/depression. Call your doctor, TODAY. Get the help for your body and mind that you need to get and get on with enjoying your life and your daughter. And remember, when you start to feel "normal" again, it doesn't mean stop taking your meds, it means you have the right dosage :) Better living through chemistry!

I'm with everyone here who has said get back on your meds. Your chemicals are unbalanced, and because of this, you are not your true, rational self. Your problem has a basis in physiology, and needs to be addressed. As someone else said, you wouldn't think less of a person with diabetes taking their insulin would you? It is actually wonderful that you realise that something is not normal. This is your first step to getting well again. Get to the doctor and sort yourself out. Good luck, I hope you do it for yourself and your daughter. Remember, life wasn't meant to be like this!

Get back on the meds (with physician approval/knowledge) and try to understand that if you had a broken leg, you would not feel like a failure for needing the cast! In effect, you have a sprained brain, and if you don't give it the support it needs (meds, AND talk therapy probably) it is not going to get fully better, it will remain weak, just like a sprained ankle that is not properly cared for.

It's hard to have to accept that a maintenance drug is going to be a life time thing.
When I turned 32 I was diagnosed hypothyroid and for awhile I was actually mad at my own body for 'failing' me like this.
But I need to take my medication otherwise I feel horrible and my hair falls out.
My sister was diagnosed hyperthyroid.
She has it bad - to the point where she's had multiple surgeries to get her eyes to fit back in their sockets.
She has to stay on her meds for a number of reasons (her eyes/heart/etc) but mostly because she's not very rational when she's off them - she's freaking nuts and it's obvious to all when shes playing around with skipping doses.
She keeps thinking her condition is temporary and she can ween herself off her medicine - but her condition is life long unless she decides to have her thyroid out.
There's no shame in needing to take a medication.
At least you know there's help for you and there is a medication that works.
It would be much worse if there was nothing that could help you.

Go to a doctor and take medication. If your anxiety is this severe, improving diet and exercise may help, but not enough.

Don't feel like a failure. People who are not on medicine are not on medicine because they dont need it.

Recognize how strong and amazing you are that you are functioning and getting through life even though you have this very real medical condition.

If you had diabetes and refused to take insulin your doctor recommended because you felt like a failure, people would be angry at you for putting your daughter at risk of losing her mom.

Depression/anxiety is a real illness caused by a real chemical imbalance. You are not a failure for having it.

Go to a doctor.

dont feel bad for taking medicine... would you take medicine if you had high blood pressure cancer diabeaties??? of course you would!! this is no differnt. I was dignosed with anxiety at 6 had my first full blown panic attack at age 12 it took a while to find the right medicine once i did i was panic free for 6 years then i had my daughter with a horrible man long story short anxiety came back. switched meds and got it back under control. all was going well until i was 20 i started having severe attacks again to the point where my dad would have to come and sit with me at work! i became agoraophobic (scared of oipen spaces) i didnt leave the hosue with out my husband for almost 2 years. i mean not even out in the back yard! didnt drive couldnt go to the store it was horrible! well now im driving, active mom on the pta always out doing things with my girls. i found a good therapist and found a med that worked and its been great! some days are harder but i know that i cant stop moving forward or i will be right back where i was. anyway my point is PLEASE dont feel bad about being on meds it will help along with the right therapy. good luck feel free to email me!

You need a homeopath who can find the right remedy for your anxiety. Forget about medicine from the doctor it cannot and it won't cure you. It has it's own side effects.
Homeopathy has no side effects. I could tell you a remedy for anxiety but you need one that will really work for you.
More than 15 years ago I was looking for a remedy for a patient whose husband had inoperable cancer. I was reading the work of Marjorie Blackie a British homeopath. She said in an aside that Cuprum Metallicum was the Jewish remedy because Jews worry. The patient was Jewish and so I gave it to her. All her anxiety disappeared and she was able to take good care of her husband while he was dying.
There are many remedys for anxiety and panic attacks so you need a good homeopath who has been in practice for at least 10 years. She/he will find the remedy that works for you.

You need professional treatment.
Counseling as well as meds or natural alternatives, from a PROFESSIONAL.
Don't guess at it.

