Out of Control 8 Yr Old

My daughter has adhd and if she does not take her adderall she is near impossible to handle. Have you tried behavioral therapy

Does she have a beahvioral therapist? My son has adhd and takes daytrana (patch) and I take him to a behavioral therapist. His behavior has gotten a lot better. Good luck!!
Jess

There is a web site created by a mom who is diagnosed ADD with a son who has the same diagnosis. It's full of information and advice on dealing with very active people.
www.borntoexplore.org

My daughter has a child in her class that is ADD also and the teacher has a timer and sets limits for her. 10 minutes at a time. When she completes a task she earns letters to the word MAGNIFICENT. When she earns all the letters she gets a reward

Sounds like it is time for some investigation. Are you only seeing the behavior problems on school days when she takes the meds, or only on weekends when she doesn't, or do you see the behavior on both?

If it is only on days when she takes her meds, it is probably a sideeffect of the drugs. You might want to talk to the Dr. about adjusting the dosage to see if you can get the improvement in her school performance while limiting the side effects.

If she's only acting out on days when she doesn't take her meds, then it might be a reflection of "Feeling different" and being frustrated by it. Your daughter may be able to feel internally the difference between mnedicated and not, being able to focus and control her behavior, and not. While it might be hard for her to verbalize, it's possible that she prefers the feeling of calm that comes with her meds.

If you are seeing the behaviors on both medicated and not days, then it might not have any connection at all.

I would speak to her Dr. about it, and talk to her teacher, too. Is she seeing any kind of increase in disruptive of aggressive behavior in the classroom?

Jess

Drugs can assist with controlling a child's behavior, ut I'd say you both need counselling. You, for support, training and encouragement, and your daughter for training on boundaries and acceptable behaviors. Explain to her that she chooses her actions and reactions. We have a choice everyday how we present ourselves. Children are MUCH smarter than we give them credit for. Catholic Charities is a good place to start (they don't preach religion) or Child and Family Services. Reach out for assistance, you need it and deserve it.

Hi, J.!

You do have your hands full here! Most likely you need to talk to her prescribing doc about the exact same things you spoke to here : it sounds like she could use some further medication to help her calm down, so that then behavorial therapy can be used ... and let me tell you why I'm writing! When I was 32 years old, I married my dream man - and walked into a nightmare. Long story short, he was an undiagnosed ADD. Through going to doctors, much reading, and the help of ADD Spouse online, I learned ALOT. And one of the things I learned is that when such a neurological illness is not treated properly when they are a child, it becomes progressive and intractable and far more difficult as an adult. Remember - your daughter will someday be a voter, a mom, an employee - and along the way she will grow even stronger and bigger than you are right now. So now is the time to get a handle on it, please! I shall pray for you.

Sincerely yours,
J. in Jersey

You need help immediately from a therapist in addition to the medication. You need some very concrete behavior modification therapy for you and your daughter. She needs some very concrete boundary setting, and you need a lot of guidance in learning how to do it. It will be very h*** o* both of you at first, but because you are a concerned and loving mother you will be able to make these changes and save your daughter and you from a nightmarish future. I have started to do so myself, though my son has not yet gotten out of control. He has some tough days where he has been very disrespectful and I didn't want to wait for the s--t to hit the fan. My husband and I split up and he(son) is having a tough time with it. Since I started to do some b-mod with my son, we have been doing a lot better in the respectfulness department as well as following instructions without having to repeat myself 3 times.
I think that with all the medication out there, we forget that we need to also address the emotional issues that have erupted because of the ADHD. Medication is important but not the whole solution. Find a behavior mod family therapist who works with you and your daughter. You'll be fine--she's still young enough for you to be the boss again lickety-split.

Medications are very helpful with part of the issues that come with ADD but behavioral therapy is just as important. Your daughter can learn other ways to control her impluses and emotions. It is helpful for you as a parent to learn specific parenting skills to use with a child who is ADD.

Hi J. -

My son was the same way. We found with the ADD/ADHD that they are more sensitive to all the chemicals and toxins that overload their system and lowers their anger tolerance.

We switched our house to using natural products, cleaning, shampoos, detergents, lotions, toothpaste etc and found a huge difference in his temper. Also, certain foods can cause the hyperness in children. Basically how it works is that the environment is filled with pollutants and toxins, our body absorbs them into our system through our skin. So when we use these products to wash our clothes, sheets, pillow cases, we are absorbing them into our system. These added with the environmental pollutants overloads the system and the threshold for tolerance lowers and they lose their temper much easier.

