Need Advice on Sleep Issues and Weaning

Are you kidding? My beautiful daughter woke up twice at night for TWO YEARS!!! There's nothing you can "do" to make them sleep through the night and specially at 10 months. Just as Amy started to sleep, my son was born and started again. He was much easier, but it took a year or 18 months before he slept through the night all the way. They are their own person right from the beginning. Nap when you can.
D.

You may want to think of ways to get his inner body clock in synch with daylight. Go on hikes with him in a baby carrier, or even just spend more time outdoors with him; the fresh air and the light (not direct sun) should get him to sleep through the night. Good luck!

I found that when my kids weaned themselves, it was the daytime feeding that went first. Also, you have to understand that sleeping through the night is not 12 hours for babies. 6-7 hours is usually considered all night...and their metabolisms usually need that nutrition....so 5am is about 10 hours.

We bedshare and get TONS of sleep. My 11 month old nurses at 11pm and again at 4 or 5am. Neither one of us wake, but I feel her stir and latch her and nurse her. You might want to try that and then keep shortening the nursings.

Also, he might wean himself by the time 2 months comes around. Both of my boys weaned themselves to 1-2 nursing each day by the time they were 16 months. I had a friend whose daughter weaned herself at 11 months.

Something else we have done, is have my husband sleep in another bed with the baby, where he gets the comfort, but doesn't smell mom and food.

Here's some great informative and very helpful links about sleep "problems" in babies, from Dr. Sears:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020100.asp

Oh, also, is your baby latching on properly? Is he actually 'drinking' when at the breast? Is he getting enough intake daily? Is your milk supply still going strong or waning? If a baby does not get enough intake, and does not get enough calories, or there is not enough milk coming out... then sometimes a baby will not sleep well, because they are hungry... or not getting enough. But again, it is common for babies to be waking during the night, and especially at 'growth-spurts.' My kids both had their wakings at about the same times as your son. As they get older, it changes.

Next, is he possibly teething? This is another reason why a baby will wake and not sleep well. Or sometimes they are sick or their ears are bothering them. Just some other thoughts.

Also, if you are trying to wean him... then what is he being supplemented with? Formula? The weaning means less breastmilk & intake for him...but then what will replace that? Per our Pediatrician, for the 1st year of life, breastmilk/formula is the PRIMARY source of nutrition/calories for a baby...NOT juice, NOT solids, NOT water. I'm thinking that, if you are weaning him, maybe he is not getting enough intake? Through 12 months old, a baby still needs to be fed on demand. Per our Pediatrician.

I hope it will provide you with some answers and help.
All the best,
Susan

Hi D., I have read som many times from so many moms this same problem, and yo all have two things in common, the first one is breast feeding children who are old and big enough to use a cup, now don't take me the wrong way, I am not against breast feeding in any ways form or fashion. The other thing that you all have in common, is creating a habit by getting up with the children, it's like clock work for them becasue they know that mom or dad is going to come in, it's routine. I know it's hard for us moms to hear our kids cry, but what has to be realized that sometimes the crying is for manipulation, and you know what it works almost every time. My kids are all grown now, but my mom gave me advice when i was new mom, she told me when my babies we at their 6 week old mark to start them on rice cereal at night, and they will sleep through the night, my mom had 5 kids, and told me she did that with all 5 of us, so my husband and I we tried that, we bought an infant feeder, gave our babies rice cereal, rocked them to sleep and from 6 weeks on slept through the night. When our first child was born we were living in a one bedroom apartment awating for a 2 bedroom to become vacant, well I was a SAHM, but my husband was in the Navy and had to be up by 5:30 in the morning, he took 2 weeks off, but after that he had to get back to work, those first 2 weeks we both got up with the baby, but after the 2 weeks was over it became a little more dificult for him to get up with me and the baby, so having a baby sleep through the night at 6 weeks old was a blessing for us, I'm only sharing this with you so in the future if you have more kids, you may want to try something different, in the mean time, try giving him cereal, right before bed time, rock him to sleep, and realy try and restrain yourself from getting up with him, I understand that he sometimes wakes up his brother, and that makes it harder, maybe it won't take your 10 to long to break this habit, and start sleeping through the night,When our babies were old enough to use a cup around 6 months we use d to put a cup of water in the corner of their crib, sometimes they are just thirsty they will see the cup take a drink and go back to sleep, another thing that is really good, is to put a fish Aqrarium in their room, as soon as we moved into our 2 bedroom, our son was about 61/2 months old an older friend tol me to put an aqrarium in his room, becasue it;s calming and soothing, so we put a 10 gallon tank in his room put a blue light in it and we used it for a night light, if they wake they see the fish, and the movement of the water and the fish is very soothing, so there's some ideas, hope I helped, hope i didn't offend you, if i did, I meant well, and I am sorry, at 52 years old with 3 grown kids, I kind of know what works, because, I see the end results, and a well rested parent is a lot happier and less stresful parent, which means a happier baby and family. J.

