Mother and Baby's Father Battle

Updated on September 21, 2009
K.W. asks from Gautier, MS
34 answers

I am 28 weeks pregnant with a baby boy and I still don't have a name for my son. My mother liked "Bresland Ari" but my baby's father hates it, he likes Mackenzie but my mom says it's a girls name and she hates it so i'm stuck in the middle and confused about the situation what should I do ?

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A.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Well I think Mackenzie is a girls name to. How about Mack. Don't do that to a boy. And for the other name I can't even say it. How about you picking the name.

A.

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

Which name do YOU like better? Or perhaps you have a 3rd name to suggest? Like the previous responses, this should be a decision between you and the baby's father! My husband and I chose our daughter's name. No one else had any say in it. We actually had to compromise and give her two middle names! haha

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L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

You can always listen to the grandparents but the final decision involving your baby is up to the mom/dad of this baby. I do have a friend who has a baby girl named Mackenzie but there are so many names that are used for both boys and girls that I wouldn't fret about that too much. You could call him Mac or Ken. My husband never really cared too strongly about the name so I got lucky and pretty much named our children what I wanted. The name your mom likes kind of sounds more girly to me than Mackenzie. My daughter has several girl friends who go by Ari. Yes, my mom had a name picked out too and I ignored it. Told her I'd think about it. In the hospital we introduced everyone to "name we picked!" after the birth. No-one really cared at that point and it was all smiles and pass the baby after that. Congratulations and good luck with the new baby!

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A.W.

answers from Mobile on

K.,

When I shared my "possible" baby names with my mother, her response to my favorite broke my heart.
So, I just decided to pick out a name with my husband and keep it to ourselves until after baby was born and name was assigned.

With both of my children, some family members didn't seem crazy about the names we chose, at first, now they have grown on them all and are well liked for the uniqueness.

Choose what you like most!

Perhaps look up meanings of the names you like and choose what you feel in your heart suits your baby!

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A.P.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

I think that it is crazy that you are even dealing with this discussion. It is NOT your mother's decision. You and the baby's father are the parents. If you don't step-up to her now, you will be dealing with this forever. My husband and I didn't find out the sex on either one of our babies, and we didn't tell anyone the names that we had picked out until the babies were born. I don't really care if anyone else likes or dislikes their names. It is what we wanted to name them. You will have everyone's ideas of what you should and shouldn't name your son, but it is none of their business!

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J.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

How do you feel about the names?? It is your Son I feel you and your husband are first is line for the name. I feel that you and your husband should come to an agreement first and foremost, However I do understand that you want to make your momma feel included in the naming process do you think you could come to a compromise and do something like "Bresland Mackenzie" or "Mackenzie Ari"...What do you want??? You are going to be a momma do you think Mackenzie sounds girlie or do you like Bresland Ari...If you do decide to go with Mackenzie explain to your mom she can call him Mack so it doesn’t sound so girlie or if you decide to go with Bresland Ari your Husband can call him B…
Best Wishes

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L.R.

answers from Shreveport on

First, I'm just gonna say that it's yours & the daddy's baby, not your mom's...so whatever name YOU & the DAD come up with is the name that it's gonna be...i'm just sayin'...I like Mackenzie, personally. Maybe you could do a mixture of the two you like the best...

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Pick a name that you and the baby's daddy like, and leave your mother out of the decision process.

As for "girl names" and "boy names," I know men named Leslie, Evelyn, Lynn, and Madison, as well as women named Leonard, George, and Michael.

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M.P.

answers from Texarkana on

You should name him something different. Don't choose either name for him. Argument solved.

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H.W.

answers from Tulsa on

You and the dad need to pick the name. This is not your mom's baby. She got to choose your name :)

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L.C.

answers from Montgomery on

It really is between you and the Baby's Father. I told my husband if we didn't have a name for our son, by the time we went to the hospital that I was naming him what I wanted to. My parents and mother in law all thought we should have named two of our kids something different. My third one we kinda let the kids name her. Good luck. It better be a name you like amd goes well with the word no.

