Seeking Advice from Mothers of Twins

Updated on June 30, 2008
M.P. asks from Garland, TX
8 answers

Okay, I have messed up I know, and have been rocking my boys to sleep. We started out good(putting them in bed while still awake), but then they both got RSV and have had numerous ear and upper respiratory infections...times when you want to snuggle them :)...and have gotten into the habit of rocking. Now I am trying to teach them to go to sleep on their own. They share a room so I have been putting one in his crib in the room and the other in another room in a pack-n-play. Well, no matter who goes in the pack-n-play, there is screaming no matter how long he is in there....they HATE it. One boy will go to sleep within 5-10 minutes when in his crib. The difficulty is with the other one. He cries and screams even in his crib, for however long I leave him in there. Any ideas of what to do? Should I move his crib to the other room and continue leaving him in it until he eventually gets used to it? If they are in the same room they both cry and scream and neither one goes to sleep. Thanks in advance!

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So What Happened?

Thank you to all the twin moms who replied. I put both boys back in the same room and as you said, each day my little crier is taking less and less time to get to sleep. Last night it took only 15 minutes and his brother doesn't seem to be bothered too much by his cries...he takes a little longer to get to sleep but he does go to sleep. Thank you mamas, for your support.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I put my twins in the same room and after about three days of crying they got used to it and one crying never woke the other up. They still sleep well in the same room and very seldom keep each other up, they're two now.

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

As a fellow mother of twins I feel your pain. I never had this problem as the boys slept in their own room since approx 2 months old. I think you're probably just going to have to tough it out for a few nights. Our boys slept in the same crib early on, until they didn't fit well together in on crib. Since then they have slept in their own crib/toddler bed/twin bed, but they are in the same room. One thing you might try is playing some classical music in the room at bedtime, this helped us and seemed to soothe them after a while. Basically, they just need the chance to learn to soothe themselves to sleep. You could also try sitting in the room with them initially, then moving further away each time... i saw this technique on SuperNanny i think, and then we tried it for a little while when the boys were having trouble and it helped. I hope that you find something that helps and get some rest soon!:)

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D.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Michele My twin girls are 3 and they share a room. At first they went right to bed easy then at about 1 they wanted to be rocked. My husband and i did this for a few months and then i said enough is enough so we just put them to bed. Yes they did cry and i just had to let them. I do think they need to share a room. Mine never shared a bed but a room yes. They will just have to cry. I know its hard and it breaks your heart but they will stop soon. Please fll free to email me if you want to talk about anything. I do feel your pain.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

Gosh M., I feel your pain. I am the mother of twin 3 year olds and what a ride it is! I'm not sure what to tell you. Bedtime is rough with twins. The only real advice I can offer is stick with one routine and they will get used to it. Typically, twins will desire to be close, at least in the same room, but if consistently in other rooms, will get used to it. Any change or transition for kids will meet with resistance in some form.

My biggest challenge with motherhood has been, what the other poster shared about "allowing our children to cry and soothe themselves". Once I understood this is also a necessity, just like laughing and eating for the development of my child, I was able to tune it out. In the beginning, it was so tough, my husband and I turned up the TV. Yes, it sounded like 80 yr old people lived in the house, but after a couple of days and consistency, the boys understood. I hope this helps! Please don't hesitate to email me offline for any additional chats or support.

Please keep us posted on how it goes and what you decide!

K.

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K.N.

answers from Dallas on

Hi im K. and the mother of 11 year old twins.Im not sure if youve tried this but my twins,kept me up for months it seemed like. and i tried everything and nothing worked.Well one night while i was rocking them my phone rang and i had to be on the phone for a while so i put them both in the same bed,sure they cried for a while but then they started baby talking to each other and eventually they went to sleep.So I kept putting them in the same bed. I guess just because you have two babies doesnt mean you gotta have two beds. Plus my Grandma said well they were so close for 7 months mabey they need to be close to feel secure. I hope this will help you and I wish you luck. Sincerely Kritina Natividad

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi,
I have B/G twins that are 23 months. I tried having them together, but they kept waking each other up for months. So I decided to seperate them and it was the best thing I did. I never did rock them and they still cried at first when I put them down, but they would go on to sleep after around 10 min. I read a book that help so much with questions on this subject called "Baby Wise". It said children need to have time alone to cry or fuss to get themselves to sleep. Everyone has an opinion but this worked for me. I also got advice from a mom with 10 yr old twins that slept together and she said it was hard later to get them to sleep apart.
So I felt like I made the right choice.
Take Care,
S.

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B.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,

My twins girls are quite a bit older now, but I still remember those tough early days. We didn't ever rock the girls as we learned that was a tough habit to break from seeing my SIL make that mistake a few years earlier, but we did have then sleep in our room for the first 4 months until we just couldn't take all the little noises and gurggles and such in the middle of the night.

When we moved them to their room they were in separate cribs and it was amazing how one could sleep right through the other one screaming. I would suggest you leave them together and get them used to it. You'll find that they will sleep through the other ones fussing eventually. It took our girls 3 nights of fussing to finally get them to sleep through the night(last feeding about 11 pm and then we'd get up with them about 5 or 6). It was a tough three nights but so worth it in the end. We had gotten my oldest to sleep through the night at five weeks by letting her cry it out, but with the twins, they were just so tiny at first I couldn't do it.

At 13 months your boys are capable of sleeping through the night, so hang in there, everyone in the family will be so much happier with a solid night of sleep!

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,

My twins boys are younger - almost 2 months. I agree with the other poster - I'd put them in the same room. They will probably have difficulty at first, but they will soon learn to sleep through each other's noises/crying. We still have the boys in the same crib and I'm always amazed by one screaming 3 inches from the other's ear and they are still fast asleep.

It could be a tough transition, but I think if you fight through it they will get used to it and will settle into a good routine - together.

Good luck!
C.

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