My 5 Year Old Has Hit a Plateau in Violin Lessons - Looking for Inspiration!

Hi, L.,

My husband, too, is a professional musician who came from a family of musicians. I played the piano for many years as a kid but am not a professional musician. In some cases, rotating instruments helps people stay interested in playing music. For instance, I got tired of playing the piano, so I took drum lessons for awhile. (I now like to play both instruments and would like to take lessons in piano, drums as well as other instruments but don't have the time.) Also, dancing can help people develop rhythmically. I took my toddler son to ballet, tap and tumbling classes for awhile. (He doesn't like to dance in front of people so I let him quit after a month. We'll try again next year.) Sometimes a break from anything musical helps people become interested in playing an instrument again.

Sincerely,
Lynne E

You already have some really good advice here and I won't go on to repeat it.

Bizarrely however the DVD "Barbie and the Christmas Carol" has a whole section on it about the young female musicians who appear on the track. It interviews about five of the girls - all quite young - and gives you a glimpse in to their lives. - and how much they practice. My daughter loved this little documentary and watched it over and over.

Just a thought. Best of luck.

As a musician and Dad myself, I thought I should weigh in... Although this one is really a tough call. If you push her too hard (especially at age 5), you could really turn her off for a long time to studying music. On the other hand, it is GREAT to learn music early in life, and sticking with lessons always pays off (even if kids are just being kids and get easily distracted or wane on their enthusiasm). Violin is a particularly hard instrument to learn (I play and teach guitar), so go easy on her. I suggest you INSPIRE her with the kind of books and CDs you mentioned, and even more importantly, take her to a classical or theatre CONCERT (with orchestra). Also, DO let her listen to and learn other-than-classical music. It is important that she reap benefit from what she is working on and feell the joy of learning a piece/song. If she learns a LOVE OF MUSIC, practice won't seem such a chore. Perhaps some of her practices could be semi-unstructured, with more of a "music appreciation" aspect, and others where she must do the nuts and bolts (mechanics). A five year old is very young for a strict regimen (don't shoot me, other music teachers!). I think you can find a balance point, and set reasonable goals (short term, like you did). Make sure she is having SOME FUN and/or sees her progress (which will bring satisfaction and further inspiration). So, if she wants to play Yellow Sub, that's totally cool. She doesn't have to be Jean Luc Ponty or Yo Yo Ma right off the bat, there is time to grow into that truly amazing stuff later. ;-)

L.,

I have played the violin since I was around 6 years old...but, here's the thing that I loved about my Mom and Dad, and how they handled my fickleness.

My Mom told me that I could try as many instruments until I found the one I loved, but I had to dedicate the time to make it to the 'beginner's recital' before I could switch. I learned how to play the clarinet, piano and guitar from 1st grade until about 7th grade...and in the end went back to the violin.

I agree with Susan, give her some room to move around and change her mind. She's very young still and will change her mind again next month. I think music is a beautiful way to learn and be expressive, but if it's forced kids will hate it and become resentful of it.

Today my 2.5 year old love music and has Fisher Price guitars, drums and all kinds of fun toys that encourage music. But, it will be his choice when it comes to music.

I love that you have given her the opportunity to enrich herself by learning the violin, just make sure she's having fun at the same time. My Dad was totally self taught on the drums, guitar and piano so I think I've had more fun just jamming with him than I ever have in a lesson/recital setting.

You may want to give her an incentive for her to complete her lessons and go to recital...rewards are great with this age. But, I agree with her teacher...don't push or make it a big deal and let her find her way with the music.

Good Luck.

http://www.childrensmusicworkshop.com/honor/index.html

http://theguide.latimes.com/facets/music/topic.music.musi...

http://www.laco.org/artists/337/

http://paulgibsonmusic.com/

Her actions are speaking louder than her words. She feels too stressed with to much for such a young age. If she feels pressered she will rebell not by words but by actions. I would try backing off a bit, she is only 5. I don't think she likes the pressure. She may want a different instrument. Maybe the violin isn't her thing. There is a chinese sane that if you do alot of one thing do allot of another. If you are inside allot go outside and spend time with flowers. If you play music allot go outside and play ball. I guess it's worth a try. Good luck. M. R

Google Unschooling. Beautiful concept to inspire both the child and the parent.
Good Luck
V

I agree wholeheartedly with Bunny D.

Your wee one has such a full plate for such a young age! Maybe you should lighten her load and yours as well. Music should be something to look forward to and not dreaded...let her go at her own pace. Five is such a young age to have to be setting specific goals concerning playing an instrument!

Just my opinion! Enjoy your daughter and encourage her to enjoy her childhood.

If it's important to you, then you should keep sending her to the lessons. You wouldn't give her a choice of reading or not reading, learning math or not learning math. If it's something you want her to know, then she has to have lessons.