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H.D.

answers from Lafayette on

I'm pretty sure I read YOU are the one who is pregnant. So, I say talk it over with the father and you two come up with a name.
You're mom already named you...why would she get the luxury of naming your kids? Put an end to this control issue NOW before your baby arrives...

Good Luck...

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S.N.

answers from Oklahoma City on

K.,

First things first, it's okay that you don't have any names picked out for your baby yet, you've still got a ways to go. I had names picked out for my youngest, and when he was born we still wound up changing it because the name we had picked out didn't fit the little guy. You don't have to have a name picked out months before it's born, but it's a good idea to have a list of names you like so you have a good idea what you want when it gets here.

Second, Mackenzie is usually a girl's name, but I've known several guys with that name, so it really can go either way. It's your child, name it what you want.

And most important, why is your mother naming your baby? If something happened to you and the baby's father (god forbid) I could see the next surviving relative nameing and adopting the baby, but as long as you are here, it's your kid, you name it what you want. I would give the father some say in the naming, I mean, he is the father, at least try to compromise on a name you both like or can live with, but leave mom the hell out of it! Unless she's the one carrying the baby for nine months, she'll live with it and love it no matter what you call it!

S.

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J.S.

answers from Lafayette on

you and your husband need to talk about it and come to an agreement. Your mother is going to have to respect that. She's already had the chance to name her own kids! Don't let this cause undue stress and congratulations!!! This is a special event for you and your husband!

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J.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

What do you like? You should name your child something that is your choice, not your parents. My mom hated my daughter's name at first, but it was what my husband and I chose. BTW, tell your mom that Mackenzie has just recently become popular with girls, it used to be a boys only name. Many names can be acceptable for either gender. Good luck.
J.

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R.E.

answers from Tulsa on

What you name the baby is between you and the father. Your mother already had her time to name babies; now it's your turn. Something to consider in naming kids: it's nice to be unique, but too unique and it will be a headache for the boy, because he will constantly have to spell it for people or explain it. We went with fairly standard names (Robert, Samuel) that they could grow into, but not names anyone else in the near family has (a challenge because my husband has six siblings and some close cousins). We spell Robert's nickname "Robby" because I like it that way, and it's taken some persistence in getting people to spell it that way instead of "Robbie" - so be warned. Oh, and also check initials so they don't spell anything weird or embarrassing, like ED or PIE or something like that. But remember - it's between you and the baby's father, and while others can (and will) give their advice, it's not for them to say. Just pick a name you can both agree on, and that you figure won't make your kid hate you later. :)

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A.H.

answers from Fayetteville on

It's your child and you should name him whatever you like! I would say that I think of Mackenzie as a girls name as well but Bresland Ari is VERY different and could be hard for him to accept. You and the father need to talk and agree. It's fine to get other opinions but nobody else should tell you that you have to name your baby something.
Congratulations!

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C.I.

answers from Fort Smith on

Your mom had her chance to name babies when she had her own. The decision of what to name your baby is between you and the father. I highly recommend keeping the name a secret until the baby is born. When you had grandma the baby and introduce him, she'll be focused on the beautiful baby, not the name. If you are married to the father or planning to be, it is important to set the precident NOW that you and your partner are a team and those decisions are yours to make. The more you let your mom into the marriage, the further she'll stick her nose in. Love her, but require respect for your new family - that is a giant step towards tranquility.

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C.E.

answers from Jackson on

MacKenzie is a girl's name so please talk to him about this. Do not go with what your mother says, if you do you will always regret it,my mother did. You and the father need to name this child together, this is one of the first and biggest decisions you to will make as parents. A name is important for you and the father, no offense but your mother should already know this and she really should not be to involved in this besides given you ideas but she should not be making any decisions.