I have lots of research on this area, if your interested you can email me at ____@____.com and I would be happy to send you the info.

We also use a natural alternative to treat my son's ADHD. His school grades have come up and his focus and attention has greatly improved. We have been using this for 7 years now.

When he used to hit, we would tell him that is not acceptable and make sure privildges were removed. Karate was a huge help during this time as they caught him hitting me once and got down to his level, looked him in the eye and told him 'we do not hit mom's, dad's or siblings' and if they ever saw him do it again, he would lose his belt. That did the trick. It has helped him with his hyperness to be able to exercise it out and the focus, self-control and determination were also great life lessons.

Just remember, sometimes its not "her" its a combination of things, BUT she has to learn to control this and know what is and is not an appropriate way to release and voice her anger and frustration and that hitting is NOT acceptable. Lots of times my son would throw things, bang his head, break pencils, dig his arms with his fingers and each time the school would tell him, you cant do that, but never told him what he could do to release his frustration. After I had a conversation and told them just that, they started giving him alternatives. We used a stress squeezy ball on his desk, or he could take a quick walk to the office etc. Talking with school councilors and talking with your daughter will help. Give her some alternatives that are acceptable. Best of luck.

Hello J.
I have an 11 year old boy with ADHD. It sound like your daughter also has the "h" which is hyper. Even though you are stronger than your child it won't always be the case. She will eventually get bigger and stronger. The time is now to make her understand that she must show you respect. there are times that even though my son does not hit me, he does go after his sisters. I grab him by the arms and swing his body around and hold him close to me until he calms down. Sometimes we both wind up sitting on the stairs to give me some leverage. This is not always easy as he is getting very strong. You can't hit because then this just becomes a game of who's stronger. As you are holding her close to you very calmly tell her that she cannot act this way and don't let go until she calms down. Then repeat this over and over again until she understands. If your daughter is on medication (my son is not) that is a personal choice, but I would continue the medication on weekends and even summer vacation. It is too confusing for the body to not have continuity. Also hopefully she is in counseling. She needs it to sort through the anger. A child with add or adhd is at times difficult but with patience and lots of love things will be ok. Good luck.
G. L.

A couple of questions what behaviors does she have or what is she doing when she starts to become out of control. Can you pin point when she starts to become frustrated or loses concentration? Once recognizing those things.. I would begin to intercede and maybe have her recognize when she is feeling frustrated to tell you and then do activities to destress. Like removing herself from a situation or the counting to ten. To teach patience I would do some arts and crafts that take a lot of hand work that the both of you can do together.

Is she only out of control on the weekends? If that is true give her the meds. Ritalin has been around for a long time. She will be fine. If she melts down after the 4 hours try a long acting such as concerta, just beware that after awile you need a stronger dose. ADD is a difficult thing to handle.They don't like to be out of control either. I would also recommend you call CHADD they can be a big help. Good Luck!

Have you changed her diet? If not, now's the time. Get her on the GFCF diet now... Gluten Free/Casein Free (dairy free) diet. It may be challenging but it works and it's worth it. It's highly recommened for kids with autism, ADD, ADHD. My children have benefited from it tremendously! Here is a website for the diet and more information about it. http://www.gfcfdiet.com/

I would absolutely mention it to your pediatrician ASAP. My guess is that it is related to the ADHD. Is she like this in school as well? Or does she show her lovely behavior just to you? It could also be, believe it or not, hormones. Puberty starts as young as 8 in ways not yet visible on the surface. My daughter is 9 and puberty is definitely affecting her emotionally. Good luck!

I dont really know where you are located, however I had difficulty with my son and the doctor who prescribed the medication was so totally off base. I ended up at LIJ where they have an outpatient clinic for children that is really fantastic. It is outpatient psychiatric care. They changed his medications and he is back on track. I her that Montefiore Childrens Hospital in the Bronx also has a great clinic. I dont know your insurance, however, it seems like you are in crisis so explain that to your insurance company. Also I dont know who gave your daughter the ritlin, you really need a psychiatrist who is accostomed to working with children and dealing with medications. Also ask your daughter if the medication is working, On the old medication, my son said he felt like his brain was on fire.

have you spoken to your doctor about the increase in hitting? Having worked in the special education field for many years, I have seen side effects of ritalin that included physically aggressive behavior on several occassions. I know you have tried other meds but there are a lot of options out there so a change in meds may be needed.

