Moving - Before or After Baby?

Updated on March 26, 2008
M.C. asks from San Francisco, CA
36 answers

My husband and I want to move to a bigger place for our baby. Currently we are in a one-bedroom house in San Francisco. We aim to move to the burbs. We could do it during the last trimester (8th month) or after the little one is born (within the first three months). Which is the better solution? I'm worried that either would be stressful but trying to figure out the least stressful. Please give me your advice...
thanks

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for their helpful replies regarding the moving issue. The resounding answer was to move before the baby comes, if possible. We need to talk with a few folks involved, but I think the answer is to wait until the baby is 6 months or do it asap. Thank you all for your stories and personal stories.
-M.

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E.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Having moved both immediately before having a baby and immediately after, I can say neither is easy. However, if you move while pregnant, you will have a chance to unpack (providing you don't deliver early). Packing while in recovery from labor and unpacking with a newborn are both VERY challenging.

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B.R.

answers from San Francisco on

My vote would definitely be to do it before the baby comes, if you physically can. We moved when mine was 6 months old, and it was so hard!

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,

I have a 6 month old and with this hindsight, I'd say you that as long as you have a healthy should move when you're 8 months pregnant even though being 8 months pregnant is no walk in the park. The first three to four months of a baby's life (with the post-partum hormones and strong feelings) are intense beyond imagination - it's kind of like parental boot camp. I feel women shouldn't have to do ANYTHING but raise ther children during those months. Or, is there anyway you could wait to move until the baby is around six months? By then, things are usually in a semi-predictable rhythm.
All the Best,
S.

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Congratulations! As a Professional Organizer and a Relocation Specialist, I have much experience in moving families - to a larger place or downsizing to a smaller place. The moving industry has seasons and once school is out the movers put on "summer help" and raise their rates especially for the few Saturdays available for working folks. Also, a newborn will take all your energy and time. Think of those showers where you could actually picture and place all those baby outfits, cradle, changing table, jumper, etc. Please visit my website: www.custommovesolutions.com to get an idea of options. Sincerely, C. Scott

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A.Z.

answers from San Francisco on

We moved when I was 6 months pregnant and although it was stressful, I am so glad I haven't had to worry about that when the baby was here. However, I could see 8 months being difficult because you will need time to unpack and arrange -- I would only do that if you have assistance from a friend/relative so you don't have to be on your feet all the time.

Good luck!

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A.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi!

I would definitely move before your baby comes if it's possible. Otherwise postpone it till later as your baby reaches older than 6 month old. Once you have the baby, believe me, you won't be able to do anything else but taking care of one. I have 4 month old son, and I didn't have semi-normal schedule until he became 3 month old.
Good luck!

A.

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Well, I can't tell you what would be better, I can only tell you what decision we made. We actually knew when we would be moving out of our dreadful, tiny, dank NYC apartment when we moved in. We made do with the apartment for just us, but when we were thinking of conceiving I told my husband "we have to plan this pregnancy such that the baby will be no more than 3 months old, because no one should learn to crawl on this disgusting floor!" Well, we moved out to lovely Foster City when our son was 3 months and 1 day.
Although our apartment really was no place to live, in a way it worked out best for us. I was glad for the familiarity of it when I came home from the hospital. Because we weren't moving during my pregnancy, anything that was ordered or shipped could come to our address with no interruption or confusion. Also, I came home to friends all around, rather than trying to make friends while pregnant. Also, who wants to pack up with a belly in the way!
I found that moving with a baby wasn't that hard. If you are talking about a 3 month old, s/he really won't be disturbed by any changes.
I will just give you a couple of tips on living with a baby in a small apartment--which I actually thought were good choices anyway.
1) Have your baby sleep in your room (if not in your bed in a co-sleeper). http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Close-Secure-Sleeper/dp...
2) Place a changing pad on top of a dresser in your room: http://www.target.com/Munchkin-Contour-Foam-Changing-Pad/...

Enjoy the end of your pregnancy, and your little one!

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I moved when I was about 7 1/2 months (same reason) and I'd definately recommend moving before the baby is born. You never know how you are going to feel after the birth (physically, especially if you end up having a cesarian or emotionally, if you happen to suffer from post-partum depression, or even just dealing with the radical change n hormones that happens). Also, I know that for the first month or so, making a pot of rice almost seemed like too much effort, let alone trying pack and unpack an apartment! Think - feeding a baby every 2-3 hours 24/7 and it'll take about 45 minutes a feeding for the first few weeks. Plan on getting up 4-5 times a night for the first three months, and then depending on the baby's disposition you maybe lucky and it may only be 1-2 times. But when planning you move date, keep in mind that you 'due' date is more like a range that spans (in a normal pregnancy) 3 weeks before to about 2 weeks after (when I think that most OB/GYN's will induce). Good-luck!