You can see a medical doctor or a Naturopath doctor.

This is affecting your life and your child's life.
That is not good, and it will 'handicap' your child too.
So think about that.

Needing medicine, does not mean you are a "failure."
Not at all.
It is a chemical imbalance.

Again- this is going to 'handicap' your child too and will or is, affecting her too. A child will get affected by it.
As Peg M. said.
So if anything, think about your child... and get help.
Get healthy and so you can have a normal life and as a Mom with your daughter.

You cannot not participate in her life.
CHOOSE, to get yourself help.
And then you are thus 'choosing' to be healthy for your daughter.

I have it too babe, you are not a failure if you go back on your meds. You deserve to feel better. My mother keeps saying that therapy is a better option, but shes never walked a day in my shoes.
I am breastfeeding, and cannot take anything. I have been making myself sick about my baby getting sick, literally, my stomach burns from stress. A little "therapy" session isnt going to cure that, sorry. Your mind tortures you, and it sucks. My husband says Im going to worry myself to death. I cant wait to take my meds.
Good luck, hope you feel better.

I might be the oddball, but I'm not a big pusher on meds. I'd suggest counseling first. If you need the meds to be okay while going to counseling, then definitely do that. But it sounds like you have some feelings in there that would do good to get worked out so you can feel more rational and in control of things that you CAN control and at peace with things that you can't.

You might be feeling such strong feeling since your baby was born because of the mother's instinct. I've definitely noticed that with me. It's not nearly as severe for me as what you say it is for you, but I feel very protective and worry about my kids. Sometimes my worries get carried away or I know ti's something I can't control (like how other people drive around me). It's something that happens to most women after we have babies. The instinct to protect and think about every possible thing that could hurt your baby. Sometimes if I get too worried, I place my trust in God and pray and tell him it's beyond me, and to please watch over my babies. For me that helps.

I think maybe those hormones triggered something in you that needs to be talked out. I don't think you're just imbalanced in a way that just taking meds will fix. I think there are probably emotional issues that need to be talked out so you can get to the root of the real problem.

I am calm, strong, and centered. I am at peace, safe, and secure. I enjoy who I am. I expect healing and I am thankful for it.

Copy an paste that in word use pink fonts if possible. Print out a few copies and place them all over your house. Read it several times a day.

Get yourself into counseling. You need to find out the root of this fear. Tell yourself daily that everything is fine you are safe. You are not a failure. Go to the library and look for books that deal with fear and overcoming it. The medication will help but it will also mask what is really going on. Going to counseling and reading the right books will help you through this.

Now go over everything you did today and smile and tell yourself 'see it was okay, we are safe'.

Take the medication!

Also, have your thyroid checked, because low thyroid can cause anxiety symptoms and exhaustion and depression.

You have had many responses and I hope this is not a repeat. As far as the medication is concerned, that is up to you. My suggestion would be to try and re-frame. You may want to start an appreciation practice . . . what 3 things do I appreciate today about myself, my daughters, my life . . and take it from there. You should do it every day. Write it down if you like. It can be one baby step toward changing your perspective. All the best. (If you are interested in coaching, I would be more than willing to help . . free of charge. www.peakexperienceparenting.com)

The other mom's are giving wonderful, uplifting advise :) Re-read those responses whenever you're feeling down!

BTW, any chance you have an IUD? If so, get that sucker removed, ASAP. I was feeling exactly the way your described when I had that (awful) IUD, and felt like a brand new, reborn person within a few days of having it removed.

BEST WISHES!