Dear Concerned Parent,
I too am a parent of 2 grown children I work full time as a nanny for for over 10 years so I feel I know something about children esp. their behavior. My suggestion to you is check her diet she may be getting something bad fro the food she is eating...if she drinks any diet drinks get her OFF THEM FAST anything with ASPARTAME in it. I am sending along an article please read it it may just save you and your daughter from furthur damage and anger and rage outbursts,,,
I hope this information has been helpful. Let me know what happends..Concerned Parent(too)
SWEET POISON!
A MUST READ!

In October of 2001, my sister started getting very sick.
She had stomach spasms and she was having a hard time getting around.
Walking was a major chore.
It took everything she had just to get out of bed; she was in so much pain.

By March 2002, she had undergone several tissue and muscle biopsies and was on 24 various prescription medications.
The doctors could not determine what was wrong with her.
She was in so much pain, and so sick she just knew she was dying.

She put her house, bank accounts, life insurance, etc., in her oldest daughter's name, and made sure that her younger children were to be taken care of.

She also wanted her last hooray, so she planned a trip to Florida (basically in a wheelchair) for March 22nd.

On March 19 I called her to ask how her most recent tests went, and she said they didn't find anything on the test, but they believe she had MS.
I recalled an article a friend of mine e-mailed to me and I asked my sister if she drank diet soda?
She told me that she did.
As a matter of fact, she was getting ready to crack one open that moment.

I told her not to open it, and to stop drinking the diet soda!
I e-mailed her article my friend, a lawyer, had sent.
My sister called me within 32 hours after our phone conversation and told me she had stopped drinking the diet soda AND she could walk!
The muscle spasms went away. She said she didn't feel 100% but, she sure felt a lot better.

She told me she was going to her doctor with this article and would call me when she got home.

Well, she called me, and said her doctor was amazed!
He is going to call all of his MS patients to find out if they consumed artificial sweeteners of any kind.
In a nutshell, she was being poisoned by the Aspartame in the diet soda...and literally dying a slow and miserable death.

When she got to Florida March 22, all she had to take was one pill, and that was a pill for the Aspartame poisoning!
She is well on her way to a complete recovery.
And she is walking!
No wheelchair!

This article saved her life.
If it says 'SUGAR FREE' on the label;
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!
I have spent several days lecturing at the WORLD ENVIRONMENTAL CONFERENCE on 'ASPARTAME,' marketed as 'Nutra Sweet,'
'Equal,' and
'Spoonful.'

In the keynote address by the EPA, it was announced that in the United States in 2001 there is an epidemic of multiple sclerosis and systemic lupus.
It was difficult to determine exactly what toxin was causing this to be rampant.
I stood up and said that I was there to lecture on exactly that subject.
I will explain why Aspartame is so dangerous:
When the temperature of this sweetener exceeds 86 degrees F, the wood alcohol in ASPARTAME converts to formaldehyde and then to formic acid, which in turn causes metabolic acidosis. Formic acid is the poison found in the sting of fire ants.
The methanol toxicity mimics, among other conditions, multiple sclerosis and systemic lupus.

Many people were being diagnosed in error.
Although multiple sclerosis is not a death sentence, Methanol toxicity is!

Systemic lupus has become almost as rampant as multiple sclerosis, especially with Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi drinkers.

The victim usually does not know that the Aspartame is the culprit.
He or she continues its use; irritating the lupus to such a degree that it may become a life-threatening condition.
We have seen patients with systemic lupus become asymptotic, once taken off diet sodas.

In cases of those diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, most of the symptoms disappear. We've seen many cases where vision loss returned and hearing loss improved markedly.

This also applies to cases of tinnitus and fibromyalgia.
During a lecture, I said,
'If you are using ASPARTAME (Nutra Sweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc) and you suffer from fibromyalgia symptoms, spasms, shooting, pains, numbness in your legs,
Cramps,
Vertigo,
Dizziness,
Headaches,
Tinnitus,
Joint pain,
Unexplainable depression, anxiety attacks, slurred speech, blurred vision, or memory loss you probably have ASPARTAME poisoning!'
People were jumping up during the lecture saying,
'I have some of these symptoms.
Is it reversible?'