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R.F.

answers from Fayetteville on

First, its your baby, not your mom's, so you should be much less concerned about her opinion than you are. My mom tried to force her opinion of what she thought my childrens' names should be on me, and I simple told her..."well, when you figure out how to miraculously move them from my womb to yours, then you can pick their name." I say, give her suggestion some thought, but ultimately, it's the baby's parents choice.

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K.F.

answers from Lafayette on

Who's kid is it u and your mom are u and your husband.he made he should get first choice dont u think so.

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H.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My husband and I were determined that we were going to keep the name of our son a secret until he was born... partly because we wanted the freedom to change our minds after he was born, and partly because we've heard so many horror stories about people being 'talked out of' using their preferred names. This is a great plan... it really was a great plan for us. Except my mom is sick with cancer, and not afraid to use just a little nudge of guilt to get what she wants! She made a big stink about needing to know his name so that she could have some things personalized for him now, in case she didn't make it to meet him. (My mom is GOOD at getting what she wants! :D) So we found a compromise... We found a name that we both liked for a nickname and found several longer names that could be shortened to that nickname. We had several options worked out - full names to choose from once he was born, but we knew we were going to 'call' him Eli. So that's the info we gave people... we didn't share our 'options', we just told people that he would dictate his own name but that we would be calling him Eli. People loved to guess what his full name would be, but didn't give us any trouble about it - it became a game!

My advice to you (fellow daughter of slightly overbearing mother) is to find a way to have a positive compromise... you're going to have all kinds of time later to argue with your mom, it's not really worth the energy - so learn now, how to get around it! And you should never name your child anything that isn't equally loved by both you and his father!

Good luck!
-H.

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J.F.

answers from Fayetteville on

I was in you shoes 2 1/2 years ago except I was going up against 2 daughters in their 20's a son-in-law and a husband. I had chosen the name Eli Martin when I was 12 if I ever had a boy but when our little surprise package was reveled to be a boy when I announced to my children and husband the name I was using everyone hated the name which was meant to honor my two grandfathers. By the time he was born he ended up being named Emerson which fits his attitude but I still regret not using the name I wanted since I will never have the chance again.

My advise is go with a name both you and your husband like and whenever someone ask just tell them you are still deciding on names and surprise them after the birth of your son. I would suggest that you do not go with a name that could be for both a boy or girl since it can cause some confusion.

J.

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T.K.

answers from Shreveport on

You are trying to please everyone but yourself. Think about the child. This child will live with the name you give him or her for the rest of his or her life. The feelings you are having now your baby is too. You are connected very close. The baby hears everything going on and is listening to your heart rate. Good Luck.

T.

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C.D.

answers from Lafayette on

my advice is for you to pick what you like. It's your baby. My daughter picked a name that I was not too keen on, but it was her son. Now I couldn't think of him with any other name, it fits him. I think there is a higher power that helps you pick that perfect name for your child. Both sexes use the same name. Your mother should be thankful that you want to name your baby a more normal name and not one like Apple. Your mother will get used to whatever name you decide upon. Good Luck.

G.M.

answers from Texarkana on

K.

I am a grandmother of twelve. Some of my grandschildren's names I may have had some influence over, some I HATE - one grandson named Cain - spelled Cain like the wicked Bible brother - at LEAST they could have spelled it Cayne or something, but no -

ANYway, your mother's opinion does not matter when it comes to the final decision. The child's name is to be chosen by you and your husband. You two are the parents! I guarantee you that your mother will love the baby AND - if she hates the name, she'll probably give him a nick-name and that's alright, too : ) But the decision is yours.