Having said that I also wanted to add that children so young do not have homework in many European countries with far superior educational systems and standards. We're nuts to make children do homework or practice at such a young age in this country. Children need time to play freely. Lots of time.

The only other thing I wanted to mention is that the instrument you have chosen may cause hearing loss in one ear.

http://www.american-hearing.org/disorders/hearing/noise_i...

It's something to consider.

My approach is a little different. My son plays piano. He's 7 and this is his second year. My daughter is eager to start, but I told her she has to wait until she's 6 as well.

I told my son that he doesn't have a choice about playing piano and he'll be taking lessons until he's 18. I don't know if I'll stick to this statement or not, but it doesn't give him a way out. Plus, I think there are so many benefits to learning to play music, not just artistically, but mathmatically as well. I treat it just like the requirement to go to school. In fact, many schools have taken music out of the curriculum and it's unfortunate because of all it has to offer. I'm not interested in my kids becoming masters/professionals/prodigies. I want them to learn the basic skills, give them opportunties for artistic expression, and grow academically. It's like learning another language and now is the time to teach that so the information sits in the part of the brain that makes it natural.

My approach is...I found a teacher who does not pressure and makes it fun. My son LOVES going to his lessons because his teacher is so nice. But, he hates practicing (just like he hates homework). His teacher and I have taken his lessons very slow intentionally so practicing is minimal (he practices for maybe 10-15 minutes a day). He has the ability to advance faster, but why? I want it to be fun and not a burden (just like school). It's about the creating the habit of practicing and teaching those fingers to move. I try to minimize the stress as much as possible.

My son also earns rewards for achieving certain goals. In the beginning, he earned rewards just for practicing everyday. He would get a star in his practice book for each day he practiced and on lesson day we'd go out afterwards for ice cream if he practiced everyday.

I agree that playing an actual song would make it more fun. My son loves hearing his sons come together. He can care less about his scales (unless that's one of the goals I set for him with a reward waiting), but a song makes it all come alive.

We also don't do recitals as that's more stress than what my son wants. I have mixed feelings about this, but I figure I'll know when the time is right for him to perform. Again, my goal is not for him to be a performer, but to earn great skills. When he gets into third grade, opportunities for him to learn other instruments will be offered at school. If he wants to learn other instruments, then I will let him. But, for me, piano will still be a constant. And, so far, he doesn't hate me for it (like another poster said).

Another thought...with piano, there are schools that do group lessons. Yamaha School of Music is one of them. I decided not to go with the group lessons for my son because he gets distracted easily, but I've heard wonderful things about this approach. Sometimes having a friend who's doing the same thing and could spark friendly competition is a motivator. I think Yamaha teaches violin as well. It might be something to think about that might work for your DD.

My 11 year old son started playing piano when he was 5. He has a passion for music, but not for practicing. I have tried not to be hard nosed about practicing because I want him to continue to love music. He continues to have weekly private lessons, and he enjoys playing, but he still doesn't like to practice everything his teacher wants him to. I'm not sure what age it is to really start pushing, but 5 is very young, especially learning the violin (a hard instrument to play). Maybe let her try some other instruments to see if she likes those better.

I had a similar experience. Mom started me on piano lessons at 5, and I hated it! When elementary school came along, I decided I wanted to play the flute (an older girl on the bus played, and I thought she was the coolest!) This was second grade, and we had band practice at school once per week, plus weekly group lessons.

Even if your daughter chose the violin for herself, it may be that a 5 year old simply does not have the drive or attention span at this point. This is not saying anything bad about her, but if you force it, it just seems like homework. I can say that most kids balk at practice, be it at 5 or 15 (my husband taught lessons for years, and can attest to that!)... Maybe put it away for a time - less pressure for both of you. If she's truly interested, she'll come back to it.

I had a similar experience as a child, but with Piano.
I simply HATED it with a passion. Sure, in the beginning it was fun... but as time went on, I didn't like it. NOTHING my parents did, could change my mind. As far as I was concerned in my little mind, they were wasting their money. I would actually runaway, when it was time for my lessons and I would hide outside. (oh yah, and my Mom STILL has the baby grand piano they bought for me and my sister for piano lessons... and our 'future' musical life. It just stands there in the living room like a big elephant, still. And, I still don't like piano!)

Finally, they let me quit. And then they let me do what I was interested in...which was gardening and art classes and Oboe. The point being, my Parents 'let' me see what floats my boat.

YOur daughter is young... to be feeling this way and the pressure. I know Daddy is a musician... and this is 'cute' that she takes violin. But... ultimately... there is a time and a place for all these activities.. and school, should be a priority... not a 2nd priority. She's too young, to be feeling this way... and then to have night-time stress of having home-work on top of that.... and the feelings of "not enough time for everything" kind of thing.

Kids this age, are fickle. THeir interests wax and wanes. And change. It's okay. They have to explore things... in their own time and maturity. It's okay. Your daughter, when she is older... may want to re-visit violin... or another concert,instrument. It's okay.