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
STOP drinking diet sodas and be alert for Aspartame on food labels!
Many products are fortified with it!
This is a serious problem.
Dr. Espart (one of my speakers) remarked that so many people seem to be symptomatic for MS and during his recent visit to a hospice; a nurse stated that six of her friends, who were heavy Diet Coke addicts, had all been diagnosed with MS. This is beyond coincidence!

Diet soda is NOT a diet product! It is a chemically altered, multiple SODIUM (salt) and ASPARTAME containing product that actually makes you crave carbohydrates.

It is far more likely to make you GAIN weight!

These products also contain formaldehyde, which stores in the fat cells, particularly in the hips and thighs.
Formaldehyde is an absolute toxin and is used primarily to preserve 'tissue specimens.'

Many products we use every day contain this chemical but we SHOULD NOT store it IN our body!

Dr. H. J. Roberts stated in his lectures that once free of the 'diet products' and with no significant increase in exercise; his patients lost an average of 19 pounds over a trial period.

Aspartame is especially dangerous for diabetics.
We found that some physicians, who believed that they had a patient with retinopathy, in fact, had symptoms caused by Aspartame.
The Aspartame drives the blood sugar out of control.
Thus diabetics may suffer acute memory loss due to the fact that aspartic acid and phenylalanine are NEUROTOXIC when taken without the other amino acids necessary for a good balance.

Treating diabetes is all about BALANCE.
Especially with diabetics, the Aspartame passes the blood/brain barrier and it then deteriorates the neurons of the brain; causing various levels of brain damage,
Seizures,
Depression,
Manic depression,
Panic attacks,
Uncontrollable anger and rage.

Consumption of Aspartame causes these same symptoms in non-diabetics as well.
Documentation and observation also reveal that thousands of children diagnosed with ADD and ADHD have had complete turnarounds in their behavior when these chemicals have been removed from their diet.

So called 'behavior modification prescription drugs' (Ritalin and others) are no longer needed.
Truth be told, they were never NEEDED in the first place!

Most of these children were being 'poisoned' on a daily basis with the very foods that were 'better for them than sugar.'

It is also suspected that the Aspartame in thousands of pallets ofdiet Coke and diet Pepsiconsumed by men and women fighting in the Gulf War, may be partially to blame for the well-known Gulf War Syndrome.

Dr. Roberts warns that it can cause birth defects, i.e. mental retardation, if taken at the time of conception and during early pregnancy.
Children are especially at risk for neurological disorders and should NEVER be given artificial sweeteners.

There are many different case histories to relate of children suffering grand mal seizures and other neurological disturbances talking about a plague of neurological diseases directly caused by the use of this deadly poison.'

Herein lies the problem:
There were Congressional Hearings when Aspartame was included in 100 different products and strong objection was made concerning its use. Since this initial hearing, there have been two subsequent hearings, and still nothing has been done.
The drug and chemical lobbies have very deep pockets.

Sadly, MONSANTO'S patent on Aspartame has EXPIRED!
There are now over 5,000 products on the market that contain this deadly chemical and there will be thousands more introduced.
Everybody wants a 'piece of the Aspartame pie.'

I assure you that MONSANTO, the creator of Aspartame, knows how deadly it is.

And isn't it ironic that MONSANTO funds, among others, the American Diabetes Association, the American Dietetic Association and the Conference of the American College of Physicians?

This has been recently exposed in the New York Times.
These [organizations] cannot criticize any additives or convey their link to MONSANTO because they take money from the food industry and are required to endorse their products.

Senator Howard Metzenbaum wrote and presented a bill that would require label warnings on products containing Aspartame, especially regarding pregnant women, children and infants.

The bill would also institute independent studies on the known dangers and the problems existing in the general population regarding seizures, changes in brain chemistry, neurological changes and behavioral symptoms.

The bill was killed.

It is known that the powerful drug and chemical lobbies are responsible for this, letting loose the hounds of disease and death on an unsuspecting and uninformed public. Well, you're informed now!

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW!

Please print this out and/or e-mail
To your family
And friends.

They have a right to know too!

..