The night feeding should be the last to wean as they usually are the ones that are the safety net.

D.,

When I was weaning my son, I found the info here:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

to be very helpful. You can tailor it to your situation. Good luck! Nightweaning is more painful for mom than for anyone.

:-)T.

Okay, I agree with alot of what has been said. I stopped the day feeding's first, then either the night or morning one next,(which ever was easier for individual child i have 6) Then after a week or 2, the last feeding got cut. The night time thing,I let them cry. sounds mean, but if you do it one or two nights he will settle down, the first night is the hardest. I use sippies with water in them for the middle of the night thing, even if the first couple nights you get up give him the cup with out picking him up and walk away, (I nursed all from7-15 months) co sleeping I found did not help us with the weaning. A routine, I bathed, red story then off to bed, stay CONSISTANT in anything you do with him. Don't give up to quickly. It takes a child (typically) 7-10 days to learn a new routine. I understand the PS waking, but it will only be a couple nights and it will all be worth it. GOOD LUCK.

I'm always behind on e-mails! We had the same situation (around 9 months) but it was also taking over an hour to get our daughter to sleep; nursing alone was no longer working, so we were rocking, sushing (the 5 "S"s), etc.
We used The Sleep Lady's book, "Good Night Sleep Tight" (http://www.sleeplady.com/). It worked for us; our daughter is now 21 months old and rarely (maybe when sick or teething) wakes at night. I will say that the Sleep Lady method involves some crying, which is difficult and I understand not for everyone (I noticed the Dr. Sears links), but she has pretty good advice on modifying the method to what makes you comfortable.
I have also heard that the first responder's suggestion, The Baby Whisperer, is good; we just weren't aware of it at the time.
Hope you find something that works for you!

It sounds like you are making great progress and it's wonderful that your husband is able to soothe him during the night. Just thought I'd add my experience: My second daughter took awhile to drop the 4:30-5am feeding. She was able to self-soothe (when healthy), but couldn't do so at that time of day. She's petite and honestly still seemed to need a feeding at that time of the morning until she was about 15 months old. She is now 17 months and sleeps til about 6:30am. I'm wondering if you should try having your husband give him a bottle at that 4:30am waking? And don't worry, it will pass! I bet things will be fine in a couple of months and he'll sleep through til morning. Good luck.

Hi there, my name is ReNae. Have you tried singing to your baby?
I think very out of the box, only because I had to try anything to keep myself calm because I suffered really suvere post pardum.

Hey D.

I feel your pain. I think we have all been there. A true lifesaver for us was using a homeopathic sleep spray by Lifewave. Works like a charm and your kids wake up happy and rested. Go to Lifewave.com/kherihealth for more info. They have sleep patches too that are most excellent and affordable. If you don't like it the company will give you a full refund, but you will love it !!! No drugs or chemicals

We had almost the exact same issue with our second son. When he reached ten months and was still waking up to nurse at night I said enough is enough. I read the book The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. She offers a caring way to help your baby sleep through the night. We also have a preschooler and a very small house so we put his pack and play in the front room so he would not wake up our other son. The first night when he woke up my husband went to him and picked him up until he was calm and then laid him down. Of course he got right up and started to cry so my husband picked him up again until he was calm and then laid him down again. This time when he cried he just laid him back down and rubbed his back. My son prefers to sleep on his side or tummy so my husband rolled him on his side and continued to rub his back. After about an hour my husband was able to leave without Gabe crying. The next night it only took 15 minutes. The third night he woke up at 6:45 and fussed himself back to sleep until 7:30. Let me tell you I wish we had done this a lot sooner. If he is eating solids well during the day then he is more than ready to sleep all night. I highly recommend getting the book to help with your situation. Good luck and get some sleep!

D. G

I found this article, maybe it will help you out a little.

How Your Baby’s Developmental Changes Affect Sleep

The Bumpy Road to Sleep: How to weather your baby's developments changes and still get some sleep.

By Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivack

The first year of a baby’s life is a time of tremendous change for everyone in the family. These 12 months can be both exciting and challenging, as babies learn how to communicate their needs and parents learn how to meet them.