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V.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't move in until the house is ready. You'll be stressed out having to live in a mess - whether you're 8 months pregnant or with a newborn - your nesting instinct (and fragile state) will want an environment of peace and tranquility.

My husband and I got the keys to our new house when I was 7.5 months pregnant. Our aim was to move in before baby was born, but there was just too much to take care of; painting, new carpets, etc, plus we were both working full-time and only had nights and weekends available to work on the new house - and I really couldn't do any of the physical stuff, leaving hubby to do much of the work by himself. We ended up moving in when baby was 3 weeks old.

I think no matter when you move, whether it's when you're heavily pregnant or when baby is still brand new - both times will be hectic, stressful, exciting, exhilirating. It's just the nature of having two momentous events occur simultaneously. As long as you just take on only what you can handle (don't over exert yourself) and trust hubby to do most of the work.

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D.N.

answers from San Francisco on

We were in the same situation, one bedroom in the city up three flights of stairs and a sketch element to the neighborhood. We found a house in the sunset and moved when I was 7 months pregnant. We actually hired movers, its expensive but well worth it. You'll be in nesting mode and will straighten that place in no time. I am so happy we did, our baby is 8 days old now and I havent lifted a finger. Hope that helps!

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M.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Definetly move before!

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K.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I would definitely move before the birth. As hard as it is to imagine while you are pregnant and tired, the first 3 months after birth are much harder. While I was going through it (my daughter is now 17 months old), I likened it to military training! You never know what kind of delivery you will have and how much recovery time you will need, will the baby be a great happy sleeper, or be colicky and crying a lot? If your delivery and baby are perfect, then you can just relax and enjoy her or him! Take advantage of that 3rd trimester bump of energy and desire to nest that you are about to experience and move before the baby is born.

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J.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Before the baby is due. You're going to be sooooo exhausted trying to figure out your baby's needs, the last thing you want to deal with is packing.

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C.J.

answers from San Francisco on

While both times will be stressful, before the baby comes will definitely be better! After the baby, you'll be too busy to do anything else other than catching up on precious sleep! After the baby comes, all your time will be dedicated to the care of the baby and yourself. If at all possible, have family & friends help out - which they will be happy to do for you! Good luck and try to get as much rest now. :)

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E.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Definitely before! Get lots of help so you don't have to do too much. But you will not relish that huge of a task with a newborn baby to attend to. You'll want to relax as much as possible, try to sleep and enjoy your new little one.

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A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Wait wait wait. You'll be fine the first year in a one-bedroom apartment! Believe me!
It is better to stay in the city where you have friends and cafés and things to do! If you move out the surburbs the risk is that you get lonely and bored. The first year is tough, but it is also quite boring, to be honest, to hang out at home with a baby all day, if that is what you are planning to do? So wait! The baby can sleep in a crib in your room!
Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I would choose before the baby comes definitely. Or after s/he is a year or more old. Moving during the first 3 months sounds awful to me.

That said, I think this is highly individual. Follow your heart.

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J.K.

answers from San Francisco on

before...once the baby comes, you will have your hands full.

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M.A.

answers from San Francisco on

As a brand new mom, (my son is now almost 5 weeks old) I would definitely recommend moving BEFORE your baby arrives if possible. As long as your pregnancy is uncomplicated and you are in good health, I think it is less stressful that way. I have found that, while I thought that pregnancy was a bit tiring and physically uncomfortable, it was no match for the physical and emotional exhaustion of new motherhood. Besides, when your child is born, all you will want to do is hold him or her and stare at them in awe... not pack boxes and deal with moving! Just my two cents - good luck with your move, whenever you do it!

