PLEASE HELP! 21 Month Old BARELY Talking! What Am I Doing Wrong?

Oh my gosh, my first exploded with language at 18 months, so I expected the same with my second. No way! Barely saying anything at 18 months, a little bit at 2, and now 3 months later, talks sentences! It exploded overnight. Don't worry about it just yet!

Was he evaluated by Early Intervention at 17 months? Did they recommend services? If not since it has been more than 3 months you can re-refer him for another evaluation.

I think he sounds totally normal. My son is my second and also has a VERY verbal and talkative 4 year old sister who did all of his talking for him. He had MAYBE 10 words at that age, but right about the time he turned 2, his language just exploded. He's 2 1/2 now and he talks in full and complete sentences and is VERY clear (strangers even understand most of what he says). It has been an unbelievable change in just a few months. Hang in there and don't worry....he's going to start talking one day and you're going to wish he would stop (especially with TWO talkers!). ;-)

One thing you can try is to be sure you make him use his words to ask for what he wants. If he wants a drink, have him try to say the word drink. If he wants a snack, make him try to say snack. I always made mine at least try. Even if it didn't sound anything like it, at least they are practicing. I really don't think you have anything to worry about and you certainly aren't doing anything wrong, so cut yourself some slack and enjoy that little boy!

He's *21 MONTHS OLD!* He's JUST FINE! Trust me when I tell you that saying a word and then not saying it again is totally normal! My oldest did the exact same thing, and he didnt speak clearly until almost 3. Then he suddenly starting speaking full sentences. He's now 8yrs old, in 3rd grade and in gifted ed. He's very articulate and well spoken and super smart. And your son sounds identical to him at that age.

Relax mama!

My kids were 1 and 4, was the same way. She knew exactly what we were saying, but she talked very little. However, her big sister answered everything for her, and she'd follow her around, so if I asked a question she'd answer for both of them. Once the older one was off to preschool, my daughter would answer for herself, and it was amazing what her vocabulary really was!

I think you have gotten some good advice, I don't want to tell you not to be concerned, but I don't want to tell you to ignore it either. I'd ask your doctor and see if he thinks he needs re-evaluated.

At 21 months, he should be close to putting two words together. Don't wait. This time is really important because of neuroplasticity (the ability for the brain to change because it is still developing). My son is 31 months and has what is called childhood apraxia of speech and has some similar problems. We didn't find that out at the evaluation though, not until a therapist has been working with them for a while. If he had an eval, did he not qualify for services at that point? If not I would request another one. They have to have like at least 30% delay to get therapy but it sounds like that might be the case. Not sure where you had him evaluated, but if you look up IL dept of human services and then search in your area you should be able to find the local agency that administers EI (early intervention) for birth to 3. The evaluation and coordination services are free and if he qualifies for therapy your family pays a fee per month based on income for any therapy. It is very affordable. They aren't able to provide as much therapy as my son needs, but anything is better than nothing. The earlier you get help the more likely he can catch up to his peers. My son is very much the same as you describe your son as far as temperament and activity and my boy has a very verbal 6 year old brother....but honestly it doesn't have as much to you with you or siblings as it just has to do with his own individual rate of development. My older son was saying dinosaur names correctly at 2, my younger is doing really good if he can get out a consonant vowel consonant combination. Getting him some help now can't hurt, only help.

It could be nothing. Second children often speak later because others speak for them. Boys also often speak later because they are focused on getting the physical dexterity down pat. However if there is something that needs treatment the earlier you intervene the greater success there is in overcoming the obstacle. Run don't walk to your pediatrician and ask for an early intervention evaluation. When they tell you DS is fine -celebrate. But God forbid he needs treatment then pat yourself on the back for getting him in early and ensuring he has greater success. Best wishes.

Hang in there! My son didn't say Mommy until 22 months and then from there, had a vocabulary explosion.

I agree with all the posters out there about language exploding around age 2. We just started realizing the disparity recently from our firstborn to our second. Our firstborn was saying "I want to eat that" on Christmas Day at 25 months. My 24 month old says "num num," but he means the same thing, we understand it, and we respond with what he wants. Not until we watched video of how much we expected of our older son did I realize how we still baby our younger, not requesting him to say words but just giving him what he needs or having our older son "translate" for his baby talk. It's amazing how he always knows exactly what the toddler is saying! But we've explained to him that he needs to help his brother learn the real words, and in the last few weeks have seen our toddler go from single words to 3 word sentences ("poo poo butt", "big boy bed", and "I love you!" Today he said his first spontaneous 2-word combination "Mama home" :)

Also I'm a reading intervention teacher, with a little background in speech intervention. I would recommend, although mention it to the doctor, waiting until 2 1/2 to get an evaluation because so much language explodes around 24 months. Good luck!

If you're really concerned, ask your doctor. Don't blame yourself either! Every kid develops differently. My niece was talking up a storm at 18 mos. Both of my boys said words once and then you would not hearing them again for a while too. They both started talking more around the age of 2 or shortly thereafter, but when they did, they just exploded. Try to relax and remember to give him lots of opportunities to express himself, even if what he says is not understandable. Good luck.