You might think that your baby’s developmental changes (such as hitting motor milestones like rolling and crawling) have little to do with sleep. In fact, the two go together like bread and butter. Each time your baby reaches a new milestone, it’s a double-edged sword. On the one hand, she’s doing a victory dance. “This is amazing!” she thinks. “I can move my body in this cool new way, and it’s all I wanna do!”

On the other hand, she’s now able to move her body farther away from you, which is a mixed blessing in her eyes. She’s thrilled with her new independence and skills, but she really starts to feel her separateness from you. It’s a mad dance between separation and attachment, and she’ll fluctuate back and forth between the two seemingly from moment to moment.

Problem: Separation Anxiety
You’ll probably notice that you have some mixed feelings about your baby’s new independence, too. You may find yourself feeling overwhelmed with pride at your baby’s new abilities on the one hand … and sharing some strong tugs on your heartstrings as you realize that she’s starting to grow up and away from you.

Separation anxiety, whether for baby or for a parent (usually Mom), is nature’s way of preparing us for the inevitable increasing individuation – that’s a fancy, clinical term for “feelings of separateness” – in a parent-child relationship. The sooner you can get comfortable with it – and encourage your baby to do the same – the easier it’ll be the next time it comes up.

Tried and True Solutions

• Play peek-a-boo games. Play lots of games with your baby during the day that allow her to practice object permanence, or learning that when people or things are out of sight, they still exist. Engage her in activities such as peek-a-boo, jack-in-the-box, or hiding a toy under a blanket and then taking away the blanket so she can see it again. This way she’ll learn that Mommy and Daddy, too, go away but always come back.

• Always tell your child when you’re leaving. Although it can be tempting to sneak out of the house to avoid a traumatic, tear-filled separation of Scarlett and Rhett proportions, doing so will only make your baby’s anxiety worse. At some point he’ll look to find you, won’t be able to, and won’t understand where you’ve gone, why you’ve gone, or whether you’re ever coming back. Instead, be sure to tell him that you’re leaving – and if his anxiety is very strong, you’ll want to do so even if you’re just going to the bathroom or into the kitchen to make dinner.

It’s not a good idea to keep him attached to your hip all throughout the day, because if he has no chance to practice feeling apart from you during the day, you can bet he’ll save it all up for sleep time.

• Give your child a lovey. If you don’t already have one, this is an excellent time to introduce a transitional object or a lovey (small blanket or stuffed animal) that your child forms an attachment to because it reminds her of you.

• Lengthen your bedtime routine. Spend a little extra time with your baby at naptime and bedtime, tacking on an extra five to 15 minutes to your normal routine. Give him lots of lap time; hold and cuddle and kiss him so he really feels your closeness. The extra time will also help him wind down his busy body before sleep.

Problem: Teething
There are really two kinds of teething: chronic teething and acute teething. Chronic teething is ongoing; during the first two years of life, your child’s teeth are almost always moving through his gums, albeit slowly. But he will continue to eat and drink normally during chronic teething, and his mood should remain stable (unless he’s overtired!).

Acute teething looks markedly different. During acute teething, a tooth is actively cutting through the gum, which is a very painful process for most children. During acute teething, your child’s sleep – night and day – will likely be bumpy, until the tooth cuts through the gum.

Tried and True Solutions

• Be supportive and available while she’s in pain. During acute teething, your baby will likely have a hard time sleeping through the night or taking good naps. For naps, you can try using motion (swing, car or stroller) for a couple of days, or holding her while she drifts off, until the tooth cuts through.

• Use pain relievers. At nighttime, consider using pain medication (with your doctor’s supervision), a topical pain reliever in liquid form, or some non-medicated teething tablets.

• Don’t work on sleep problems until the tooth appears. Above all, be sure not to work on sleep or let your baby cry while he’s cutting a tooth; he needs your comfort and help at this time, so it’s appropriate to give it to him.

Problem: Starting Solids

Has anyone said to you, “Oh, just start giving the baby cereal – then he’ll sleep through the night!” It’s amazing how this myth has persisted over decades and generations. Once and for all, it is not true that if you feed your child solid food during the day, he will magically start sleeping through the night.

Adding solids to your baby’s diet could affect his sleep – potentially causing night wakings or short naps – only if he has a bad reaction, develops an allergy or has unusual amounts of gas.

Tried and True Solutions

• Make a plan for solids with your doctor’s guidance. Follow your doctor’s advice on how to start and what to start with. Go slowly, waiting a few days before trying a new food, to gauge any adverse reactions or constipation. We do recommend starting solids during the day (as opposed to dinnertime), so the baby has a chance to “work it out” (poop) during his awake hours and won’t be up with a tummy ache at night if he does have a bad reaction.