Hi my son had ADD as well - we've done much work with him, he's 10 - a few ideas that worked:
* cut out television and computer time - this causes the ADD brain to 'rev up'
* reduce as much sugar as you can in her diet - sugar causes increased hyperactivity - working against your medication
* We have our son take a shower each a.m., vs. at night - because this tends to 'wake him up' so that he is less difficult in the mornings
* Look for ways to take care of yourself - even seeing a therapist to deal wtih your stress and frustration. When we as parents are stressed, it just increases the times of conflict, as I'm sure you have found out already as we did.
* know that your daughter is truly doing the best that she can, even though she may appear so difficult.
Best of luck!
B

I agree with Mary K. Getting her involved with sports, dance or something with structure that she may enjoy and want to do can help.

My son takes medication as well since he was 5 years old. I didn't want to give him medicine either, but it does work for him. He is now 15, but he was taking Adderall. The doctor just changed his medicine, but I can't remember the name. He said it is suppose to have less side effects.

It's hard because I am still going crazy with my son. He is a sophmore, and I am just trying to get him out of high school. I don't see him going away to school because of his ADD. He cannot stay focused on his own, he needs that extra push. He has two more years to prove me wrong.

Sounds like what I am going through with my nine year old son. Ask your Dr. about the highs and lows of the meds. My son is on concerta and we will be changing him to adderal because of the same problem. When the med wears off, he becomes totally out of hand--- hitting screaming and off the wall. I have been told that when the meds wear off there is a sudden drop which causes him to act this way. There are different meds that don't cause this - adderal being one of them- I believe. It is definately not easy. He needs to be on meds in school also, but when he isn't on them at home , it is a nightmare. Call your Dr. and see what he says. Sounds like the meds need to be changed. We currently go to a neurologist but are going to look into a pyschiatrist because I here they are better in dealing with dosages and the behavior issues that go along with add. Good Luck. If I get any more info- i will let you know. Stay strong ---we all need it when we are put in this boat.

HI J.,

8 is a rough age even if they don't have ADHD

this is when my son also started to act out,

i believe its hormones, and beginning of puberty.

I think that birth control might help regulate her,however she is still a bit young, and most likely doesn't have her first period yet,

She needs to have a very routine life,

and i think enrolling her into a sports program will help her drain some of that energy, keep her busy, and tire her out,

I know this was very helpful for my son.

BUt its also very time consuming for you, and you really need to be committed to taking her where she needs to be.

Trust me, this is the best way to go.

M

Hi J.,

ADD in children has been directly linked to children's diets. What is she eating? Overall, she needs to stay away from any processed foods, fast foods, sugars, artificial sweetners and trans fats. Limit fruit juices. Start with a protein at breakfast (egg) helps with concentration and stay away from breakfast cereals. Try organic and all natural products, make sure you read the labels carefully. Home cook with fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains. Also, yoga for kids is a great way to teach proper breathing and decompressing techniques for when the going gets tough. Try these and see if you notice a difference. Then you can re-think Ritilin.
Good Luck.
L. A
Certified Holistic Health Counselor and Mom

I had very similar problems with my son at 10 years old. It turned out he only acted up when he was not on his meds. He needed them full time. Not just on school days. Once we corrected this he was fine. Talk to your doctor about it. It's worth a trial period when she is on them full time.

Hi, We have an ADHD son who is now a teenager. We have had problem with his acting out of control since he was about your daughter's age. We tried everything - behavior charts, "catching him being good" and praising the good behavior, etc. Nothing seemed to have long lasting effects. We resorted to medication and that helped a lot. Our pediatrician said not to stop it on weekends and holidays to keep it consistent, maybe you can try this.

An Understanding Mom

Hi J.,

I totally agree with those moms who brought up the diet factor. Being a holistic nutrition counselor I know first hand that what we put into our bodies can influence how we behave. There are many resources out there for you to learn how to make those major changes in her diet. Taking out artifical colors, preservatives, artificial sweetenters, refined foods, sugar, etc. and incorporate whole foods that are unrefined and without any additives, no white flour, no refined sweeteners, for some no gluten etc.
Check out the Feingold diet www.feingold.org/

Just curious does she eat a lot of chicken?

All the best to you and your daughter. She deserves to have a happy, healthy and drug free childhood.

C.

The best advice that I can give is to talk to your family doctor. He would be able to point you in the right direction. Also a family member of mine is also add and when sugar was elimated from the child's diet it seemed to help.