NOTHING!!!!! We had the same thing last year. My oldest - (girl) has always been a great talker. My youngest (boy) was a bit "slower" to talk. The docs started the talk about a speech therapist. I stuck to my "mommy feeling" and said no, not yet. Well, he just had his 2 1/2 year check up and the change in 6 months is amazing! He is almost talking in full sentences! You have to go with your gut and do what you think is best. I could tell my son was understanding everything and that he just needed a little more time to show us just how smart he really is! Good luck!

Lots of times that happens to the younger child. Why talk when everyone else does it for you? I promise you it will pick up.

make an appointment with your pediatrician asap - and do not leave the office until you have a plan. if you do not address it now, it will be so much harder to catch up. also - if you get intervention before age 3 - speech therapy is paid for.

I have not read any other responses so this may be a repeat. My oldest was a grunter. Also very active, understood everything. My doctor told me that they need to have 50 words by age 2. I would make an appointment so an expert can make a diagnosis. In IN they have First Steps which is wonderful. I do not know what IL offers. My son is now 12 and an A student in Honors. He talks nonstop--but he did have his 50 words by age 2.

Contact Illinois Early Interventions and have an evaluation done. My son too didn't speak much but did from time to time. I found out that he couldn't hear well and it effected his speech. Now he is 5 and is finishing up speech therapy.

He is doing great but Illinois Early Intervention would have been helpful had I known at the time.

YOU are doing NOTHING WRONG!!!!! Ok, that's out there;)

My ODS is speech delayed and currently in speech therapy with our school district. He is almost 3.5 years. Starting at 18 months, I listened to his (former) pedi and everyone else who told me "he'll catch up" and "boys talk later" blah blah blah..... When he turned 2.5 years I had enough and finally decided to go with my gut. I called ECI (early childhood intervention) and had an evaluation done (no dr referral needed). Guess what? I was right. He has a severe articulation delay, which caused an expressive language delay. He also got tubes put in his ears in June, and I think it's really helped (he's had a ton of ear infections). His vocabulary has greatly improved over the last couple of months, as well as his ability to form sentences and he is also better understood by others (and me!).

Call your ECI and get an eval done. It's free, and the worst they can tell you is that he's fine!!!! Go with your gut. YOU are his mommy and know him best. I just re read your post and saw he had an eval done at 17 months and they said he was behind...did they not put him in ST? Get another eval done now. My ODS is also ahead in other areas, but way behind on his articulation (therefore, way behind on his expressive even though he finds ways to make it clear what he wants...he used his own sign language that he made up). Especially if he's going backwards and losing language, you need to get another eval done.

Sounds very similar to my now 2 1/2 year old. Ahead on EVERYTHING except expressive language. Was evaluated at 12 months when only babbling - maybe ma and da. Started therapy at 15 months. Now at 2 1/2, he finally seems to be catching on. Has at least 50 words and several 2 word phrases. He gets individual speech 2 hours a week and a 1hour play group - all through early intervention.

My son also waved inconsistently - a few days, and then gone for months again. Didn't start signing until 20 months, and only learned about 20 of them. Just couldn't seem to get it. Ask the speech therapist about apraxia of speech. Until my son finally seemed to catch on, apraxia was a possible diagnosis.

You said that he was evaluated. Does he get therapy?

What are you doing wrong? Nothing. :) He sounds pretty normal to me. I think it's pretty common for the second child to not talk as much as the first. The first does a lot of talking for them. But he sounds fine. My second daughter is 21 months also and just in the past month has really started talking more but up until then it was just mama, Dada, no, yeah a few animals sounds but not much else. Now she is trying to say everything. So he will start talking more soon. But remember he is a boy and sometimes boys aren't as fast as girls with the whole verbal skills. My sister's second son is 1 month older then my daughter (so he is 22 months) and we laugh cause all he really says is vowels. like ah ah when he wants something or ma for Mom, Da for Dad, e e e for who knows what. But he is smart, happy and healthy. So I think your son is fine. By the time he is two he will be talking a lot more.

When your son was evaluated did they recommend any services? Often what happens if there is enough of a delay is that your child can qualify for speech therapy. If he did not, I would recommend having him reevaluated in a couple of months. All kids develop at different rates, so I wouldn't compare him to your daughter. However evaluations are free-and if he qualifies he can get some really good services.

You put it very aptly: you're driving yourself nuts! Put on the brakes and rest. :^)

I'm laughing at my mental picture of your boy saying a thing once or twice and then thinking to himself, "Well, I know THAT one," and shelving it.

What does your child's doctor say? If the doctor isn't worried about any sort of hearing problem (or other problem), and if your boy is doing well in other things, it might be a matter of patience and timing. The "schedules" given for child development aren't written in stone.

Just treat him like the smart boy you know he is... work with him on attentiveness and obedience... and wait to see what happens next. One day he might open his mouth and say, "Sis, would you be quiet for a few minutes? Nobody else in this house can get a word in edgewise!"