I vote Cameron or Benjamin : ) tee hee hee
Blessings and congratulations!
Grami

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M.J.

answers from Birmingham on

Pick out a name you and the father like - its y'alls baby not your mother's. She already got to name her own children and now its your turn to name your own. And once you decide on a name don't tell anyone - just tell them you haven't decided yet. Once you tell people the name you will get everyone's opinion on it and you don't want that - if you wait until the baby is here they will just have to accept the name and will not tell you their opinion so much. Believe me I made the mistake of telling my first baby's name and my mother was ugly about the name which we named him anyway so with the second one we just keep saying we hadn't decided yet that we had to see him first (even though we did have a name) then we announced his name once he was born and guess what we didn't get a bunch of unwanted opinions and advice! Good luck - stay strong!!

S.W.

answers from Fort Smith on

Hi

I agree w/Chris!!

It makes my husband and I so mad when family members put their opinions in. If it's a name they hate, we are more than likely going to use it.

It should be you and your husbands decision ONLY. No one else.

There are many names that can go either sex.
I know 2 guys w/the names Courtney and Ashely!!

Good Luck!!

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R.S.

answers from Pine Bluff on

K., just so you know, it's not unusual to not have names picked out yet...my husband and i finally agreed on a name a week before our son was born. Always keep in mind that this little one is going to have to live with his name his entire life....look for any ways that other kids can make fun of his name, make sure it runs together well so that when you want to correct him with all 3 names it rolls off your tongue well...look at the innitials, etc. The other thing is....your mom really shouldn't have anything to say about what you and the baby's father name this child. That's something special just for you and he. Mackenzie can be a boys or girls name...go on line..see how many boys are actually named Mackenzie....keep looking, you'll find something you both like then just gently let your mom know what you've decided...have fun K., it'll all be ok. R.

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B.C.

answers from Alexandria on

I agree with what everyone else has said. It is for you and the father to decide. My husband and I never tell anyone what names we are considering because I hate hearing everyones opinions. We always throw out 3 names or so with each child and my mother has always picked the 1 or 2 that we did not end up using. I would try to come up with a new name and see if you can find something to agree on. If you can't then maybe one could get the baby's first name and one can choose the baby's middle name. You still have a few weeks left too. My first daughter didn't have a name until a few hours after she was born. Take your time and pick something you both like and don't worry about what name your mother likes.

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C.W.

answers from Shreveport on

Well you can tell your mother she has already had the chance to name children(her own) and now it is your turn. The only person besides yourself that counts is your baby's father.
My MIL didn't like the names we have for either of my two boys but the only ones who mattered were myself and my husband.
Just remember the baby has to grow up and live with whatever name you give him. Consider that when he goes to school kids can be cruel and if they hear or see a name they can make fun of they will. So make sure you consider that while deciding on names. If you have to keep looking for names. There are a lot of great sites that like babyzone.com that can help with the name search.

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L.W.

answers from Monroe on

Hi K.,
I must admit Mackenzie sounds like a girl name, so I would save that name for your little girl if you should have one later on. In all honesty I don't like the name your mom chose either :) BUT it isn't my child about to be named.
I think you & your baby's father should agree on several names & then when the baby is born, see which seems to fit him better. Maybe you could write down the names you prefer & he could write down the names he prefers, then the two of you go over them together & eliminate the ones you disagree on. The ones you can mutually agree on, save them & when your son makes his grand entrance it will be much easier to name him. Sometimes names fit features etc, & when you both look at him I think you will know which name is best suited for your son.
Your mom (nor anyone else) should not have any input in the naming of your child, no disrespect to her, but her naming your child takes away that privilege from you & your baby's father. This is your first child & this should be something you & he have the honor of...... naming your son:)
I like the idea the other mom said...keep the name a secret & when he is born & you have decided on a name, announce him by name to your family & friends :)
They are going to love him no matter what his name is!!

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A.G.

answers from Jackson on

Do what you and the father like. It's all that matters. More important. get a name that you like because you will calling his name ALOT. if he will be anything like my little boy, he is into everything and i am always having to call his name and get his attention

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A.J.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Tough being in between a spouse and a parent!

And what name would you like??

God Bless

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