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M.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I will suggest that you move before the baby comes. I have to move from Maryland to CA after 1 month of giving birth to my son. It took a bad turn on brestfeeding because I was just so stressful and had to run around to prepare for the move, even though my husband helps a lot, but there are just so many things that you need to do when you move across the country. Find a moving company to help you and once you move to a new place then you can relax and be ready for the new one because after the baby comes, you will have no time for yourself especially if you are a first time mom.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,
I was exactly in the same position. We started looking for a home in my 2nd trimester. I was 35 at the time. If we really tried, we could have moved in by my 8th month. For me, I really wanted to enjoy my last moments of pregnancy, to relax and not be stressed out by my last month of work or by the stress of a very large home purchase and unpacking and making our house liveable for us and our newborn. I figured that our 1 bedroom apartment could work for us for a few months still and it was so easy to live near our hospital (especially grateful bec you have to have weekly maternity visits the last month of pregnancy) and not have to worry about establishing ourselves at a new hospital for labor and delivery. It was very convenient to continue to live in SF through now. I believe the housing market will still favor buyers through 2008, so don't worry about that.
Good luck to you!
M.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

M.,

As long as your pregnancy is going very well I would consider the move in your eighth month unless your Doctor says otherwise. At least you would be in the new place before the baby. However, it may place much stress on you to do it then. Regardless of if you move before or after the baby, you cannot lift.

My son is 6.5 months old now and we moved into a new home when he was 2 months old. This was after I had the C-section. Looking back I would have loved to have moved before he was born and my pregnancy was very healthy to do so. It is nice to be settled so you have more time with the baby and to rest. I found that with nursing and up every two hours it was a hard transition when he was 2 months old to move.

I hope my recommendation to move before your child is born is a good and wise suggestion, but please speak with your Doctor first.

Blessings to you :)

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J.L.

answers from San Francisco on

That's definitely a tough decision you and your husband have to make. We moved from our 1-bedroom in Oakland (too close to the Kaiser construction going on at MacArthur & Broadway) to a 2-bedroom by Lake Merritt when I was about 6 months pregnant. Even though it was tiring to move before I was even in the 3rd trimester, it definitely would have been much harder after our son was born.

If you decide to move during your 3rd trimester, try to avoid doing a lot of the packing and definitely avoid the lifting. See if you can hire movers to help or get friends/relatives to pitch in.

Good luck with everything.

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K.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Move before the baby is born.....you'll have more energy and time to focus on getting moved. Pay the extra to have stuff packed for you, have the house cleaned, etc., because you'll want to channel your energy and focus on the baby. Worth every penny! And then, when you come home with the baby, it's done and you are home!
Kate
enjoying my 12- and 30-year olds very much!

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R.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Speaking from my personal experience, I would recommend moving before the baby arrives. You won't be able to help much with the actual moving, but it's nice to take your time settling in both before and after the baby is born. I imagine it would be more difficult to move with a newborn, not to mention the sleep deprivation. Plus, it's nice to start finding a network of support within your new community as soon as possible.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow, your story is exactly mine, age, one bedroom everything. We moved from a large one bedroom Russian Hill rental to a large one bedroom two story cottage that we bought in Berkeley in my last trimester. It seemed so hard at the time, but I was very very thankful that I didn't have to lift heavy boxes after the birth of my son. I had an emergency cesarean and just lifting the baby (he was 11 lbs!) put stress on the incision. Also, I was just exhausted with feedings every two hours. What energy I did have I just wanted to spend with my son. I remember starring at him for hours. I'm glad I had that chance because at first they change every day. That time is precious and you won't want to spend it moving. I definitely recommend moving before the baby arrives. Good luck and enjoy every minute of this very special time in your life. Also, take a little time now, if you can, to spend private and memorable moments with your partner. Believe it or not, you'll remember those moments before baby for a long time and they'll help get your through trying moments to come.

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,
We went through a similar situation with deciding when to build out the unfinished basement in our house. We were on track to finish about a month before my due date. However, my son had other plans. He arrived 11 weeks before his due date and came home from the hospital 5 weeks before his due date (he's absolutely fine, btw). While the chances of your child arriving as early as my son did are quite small (and yes, I had excellent pre-natal care, didn't smoke, etc.), babies are actually considered full term at either 36 or 37 weeks, can't recall which. Delivering that early is not nearly as unusual. Despite the chances being slim of your delivering prior to or during your eighth month, I would say that you would be wise to avoid moving at that late a point in your pregnancy. Your nesting instinct will also be quite strong, and I, the messiest person on the planet, finally told the contractors that they would be done and out of our house before my son came home from the hospital or I would cause them great bodily harm. Even before I delivered, I was amazed at how little tolerance I had for disorder in my house. I had never cared about that stuff before. Hormones are a scary, powerful thing! Anyway, that's my two cents.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Do it before!!! You will never have as much time on your hands as you do now. I moved with a three month old from CO to CA, I also had my 7yr old. It is so hard to entertain the kids while packing and unpacking.Not to mention you will spend time w/o a set up kitchen, ect. It is so much more work to try to do it with kids. Good luck and get packing!