All the best, just what I experienced as a child,
Susan

You should check out Cliff Drive Park Music School. They specialize in music enrichment and instrument instruction. The teacher is very kindhearted and has a real gift for working with younger students. I was blown away when I heard her six year old violin student, who was on song # 17 in Suzuki Book I. He sounded like a professional! You can find contact info at www.cliffdriveparkmusicschool.com Best of luck!

I am a concert pianist and a music therapist for kids with disabilities, so I thought I'd give you my two cents. Five is very early to start the violin. Most credible teachers won't start a child in regular instrument lessons until they can read. There are more general, active music appreciation classes for younger kids. As far as lessons, the rule in any home should be that if you take lessons, you have to practice a set amount of time each day. The instructor can help guide parents on how much is needed at what age and level the child is. If the child doesn't want to practice, that is fine, but then they are not allowed to have lessons. Lessons should not be forced upon an unwilling child, but if they say they want them, then they have to practice. Because your daughter asked for the lessons, it seems like a wise idea you had to have her complete the session and reevaluate her interest at the end. This teaches her that you need to follow through on commitments, but that when you complete the task, you have a choice whether to continue or not.
As for inspiration, it sounds like your daughter's trips to the music store with her Dad are wonderful. Also, taking her to professional concerts might be of interest to her. During the summer, the Hollywood Bowl has programs for kids and you are also allowed to watch the orchestra rehearse. Other orchestras have different children's programs. Check your local one out for fun ideas.

My son wanted to play violin about the same age because he saw someone playing and it sounded so beautiful and fun.
Maybe find a concert or a video to remind her how she wants to play (short of course, she is only 5). I don't know what your church is like but we have people perform music all the time. Maybe ask for a special number there-adds to the spirit of the meeting and inspires your daughter.

She's just going through what we all do when we hit the wall and realize that what we want to achieve takes actual work. You probably don't always feel like cleaning house even though you know it's worth it and important. She's the same way. Right now the work doesn't seem worth it. Don't let her give up, just help her remember how good it will be when she finally gets there. Also, talk to her teacher, she probably has some good ideas or can give you a basic song to start working on even if it is above her regular ability right now.

Good Luck

Hi L.
How wonderful that your daughter shares your husband's love of music. It sounds like you have found a great teacher, one who is age-appropriate and who is giving you some sound advice. I would listen to him/her and perhaps consider backing off for the time being. I also think it's great that you and your daughter have agreed upon a 'goal' and possible ending point, so that she knows this won't go on indefinitely, if it turns out that she truly is 'done'.
Please know that I am only saying this to be helpful, but it seems as though you might be overextended a bit? Your daily/weekly schedule sounds like one for parents of much older children. If you are having trouble 'fitting things in' during the week, perhaps it's time to slow down...? Easier said than done, I am sure ;) just wanted to put it out there. I see too many kids (young and school aged) who are exhausted and overextended, and in desperate need of more UNSTRUCTURED time to be creative and learn how to think and how to do things on their own. I know you want to do what's best for her, and to make sure she has opportunities to learn, and that is certainly commendable. But perhaps, it might help her more to just dabble and 'get her feet wet' at this tender age of 5. Even if she was the one who wanted lessons in the first place, perhaps she didn't really know what that meant. In any case, I wish you all the best in finding a solution that works for your family. You seem like a very nuturing and loving parent, which is great, and I am sure your daughter appreciates that.

She's five years old! You expect way too much. Music is a great way to get the brain to use both halfs of the brain (right and left brain crossover) and can be a boost to learning, creativity, and just plain fun. Try exposing her to a wide range of music. There is country fiddle, mariachi fiddle ( I hate it but some people love it), classical, rock violin (ever hear that British girl with the electric violin?). Don't forget the classical. Just borrow tapes or CDs from friends, the library, etc and let her listen. May I suggest that she take up an electronic keyboard that has a teaching program in it? My son did that and taught himself music in about three months. Once you learn the keyboard you can expand your music to other instruments. I did piano first and then violin, cello, and guitar. Don't get stuck on one instrument. The violin might not be the one for her. She might wind up really liking a sitar or didgeridoo.

I agree with the moms who say to not push the practicing. The love of the music, wanting to play and practice should come from your daughter. Of couse kids attention spans change, but forcing them to play/practice only makes them not like it and resent it. I took piano lessons as a child for 6 years. I was forced to practice one hour each day and let me tell you, I hated it. The minute I was old enough to not take lessons anyone, I quit. I still wonder to this day that if I wasn't forced if I would've continued with it.

My daughter's music teacher said the same thing as your daughter's. Don't force the daily practice or she won't want to play at all any more. My daughter goes through spurts where she doesn't want to practice at all for a few weeks, then a few weeks of wanting to practice 7 days a week. I guess they get burned out on the same ole, same ole, like we do.