R U Emotional About Birthdays?

Updated on September 22, 2010
D.O. asks from Denton, TX
11 answers

Have any of you mamas been emotional about your child's third birthday? My child turns three today and while I'm really happy about it and excited for things to come, I'm really emotional and a little sad she's just not in those baby/toddler phases anymore. I feel a little silly! Anyone else experienced this?

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

You are normal. My daughter is 15 and I cry every year. Letting go is hard but watching them do so well is awesome!

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Every year! There is this great essay that was in the Boston Globe earlier this month and while it focused on school, the same feelings apply to birthdays, in my mind.
Here is the article. I couldn't find the link. Seriously - I cried like a baby - LOL!

A bittersweet September song
I’m glad I’m not a young mother shopping for school clothes and new backpacks, studying the bus schedule, filling in the calendar with “No school day’’ and “Early release,’’ scheduling gymnastics and dance lessons, switching gears and mindset, getting ready to give my children back to the world, bidding this long, hot, summer goodbye.
I never liked September when my children were young. It meant the end of something, not the beginning. Every year, when they walked out the front door and down the walk to wait for the school bus, a little taller and a little wiser than they were just 12 weeks before, my heart ached because I knew that when I got them back again in June, they wouldn’t be who they were now.
Children grow in the summer, too, I know, but it’s different when school starts. They seem to grow faster then. Everything seems faster.
There is a song from “Big: The Musical’’ that sums up the bittersweetness of raising children. It’s called “Stop Time,’’ and the first time you hear it, it stops your heart. “Nobody warns you of this parent’s paradox. You want your kid to change and grow,’’ the song says. “But when he does, another child you’ve just begun to know, leaves forever.’’
Even when you win, you lose. That’s the truth of the song. And that’s the truth about kids. You love your children at every stage exactly as they are. You love the way your baby fits snugly in your arms, the way he opens and closes his tiny hands, the way he sighs and leans into you when he’s sleepy. And you want to stop time. But you love it when he’s bigger, too, when he sits up all by himself. And you want to stop time, then. And when he learns to crawl. And when he walks and talks. And look. He’s starting kindergarten. And he’s learning to read. Can it get any better?
It does. It gets better and better. Parenting is filled with bests and a million happy tears. But it’s filled with lumps in your throat, too, and yearning for what was because even as you’re snapping pictures and head over heels in love with the moment that is, a part of you misses the moments that are not anymore. The infant your child was. The 2-year-old you pushed in her carriage all over town. The 5-year-old who said “pinuter’’ not computer. The 6-year-old who raced in from school every day eager to show you what he’d colored and learned and made.
September whisks kids away and entertains them and beguiles them, but returns them not as they were but changed and in a different size. That’s why parents cry as they wave goodbye. Because first grade becomes fifth grade becomes high school becomes college even as you watch.
How is this, I wonder, that a day alone with a colicky baby and an I-don’t-take-a-nap-anymore 2-year-old can feel like a year? But 18 years can go by in a blink of an eye? How is it that both my daughters, who just yesterday were upstairs trying on their new school clothes, are this year dressing their own children ready for first grade?
They’ve bought new clothes and a lunch box and a backpack. Just as I bought new clothes and a lunchbox and a backpack for them, just as my mother bought new clothes and a lunch box and a green cloth book bag for me.
It’s a big step, first grade, the first in a journey that will take their children physically, emotionally, and spiritually to places they cannot begin to imagine. And not only will their children change, but the world will change, too.
The kids are excited. We’re all excited. A stop-time moment is on its way.
But time won’t stop. It won’t even slow down. That’s why we’ll pay attention and take pictures. So we’ll never forget the day. So that even when it’s passed, it will remain.

3 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Of Course!!!! My kids are 6 and 8 now and oh my gosh, I almost cried at their birthdays this summer. I take it harder with my youngest I think too because it just reinforces that all my baby days are behind me and I'm getting old (only 30, but still) and they're growing up so fast and before you know it they won't need me anymore. I think of all the fun days behind us, all the sweet moments. I think about the day they were born and how I'm the only one that REALLY holds that memory in my head. I always talk to the kids about the day they were born on their birthday, so someone they will have a sense of it.
Then when I'm done crying, I think of all that we still have ahead of us. How are relationship are turning into mutual ones, we play games, have fun, tell jokes, watch movies that aren't even cartoons! We can travel easier now too. I look forward to every thing that I can teach them. I'm still scared as hell about the day they move out and I'm alone :( , but then someday hopefully I'll have grandkids!!!

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Every year, I feel the same way and this year our daughter turned 20!

I still remember every part of her birth and my husband still teared up when she walked into the room like she does every year on her birthday, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. .

It is extremely rewarding to see your child grow and be happy and healthy. We are so blessed.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Don't feel silly! I look at my two-year old and get sad every time I think of him as a little one. We watched videos from his first month or so the other night and we both cried!

Enjoy the moments, record as much as you can and remember this when your little ones have little ones... at least that's what my dad told me on the day my son was born!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Yes... BUT... my cousin is severely autistic. So I've seen first hand what happens when your baby *never* grows up. (He never progressed beyond the age of 2 mentally, he's in his 30's now). So while I'll wax reminiscent, I'm also always *very* happy as my son continues to change and grow. My aunt literally "has her baby forever". Huzzah for growing up!

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A.E.

answers from Des Moines on

I just have anxiety over the party thing. I don;t think it is silly, we want our kids to be kids but yet grow up and be big at the same time... just part of us being parents.
But yes seeing them grow up is hard for me as well. No tears but I am sure the day of the party there will be.
You are not alone. Maybe others will have some good advise on how to handle it.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

No it's not silly at all! I,m emotional during birthdays too, my oldest will be 9 this December, nine! I can't believe it. She is so smart and funny and loving that I get tears in my eyes just thinking about how much I love her and how great she is. It seems just yesterday she was this tiny, premature, colicky baby that I had to feed every hour and a half :o)
My youngest is 17 months and it's bittersweet to look at her newborn pictures, she was (still is) sooo adorable with her little newborn noises, and the cooing, oh the memories! I feel so blessed to have my two children, I love them completely with all my heart how can we not get emotional when they grow up!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

The birthdays don't bother me as much as the start of each new school year...I feel like I'm sending him to death row every year!

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P.F.

answers from Phoenix on

You are a loving and caring Mommy! I think you are absolutely normal!!! I still get emotional about both my daughter's birthdays. They are 10 and 8. I cried when my 10 year old turned 10 because she entered the "double digits". I also cried when my baby turned 8. It goes by so fast. Enjoy every moment!

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I am the same way. I acutally shed some tears while we were singing happy b-day to my son at his first (and second) b-days. It is so wonderful to see him grow and come into his own, but it is hard to realize that he is becoming independent too. Bitter sweet!

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