Seeking Advice on Biting - Oklahoma City,OK

Updated on October 27, 2007
A.O. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
13 answers

My 18 month old daughter has started biting. She started it while "kissing" and then it has turned into biting just about anything that comes in her path on some days. I have resorted to giving her a pacifier in situations where I know she will be tempted, but HATE her to have the pacifier outside of her bed. She does it for no apparent reason just bites to bite. I've read everything I can get my hands on and realize its just a phase, but am mortified by it!

What can I do next?

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T.D.

answers from Oklahoma City on

A., i know this may sound cruel, my son started doing the same thing when he was little. After one of his biting spells i sat him down and i said let me show you how that feels, and i bit him, not too hard, but enough to get my point across, he never did it again. Good luck

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S.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I see you got lots of advice. I worked with toddlers for almost 11 years so i've seen and heard it all. I admit in some cases biting back works but 2 things some it just makes it progress into more biting and another child care teachers aren't allowed to do that. I had one who's dr. suggested putting "no nail biting" stuff on her tongue each time. Not allowed to do in child care also. I even had one that used a pacifier but would spit it out just to bite. My son bit while teething so I let him keep his pacifier until he was almost two and most of his baby teeth were in. I was lucky that I worked there and was given the chance to tell him no bite in a very stern voice and his standing level. I always told him give hugs not owwies..seems to have stuck in his head b/c he gives hugs quickly after he hears us or anyone he has "hurt" say ouch. That was before I met Pam Ramming and her "bit on biting" class.
Anyhow, the theory is that biting has to do with their type of food they eat, oral motor development, and sensory stuff. Children start with sucking liquid, go to gumming purees, then munching soft foods (cooked veges, bread, cheese), into crunching hard stuff (raw veges slices, toast) into finally chewing (diced meats, fruits, raw veges not sliced). The example for adults is chew some sweettarts count your chews then chew a tootsie roll count your chews. Takes alot to chew that tootsie roll. keeps the mouth busy, teeth and gums occupied and helps satisfy the need to bite. find out if your daughter needs to work on one of those levels to satisfy her mouth "cravings". letting a child chew on a nuk toothbrush if you have one helps to. unlike chew toys and rings these reach those molar teeth that are needing the oral motor development. some kids will chew on that toothbrush for a good 10 minutes while those who don't need that only a few minutes. Pam Ramming has taught many oklahoma child care classes on this and an article was written in "young children" march 2006 issue. She's an awesome lady!

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

Whatever you do, DO NOT BITE BACK. Not that you would, but I know there are people who do bite, pinch, or pull hair back as a way to teach their babies.

Both of my boys went through the whole biting thing, but it didn't last long. I just told them, "no biting, biting hurts" and I would put them down if they were on my lap or in my arms.
It took sometime, but it worked.

It seems you are on the right track since you have already read up on it. Just give her time and know other mothers have been through the same thing. Good luck.

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,
In my opinion, time out needs to be longer than 1 minute, by the time you get her there she has totally forgotten the reason she got there and then you sit there and wait a minute she has once again forgotton. SO I think time out needs to be longer, the reason being when she realizes that she has to sit in time out and not play with anybody or anything because she was or did bite and she sees everyone else having fun then she will take notice. As it is now she is still getting attention and still making you stop doing what you were doing to get her in time out. So if she bites put her in time out like a chair or even the corner and then go back to what you are doing. If she gets out put her back or tell her to go back. The part about keeping her in time out is consistency on your part. If you up the anti on the amount of time she has to spend in the corner she will see it isn't worth it to do it in the first place.

And lastly, all kids go thru phases and at every age but you have to nip them in the bud so to speak so you don't loose your authority, W.

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C.B.

answers from Peoria on

I can tell you that I was a bitter so my mother tells me time to time ,but she cured me by one time I had came up to her and bite her ankle well she returned the favor and bite me back .The story goes I never bite anyone again.Not sure this will help.
Chris

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B.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter who is 2 years old just bit for the first time last week. Our neighbors were over with their son. They were putting his shoes on and Emma(my daughter) walked right up to him grabbed his finger and bit. She bit him hard enough to leave bit marks but not enough to make him cry. I was so upset with her. I made her put her nose in the corner for 2 minutes and then she had to appologize to the boy. Once they left I took her and said come here mommy wants to show you something. I sat her on my lap and said this is what it feels like when you bite someone. I bit her in the same place she bit the boy. I haven't had a problem with it since. She knows what it feels like and that it hurts. I could have let it go but then she would have kept doing it. So the point is to stop them before it becomes a problem.

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A.

answers from St. Louis on

I decided to wait and read what other mothers would say (guess I dont' want to be judged), but my daughter went through the same thing. Though biting was reserved mainly for me. I read everything talked to everyone and tried it all i.e. sitting at her level and telling her biting hurts, time outs, and chomping my teeth together saying no bite! Nothing worked until one day while hugging her she leaned in and bit me I reacted by biting her back with a loud no bite, bite hurts! (big no no according to all the books) well she cried, I cried and I felt horable. After that she never bit again (anyone! including myself). Biting, hitting and scratching are ways of expression, frustration or simply getting a reaction, every child is different some things work and some don't. Biting back may not be the best answer depending on the situation, but sometimes you have to show them what they are doing really hurts. Good Luck!

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T.O.

answers from Kansas City on

My nephew was a really bad biter and their pediatrician said that when he bites she should put a few drops of vinegar on his tongue, it doesn't hurt him but tastes gross. It only took a few times and he would say as soon as he bit no yucky, soon he quit biting(within a few days). We also did this at a daycare I used to work at and it worked very well.

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J.W.

answers from Champaign on

My daughter is 1 year and she started bitting as well. To get her to stop whenever she bit someone I told her "no" and tapped her on the mouth so she would associate the no with the bitting. If she has a teething ring praise her for bitting the teething ring, that way if she is bitting because she is teething then she gets the relief from bitting something, but it's not people.

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter started biting around that age as well. One day she bit me for no reason and I SCREAMED!!! It really did hurt but I think I scared her at the same time. Then I showed her my "owie" that she gave me and we talked about why we do not bit. For some reason, this seemed to work. It has been months since she last bit. Like you said it is a phase and an embarassing one but hopefully she is almost through it. GOOD LUCK!

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J.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Although my boys don't have teeth and can't bite my sister used the same approach. Her son started biting and one day she decided to bite him back. Sure, it hurt, but the kid NEVER bit ANYONE again. I don't see anything wrong with this approach. I wouldn't want to bring my kids around a bitter, so nip it in the bud now :-)

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C.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I was having the same problem with pinching and my 18 month old.She is starting to grow out of it although it took a few weeks.I asked the doctor what to do and she said it was a good time to start time out but only for a minute at a time.I can't seem to figure out how to get her to sit in it but I tell her its not nice and I put her down or just walk away.The doctor also said that any attention for it even negative is bad to do.To not even use eye contact when I tell her its bad and provide less attention.Make sure you praise her for ANYTHING good she does.Even if she doesn't notice what she is doing is good and she will try to do more good because it gives her more attention.I hope this helps and good luck I know how it can hurt to be bittin,or in my case pinched hard enough to draw blood:)

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N.C.

answers from St. Joseph on

I used to work a daycare where we had child who would bite when he was mad or feeling left out. It usually seemed he would find the ones he didn't think would do anything. He knew the weak ones. after he would bite we sat him down and explained to him that he can not bite. He needed to use his words. He got better but it was still up the parents. It seems really harsh but, the one thing that I have always heard that works it to bite them back. If they bite someone else, let them bite her back. Then she will know that it hurts and that it isn't nice.

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