My Child Will Not Eat like a Big Girl

I think it is normal for kids to act out at home. I have researched this myself for my kids always act better for other people. What I have read and it makes sense is that a child at home knows love will not be withheld from him or her if they act up. Until a child gets extremely comfortable with another care provider they will be careful and try to follow instructions and be well mannered. I dont know if that helps! Best of luck!!!

I think it's normal for kids to do what their parents wish for when they are away from their parents. I hear that all the time. My husband is out of town and our baby just spent 2 days in the hospital. We're out of town house sitting for my in-laws, so my four year old had a 10 minutes warning before I was gone for two days (hospital required an authorized guardian to be there at all times). When I picked him up this morning, I wondered what child they had had, because I knew it wasn't mine! I say, keep doing the training, and be grateful it's taking, even though you don't get to benefit from it. Maybe that will come with time and consistency.

For this issue as well as countless others I really reccomend love and logice. Their web page is www.loveandlogic.com. We have taken tons of parenting classes faced many very challenging issues and this is the first method that gives me great hope. It takes the confrontation away and puts the responsibility with the child. It's wonderful to watch your child choose to do what you wanted them to do in the first place but without the confrontation! Good Luck!

Try buying your daughter her very own set of silverware: her own fork and spoon. Maybe you could find something with her favorite cartoon character or color & bling on it, but I think it may motivate her to eat like a lady. At the same time, use verbal reinforcement/praise to let her know that you like her new appropriate behaviors. If you get the family involved, it will help to reinforce and model good behavior. Try not to provide her with negative attention (scolding). We may think we’re punishing, but it turns out that we are rewarding with attention.
Good luck!

Continue to be consistent at home. If she is getting away with it at home she will continue to test you. Make a big deal out of her being a big girl. If she refuses to eat like one remove her from the table until she can come back and sit like a big girl and eat. Also even try a reward type chart for every day she continues to be a big girl, however this ends and she still needs to continue to do it without needing a reward. You are the parent, if she won't eat tell her to leave the table period until she can come back and do it right. I do this with my three yr old son whom at times is goofing off, spills stuff and won't just sit up and eat politely. I will ask him to please get down and come back when he is ready to be a big boy, it takes maybe one minute before he is back and sitting upright, eating politely...

Hi-
Just my opinion that she is refusing to eat like a big girl because she likes the attention that she gets when you stop what you are doing and concentrate on how she's eating. I am the middle out of 7 kids and my mom had the same problems with my sisters. She just ignored it and praised the rest of us for the way that we would eat with our utensils and soon enough my sister was using hers as well. Just an insight from our family let me know if it helps.
K.

Kids will eat when they are hungry. It is not surprising that she eats better with her peers(peer presure not always a bad thing) Try not to get so worked up, she is using her power play. Have her sit and eat with the family but ignore her. After awhile she is not getting the extra attention and she is Hungry. But do praise her when she eats. She needs reinforcement for good behavior not bad behavior.

I'm having the same problem with my 3 1/2 year old daughter. I definitely think it's just the age & completely normal. That being said, I've decided to put my foot down. Last night I told her either she feeds herself or she won't eat. She chose not to eat and asked to be excused. I didn't make a big deal out of it. I excused her and continued eating. If she continues to choose not to eat, I may insist she sit at the table with us. However, I'm hoping it won't get to that. As far as her constantly getting out of her seat, I also told her last night if I have to tell her more than 3x to get back in her seat at any mealtime, then she would lose "special time" for the night. "Special time" is the 30 minutes after I put her baby sister to bed where I spend one-on-one time with her doing whatever she wants (within reason), she loves it, so it's usually good motivation.

My daughters are 9.5 and nearly 6 and they still don't eat like big girls most of the time. :) Just be patient and continue to remind her. As my s-i-l says, "when was the last time you saw an adult .....?"

Get tough, I know it isn't fun but sometime it is all we can do! We have a rule that if you get down (other than to potty) than you are done and no dessert. They whine and cry that they are hungry. In a clam voice we tell them than next time they will sit and eat their dinner. "You sit and eat at daycare, that is the rule here too. Getting up and down disturbs everyone else's dinner, and that is not ok." Very matter of fact. Then she will have to go sit in her room until everyone is done. Do this a few times and she will get the idea that being hungry is not fun. Worked for us.

As for the fork, fingers are easier and that is what kids will be drawn to. You will probably have to help her (hold her hand like you would a pen when you teach her to write) or cut her foods up in smaller peices. You can also prctice with "sticky" foods. Foods that will stick to the spoon (yogert, pudding, mashed potatos).

Good Luck.

My 2 year old does the same thing, he won't sit still at the dinner table,. So What i do Is tell him if you Don't sit down your going into the high chair. He hates the high chair cause We strap him in and he is stuck but it works. So if he gets up again I pick him up even though he throws a fit and stick him in the high chair, I only had to do this a couple times now he sits with us like a big boy and eats his food. Sometimes things around them is distracting, I try to pick up all his toys before dinner and turn the tv off,etc. It seems to work, so they can concentrate on one thing which is eating.

I get this from my four year old sometime when we eat dinner too late and she is tired. I think she is also looking for attention.

Sometimes it's hard to give our kids "tough love," but this seems like an appropriate time to do just that. Your daughter has demonstrated that she has the ability to sit at the table, use her silverware & eat like a big girl. Before each meal, sit down with her for a minute and review your expectations for her behavior during the meal. Explain to her that if she gets up from the table, or refuses to use good manners, she will be done eating until the next meal. The hard part is going to be when you actually have to take her plate before she's finished eating. It won't hurt her to be a little hungry - and she will realize that you mean business.

The rule we use at our house with our 1, 3 & 4 year olds is just that...if you get up from the table or don't use good manners (we usually give them ONE reminder), you're finished eating until the next meal. Our 4 year old (girl) had her plate taken 3 or 4 times, then she realized she would rather have good behavior & eat, than have to watch everyone else finish their meal while she was still hungry. Good Luck!

I know it sounds terrible, but I would tell her to leave the table if she can't sit properly. Of course, at 3 there needs to be some wiggle-room, but you know what your child is capable of. The first time have her leave the table and sit in another room for a couple of minutes. The second time, do the same. The last time of that meal, if she still isn't sitting still and using her utensils send her away from the table for good for that meal. Each time be completely calm. On the last time say, "I can see that you are not hungry for breakfast, lunch, dinner (whatever meal you are at) so you may be excused. This worked with my children real fast. Do NOT give dessert if she missed her meal. They are going to tell you they are hungry and cry and scream, but what I did was just talk about manners and the proper way to behave at a meal table. I hope some of what I said has helped!