• Don’t introduce new foods while working on sleep. When doing sleep learning, hold off on introducing any new foods to your baby until she’s successfully sleeping through the night. This way, you won’t wonder if she’s crying out of pain or discomfort. If you just started giving your baby solids a week ago but are desperate for sleep, stop feeding her solids and come back to it when she’s sleeping just fine.

Problem: Hitting a Developmental Milestone
Imagine learning how to fly. You’d be amazed at your new ability – and you’d want to spend every waking moment practicing, exploring, and soaring! Every time your baby hits a new milestone, it feels to him like he’s learned how to fly, and it will be awfully hard for him to feel like slowing down.

Tried and True Solutions

• Offer lots of floor time. To help her do her best at sleep time, you’ll want to give your baby plenty of floor time to practice all of her new skills during the day. This is not the time to have her confined in a stroller or car seat for long periods. She needs to move her body as much as possible while awake, so she won’t be as tempted to do so when it’s time to sleep. Make sure you’ve babyproofed your home enough that she can explore without your constant supervision, which quickly becomes exhausting.

• Give him room to roam. Let your child have as much space as possible to roam, wander and discover. Parks, playgrounds, indoor gyms and other spaces where babies can crawl, climb, slide and dart around are excellent places to burn off energy.

Excerpted with permission from The SleepEasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep – From Birth to Age 5, by Jennifer Waldburger, LCSW, and Jill Spivack, LMSW; Health Communications Inc., 2007.

Reference
Waldberger, J and Spivack, J (2007) The Bumpy Road to Sleep: How to weather your baby’s developments changes and still get some sleep. http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/how_your_babys_d...

I can't wait to read the responses! I too have the same thing. I want to start weaning night feedings, as my daughter no longer brestfeeds during the day. She is 13 mo. She wakes up 4 times a night still sometimes, just to basically be picked up, breastfeeds for like 3 minuttes and then is back down in her own bed. It gets tiring. I heard you are to slowly start to to take away one feeding at a time. Whatever is the most important, and give it a week.Good luck!

Hello Moms! My son just turned three and thanks to an ebook I have, he has been sleeping through the night since he was 2 months...mostly because I was desperate and needed to go back to work and my husband and I needed some sleep before I went back. If you need a "copy" please email to my personal email and I will attach a copy of it. The BIG thing is to be consistent with what ever method you use from the book. We started on a Thursday night, and by Sunday it was once a night(no feeding) by the next week, he was sleeping through the night. CONSISTENT...which was hard because we tried it the weekend before and gave up, then really stuck by it and it was the best! You will have an occasional time when she or he is sick but besides that, not issues! One time we were so tired that we tried to put him in our bed(he was 2) he didn't like it, thankfully! Here is my email address: ____@____.com
Hope it helps!
J.

I am kind of in the same boat as you. About two months ago I posted the same request. My boy who will be 16 months on the 11th sleeps with hubby and me which is still okay for now and still nurses at night. He is not hungry, but it's more for soothing back to sleep. People were helpful and I will share what they told me: Have husband put baby back to sleep which I think u are already doing, putting vinegar on nipples, put band aids, wear bulky cloths to make them less available or use a sippy cup when baby wakes up. Hope this helps.

I'm going through similar situation with my 10 month old daughter. We're not weaning, but I want to get her to a point where she nurses only once during the night simply because I'm tired:)
She was waking around 2am and again around 4am. I tried first to get rid of her 4am feeding, but we have to get up at 6:00 anyways so sometimes that led to being up for 2 hours.
So I decided to work on her 2am feeding and it was so much easier. I think she is still in a deeper state of sleep at that point in the night.
On a good night, she will sleep until 3:30 or 4, eat and then sleep until 6 or 6:30.
Good Luck

D.,

We are going through the exact same thing with our son. He's 9 1/2 mths and he was waking up between 1-2am and then again between 4-5am, I have been reading everything to figure out how to get him back to sleeping for longer periods at a time. The doc told me if he's waking up consistently at the same time every night, fed him an hour before he normally wakes up, so at around 11pm fed him while he's still asleep. That way his body will think he's full and he won't wake up, than tackle the early morning feeding by setting an alarm and waking up at 3am to fed him. We did this a couple of times but he wasn't very consistent so after a few weeks I just let him cry for awhile, it only took 2 night and now he's sleeping from 7pm-5am, my son was just getting up out of habit not because he was really hungry. Hope this is somewhat helpful! Good luck with everything!!!