My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best. I have suffered with insomnia and anxiety which I have learned one feeds from another. Stress, lack of sleep, and anxiety can take a toll on your body and sometimes people need to seek the advice of a trained profession. As many other people of said already you are not a failure. My anxiety has never been this extreme as you described but everyone struggles with different emotions at different levels. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis which intertwineds with difficulty sleeping and other issues but about a year or more ago insomnia and anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I could get through on my own but it got worse. I made an appointment with a physician who also specialized in psychology and when I explained to her how I was feeling she said "you need to take a happy pill and everything will be OK." I never went back. I began to research more and thankfully found an article in a health magazine of a Behavioral Health facility. I have been speaking to a counselor who as helped me so very much. She did prescribe xanax for me to take; however, she has given me many self help tools and a lot of reading material that has helped me learn to control a lot of my anxiety. My point is - everyone is different and it sounds like you may need some medication but look into counseling as well to help you understand what may trigger your anxiety. Anxiety can make you feel scared and very lonely but please know you are not alone!!! When I get anxious and overwhelmed especially at night when I have not been able to fall asleep, I read the bible. God does not want people to worry. Look to him and leave the worry in his hands. Take care and let us know how things are going for you. The world we live in today is so stressful and will make anyway have fear - that's why there are websites like this!! Sincerely, M.

If you are against taking medication, then definitely find a therapist experienced with dealing with anxiety patients who can help you during your anxiety attacks. I personally think that your anxiety sounds severe enough that medication will probably really help you out; and then once the medication has helped your anxiety, you can see a therapist who can help you deal with it and figure out if anything in particular triggers it. I don't think you are a failure for needing medication, because your anxiety is just like a physical illness. I have asthma and need medication to control it. You have severe anxiety and you need medication to control it. It's definitely important, for yourself and your child's sake, to do everything you can to be a functioning, healthy and happy person so you can be there for your daughter and enjoy her childhood. Good luck!

I don't want to seem harsh but you need to see your doctor asap!! I have many family members that either are on meds or should be. For whatever reason people who need medication do exactly what you did, they get off of meds and think they are ok. It is a never ending cycle. Unfortunately those who love you and want to help cant. You need to be assertive, look at it as though it is any other illness and get help, professional. Don't think your well enough to go off meds either or you will sink back into the hole. I am sure your a great person that just needs some help, get it so you can be the mom you want to be. Get to the bottom of why you feel those obsessive thoughts. Your girls need their momma!! I hope that you get a hold of everything!! Life is precious. (((Hugs)))

Sweetie, you are so h*** o* yourself. If you had diabetes would you want to go without insulin because taking it would make you feel like a failure? Of course not. Mental and emotional pain and anxiety are just as real as a physical disease. I feel sure you wouldn't want a friend to suffer with anxiety as you are doing. The best illustration I have ever heard was, if you see a small child trying to ride their tricycle and she falls off and skins her knee and is bleeding and is crying and lying there...what do you do? Do you rush over and berate her and tell her that is what she gets. If she just wanted to badly enough and was a good enough person she could ride without falling. ...no? Of course not! So...why do you treat yourself like that? Once you are grown it is now your responsibility to nurture that little girl inside of you. No one else is going to now. Motherhood does not come with a cape. If you need insulin, you take it. If you need glasses, you wear them. What is the end result you want? Your "sanity" and being able to be fully engaged in your life with your children? Then go back from that goal. What will it take to get there? Don't be concerned with what you want to or don't want to do right now. Do what you need to be the person, wife, mommy and friend you want to be.

You already have a lot of responses, and I'm not going to read them. :) Someone may have already said this, but medicine to regulate your mental condition is the same as medicine for your heart or anything else physical. Imagine is a diabetic who was not able to regulate sugar with diet would not take medication? You would probably tell that person to take the medicine. It sounds like you have a chemical imbalance, and you physically need the medicine. I hope you are able to find peace with this. :)

Same boat here for a quite awhile....Get on those meds now!!!!! See your doctor and go get counseling and a support group...Made a world of difference for me...Nothing is worse than being where you are at...Believe me I know.

it is good that you are aware of your condition... its pretty normal for moms to worry about their child but you have to understand that we can only do so much to protect them...

you can go to your doctor again and ask for help.. medication can help your neurotransmitters to balance...

being aware of the things is the first step to being well... write the things you worry about and write the things that you can do to counter these...

get well soon and enjoy your motherhood...

I can relate I have bad anxiety too. took meds for a while. u will never be a failure for seeking help. ur child will need u for a long time to come and parenting is very stressful. I worry for mine excessivley to.If u need someone to talk to im here for u . I have six kids.