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

If you have a place in mind, I would move BEFORE the baby comes for sure. Just as a little anecdote, we moved from faculty apartments in Berkeley to a new home in El Cerrito when I was almost 8 months pregnant with my daughter. We painted every interior wall including her bedroom in the six weeks before she was born. I had an incredibly fast, painless, natural, beautiful delivery of a healthy, non-stressed, gorgeous 8 pound girl - in spite of all the "stress" of a move. For me, it wasn't stressful so much as VERY EXCITING! Enjoy and good luck!
K. in Ec

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N.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I moved when my first little one was 4 months and it was extremely difficult. I was in tears for several days afterwards. I think, even though you may be tired now, at least you can build in some nap times and sleeping in times before your little one is born. And at least you will have 2 hands to pack and unpack.

Best of luck in your move and in your new arrival!! We live in SF too.

N.

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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Before, before, before! You will be in shock and hormonal and exhausted (there is a reason they use sleep deprivation as torture) after the baby is born. You will be trying to figure out how to shower and eat during the first months of your baby's life, not being able to find your stuff in all the boxes would be miserable. I moved at the end of my pregnancy without knowing what a good thing I was doing for myself. As uncomfortable as it is to stay active at the end of pregnancy, its good for you, so the moving will help (glass half full sh*t). I highly recommend Rockridge, Lakeshore, and Glenview. Feel free to email with specific questions about moving during pregnancy or Oakland neighborhoods. Congratulations!

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I think there is no wrong or right answer here. Moving is very stressful and so is having a baby! Any chance you can wait until the baby is closer to 6 months? I think that would be better.
Just as a side note, my husband and I waited until I was 30 weeks to move "in house" - we switched the office to another room so we could set up the nursery. Shortly after that I went into pre-term labor and gave birth at 34 weeks. Everything worked out fine with my son and the doctors say they have no way of knowing what brings on early labor. But my gut tells me I was doing to much sruff, especially with the furniture. The chance it will happen to you is very small but next time around I am planning on taking things easy in the third trimester! Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

hi M.! my advice would be to move ASAP! you'll have the best time "nesting" into your new place, and the dust, dirt and chaos raised when moving is MUCH easier when the baby is still "in the package" (you!). my husband and i moved when i was five months pregnant, and we were so happy to already be settled into our new home when the baby came - you won't have quite as much time, but trust me, the baby is safe and sound right now, you can get other people to do ALL the lifting, and get some help unpacking, you can get rid of stuff you don't need, TRUST ME! and, of course, EITHER WAY, it'll be fine, no worries, but i definately found that moving while pregnant was WAAAAAAY easier then how i found it was to even take a shower or get to the store when the baby was newly arrived!!!!!!!!!! oh, M., have fun! you're in for the best time of your life no matter what! gods and goddesses bless you and keep you and your family well.
smiles!
S.

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S.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there,
My one question is, do you own your home? I do Staging, so I am not trying to act as a Realtor, but I know right now if you own in SF and are trying to buy in the Suburbs you have the upper hand. Good buys to be had & I can certainly tell you about some great Realtors I work with and like the way they handle their clients. Moving is Stressful all the way around, but if you are trying to show your home thru the process, less stressful to do it without a baby and the acconpanying paraphanalia, time schedule, etc.
Feel free to e-mail me if you like: ____@____.com. I live in Berkeley, but do Staging thru-out the Bay Area so can refer you in quite a broad range....S.

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K.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Wait about a half a year postpartum. Realistically you can go in labor anytime now. If you move now, you'll have to figure out new hospital details, etc. Not to mention that finding a place to settle in 2 months while running to the bathroom every 20 minutes is a bit much. So relax and enjoy your last 2 months of freedom. Because you'll be feeding your baby every 2-4 hours the first months, you'll be drowsy and disoriented, not to mention stressed out.

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My guess is by 8 months along you wont be in a condition to be moving... I just had my 5th at 36 and I was pretty worthless by that point - so it will be hard for you to pack... I moved when my son was 6 weeks old and it was terrible - he did okay, but it was really h*** o* me... Can you afford to pay someone to do all the work? If so I would move before and get settled before the baby gets here - - - your nesting instincts will take over around the 8 month and you will enjoy getting the new place ready at that time.

Congratulations!!!!!

V.

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